Spoilers for Eternal Punishment

Ulala Serizawa (p2) 30/11


"Maya, I don't know how you can say that you forgive me, when I don't even know how to forgive myself.

I tried to kill you. And it wasn't because I was charmed in battle. That was accidental, and this was a deliberate contract. I called him.

And I could say I was drunk, or didn't believe in it, but those would all be excuses. And nothing should excuse the fact that even if it was only for the briefest of moments, I wanted you dead. Because I was jealous. I feel inferior compared to you. You are amazing. And I try to be.

I was jealous of the way you have your life together, and I do not. I'm an absolute mess of a person. I would get upset if you hired an assassin to kill me Maya. I wouldn't forgive it easily like you seemed to have.

You saved me, and I wouldn't have blamed you if you had left me for dead. Or cut me out of your life after. You could have Katsuya move in, he would probably be pretty good at cleaning too, and you wouldn't have to worry.

Maybe you are mad and not letting me know, Hell maybe you are not even letting yourself know. That seems very you, to just tuck it aside and let it eat at you from within. There's a lot of me that would rather have you be angry at me.

Just get angry now, so I can face it rather than wait for it. I'll probably cry, but then it will be dealt with. I'll have faced the fallout.

So tell me, how did you forgive me?"