Fabulously and gregariously Fred and George

A/N: Dedicated to tiedye, simply because it's the way the world works.

Disclaimer: Do I look like the fabulous J.K. Rowling? Yep, I don't.

Chapter 1: And… in struts the pretentious git

"Harry, whaddya reckon's gonna happen if Fred and George turn up at Hogwarts again?" Ron asked, staring dreamily at his pudding. Unaware of his actions, he stuck his elbow into the yellow substance while his fellow Gryffindors shot him strange and bewildered looks.

Harry opened his mouth to respond but Hermione cut him off, saying, "Ron, why don't you take your elbow OUT of the pudding and your spoon IN, and maybe we'll discuss Fred and George's antics with you. Good deal? I thought so too."

She shot Harry a glance and, upon seeing his flapping jaw, reached across the table and slapped him on the face gently. All in no time, Hermione found herself on the receiving ends of one of his rare green-eyed glares.

"Hohoho, m'dear Miss Granger! How are you? Good, wonderful!" a voice resounded behind Hermione, followed by a hand on her shoulder.

"Aarrghh!" the poor girl screamed, leaping out of her seat immediately. She abruptly whirled around to face Professor Slughorn, only to find herself looking at two identical faces. A furious expression quickly masked Hermione's shell-shocked face. In an instant, she grabbed the Weasley twins by their collars and bashed their foreheads against one another.

"Ow!"

"Ow!"

"Stop it…"

"…Hermione!"

Hermione released them and sat back down, purposely ignoring the blatant stares she received from her peers.

Showing a great deal of remorse, Fred and George rubbed their foreheads and placed a hand each on Hermione's shoulders, causing her to roll her eyes. In the other hand, they held a broomstick each. The Hogwarts' population figured that the former Beaters had flown here. Truth be told, some of them weren't too bright.

"Hermione, we thought it'd be nice for you to…" Fred began, winking at his twin.

"…perhaps lighten up a bit." George finished.

"Well? How does that sound?" the two of them concluded.

If looks could kill, Fred and George Weasley would have been non-existent by then, courtesy of Hermione's death-glare. In this respect, she was quite different to Harry.

"Lighten up? How exactly do you recommend I lighten up?" she asked, her voice sickly sweet.

Ron sniggered in the background, muttering something beneath his breath that sounded remarkably like, "Stop being so uptight. Duh."

And that would've been another non-existent member of the Weasley family.

To avoid further bursts of outrage from Hermione, Fred and George placed a silencing charm on her and dragged the unwilling girl to the corridor, preferring to keep the spell on for fear of being mortally wounded.

"Hermione, look."

"Fred here, and myself of course, have managed to create a product…"

"…that allows you to mimic someone else's voice!"

"And then, we were thinking…"

At this point of the one-sided conversation, the two redheads shot not-so-discreet-evil-grins at one another.

"…you could use it on…"

"Ron!" Fred and George concluded, waving their arms about.

"Well, whaddya reckon?" Fred asked.

Hermione's mouth moved, but no sound was produced. The boys quickly realised that they had forgotten to remove the spell, and did so hurriedly.

"Stop saying that! What is with you Weasleys and that phrase? Can't you afford to use something a bit more grammatically correct?" Hermione finally exploded, hands set firmly on her hips.

Unprepared for this little speech of Hermione's, George scratched his head and frowned worriedly.

"Uh, Hermione, do you want it?" Fred asked.

After a second's deliberation, Hermione excitedly agreed to the offer.

"What's it called though?"

To which the Weasley twins promptly chorused, "The Mimicphone."

They handed her the said product and, saluting smartly, got on their broomsticks and flew away from Hogwarts, leaving an extremely bewildered witch staring at her palm whilst shaking her head.

As Hermione walked into the Great Hall, looking forward to a dinner with no further interruptions, she decided to try out her new gadget on the next unsuspecting student of Hogwarts. Unfortunately for her, though, Draco Malfoy had just walked round the corner. Hermione's mind immediately flew to Pansy Parkinson, the Girl-With-Pug-Features, who had been sighted hanging off Malfoy's arm constantly.

Hermione crept up to Malfoy and, with the help of the Mimicphone, managed to whisper deviously in Parkinson's voice, "Drakie?"

To say that Malfoy was surprised was the understatement of the year. He had pretty much leapt out of his skin! Luckily for Hermione, though, she had managed to escape from Malfoy quickly enough.

Laughing silently to herself, Hermione walked into the Great Hall, her Mimicphone safe within the confines of her pocket, thinking, "Serves the pretentious git right!"

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