Author's Note:

So here we are at the third night. It's been a lot of fun to write this. I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you to all who read and reviewed!

Chapter #5

I opened my eyes and for the first time wasn't surprised by my surroundings, I was starting to get used to the arrangement. I mean, I was tough, I could get through this. Nothing was going to bring my mood down.

Nothing except the scene that awaited me outside my door.

Theoden and Achilles were playing a game that involved strangling each other and seeing who would die first. From the abnormal color on each of their faces and the weird grunting noises they were making I was guessing they were both going to loose.

Enjoras and Eponine were arguing loudly. Of course for those two arguing, like all other forms of communicating, was being done through song. From the malevolent glares on Denethor and Hector's faces Enjoras and Eponine would not be arguing for long.

Aragorn and Harry Potter were both fighting over "who would die in the worst way trying to save someone else". Sparred on by the idea of her beloved dying Arwen was trying to tie a perfect noose, (and for elves doing something perfect wasn't exactly a challenge).

"Good morning," Javert sang at me, "we have been waiting for you to wake up! I had an idea about where we should go today."

"Where," I said in a resigned voice, "do you think we should go?"

"Either to where Jean Val-Jean is hiding or to a very tall bridge I could leap from." I smacked myself in the head. I should have known better then to wake up this morning.

"Sounds fun," Denethor interrupted.

"Wrong it is not fun," I yelled, "everybody stop what you're doing!" The room froze. "Let's go over this again, killing yourself is bad. Dying in anyway is bad. It is a bad thing that should be avoided."

I looked around and noticed something odd. I was the only one moving. The ten people before me had stopped breathing and were all turning blue from holding their breath.

"Damn it, BREATHE!" There was a whoosh of air as everyone took a deep breath.

"But you said to stop what we were doing," whined Harry Potter.

"Never stop breathing," I shouted, "never!"

"By the gods," Achilles said calmly massaging his throat, "there's no need to get so upset."

"You-" I began but a loud ding from the downstairs interrupted me.

"That's the oven," Denethor cried excitedly rushing towards the sound.

"Hey," Hector said chasing after him, "that's my pancake cooking so don't you set fire to it!" I smacked myself in the head and walked away to figure out where I should take the group that day. Looking at the list my eyes fell upon the words, Ice Skating.

--

"Why do we want to put knives to our feet?"

"We do it to slice our feet open and cause pain," Achilles answered Eponine excitedly. The rest of them murmured and picked up the skates quickly.

"That is not what they're for," I yelled pulling the skates away from Achilles, "they go on the other way. Like shoes." Achilles and Hector gave me the oddest looks and I smacked myself in the forehead. "Like sandals for those of you who don't know what shoes are."

"Ahh," Hector sighed slipping one of his skates on, "quite ingenious."

"Uh," I managed without laughing, "sure."

"I can't believe you have never heard of shoes," Denethor taunted, "you are so uncivilized."

"You have insulted my honor," Achilles shouted seeming to swell with anger, "I challenge you to a duel to the death with my bladed shoe." He grabbed his skates back from me and pointed them at Denethor.

"I accept," Denethor said holding his skates up as well.

"Enough," I screeched grabbing the skates from them and forcing them to sit, "everyone sit down while I put your skates on."

"I can not live," Arwen screamed and I sighed.

"Aragorn is fine Arwen he's sitting next to you."

"No he's not," Arwen sniffed. I looked around wildly to see that, sure enough, Aragorn had wandered off.

I did not have to look far at all to find him however. It's not as if there were many other men in grimy cloths slipping and sliding across the ice in an attempt to get run over by the zambonie. With a yelp I ran onto the ice to intercept him before he was squished by the giant machine.

Unfortunately I had forgotten that, like Aragorn, I was not wearing skates. The two of us had a quick yet brutal wrestling match on the slippery surface. With a heave I shoved Aragorn and he fell through the door and back onto the solid ground. Unfortunately I was still in the path of the zambonie bearing down on me. With a grunt I pulled myself out of it's way.

And then it swung around and tried to hit me again. Shocked I looked over and saw that no one was driving it. Looking back over at my ten charges I saw Theoden with Harry Potter's wand. He was waving it at the zambonie. Harry Potter was jumping around trying to retrieve his stolen wand.

I crawled off the ice and stomped over to Theoden. He quickly gave the wand back to Harry Potter.

"He did it," Theoden accused.

"No I didn't," Harry Potter protested.

"Yes you did," Theoden continued, "I saw you. You were mad at her for thwarting all of our attempts to die so you tried to kill. What a brilliant plan, you were quite smart for thinking of it. But still very wrong. You should be punished."

"Theoden," I said calmly not yelling, "why did you try to kill me?"

"I didn't," he protested.

"Yes you did," I was now yelling, "I saw you."

"Well you never let us have any fun," he whined.

"Dying is not fun," I said for the ten thousandth-millionth-kazillionoth time, "dying is bad. Theoden sit here, you are in TIME OUT." Theoden sat down, sulking all the way. "Aragorn, you too."

"I don't want to live without him," Arwen cried mournfully. I smacked myself in the head.

"Fine," I snapped, "then you can go in TIME OUT as well."

"Okay," she sighed sitting down next to her beloved.

"As for everyone else," I turned on the group, "put your skates on correctly and then you can go out there and have fun that does not have anything to do with violence."

Nobody cheered for me or my speech, on the contrary they all looked a little sad. But they did as I'd asked and put the skates on their feet, (the right way), and then stepped onto the ice.

And then they each fell.

Javert went down first, Enjoras tripped over him almost at once. Harry Potter rushed to "save them". In his haste to help people Harry Potter knocked Denethor over. The Steward of Gondor fell on his back, his feet flying out from under him and his arms flailing hopelessly. He took out both Hector and Eponine. Eponine began to sing about how she was cold and alone. Moaning in pain Achilles sunk down to his knees and cowered on the ground.

I smacked myself hard in the head. This had not been a smart decision. I could just tell that this was going to be a long day.

And it was. After four excruciating hours of literally playing referee to eight out of control skaters and two benched love birds I was more then ready to call it a day.