Chapter 9: Broken Hearts

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Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon.

Warning: This is shounen-ai aka male/male so if you're offended/disgusted/plain hate it, leave now!!

A/N: Huh.....I just received a very interesting review... If any of you feel the way that GtaJake MK-II feels, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to have the ppl out of character (as the author, I guess everything makes sense to me), I just wanted to make it so that stuff fit in and so that Tai has a kid but isn't married, you know what I mean? I hope Matt's in character this chapter...I mean he's pretty contentious, no? Or at least with Tai. Anyways, thanks to all the reviews. They make my day . And thanks for staying with me after all these tiresome chapters.

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I stared at Matt in shock. Sora was probably the name I least expected. I mean, they had a perfectly happy relationship, right? Wait, I was jumping to conclusions again. Who said this had anything to do with their relationship? "And," I finally managed to croak out.

"And..." He looked away again. "And so I'm done. Now if we're not going to get tuxes, I wish to leave."

"No, not yet. Not until you tell me the whole thing," I said assertively. I promise I'll tell you about what happened to me if you finish up.

-----Matt's POV-----

Gosh darn it, I guess I really have to go through with it. "She's," I started. Wait, why was I giving in so easily? What can Tai do for me after I finish my story? Offer words of sympathy? That's not enough. "Never mind. I told you already. Now leave me alone." I got up to leave, but Tai pulled me down.

"Not so fast. You can't just get up and leave like that. Come on Matt. You already started. Just tell me the rest of the story. I want to help." Help? You can't help me divorce Sora. You can't make yourself fall in love with me, your best friend.

"Well honestly, I don't need your help. I could handle this on my own. Shouldn't you be planning your wedding? It's only three days from now," I said bitterly. Something flashed in his eyes, but I didn't quite catch it. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided not to. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go home."

"Oh no you don't!" he shouted, grabbing firmly onto my arm.

"Just. Leave. Me. Alone!" I said as I tried to shake off his hand. Then, suddenly, all the anger that had accumulated over the years came flooding back, and I did the thing I always do. I exploded. "You just won't let go, huh? Well, if you really want to know, then I'll tell you. I thought that when you left, it was the worst thing that could ever happen to me, but now that you're back, I realize that it's even worse. You ruined it, you know that? You ruined my perfect marriage! We were having a great time until you came along. You ditched me in college, and now, after 20 years, you think you could just come back and pretend that everything was the way it was? We're talking about a divorce Tai. A divorce. Sora thinks I'm spending too much time with you. Remember my wedding, Tai? Remember how horribly you ruined it for me? It's supposed to be a man's happiest day. I should have taken a hint. Now you come and ruin my marriage too. You want the truth Tai? Well here it is. I was a fool to think that I was actually having fun with you for the past weeks. I was tricked too Tai. Now I know the truth. I hate you Yagami. I hate you for ruining my life 20 years back. I hate you for ruining it now. You know what, just get the hell out of my life!"

With that, I gave him a hard punch and ran away. I didn't want to stay to see what pain I inflicted on him, both mentally and physically. It hurt already just imagining how he feels this very second. I ran until my lungs gave out, and then stood panting. As soon as I calmed down, I was able to think about my actions. That was exactly my problem. I never think before I do something, but rather think about it afterwards and regret doing it. Which was exactly how I was feeling. Oh gosh Tai, please don't really believe what I said. It was just a bunch of lies, anger expressed in random words. That anger shouldn't even be directed to Tai. It should have been directed to me. It was all my fault. Good job, Ishida. You screwed it up big time. You'd be lucky if he ever even looks at you again. How could you give him so much pain? And you say you love him. I was thoroughly disgusted at myself.

-----Tai's POV-----

I sat there staring at him throughout his whole speech. I guess it all went in, I just didn't really believe it. Well, until he punched me--hard. It was then that my heart shattered, and it was then when everything he said stabbed me in the heart. It was then that I knew that he was telling the truth. How? "I didn't mean it Yama!" I wanted to scream after him, but I was too preoccupied by the growing pain in my heart. Really, I didn't mean to ruin his life. I let the tears roll down my cheeks. People were staring at me. What a funny sight it would have been, two 40 year olds fighting, then one of them crying his head off. If only it really was a joke. But it wasn't. He wants you out of his life. You heard him. I sat there crying and, after a long time, I finally got up. I started walking, going nowhere in particular. I started thinking, and I suddenly didn't know why I was being so sorry. I know how horrible a divorce is to Matt, having lived through one. That was no excuse to blame everything on me. It was his fault anyways. He was the one that wanted to become friends again. He was the one that broke my heart by marrying Sora. He was the one that brought me pain over these years. If he would just disappear, everything would be normal and I would already be wedded to Kotsuki and be living a happy life. I shouldn't be the one who's sorry, Matt should be.

I guess you could call it fate when, after an hour or so of walking, I ended up straying into a dark alley. It just so happened that Matt was also in that alley. I didn't recognize him at first. I saw a man scrunched up in the corner. He had his knees drawn up to his face. I was about to leave when I realized it was Matt. I guess it was the anger I was feeling at the moment that made me say it. I really didn't mean it, not the slightest bit, but it didn't matter because I said it anyways. "You know what Ishida, I hate you too. I'll leave your life, be sure of it. And don't bother coming to my wedding either," I said with a kind of bitterness I didn't even know I possessed. I heard something before that said the more you love someone, the more it's possible for you to hate that person. I guess it was true. He looked up with surprise, obviously not expecting me to find him. I was pretty surprised myself. Then something flickered in his eyes. The alleyway was dark, but the look was unmistakable. It was the look of hurt, of pain. I blinked, and the look on his face was replaced with a death glare.

"Fine!" he spat out, but to my surprise he put his head back next to his knees and started rocking, as if crying. "Go away!" he screamed, trying to keep his voice stern. But I knew. After all, I loved him. How could I not recognize the sorrow in his voice? Of course at that moment I was too blind with anger to say anything, so I walked away, leaving him there in the alley. I thought back to what happened that morning.

flashback

"Good morning Tai-chan," Kotsuki said, planting light kisses on my face.

"Morning Kotsuki," I sighed, feeling miserable. I couldn't block out the feelings I had for Matt. I needed a break, some time to sort out my feelings.

"Just think Tai, three more days," Kotsuki grinned, and I my stomach immediately tightened. He was right. Just three more days...

"Kotsuki, I can't." He stared at me, shocked. I didn't want to do this to him, but it had to be done. "It's too soon. I need some time to think it over. TK just called you my husband so that I wouldn't be the only one who wasn't married. I'm sorry Kotsuki. It's way too soon."

"But Tai, you agreed on the wedding date. You agreed! I asked you and you said 'yes'!" Kotsuki said desperately. "Tai, don't do this. You don't know what you're saying."

"Kotsuki, I'm so sorry. It's just that the day you told me, you were so happy that I didn't want to burst your bubble. And I thought since we were getting married anyways, it didn't really matter what day it'd be. But now I realize that it's not that simple, that it's just too soon. I can't do it Kotsuki, I just can't. I need a break from all this. Please Kotsuki?" I begged him.

"You still love Motawa, don't you?" he sniffed. "What else could make this 'not that simple'? Tell me Tai."

"No, not that! I'm just not ready."

"Tai, we're 40 years old! Most people are parents to middle schoolers at this age! How long do you want to wait?"

"Just a couple of months. That's all I'm asking. Just give me a few months. Kotsuki..."

"Fine." With that, he stomped out the door. I know it hurt him a lot, but I really needed to think things over. Matt... Once I find out about what's troubling him, I'll tell him. I'll tell him about what just happened. He'd be happy, I know it. I eagerly picked up the phone and dialed his number.

end of flashback

What I did this morning was a big mistake. Now Matt hates me. Gosh, it hurts so much. How could he say such a thing to me? I touched my face and found that I had started to cry again. Why can't I just stop crying and forget about him? Well, if he wants me to leave, I will. I took out my cell phone and dialed Kotsuki's number.

"Hello?"

"Hello Kotsuki. I'm done thinking. I've made up my mind. It's time to leave Tokyo. We'll have our wedding as planned."

"Seriously Tai?" his hopeful voice came over the phone line.

"Positive," I said, biting my lips to keep my voice from cracking. "Let's pack up our stuff and go to the train station. I'll meet you at the hotel."

I couldn't believe how fast it happened. I went back to the hotel, packed, and now Kotsuki, Suto, the digimon, and me were sitting in the train station. The next train would come in 20 minutes.

"Tai-chan, are you sure you're feeling alright?" Kotsuki asked me. This was probably the tenth time he had asked me today. I don't blame him, he ought to be suspicious for my rash decision.

"Yeah. I think Odaiba is making me sick. Anyways, it doesn't hamper our wedding because we planned for it to take place in your hometown in Matsumoto. After all, it's about time I visited your place. I already called my parents to let them know that I'm leaving."

"And your friends?" Kotsuki asked. I turned away. I didn't want to be reminded of what happened today. I didn't want to think about Matt. I didn't need it. "Forget I even asked you that," he sighed. "Tai, if anything's bothering you, you know you could tell me. We could deal with it together, like a family. Remember, I love you koi."

I nodded numbly. I was again pulled back to the events of this dreadful day. What if Matt thinks that I'm a coward who is just trying to run away? What if he needs me right now, but I'm just leaving him? Wouldn't he be madder at me? No, he said that he wanted me to leave, so I'm doing him a favor, right? So why do I feel so bad, like it's not right?

"Tai! Tai! Tai! It's time," Kotsuki said, shaking me gently. "Are you sure you're alright?" I nodded weakly, and together, we all boarded the train. I looked back one last time, knowing that deep down all I wanted was to see those familiar blue eyes appear from the crowd, to run back to him and apologize for everything. And the funny thing was that for a second I thought I really did see those eyes.

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Have you guys hear of the expression about how the more you love someone, the more possible to hate that person? I swear I heard it somewhere... Anyways, review and go read next chapter.