You weren't supposed to die.

You were supposed to be with us, celebrating our win over Apocalypse. You were supposed to be enjoying our win, and not lying in a coffin, being lowered into the earth.

I had never thought that you would die. You were a Goddess. Goddess never die. It was all in recorded in history. I knew that. I was very good in history. I was the top pupil of your class.

I always answered every question in your class. I did that to make you happy. You rarely smiled, but when you did, it could really brighten up the whole room. But I suppose I did it out guilt too. I had seen you crying late in the night, when you thought everybody was asleep. But you didn't know that I wasn't, I would always wake up late in the night and hear you crying. Tiny, suppressed sobs. Dr. Jean's death had hit us all, but it hit you the hardest. She was like a sister to you. When we felt sad, we could always come to you. You were like a harbor; you could shelter us from the elements and make us feel warm. But you couldn't turn to anyone when you needed help, you had to be strong for us. Many times I had wanted to comfort you when you were crying, but something always stopped me. I would always make excuses and think: Not today. Next time, maybe next time.

I should have consoled you, like the countless times you did to me. I could have helped you through your lonely night, but I was a coward, I choose to listen to your sobs but not do anything about it. I would have gone into your room to console you if I was given the ability to travel back in time and go through it one more time.

I should have, could have, would have…

Should have, could have, would have…

But now it is all too late. You are gone. Forever. I will never see you again.

I will never get to be in one of your history classes again. I will never see your smile again. I will never get to see you in your greenhouse, delicately caring for your plants. I will never get to talk to you again.

I had lost my favourite teacher. I had lost my mentor. I had lost a great friend. But what I regretted most was…

I never got the chance, the courage, to tell you that, you were more than a mentor to me, you were like my…

Mother

I miss you,

Katherine (Kitty) Pryde