A/N: Yes, this is the absolute last chapter in the naruto world…and no, Akatsuki capes are not magical…XD Ashley wishes they were…then she could use them to uhh...something…XD Anyway...you voted and…well…it didn't tell me a lot…so I got to do what I wanted to! Woo!

Disclaimer: I own nobody..star ocean and naruto aren't really real..except for Albel and Fayt in my head…and candeh and Ashley and Alex are real or at least so I've been told…XD

The two girls dropped into fighting positions, snarling. More Akatsuki members stepped out from behind the tree to watch. Suddenly a loud yell filled the area. "Sasuke!"

A panting blond ninja raced up and pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke. "Bastard! You stole that comic book from me! I know you did."

Sasuke sighed and looked bored. "Naruto, I'm a little occupied right now."

Naruto blinked, this time assessing the situation. He pondered whether or not to help sasuke. "Stupid bastard won't lose...he's stronger than me…damn him! I'll show him one day!" Naruto clenched his fist and muttered these words to himself.

Ashley gently tapped naruto on the shoulder. "You've got a bug on your hand."

"A bug!" naruto leaped at least three feet in the air and began to run around frantically, shaking his hand wildly. "Get it off, get it off!" Then he jumped over Sasuke and backed up against the tree and whimpered, sucking on his fingers. "It hurts."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You're even more of an idiot than I thought."

"You're mean!" Naruto accused, bursting into loud tears.

Sasuke gave naruto an odd look. "Okay, whatever that was, I don't need to see it again."

Candeh kicked at sasuke. "Shut up!"

"Don't you dare touch him," Ashley snarled.

The two girls dropped back into position. Candeh was the first to make her move. With a wild yell, she launched herself at Ashley. Ashley was ready for her and brought up her katana to defend. The two weapons clashed with a loud metallic clang. They both stared each other down, inches away, both unwilling to move their sword, hoping to push the other back.

Suddenly Candeh screeched and pointed. "Look! Albel's kissing Maria!"

Ashley gasped. "Ewww! He can't do that. He and Maria wouldn't make a good couple. Albel, don't do it!"

Candeh took advantage of Ashley's distraction to jump up and grab onto a tree branch right above her. She swung back and forth to gain momentum and then launched herself, kicking Ashley in the back of the head. Ashley fell hard but she immediately kicked upward and righted herself. She aimed a high kick that knocked Candeh's sword of her hand.

"Ha, I win!" Ashley cheered.

"Not so fast," said Candeh lazily, pulling out her gun.

Ashley scowled. "That's cheating!"

"So? I still win. If you say otherwise I'll shoot you dead."

"Uhh, okay..it's a draw. You can have Itachi and Sasuke gets to live."

"But I wanted to kill Sasuke!" Candeh shouted.

"Fine, you can kill sasuke and I get Itachi."

Candeh looked surprised. "You'll give in so easily?"

"Sure, because I can resurrect him."

"You can't do that," Candeh scoffed.

"Yes I can." Ashley pointed to her clothes. "I have an Akatsuki cloak."

"AKATSUKI CLOAKS ARE NOT MAGICAL!" Candeh bellowed.

"I didn't say they were. Anyway, I'm a very powerful ninja and you just have a gun."

Candeh stuck out her tongue. "Major Motoko has cool powers. She can leap off buildings and look cool while doing it!"

Ashley looked unimpressed. "Fine, I'll cut you a deal. I won't resurrect Sasuke until you're off the planet and in return, you won't hit on Itachi."

Candeh chuckled evilly. "But remember, you said if you lost I could kill you too."

Ashley snorted. "So? I could resurrect myself too."

"Darn!" Candeh scowled and crossed her arms over her chest.

Ashley looked smug. "All your "skills" aren't much good, are they?"

"YES THEY ARE!" Candeh yelled. "I bet you can't do this!" Candeh scrambled up the side of a tall building and looked down at Ashley. With a serene look on her face, Candeh launched herself, falling gracefully face first , her body twisting in the air, with the Inner Universe song playing, until she came close to the ground. With a powerful flip, Candeh righted herself and just as she was about to land, Deidara jumped up from nowhere and grabbed her.

Candeh squealed in delight. "Deidara, you caught me!"

"Of course I did, yeah!" Deidara said proudly, balancing her on his shoulders.

Candeh gazed at Sasuke hatefully as naruto continued to leap around spastically.

Deidara noticed her look. "I think it's best if Itachi kills Sasuke, yeah."

"Can't I just kill him once before we go?" Candeh said hopefully.

Deidara grinned. "Yeah."

Candeh hopped off Deidara's shoulders and aimed her Ak-47 at Sasuke, filling his body full of bullets. Then she climbed back onto Deidara's shoulders' and happily put her arms around his neck.

"I'm going to capture you and take you back to the Akatsuki hideout, yeah," Deidara informed her.

"Yeah! Sounds good to me!"

Candeh stuck out her tongue at Ashley and laughed hysterically as Deidara ran off with her into the sunset.

"Hey, you come back here!" Ashley roared. "You have to leave the planet so I can resurrect sasuke again." But Candeh and Deidara were already way beyond hearing range, so Ashley scowled and kicked at a tuft of grass. "Fine, I'll resurrect him anyway."

Ashley bent down over Sasuke's body and made several complicated hand motions. The holes in Sasuke's body started to heal over and then he blinked open his eyes and stared at Ashley. "Where did that other psycho go?"

"she went off to join the Akatsuki," Ashley said gruffly.

"You're alive!" Naruto shrieked, throwing his arms around Sasuke's neck.

"Don't touch me," Sasuke growled, prying him off.

Ashley beamed. "I'm glad things are back to normal." She straightened up and calmly surveyed the now peaceful area, until she noticed a pair of eyes staring holes into the back of her neck.

She turned around to see Itachi staring at her with no expression at all. Ashley was not alarmed. "Yes, Itachi-sama?" she asked cheerfully.

Itachi said nothing. He walked forward and stopped barely a few inches from Ashley. He continued to stare with his eyes narrowed slightly in concentration.

Ashley barely suppressed a squeal. Itachi was so close to her and looking directly at her. Surely he would-

"I will kill you!" Sasuke shouted, now standing and gazing menacingly at Itachi.

Itachi turned to look at Sasuke with a blank emotionless look. Ashley sighed in disappointment.

"I'll take care of him for you!" Adray said cheerfully. He prodded Cliff in the side and together they grabbed onto both of sasuke's arms and led him away, struggling. Naruto ran after them, poking sasuke in the ribs while his hands were immobile. Sasuke scowled, but said nothing.

Adray and Cliff dumped Sasuke on grassy hill and Sasuke scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Itachi is a killer. I have to avenge my family's deaths by killing him."

Maria crept up behind him and in a spooky voice whispered. "You were secretly born to a clan of cats. All but one of your nine lives is now used. You won't survive after this."

Sasuke frowned and backed away from her. "Who is this strange girl anyway?"

Maria jumped up to her feet and tossed her head back and raised her hands. "I am the child of vampire offspring. I must survive into the new generation. Heed my cry, o mighty clouds!"

With a cry of "Rawr!" Maria launched herself at sasuke and sasuke brought out his shurikens to defend against her.

Cliff sighed heavily. "Should we go help the idiot?"

Adray balled his hands into fists. "I think it'll be fun. Let's go nuts!"

Meanwhile, with sasuke now occupied, Itachi turned his gaze back to Ashley. Ashley held her breath as Itachi moved even closer, still staring at her.

"Itachi-sama, did you want something from me?" Ashley asked softly.

Itachi continued to regard her in his unemotional way, and then slowly reached out with one hand and pushed her against the tree. He put one hand over her neck and held her there, applying very little pressure. He was merely holding her by the neck, not pinning her. He studied the startled but pleased look on Ashley's face and clenched his hand further around her neck, digging into her with his nails, but not quite enough that she couldn't breathe.

Ashley still seemed a little too happy about it, so Itachi tightened his hold until Ashley was gasping for breath and desperately swallowing against his hand.

Itachi's other hand barely brushed over Ashley's hair and then he released her.

Ashley slowly brought a hand up to touch her neck. She carefully felt where Itachi had squeezed her neck and blushed, softly squealing with the thought that Itachi had actually touched her.

A slight flicker of emotion passed over Itachi's face as he again pinned her to the tree with a hard shove. Ashley squeaked as her head slammed against the tree. "I-i-itachi-sama, what are you doing?"

"Shut up," Itachi said in a dull voice. Then he proceeded to shut her up, with his mouth.

Ashley gasped. This couldn't be happening to her. Why would Itachi be interested in her?

Itachi kissed her forcefully, one hand pressing her against the tree and the other clutching a fistful of her hair. Abruptly he pulled back and turned away. "Let's go," he said calmly.

"Me?" Ashley said hopefully.

Itachi looked back and raked over her with his gaze. "Yes, you're coming with me."

Ashley jumped up and down in happiness. "Oh boy! Wait, are we going back to the Akatsuki hideout where that stupid Candeh is?" She shook her fist angrily.

"No, we're going somewhere else for awhile." Itachi reached back and took her wrist and then pulled her along. Ashley grinned with delight and walked along with him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"So cute!' Sophia shrieked, tackling Fayt. "Why can't we be like that?"

Fayt squirmed out from under her. "uh, because-Maria!" Fayt was cut off as Maria came up behind him and tickled him.

Sophia pondered this. "You and I can't be together because of Maria? You love Maria?" Her eyes filled up with tears.

Fayt was too busy chasing Maria down to get even with her to pay much attention to Sophia's words. "You'll pay for that!" He shouted.

Maria giggled madly and ran circles around a large tree until she tripped and fell. Fayt finally caught up with her and stood over her glaring. "Just for that, I'm going to do this," he snarled. He bent down and firmly kissed Maria on the nose and then darted back to Sophia.

"Aaagh! He kissed me! He kissed me! I'm contaminated!' Maria squealed, running in circles again with her hands in the air.

Fayt rolled his eyes and ignored her.

They were all oblivious to a ninja watching them silently from high in the tree. The ninja was waiting patiently for the perfect moment to strike.

All of a sudden, the ground started shaking. Albel gasped and began running around in a panic. "They're coming! They're coming!" He stopped for a moment to nervously chew on his nails and then ran around some more.

"Who's coming?" asked a perplexed Fayt.

Albel raced up to him and buried his face in Fayt's shirt and sobbed, then wiped his eyes. He looked up and desperately clutched onto the shirt. He looked earnestly at Fayt and whispered, "Dragons."

Three large dragons lumbered up to the tree and looked directly at the ninja. "You called us, didn't you?"

Maria screamed and pointed, then fell over still screaming. "They're talking to a tree!"

A disgruntled dragon bent down, stared at her, and carefully flicked her out of the way. She flew a few feet and landed with her head right in Fayt's lap. "Yay! Kiss me again." Maria attempted to pull his head down to kiss her but Fayt struggled and fought.

The ninja leaped down onto one of the dragons' backs and pulled off his black ninja shroud to reveal to the world that he was Alex. "Yes, I did call for you, but you're a little late. The fighting's already over."

"You mean we came here for nothing?" demanded the largest dragon.

Alex settled down onto the small dragon's back between two spikes. "In a way, yes."

"Nobody calls us for nothing," the largest dragon growled, plucking Alex from his friend's back. "You will die for this offense. Fier, Ichors, prepare a pit." He grinned, revealing sharp teeth.

Alex was unfazed. "I see. And what is your name, may I ask?"

"I am called Ibo the terrible," the dragon said gruffly.

Alex pulled out a notebook and carefully wrote it down. "Right, thank you for your time. I'll have to inform the dragon agency that you three aren't fit to be hired out."

Ibo laughed wickedly. "You won't survive to report us."

Fier and Ichors dug a large hole in the dirt and then crawled in. Ibo placed a very large barbecue grate over the hole. "This is what I call a dragon pit."

He dangled Alex over the pit as Fier and Ichors blew flames up at him. Just as Alex was about to be scorched by a flame, a loud poof sound was heard and Ibo felt the weight in his hand shift. He glanced down to find himself holding a stuffed replica of Alex with a note attached that said, "Hahahahaha!"

Ibo bellowed with rage and searched for Alex. "Ha, you think a substitution jutsu will save you? I shall find you and torture you even more for this insolence."

"I don't think so," said a voice from at his feet. Ibo looked down just in time to catch a powerful uppercut to the jaw. Ibo was thrown several feet up into the air and he crashed t the ground on his back, several feet away.

Alex cracked his knuckles and glanced at the other two dragons calmly. "Who's next?"

The other dragons bowed their heads and scuttled off into a tall forest.

Albel leaped onto Alex and hugged him. "You've saved me!"

Alex gently pushed Albel away. "A ninja's work is never done." He carefully adjusted his i-pod to his favorite song and the launched himself into a tree.

Cliff gathered the group together and they began to leave. Sasuke was once again free to chase down Itachi and plot to kill him. Naruto had tripped over a rock and was now back to normal, loudly boasting of his greatness.

Everyone was inside the ship and they were about to take off when something jumped on top of the ship, making a loud clang. Albel gasped and began running around in a panic. "The dragons are back! The dragons are back!"

Adray tackled Albel and knocked him to the ground while Cliff went out to investigate. He discovered Alex the ninja calmly sitting on top of the ship.

"You can't be there!" Cliff shouted. "This thing is going to travel through space. You'll suffocate with no oxygen."

"In that case," said Alex cheerfully. He leaped off the top of the ship and slipped inside.

Cliff ran inside. Chaos had taken over while he left. He pointed at Mirage. "No nail polish on the floor. Maria, get off the control panels. And you..." his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Adray, I know you've been the one making dents in the walls and that has to stop immediately!"

Albel twitched in alarm. "We must go someplace safer!"

"But the ninja is still on the ship somewhere!" Cliff protested.

"We'll find him later. We have to go before more dragons come!" Albel slammed a button and the ship rose into the air.

Cliff stood at the window looking out at space. "I have a funny feeling, guys. Maria, have you ever-" he turned around and stared as Maria hung from the ceiling. "What are you doing? You're supposed to help me pilot the ship."

"You wouldn't let me," Maria pouted.

"Not let you? You and Mirage have to help set the course"

Maria giggled. "Mirage is a little busy."

Cliff's eyes widened and put a hand to his forehead. "What's going on around here/"

A screen on the ships flashed. "Information requested available."

Cliff walked over and examined it. "The ooc, huh? Let's see." His eyes widened as he continued reading. "Jesus, this thing is dangerous. No wonder everyone's so bizarre. It looks like I'm the only sane person around here. I just hope those bugs don't come back. Well, I better get some rest. I'll have a lot of work to do managing the rest of these clowns."

Late at night, Roger ran to Mirage's side of the bed and shook her awake. "Mommy, mommy, I had a bad dream."

Mirage yawned and sat up. "Tell mommy all about it, sweetheart."

"There were ninjas and dragons and ladies with guns shooting people!" Roger said with a dramatic gasp. "It was scary!"

Mirage gently held him and stroked his hair. "It's okay, darling. It was just a dream."

Roger's eyes widened and he pointed at the door. "Look, it's a ninja!"

Alex walked by down the hallway. He poked his head into the room to look at Roger and Mirage and then he walked on by.

Roger whimpered and clung to Mirage's shirt. "It wasn't a dream! It wasn't a dream."

Mirage rocked him gently back and forth in her arms. "You and I weren't there when the fighting was happening. We were busy on the other side of town picking flowers where it's safe. But you don't have to worry about Alex. He's a friendly ninja. He saved us from 3 dragons."

"Wow," said Roger breathlessly.

"There,there. Nothing to worry about now. Go back to sleep, love."

Roger yawned and settled further into Mirage's arms, sucking his thumb as he fell back asleep.