A/N: XD another round of weirdishness…but this time, this time I'm adding in a friend who really wanted to be in the story…and I don't know how many of you are fans of naruto, but my friend candeh is…so I had to put in some naruto-ness. he-he and we'll also see a bit of Ashley, another friend of mine that likes naruto.
Disclaimer: I do not own star ocean, do not own naruto, I do not own any T.V. show, movie, game, book, or anything else for that matter….I don't even own candeh. 0o
The day dawned bright and sunny on most planets, but in the far reaches of space where sunlight did not reach, the intrepid space traveler was greeted by the interior lighting of the ship. And so it was for those aboard the Diplo.
Mirage was the first one awake. She entered the large control room and sat down to wait. She held Roger, who was still half-asleep in her arms. She was dressed in a brand new pink miniskirt and a very complicate blouse with lace and ribbons and glitter. Roger was wrapped up in a pale blue blanket and he was wearing a bright red t-shirt and green pants.
Fayt came in later and sat VERY close to Mirage. Mirage however, was not paying attention to him. She was too busy fussing over Roger so at last Fayt gave up in disappointment.
Cliff walked in at exactly 8 and looked around. He frowned as he noticed that Sophia was not there, and that Maria was. Sophia arrived a few seconds later with her hair done in delicate curls.
"Fayt, don't I look pretty?" she asked.
"Sure," said Fayt, although he was concentrating on Nel, who was lying on the floor reading a book of poetry.
Fayt carefully dropped to the floor and edged over to Nel. He looked at her over the top of her book. "Nel," he whispered.
Nel looked up and Fayt seized his chance: he kissed her.
Nel looked disgusted. "Withering scorn, this morning earned. A boy with young hormones. A tale interrupted by perchance. The maiden scorned him this early morn. While the young boy took chance. The dewy dame wished him all shame. And the boy ran off on his own."
Sophia looked heartbroken. "But Fayt, I thought you loved me."
Fayt shrugged. "I do, but have to go and experiment to see who the best is for me. And as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder."
Sophia sighed. "Well, alright, but please don't take too long checking out everyone else before you decide you love me more."
Adray was busy pacing the hallways muttering death threats about Clair. Mirage was happily cuddling Roger and gushing about his cuteness.
Cliff frowned. "Mirage, where did you get those clothes?"
"I went shopping of course." Mirage giggled and twirled in a circle, showing of her skirt.
"In the middle of space?" Cliff looked confused.
"Silly, you do know that there's online shopping, don't you? They just send the stuff directly to you through a teleporter. I've got one hooked up in my room."
Cliff frowned. "I can't believe what impatient women will do to get clothes. If I was in charge, everyone would dress in practical clothing, not these silly skirts."
"Blasphemy!" Mirage shrieked, carefully setting Roger down and then leaping at Cliff.
"Whoa, whoa...calm down. I didn't mean that I won't let you wear the skirt, it's just…owww! Not there!"
"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Adray cheered. "Beat her up, Cliff! Show that woman her place."
"You're next," Mirage snarled.
"On your marks, get set, go!" Maria shouted, firing her weapon across the control room.
The control panel sizzled and Cliff shouted, "Stop endangering the equipment!"
Maria frowned and examined her gun. "It's not aiming properly…oh…I know! Aiming device!"
"Stop that now!" Cliff roared as Maria's gun fired upon the control panel. Mirage threw herself to the ground to protect herself.
Suddenly there was a brilliant flash of light and the control room filled with smoke. As the smoke cleared, a coughing girl emerged withdark purple hair and a gray battle suit. She frowned as she looked over everyone. "Hey, this isn't Animecon! Where am I?"
"She looks eerily like Maria," Cliff muttered to Fayt. Out loud he said. "You're aboard the Diplo. I'm Cliff and you are…?"
The girl smiled brightly. "I'm Candeh, but I'm cosplaying as Major Motoko. Isn't she awesome?"
"Cosplaying," Cliff murmured. He slowly backed away and typed it into the computer's technical terms dictionary. "Ohhhh, you mean dressing up as someone else."
"Not just anybody!" The girl yelled. "Major Motoko is the coolest!"
Cliff tried to calm her down. He shot Maria a dirty look. "Nice going, you activated the fangirl button."
Cliff sighed. "Okay, since we don't know how to send you back, you might be here for awhile. I might as well introduce you to everyone. Everyone line up!"
Cliff began with Nel. "Okay, for starters, this is Nel. She really likes to-"
"Ew, it's Albel!" Candeh yelled, scrambling backwards from him.
Albel backed into a corner and hid behind a pile of boxes. "Don't hurt me, please."
Cliff looked surprised. "You know of us?"
"Yeah," Candeh said importantly. "On my world you guys are just videogame characters."
There was a collective gasp as everyone pondered this. "We're not real?" Maria asked tearfully.
"Yup. But people still like you anyway."
Candeh walked around the room looking at people and making faces at their strange behavior. "Oh, it's Roger!" Candeh cried. "You're not as cool as Deidara, but you'll do." She hugged him and Mirage glared at her fiercely.
Mirage snatched Roger away from Candeh. "He's my son. Don't you dare touch him!"
Candeh merely shrugged and walked over to a control panel. "Ooh, this looks pretty cool."
Cliff winced. "No, don't touch anything."
Candeh's brown eyes lit up excitedly. "You mean this thing can go just about anywhere?"
"What are you talking about?" Cliff growled.
Candeh happily slammed one of the buttons and the ship started to rock violently and then it came to a violent stop that sent everyone sliding into the walls.
"I'll be right back," Candeh informed everyone cheerfully. She stepped into the teleporter and was instantly outside of the ship hurtling towards the ground.
Albel pressed his face to a window. "Look at all those explosions and screaming people! She'll be killed out there!"
"Well, good riddance to her," Cliff muttered. "If she chooses to walk into war, that's her problem."
Candeh continued to walk through all the explosions and people screaming in pain and fear as she walked over a bridge.
"What's she doing?" Adray murmured, his face also pressed up against the glass.
Cliff scowled and turned his back on everyone. "It's her problem. I'm not getting involved."
"Hey, look, she found a gun...I think it's a gun anyway," Adray murmured doubtfully. "Come on, Candeh! Blow those bastards up!"
Mirage forcefully elbowed him in the side. "Poor little Roger! Don't use such evil words around him." She kissed Roger's forehead and cradled him in her arms.
There was a light tapping on the underside of the ship, since it was hovering gently a few feet above the ground. Adray switched on the teleporter and Candeh appeared back on the ship with a business-like look on her face.
"That was so awesome!" Maria said excitedly, shaking Candeh's hand with glee.
"What was?" said Candeh quizzically.
"You went through all those explosions and dying people and you're not hurt!"
Candeh made a dismissive sound. "This is GITSSAC. They're in the middle of a refugee revolution war." She paused and her eyes widened. "Wait a minute, this is section nine. I could meet the real Major Motoko. I have to go back!"
"No, almost dying once is enough for you," Cliff said sternly.
Candeh sighed sadly, but almost immediately an evil look came over her face. "I have another idea where to go."
Cliff started to protest but Candeh slammed the button with her outstretched hand and away they went.
Candeh happily patted her gun, an AK-47. "This baby can blow Sasuke to pieces." She grinned violently.
"Oh no you don't," Cliff growled. "There will be no killing here, unless it is absolutely a matter of life and death. Murder is not for pleasure. Put that gun away right now."
Candeh frowned and gently slipped the gun into her side belt. "Fine, I don't have to use it right now anyway."
Adray leaned over the control panel and looked out the window. "What kind of a planet is this?"
Cliff shoved him. "Out of the way! I need to drive!"
It was too late. The ship crashed into the earth, bounced once and skidded a few feet. The group was thrown against the walls.
The first to recover was Candeh. She leaped out of the ship wielding a long sword. "I shall kill you, sasuke!" she shouted.
Cliff got to his feet quickly. "Just because I said no guns doesn't mean you can use a sword!" he roared.
Candeh either did not hear or she chose to ignore him because she continued running at full speed, screaming death threats at Sasuke.
Cliff frowned. "Where did she get a sword anyway?" He glanced at the rest of the group until his gaze fell on Albel who was cowering nearby. He did not see Albel's sword.
"Albel," Cliff growled in frustration. "Why did you let her take your sword?"
Albel shivered with fear. "I couldn't help it. She was scary."
Cliff sighed heavily. "Fine, Albel, have it your way. Let's hurry and catch up to her before she does any real damage. Let's move out!"
Cliff and the group caught up with candeh a little later. She was excitedly looking at all the ninjas walking down the street a few feet away from her. She squealed with happiness. "Look, it's Neji! And Kiba! Ooh and Shikamaru! This is so awesome!"
"Talk about obsessed," Cliff muttered dryly.
Candeh's eyes burned with rage. "I see everyone but Sasuke. Where is that stupid sasuke?" She snarled.
A boy with black hair, black pants and a red jacket jumped out from behind the building. He carefully adjusted his ninja headband and tucked his i-pod further into his pocket. "Muahaha! It is I, Uchiha Sasuke!"
Candeh pushed him aside and continued walking closer to the street. "Nice try, Alex."
Alex looked crestfallen. "Aw, how did you…wait, never mind. It looks like this job will be harder than I thought."
Looking around carefully, he pulled a walkie-talkie out of his pocket and hissed. "It looks like we'll need dragons."
"Dragons?" Albel whimpered and clutched at his claw arm, rocking back and forth, filled with painful memories.
Candeh looked about searchingly. Then her eyes lit up again. "Aha! There he is. He can't hide from me. DIE, SASUKE, DIE!"
And with that, she charged down the hill towards a boy practicing throwing knives. "You die now, evil sasuke!"
"This girl is impossible to control," Cliff growled angrily.
Adray looked excited. "She's my kind of woman. Go, go! Kill him!"
Sasuke looked up in confusion at the girl charging towards him. He waited until she was very close and then dodged her attack and grabbed onto her wrist and twisted the sword away from him.
As Candeh struggled, he stared at her and asked in a monotone voice, "Who are you anyway? You're not a ninja."
Candeh grinned wickedly. "I'm your worst nightmare."
Sasuke looked slightly startled as candeh drew the AK-47 from her pocket. "What kind of weapon is that?"
At that moment a shadowy figure moved from behind a tree. Sasuke turned to look and his eyes narrowed. "Itachi!" he snarled.
Itachi merely stared at Sasuke as he stepped forward. "It looks like you're in trouble again, little brother. Are you going to let this girl kill you?"
"Stay out of this!" Sasuke snapped. "I'll have plenty of strength to defeat her and then kill you."
Itachi shrugged and continued to stare emotionlessly at Sasuke.
Candeh took the opportunity to kick Sasuke in the back of the legs while his back was turned and slash his back with her sword. Sasuke gasped and collapsed to the ground. Candeh laughed with victory and put her right leg on his chest as she pointed the gun at him. "Say your prayers," she growled.
"I don't think so," said another voice from behind the tree.
Still with her foot on Sasuke's stomach, Candeh turned to look.
A tall girl with long brown hair and fierce hazel eyes stepped out from behind the tree. An Akatsuki cloak was wrapped around her shoulders and she held a katana in her hands. Kisame appeared standing behind her.
"Who are you to interrupt me?" Candeh growled. "I was about to kill Sasuke."
"I won't let you," the girl said warningly. "Sasuke deserves to live." She smiled at Itachi who stared back at her impassively. "Don't worry, I won't let your baby brother be killed."
"Don't you dare talk to Itachi!" Candeh screamed. "Itachi is mine!"
The girl smirked. "Shall we fight over him then?"
"You'll lose of course. Sasuke deserves to die!"
"Very well." The girl smiled. "I, Ashley, challenge you to a duel. You may use that sword and I will use my katana. If I win, you must not kill Sasuke and you may not have Itachi. If I lose, you may kill both me and Sasuke and Itachi is yours to do whatever you please with."
Candeh snarled. "I'm ready when you are, loser."
Ashley smiled an easy, confident grin. "I was born ready."
A/N: So, folks, we're just about ready for the amusing conclusion of-
Candeh: Amusing! This is a matter of life and death!
Me: uhh..right. Anyway, the battle between fangirls will air sometime next week. Now is the time to place your bets on who you think will win! Will it be Ashley with the Akatsuki cloak or Candeh the cosplayer? Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion!
