Interlude Omake - A Long-Awaited Comeuppance

In an almost untouched section of Tokyo-3, many a bystander was going about their day as usual, only to hear a rumbling in the distance. Wondering what was going on, the civilians got their answer as they saw a sight that had to be seen to be believed:

A large group made up of the near-entirety of the city's superwomen, chasing after a tiny old man in a martial arts outfit, who was carrying a rather large bag close to bursting with women's underwear (and, unbeknownst to him, the remains of Adam the First Angel).

What many hadn't realized was that the superwomen had been chasing this pint-sized panty-thief for what seemed like forever [or at least 10 omakes], the group growing larger in membership as each new addition found themselves the victims of the antics of the scourge known only as...Happosai. Yet no matter how close they got to nailing him, he somehow always slipped their grasp, either creeping them out as he nuzzled against their chests or surprising them with one of his patented 'fire burst' bombs. For now, the people watching a chase that could give the legendary rivalry of the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote a run for its money could only observe as chased and chasers passed them by, before resuming their activities without batting an eye. As for the pursuit, it continued undaunted, even with the brief respite that allowed one Shinji Ikari to 'get off the ride' to recover from the sheer exhaustion of it all. (Even the mighty Gladiator, for all his superhuman stamina, had to temporarily bow out so he could recover his strength.)

"Ahahahahahahahaha!" Happosai giddily laughed in the direction of his pursuers. "To riff on a classic fairy tale-run, run as fast as you beauties and cuties can! You can't catch me, I'm Grandmaster Happosai, man!" He then stuck his tongue out quickly a few times before following with "Meep-meep!" and speeding up further.

The group of superwomen slowed down, panting as they took a moment to catch their breath...and vent their utter frustration with the wild goose chase they'd been on for what seemed like ages.

"*RRRRRRGH* That geezer hentai's gonna make me bald by the time I catch up to him!" Asuka furiously growled as she pulled some of her flaming hair out, only for it to grow back seconds later as her rage increased.

"At this point, I might as well invent the world's most high-tech chastity belt-I'd probably make a killing selling them!" Mana added as she sat down with a slightly-defeated posture, removing the helmet from her armor as she did.

"What the hell's it gonna take to finally get this perv dead to rights?!" Kaede asked exasperatedly as she returned to her normal size.

"One thing's for sure-we're NOT using my malleable bust as bait again," Maya firmly stated before guzzling down some water from a sports bottle.

"Considering how well that went," Rei noted dryly, "I doubt anything else we could come up with will work."

It was true: the superwomen had tried out all sorts of plans and ideas in an attempt to deal with Happosai, only for them to backfire, sometimes spectacularly. Aside from the aforementioned honey trap Maya had reluctantly participated in, they'd also resorted to sending Happosai into certain parts of the universe to keep him contained. Aoi had shrunk him to the point where he would be stuck in the Microverse...only for him to reappear a few seconds later at full size, with a note stuck to him that read "NO TAKEBACKS!", signed by a Queen Jarella of the sub-atomic kingdom of K'ai. Maya managed to temporarily open a small portal into the Negative Zone and was about to toss Happosai in, only for its two resident warring leaders, Blastaar and Annihilus, to poke their heads out and warn her simultaneously, "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" before forcibly closing the portal on their end. Asuka had even literally sent the martial arts master to Hell, and indeed he seemed to stick around there for a lengthier amount of time...until a few minutes later, when he was literally kicked out by Mephisto, who directed some very pointed words towards Asuka over how his entire contingent of succubi had been subjected to Happosai's particular brand of sexual harassment. ("I may be a lord of hell, but even I won't tolerate such...disgusting behavior!")

"There's gotta be some way we can finally give him his well-deserved just desserts," Mari wondered as she slumped against her motorcycle.

"But how?" Hikari posed.

"How?" Mayumi echoed.

"HOW?" Aoi, Satsuki, Hitomi, and Maria echoed simultaneously. It was then that Ritsuko noticed Misato had a ponderous expression on her face.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Ritsuko asked her emerald-hued friend.

"It just hit me," Misato replied. "There's only one way we're going to beat Happosai once and for all, which means this calls for some drastically desperate measures." She then got out her cellphone and immediately dialed a number.

"What're you doing?" Ritsuko probed further, now beset by curiosity, a sentiment shared by the others.

"Employing a She-Hulk power I tend to use a lot in these omakes," Misato answered as she listened for the dial-tone. "Breaking the fourth wall." Soon an operator answered on the other line. "Yes, General Directory? I'm looking for the number of a certain person..."

Moments later, Happosai was at it again, bursting out of a department store with a mob of horrified female customers shouting after him as he made off with their lingerie, freshly-purloined. As he scampered away briskly from the block the store was on, he found his path obstructed by the superwomen, who surrounded him on all sides, pointed glares on each of their faces.

Happosai, on the other hand, remained undeterred. "Oh-ho-ho...back for more, ladies?" he amusedly posed with a lecherous grin. "Don't you worry your pretty little heads, there's plenty of this grandmaster to go around!"

None of the superwomen took the bait. "Sorry to disappoint you, you pervy pipsqueak," Misato started, "but you've had your fun-and now you've left us no choice." Her eyes narrowed as she finished with, "So get ready to meet your maker."

"Ooooh, I'm sooooo scared," Happosai teased back. "HA! Like any of you could actually do me in! I won't be heading up-or-downstairs anytime soon!"

Misato then shot the martial arts master a bit of a knowing grin. "Oh, I'm not talking about that maker..."

Happosai grew confused by that statement. "Hm?" Before he could say anything else, he suddenly was picked up by the back of his collar by a dark-haired, bespectacled woman in her sixties. She was wearing jeans, Inuyasha-print tennis shoes, an Urusei Yatsura t-shirt, and a look of disappointment on her face as she turned Happosai in her grip to face her. Happosai then looked our way, mortified upon realizing who this was, and how powerless he knew he was against her.

"So, this is where you ran off to for all this time," the woman said as she relieved Happosai of the bag full of his ill-gotten cottony, lacy gains and handed it to Misato. The woman then held Happosai outward and swung one leg backwards. "Back to the Rumic World with you, then." With that, the woman swiftly kicked Happosai in the rear, sending the screaming old grandmaster flying until, like in many a typical anime, a four-pointed 'twinkle' appeared in the spot where he was last seen, accompanied by a high-pitched 'ringing' sound.

As the woman dusted her hands off, the superwomen, looks of relief on their faces, bowed in reverence towards her. "Thanks, Takahashi-san!" they all said appreciatively.

"Everybody gets one," Rumiko Takahashi said as she flashed them a small victory sign in response, a small smile on her face. "Tell them, Spider-Woman."

The others looked, perplexedly, towards Ritsuko, who rubbed her head absentmindedly.

"Uh, apparently everybody gets one," she confirmed a bit sheepishly.

"Bingo," Takahashi affirmed.

**Author's Note(s)**

Pardon the interlude, but I felt that on Halloween, I should give out a bit of a treat.

One of the semi-recurring features of Orion's stories was the unexpected appearance of non-EVA characters in the omakes, be they Lupin's gang (who've also showed up in one of Mike's stories) or the chief 'dirty old man' character of Ranma 1/2. Happosai mainly appeared in the omakes from chapters 11 through 20 of 'Superwomen of EVA: Lilith's Herald', as his antics inadvertently put a growing group of Tokyo-3's superwomen on his tail. Since 'Earth's Mightiest, United' is a tribute to Orion's work, I figured I'd throw in a hypothetical 'stunning conclusion' to this omake saga. As for the Marvel elements that show up here:

-The Microverse historically first appeared (though unnamed) in 1943's Captain America Comics #26 by Ray Cummings and Syd Shores, but became more prominent in the years since as the home to such varied characters as the villains Psycho-Man and Psyklop, and the cast of characters from the Micronauts series licensed by Marvel from MEGO.

-K'ai, and its queen, Jarella, debuted in 1971's The Incredible Hulk #140 by Roy Thomas, Harlan Ellison, and Herb Trimpe. Jarella is considered perhaps one of the greatest love interests of the Hulk, accepting both the man and the monster without any catch.

-The Negative Zone debuted in 1966's Fantastic Four #51, while Blastaar first appeared in 1967's #62 and Annihilus debuted in 1968's Fantastic Four Annual #6, all three by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.

-Marvel's resident go-to devil, Mephisto, debuted in 1968's The Silver Surfer #3 by Stan Lee and John Buscema.

-She-Hulk's ability to break the fourth wall debuted in her second ongoing series The Sensational She-Hulk, primarily written and drawn by John Byrne and running from 1989 to 1994; the recent Disney+ She-Hulk: Attorney-at-Law streaming series gave us its live-action debut. Misato herself has employed this ability in the omakes for Orion's 'Superwomen of EVA: Emerald Fury'.

Fret not, True Believers! We'll return to our regularly scheduled story next week.

In Orion's words, I do not own Ranma 1/2 or anything associated with it. I have written this story solely because I enjoy writing.

And finally, on the topic of this interlude's last five lines-I, too, apparently watch too much TV, Mike.