A/N: I wrote this chapter over a year ago. It's unfinished, but I decided to post it anyway. I hope it's obvious I quit this story. ( sorry.

This chapter is.…odd.

Chappie 6 ! Pino Kio's Revenge

"I amar prestar aen… the world is changed…" whispered some mysterious narrator from the movie (a.k.a. Galadriel).

James looked up. "What the heck?"

"Han mathon ne nen… I feel it in the water…"

"Ok, mysterious lady person," said James. "Now you make no sense. First of all, how can you feel the world changing in the water? Is the water moving? Because we saw this one movie at Lily's where the water was moving but that was only because there was a giant lizard coming and every time the lizard thingy took a step the ground moved and that made the water in the puddle move and then there was this one guy going to the bathroom and the giant lizard ate the guy and… hmm… I don't think he ever finished going to the bathroom and…" he just kept talking.

Meanwhile, the others were also watching oblivious to the fact that Prongs was even saying anything at all.

"Han mathon ne chae… I feel it in the earth… a han noston ned 'wilith… I smell it in the air…"

Prongs glared at the screen and said, "Would you STOP talking already lady? I can't hear the movie!"

"You're still a muggle!" piped up Erin. "That's the MOVIE, stupid-head!"

"YOU'RE the stupid-head!"

"You!"

"You!"

"SHUT UP!" said everyone else in the theater.

"You shut up!" shouted Sirius, defending his two friends, who were now arm-wrestling to settle the shouting match. Erin was winning.

"That is IT!" The entire theater turned to see who had shouted, when an usher came walking down the middle of the largest isle. It took them a few seconds of blinking in order to comprehend that the usher was wearing a Ringwraith cloak. The only way they could tell he was an usher was because of the glow-stick thing he was holding in his hand… and the fact that Ringwraiths could only enter public facilities with a Wraith-warrant. And the only recorded guy with a WW was currently in a facility for the insane.

"Who dares disrupt the greatest movie of all time!" he demanded. "This movie here happens to be the 33rd time I've ever seen it, and 33 was the age of Frodo Baggins of the Shire when Bilbo departed, hence the beginning of the great journey! 33 is a sacred number! NO ONE SHALL DESTROY THE SACREDNESS OF THE SACRED NUMBER WHILST WATCHING THE SACRED MOVIE!" He pulled out a plastic sword. "Now, WHO had disrupted the mighty sacredness! WHO!"

It took all of the audience's self-control they had in order for them to keep a straight face. One poor muggle however, Pino Kio, an immigrant from China, could not understand English and was openly laughing at the usher. He didn't even know this was a movie theater; he thought it was an opera house. Pino also thought he was watching a comedy and this was all part of the show. How wrong the poor Pino Kio was.

"That's it, Mr. Funny-Man, you're 'outta here!" The usher took the plastic kid's toy and hit Pino on the head with it. Pino, very offended, lit a firework and threw it at the usher. Sparks of red and gold flew everywhere.

"Hooray!" shouted the Marauders. "He's a Gryffindor!"

Meanwhile, some of the seats caught fire. No one noticed.

Now that his costume was ruined, all were able to see the mysterious usher's nametag. His name was Don Ki. He was also a Chinese immigrant, but could speak English. After getting a good look at the other man, he gasped.

"So, you have decided to follow me, Pino." He said in a would-be evil voice. "You know that you shall never win."

The audience blinked.

Pino said something in Chinese. It meant, "I know of your little plan, Don. You shall never capture the marshmallow land!"

Sirius gasped. "Not the marshmallow land!"

"Blabooshkamoongo!" Erin randomly said. No one heard her.

"You speak Chinese?" asked Lily, slightly interested in what Sirius was talking about for once.

"Of course! All of us Blacks must learn the language. It is a family necessity. How else could we have made our fortunes? We Blacks have invested in Filibuster Fireworks –which originated in China- for generations. My great great great great great great great great great great-,"

"Anyone else smell smoke?" asked Erin.

Everyone ignored her, for they were rooting for Pino Kio, even if they didn't know what he was talking about. For all they knew, Don Ki started it.

"Give it up, Pino," said Don. "I know of your true identity."

"You wouldn't dare," replied Pino, with fear in his eyes.

"I know…," said Don, "that you used to be…"

"Noooooo!"

"….a puppet."

That was it. Pino Kio was defeated. Well, kind of. All he did from then on was sit on the floor in a fetal position rocking back and forth, and saying over and over again, "I'm a real boy… I'm a real boy…"

Don Ki raised his arms in victory. "And that's my cue to exit," he said, while putting what remained of his Ringwraith cloak on his head. It was about the size of a cookie. He walked through the smoke and into a wall, glared at everyone, then marched out of the room. Everyone stared at him. Then they finally realized that smokefire. They looked around to see that it was coming from a particularly large group of seats. THAT'S when the pandemonium began.

"Run!" shouted Remus, who was trying to pull Sirius onto his feet. Padfoot was oblivious to everything that had happened because he was still saying,

"-great great great great great great great great uncle was partners with Dr. Foo Filibuster himself! Foo died a mysterious death, so my great great great great great great-,"

All the muggles had already run out of the theater. For some odd reason there were no sprinklers in the facility so the flames continued to grow. Stupid movie theater.

The only ones left were the teens and a 3 year-old who were all trying to get Sirius to shut up and get out of the theater. Then they all just gave up and did that whole "I'll take an arm!" "Take the other leg!" thing and carried Padfoot out of the large room instead. Erin was too short and just hung there.

"Weeeeeeeee!" she said gleefully.

Soon the group was safely out in the hallway.

"-great great great great great great great great great great uncle then inherited the business, but then he died too and decided to sell it. But he was really a ghost and ghosts were highly discriminated against way back then, so he put all the money in the bank and now it's all richy and stuff and and and…."

"James….," whispered Lily, who was unwillingly holding one of Sirius's feet, suspicion in her eyes.

Prongs (who was carrying the other foot) in turn raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Yes, my Lillykins?"

"You didn't happen to accidently attack Sirius with a Gibbering Jinx, have you? I've seen you do wandless magic on purpose before and for one, I-"

James cut her off while looking at her in horror. "Wha-? NO! I cannot believe you don't trust me. After all we've been through together, you just ASSUME that before the summer holidays I cast a Gibbering Jinx on a piece of candy and then brought some along with me when we went to the muggle-theater and slipped the candy into Sirius's drink! What ever gave you the idea that I would do something like that!"

Lily blinked. "You put spells on CANDY of all things?" and then she added, "And what do you mean 'after all we've been through together'? We aren't even going out!"

"I…," said James dramatically, "I don't know you anymore, Lillian Evans! Goodbye! I am off to join the dark side!"

The Marauders gasped.

"Not V-V-V-V-Vol-V-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" gasped Peter, sounding awfully like Porky-Pig.

"No, I'm that stupid, stupid! I meant him!" said Prongs, pointing to Don-Ki, who was now attacking the manager of the theater with the plastic sword. Apparently, he was fired for waltzing out of a burning theater without telling anyone that it was on fire, and then stopping to snag himself some popcorn like nothing was happening.

"Wha-?" said Don, ceasing the attack.

"C'mon!" said James, grabbing Don's arm. "We are going to our sacred lair of evilness where we shall devise our evil plots!" And so James led him into the bathroom that they had been in less than a half-hour ago.

"Surely the weirdoes either left or are watching the movie by now, whoever they are!" Fred thought happily to himself as he once again headed towards the bathroom.

"Alright," said James, pulling out a piece of paper, a marker, and some little green army men, "here's the plan, Donkey-Dude. I'm going to call you that from now on, okay?" He ignored Don Ki's protests. "Good. Now, I'm going to be positioned over here in the corner of the theater, and YOU (he-he, you're the little green guy with one leg right there, see? Woops, I just took the other leg off… well, we're just going to pretend you have no legs, kay?) will be over here behind where they sell the popcorn. I give you the signal, which is blowing up the crane machine with some of my Filibusters, then (woops, there goes your arm!) you crawl (since you have only one limb left) over to all the popcorn machines and, using your remaining arm, create the largest amount of popcorn ever!"

Don blinked, while James gave an evil laugh.

"-an amount so great, that the entire building will FILL with popcorn! Sound's great, huh?"

"Er… I don't think…."

"I know! It IS the greatest plan ever created by man, isn't it? No need to congradulate me, for I already know of my greatness."

"But-but-but…"

"No need to worry, I think I'm strong enough to carry you out of the building since you only have one (Oh, woops again, I mean none) of your limbs left. Hehehehehe… there's no win for Lily. Either she gets trapped inside the corn-filled theater, or she will be forced to eat her way out and become fat! The world will be ours, my limbless (and now headless) friend!"

Fred gave up and decided to go outside and find a porta-potty or tree instead.

"That's it," said Remus, walking over to the arcade and sitting behind the wheel of a car game. "Prongs has lost it, and I'm stuck here with a babbling moron, a clueless muggle with a hyperactive 3 year old, a stuttering idiot, and a girl with a personality like she's constantly menstral."

Lily walked over and was about to smack him when…

"Hello, all!"

Pino Kio was walking over to them, having obviously gotten over his nervous breakdown in the theater that was currently being put out by some number of firefighters.

"I couldn't help but notice your predicament, and the fact that we share a common enemy….the dreaded Don-Ki and his accomplice… whatever-his-name-was!"

Remus spoke up. "Actually, we don't really care about the usher, and James is going to come back in five minutes anyway because he can't concentrate on one thing for more than five minutes. We're just waiting here until he gets bored and comes back." He paused. "
And since when do you speak English anyway?"

"I have always been able to speak English. The less the enemy knows, the better."

"Okay…" said Lily, "well, here comes James, see? He's over there, and –JAMES POTTER, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING WITH THOSE FIREWORKS?"

BOOM!

Before anyone knew it, stuffed animals were flying everywhere, as countless muggles began to scream and run of the building and into the parking lot where their cars were parked. There, they saw Fred…doing something behind a tree and screamed again.

Back inside the now-deserted theater…..

James had been knocked unconscious by a stuffed rabbit (The eyes of stuffed animals freaking hurt!).

The explosion knocked Sirius out of his Gibbering Jinx.

Erin found 5 more teddy bears.

Lily was fuming.

Remus began dragging James over to their group.

Pino was hit over the head with a popcorn bucket by Don who, having made his move by diving behind the popcorn counter, could gain his attention.

"Alright, Pino. It is time for us to settle this once and for all." He turned on the popcorn machine. "HAHAHAHAHA! Once this theater fills with popcorn and blows up, everyone will blame you!"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why would everyone blame me? It makes no sense, really. And there are several witnesses here anyway who obviously don't like you. I don't exactly understand how I can get blamed."

Don blinked. "Quiet, you fiend! Once the theater blows up, there shall be no witnesses!"

"…Right."

"AHA! Look! It is already beginning to pop! Say goodbye to your freedom, you stinking puppet!"

However, he popcorn machine as it turned out, was not a very good one. One piece popped every five seconds. Don kicked it.

"C'mon, C'MON, you stupid machine! Ow! Don't you shoot your popcorn at me! Fill the theater! FILL THE THEATER!"

pop

"Ow!"

The teenagers sat down and watched the scene. Some with interest, some without. Erin had already slipped unseen to the counter and was now trying to catch the escaping popcorn in her mouth.

"I'm bored," said Sirius, watching Pino grab a bucket, put it on Don's head, and start hitting it with a spoon.

"Me too," complained Peter, watching Erin grab the popcorn that he wanted. He'd go over there too, but Donkey-dude scared him.

"Why did we come here again?" asked Remus, scratching his head.

"Because," began Prongs, "Lily's sister scares us, and the muggle-busdriver didn't like us, then Lily wanted to go shopping and we somehow ended up here." he paused. "I think."

Don Ki was laughing for the bucket was now on Pino who was now taking his turn getting hit with a spoon.

…..and this is as far as I'll ever get on this story. I've just recently decided I should give you this part of the chapter

before I delete it from my computer. Sorry. Wow this story is weird.