a/n: After a long period of laziness, I eventually found the initiative to finish something. Although, right now, this chapter doesn't seem so funny... but you might... I realised last chapter was a bit of a... mess, and wasn't written quite well... hopefully, this one is better, if only marginally... Also, some of the symbols were relunctant to appear when I was editing this, soexcuse the commas, question marks and exclamation marks.

Disclaimer: I wonder, if I owned Gundam SEED/Destiny, would I be writing this?


Athrun and the Distorted Apple

"Part of being an elite pilot is to take care of your health, as it is absolutely vital that you keep yourself in top condition to allow for the best results to take action. Nobody can afford to be feeling unwell during such dire circumstances, which is why we are going to revise some nutrition facts today during our spare time."

With all the lethargic activity going aboard the Minerva lately, Talia Gladys, Captain of the Minerva, proposed that the military staff onboard revise the importance of health with the crew, especially the pilots. However, nobody except Athrun Zala was willing to perform the task, as they too were feeling rather lazy. So, as a result, Athrun was revising with some of the younger members on board, which consisted of Shinn, Lunamaria, Meyrin, Vino and Youlan. Rey had been excused from the lesson.

"Firstly, I would like to express the importance of staying alert, especially after tiring work or sleep. It's not acceptable for anybody to be drowsy, as this can result in major problems at crucial times. Coffee is an extremely common method that we use to keep ourselves awake, although if one takes note, it contains caffeine which is not beneficial to your health when consumed in high amounts. That goes for you too, Shinn."

Jerking at the sudden mention of his name, Shinn awoke from his daze, shamefully hiding the large can of coffee underneath his desk. Shinn was constantly seen guzzling coffee in the cafeteria during his meals, be it breakfast or dinner. Sometimes he drank so much, one would wonder whether he was related to Andrew Waltfield or not.

"Although it is not common knowledge, apples are actually much more efficient in waking you up, and are by far healthier, as it contains many of the nutrients our body requires, including fibre and protein. As I'm sure you've heard, 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away'."

Too bad being a Coordinator doesn't come with 'daily nutrients'…, thought Vino. Beside him, Youlan yawned loudly, not bothering to stifle it at all. Meyrin, thinking that his actions were inappropriate, turned around and hissed, "Youlan! Athrun-sama is sacrificing his free time to lecture us about staying healthy! Show some respect!"

"Jeez, ok, I was just tired, alright?" replied Youlan.

"This is exactly what I'm talking about," continued Athrun. "I understand that you may feel lethargic due to lack of sleep if there is insufficient time, but we have not had to work for the past fortnight, so there is no excuse. If you needed to catch up on sleep, you would've had plenty of time to do so already."

"See? Listening to Athrun-sama could really help you!" scolded Meyrin.

"Yeah. Help us waste our free time…" muttered Shinn.

Snickering, Vino added, "Just because you like Athrun, Meyrin…"

"I do not! Athrun is just a very respectable soldier of ZAFT!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Shut up!"

And with that, Meyrin turned around to face the front, face red from blushing.

"Say, why isn't Rey here?" questioned Athrun.

"Heh. He probably got tired of your constant rants and slept in instead," replied Shinn with a cocky smirk on his face.

"Shinn!" glared Meyrin.

"Actually, I heard he was specifically requested to perform a task for Chairman Dullindal," answered Lunamaria.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, it's supposedly taking place in the Chairman's room," continued Lunamaria.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…What?" inquired Athrun, just a speechless as the rest.

"It's supposedly taking place in the Chairman's room," repeated Luna.

"Well, now that you mention it, I did hear a few noises coming from there not long before I came in here…" added Vino, a sly expression forming on his face.

"Mm, yeah. Rey said that there was something important that he had to attend to first thing in the morning, and you know how early he wakes up," contributed Shinn.

"You just wake up late, Shinn."

"What, 's not as if you don't sleep in like a log, Meyrin!"

"Anyway, I think Rey mentioned something about it having to do with Chairman Dullindal's bed," included Lunamaria, shaking her head at the dispute between Shinn and her sister.

"Hn… how… strange…" commented Athrun. "Usually they wouldn't bother to ask the main crew to perform such a task…"

"Well, it was specifically requested by Chairman Dullindal, so I guess there was a reason for it," said Lunamaria, shrugging her shoulder.

"Guess it's his call. Now, back to the lesson. Would anyone care to give me a recap of the first topic?" asked Athrun, motioning towards the others.

Quick to raise her hand, Meyrin answered accurately once she was given the ok, "The importance of staying alert during all times when awake."

As if to reward her, Athrun directed a smile towards her and replied, "That's right, Meyrin." Blushing hard at his compliment, Meyrin looked down to hide the colour rising in her cheeks. "What is the most common method that is used to resolve this problem, Shinn?"

Grumbling profanities under his breath, Shinn retorted, "Coffee," before guzzling the remainder of the coffee that he hid under his desk.

"Correct," was Athrun's answer, although his face displayed disapproval, mainly due to the fact the Shinn made no effort to stop drinking his coffee at an alarming rate. Turning around to face the whiteboard, Athrun drew a simple picture of a coffee can, clearly labelled with the word 'COFFEE'. "And what is one of the healthier alternatives to coffee?"

"Apple."

Athrun didn't even need to turn around to recognise that cocky voice. No doubt, it belonged to Shinn. Sighing inwardly, he proceeded to draw an apple on the board, the marker squeaking noisily as he did. After adding a few notes to the board, he stepped to the side, and instructed, "Now, copy down these notes and diagrams as proo--…"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Annoyed at the interruption, Athrun demanded, "Shinn Asuka, what do you find so hilarious?"

"Is that supposed to be an apple? It looks like you drew someone's ass!"

And sure enough, if one took the time to discriminate, it looked more like some one's rear end more than a juicy apple. Now that the rest of the group was aware of this perspective, Vino and Youlan joined in Shinn's hearty laughter, while Lunamaria was trying to stifle her giggles. Who knew the infamous Athrun Zala was so horrible at art? Meyrin, who attempted to keep a straight face, soon found herself giggling as well.

Enraged at their reactions, Athrun stormed out of the room to contact the Captain of the Minerva, Talia Gladys. He was going to have them punished, if anything.

"Captain Gladys, ma'am."

"At ease, Athrun. What's the problem?"

"During the lesson you asked me to teach, the others began to mock my drawing of an apple!"

"Mock your drawing? Lead me to the classroom."

"Ma'am!"

Upon arriving at the destination, Captain Talia Gladys heard endless fits of laughter, and occasionally, a few snorts. Raising her voice to address the situation, she began, "Alright, cease your laughter now and -- WHO DREW AN ASS ON THE WHITEBOARD?" Her original phrase changed as she saw the rather image of buttocks, enraged at such vandalism. This only caused the pilots and mechanics to laugh harder, faces red with amusement. Concluding that his 'picture' really did look like a bum, Athrun sighed again.

He was going to have to take some art lessons.


a/n: So how was it...? If it wasn't good, tell me, 'cause I didn't feel it was that great. Reveiws were and still are appreciated.