Disclaimer: Do I have to say it again? I don't own them. Never have. Never will. I'm just borrowing them, and they will be returned (albeit slightly tarnished) at the end of the next chapter


Chapter 48

Hermione landed firmly on her feet amidst the long grass growing beside a low stone wall. Shading her eyes from the sun sinking towards the far horizon, the first thing she registered was the salty smell of the air and the chill of the wind whipping her hair about her face.

Glancing to her right, towards a glittering ocean and the desolate landscape that lay between, Hermione wondered where on earth Severus' Portkey had brought her. Looking to her left, across the stone wall, she breathed a sigh of relief at signs of life on the undulating hillside.

A gap in the wall marked the beginning of a cobblestone path, which wound through a rambling garden to the doorstep of a single storey, white-washed house. A climbing rose grew along the west-facing wall, its boughs laden with golden-yellow blooms, and the longest branch hung across one of the blue-shuttered windows.

The door to the house opened, and a man stepped out, retrieving a watering can from a corner of the small porch and bending to fill it at the nearby tap. Hermione stared at her father, overjoyed and uncertain all at once. Standing upright again a moment later, he turned to water the row of multi-coloured flowers lining the cobbled path.

As though sensing he was being watched, he glanced up, stilling as his eyes met Hermione's. He put the watering can down on the path and shielded his eyes with one hand from the glare of the sun.

"Hermione?"

Uncertainty disappearing, Hermione tucked the Portkey and her shrunken bag of clothes into a pocket of her cloak and walked quickly up the path. Without hesitation, she threw her arms around her father, laughing in delight as he grabbed her about the waist and swung her around.

"Dad, it's so good to see you!" she exclaimed when he finally set her down, her eyes bright with happy tears.

He grasped her shoulders, leaning back to regard her with a wide smile on his face. His eyes sparkled "Hermione, look at you – you look… so grown up!"

She rolled her eyes at her father.

"Funny, Dad. Have you forgotten I'm officially grown up these days, and more so now I've finished school!"

He chuckled, picking up the watering can again.

"That's right, my little graduand. Well, let me just do these last few plants and then we'll go and find your mother. She'll be delighted to see you. Are you staying long?"

Hermione opened her mouth to answer, but someone else spoke first.

"Adam?" a voice called from the doorway. "Who are you talking to? Dinner's almost ready."

Hermione turned to see her mother peering out into the glare, and her face split into another grin.

"Mum, it's me!" she called, grabbing her father's hand and pulling him with her towards the house. "I hope you made extra!"


Back at Hogwarts, Severus spent the next few days weighing up his options for the future, and when a decision was finally made, putting his plan into action. Dumbledore made a half-hearted attempt to dissuade him, but in the end Severus got the feeling the old wizard knew and understood… this was something he had to do for himself… for a change.

Having seen to it that Poppy Pomfrey had all the required supplies for the remaining occupants of the Hospital Wing, Severus set about packing up the contents of his lab in preparation for his departure from Hogwarts. It was a tedious, tiring job, since most of the lab's contents couldn't be shrunken, compacted or packed using any form of magic. The manual work did give Severus time to think, though… mainly about Hermione.

He imagined she would be pleased that he was leaving Hogwarts; though they had yet to talk about it, he didn't think there was any reason she would be remaining at the school. He hoped, whatever studies she chose to pursue, she would remain in the country, but if she didn't… they'd manage. Cross-continental Apparition was both taxing and potentially dangerous; International Portkeys were costly to use on a regular basis, but he had some money put aside. She was worth it.

If she came back.

She would be returning to Hogwarts at the end of the week – that was for sure; she wouldn't miss the graduation ceremony and Order of Merlin presentation… but would she return to him? Despite everything they had been through together and her constant reassurances, there was still a niggling doubt in the back of his mind… a worry that, once she went out into the world and saw how much life had to offer her, she would see him only as someone who would hold her back. Not intentionally… simply by virtue of who he was and what he had once been.

He worried, too, what her parents' reaction to their relationship would be. He knew they read the Prophet, and the picture Rita Skeeter's article painted of their relationship would hardly have been favourable from a parent's point of view. It wasn't until after she'd Portkeyed away that he remembered his ring was still hanging around her neck, and he wondered what her parents would have to say about that. He didn't intend for it to stay there much longer, in any case.

Lying in bed in the early hours of Wednesday morning, he found himself unable to sleep. Rolling over with a frustrated sigh, he flung his arm out across the empty expanse of bed beside him and wondered whether Hermione was asleep at her parents' house… It was strange listening to the silence of his room, so often filled with her soft breathing or words murmured in the midst of a dream. It was too quiet without her.

Turning onto his stomach again, he buried his face in her pillow, inhaling the lingering scent of the Muggle shampoo she stubbornly continued to use, despite being quite capable of making a herbal equivalent. An sudden image of her rose in his mind, and he let out a soft growl of frustration as the lower regions of his body stirred at memories of previous nights spent with her in his bed. Severus clenched the rumpled duvet in his fists, refusing to give in to his body. It was a losing battle; every time he shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position, it only served to increase his arousal. The cool sheets rubbing against his erection sent delicious sensations running through his body.

Turning onto his back again, Severus kicked the duvet off, exposing himself to the cool air. Closing his eyes, he propped his hands behind his head and took a series of deep, measured breaths. She'd been away not even two full nights yet; he could – he would – wait for her return, how ever many days away that might still be. He growled aloud at himself; he was a grown man, not some bloody randy schoolboy!

After another hour or so of lying there, his body warring with his mind, Severus gave up on sleep. He rose and dressed, studiously ignoring his body's protests as he fastened his trousers, and returned to the lab to continue packing. The tedious manual work would take his mind of more pleasant activities for a while.

By late that afternoon, after stopping only for a hasty lunch in the Great Hall, the cupboards, workbenches and small desk all were bare, their former contents meticulously packed into five large trunks which now cluttered the far end of the room. Closing the door over behind him, Severus sat down in the sitting room, stifled a yawn and eyed the row of bookshelves along one wall.

It was astounding how much one accumulated living in the same three rooms for nigh on twenty years. At least the books could be packed using magic, though. He would only need a fraction of the time taken to clear the lab to pack up the sitting room, but he refrained from doing so just yet. He wanted to talk to Hermione before she saw the contents of his life packed away ready to move.

A short time later, he was surprised to hear a knock on the door to his chambers, and even more surprised to find Potter standing outside, travelling cloak draped over one arm.

"Potter," he said suspiciously, eyeing the younger man. "To what do I owe this unexpected visit? If you're in search of Hermione, she is not–"

"I know," Potter cut him off. "I came to speak with you, actually."

Severus raised an eyebrow.

"Very well," he said mildly. "Come in, then. I'll not enter into a discussion where anyone and everyone can hear."

Stepping past him, Potter stopped and stood awkwardly a few paces inside the door as Severus closed it behind them and turned to regard the younger man.

"Sit," he said, not waiting for Potter to comply before he took one armchair himself.

"I went to the Ministry today," Potter began, lowering himself into the chair opposite and folding his cloak in his lap, hands gingerly smoothing the rough woollen material.

Severus snorted. Potter would have had an even more difficult time fighting his way through the curious and grateful general public than he had on Monday.

"I suppose congratulations are in order," he commented. "Hermione tells me you've been offered a place in the Auror programme."

"Yeah," Potter said, pausing a moment to grin, but then he sobered quickly. "That was only part of the reason I went to the Ministry, though. Dumbledore asked me to do some things on his behalf and… Hermione asked me to see if anything can be done for- about Draco."

Severus was silent, torn between being grateful or annoyed that Hermione had taken it upon herself to try to help the all-but-lost cause.

"Is that so?" he finally managed.

"Oh, come on, Snape, don't look so surprised," Potter said, a trace of scorn in his tone. "Hermione's one of my best friends – I'd do anything for her, even if it's something she's trying to do for you. And besides that, I may never have been friends with Malfoy, but we wouldn't have even lured Voldemort to Godric's Hollow that day without his help. It's the least I can do to see that things are done right now."

Severus stared at him. When Potter didn't elaborate immediately, he prompted, "And?"

Potter sighed and shook his head.

"Scrimgeour offered me almost anything I could possibly want – any job in the Ministry, or outside the Ministry, for that matter… money, watch wizards to keep the reporters at bay while I went about my business… anything, on the condition I leave the disposal of the Death Eaters' bodies to the Ministry and not ask about it again. I'm sorry."

The small hope that had crept into Severus' mind diminished. He should have known better than to think even the Boy-Who-Lived could sway the Ministry where Albus Dumbledore could not. It was becoming slightly easier with each passing day to think of what had happened to the young Malfoy without the overwhelming guilt taking hold, as it had done in the early days following the battle. The self-blame was still there… it always would be, no matter how much time went by or how many people tried to convince Severus that Draco's taking the Mark hadn't been in fault. But he had to accept the fact that nothing could be done now… not even so much as to give the Slytherin a proper resting place. It was a painful truth, but dwelling on it wouldn't change it; he knew that now.

Severus cleared his throat and looked away. "Well, it was commendable of you to try. I thank you for that."

Potter nodded and stood up, but as he moved towards the door to depart, he hesitated.

"There's something else."

Severus raised an eyebrow, noting the younger man's sudden look of discomfort.

"Well get on with it, Potter," he said, rising from his chair and brushing invisible dust particles from his shirt sleeve.

"Hermione," Potter said simply. "What's going to happen with the two of you now?"

Severus narrowed his eyes.

"I beg your pardon?"

If he wasn't so incensed, he would have snorted with laughter when Potter took an involuntary step backwards. As it was, he wasn't about to discuss Hermione with anyone – not even one of her best friends, and certainly not with Harry bloody Potter.

"Look, I don't mean to pry," Potter began, taking another step back, "but–"

"Glad to hear it, Potter. Now there's the exit," Severus growled, the heavy oak door swinging open as he pointed to it.

"I'm going, all right, but just let me say something first."

Severus clenched his jaw in frustration, but Potter stuck his chin out defiantly. Sighing, he folded him arms and waited for the younger man to continue.

"We were talking about the future the other day – Hermione, Ron and me – talking about what we're going to be doing, where we're going… She thinks we didn't notice, but she hardly talked about her plans. You know what I think? She doesn't know what to do, because she's waiting on you."

Severus tried to appear bored; he refused to let on exactly how true Potter's words had rung with him, and he wondered at his wisdom in sending Hermione off to visit her parents without making his intentions clear to her. Surely she knew how he felt, though… and as for her future, did she think he would hold her back, prevent her from doing anything she wished?

Potter was still staring at him, waiting for some response or explanation. Severus cleared his throat irritably.

"Exactly what is your point, Potter?"

"My point," Potter's tone was sharp and he glared at Severus, undaunted, "is that if she doesn't mean as much to you as you obviously do to her, tell her, so she can get on with her life."

"And if she does?" he enquired dangerously.

Folding his arms with his cloak draped over them, Potter backed further towards the door. He looked uncomfortable with the mere thought, but there was a trace of resignation on his face as well. Had Hermione made her intentions clear to her friends?

"I suppose we'll have to learn to tolerate each other," the younger man said, "because I don't intend on losing my friend."

"And I don't intend on giving her up," Severus returned. "Now get out before I change my mind and Obliviate you."

Potter had the audacity to smirk as he backed out into the corridor, and Severus slammed the door closed with a sharp word.

Damn nosy bloody Gryffindors.


Upon exploring her parents' new home and its surrounds the morning after her arrival, Hermione had been uncertain what to make of it… it was so different from the bustling suburbia they had lived in back in England. The tiny settlement on the Pointe du Raz was more a cluster of closely grouped houses than a proper village, its population swelled only by day through countless tourists, who returned further inland, and to the larger towns at night; it lay on the western coast of France, high on a windswept cape overlooking miles of endless ocean. Their house was away from the main road, on the narrow track leading down to a tiny harbour.

The nearest town of any size was Audierne, half an hour's drive away, and it was there they had gone on Wednesday morning, buying groceries at the local market and drinking coffee at a tiny sidewalk café. It was a world away from the fast-paced life of two practicing dentists, and a world away from Hogwarts, too.

They hadn't started working in France, and from what Hermione could discern, they were not planning to, either. But they were planning to stay. Her mother had fallen in love with the small, cosy house overlooking the windswept coast, and her father was content pottering about the garden in between writing articles for various dental publications.

Hermione didn't know whether it was the fresh air, change of lifestyle or retirement that wrought the change, but this small, out-of-the-way place had become their home, and seeing their happiness relieved some of the guilt she still felt at having been the cause of them needing to leave England in the first place.

Over dinner on Wednesday night, her father brought up a certain article they had read in the Daily Prophet. Hermione had been expecting it to be a topic of conversation almost immediately upon her arrival, but it had taken two days for the issue to be raised. If they had been waiting for her to bring it up, they had grown tired of waiting; she was uncertain of what their reaction would be, and had decided to simply enjoy the time she had with them before risking an argument. She had told them everything else that had happened – all the things she had been unable to tell them previously via Owl Post, lest the communication fall into the wrong hands. She cried over the Weasleys and Draco… and they held her while she cried; she recounted her last few months of classes, her NEWTs and everything she had done in between. They learnt that she had spent a great deal of time with Severus, that he was a brilliant man and – despite the age difference – a very close friend… but anything more than that, Hermione just hadn't found a way to broach the subject until her father brought it up.

"I see that Skeeter woman hasn't stopped writing outrageous nonsense," he commented out of the blue as Hermione swallowed her last mouthful of chicken and her mother stood up to clear the dishes.

She glanced across the table at her father, trying to read the expression on his face. It wasn't angry… rather, questioning… expecting an explanation.

"She makes a living out of wild exaggeration, Dad," she said. "The real story wouldn't sell half as many papers."

"So there is some truth to it, then?" her mother asked, returning to the table with a bowl of fresh fruit – grapes, cherries, and slices of oranges.

"Most stories do have a basis in fact," Hermione said carefully, still trying to gauge her parents' reaction.

"Perhaps you'll tell us the real story, then," her father suggested. "We're not interested in exaggeration."

Hermione bit her lip, picking a bunch of grapes from the bowl and pulling them off one by one.

"We don't want to know everything, darling," her mother said, "but we are interested. He seemed like a good man when we met him, brief as that meeting was, and I know we spoke of you having some sort of affection for him at Christmas… It's hard to reconcile that to what we read in the Prophet recently, though, exaggerated or not. From the way it was written, the whole wizarding world is expecting an announcement of marriage from the two of you!"

Hermione flushed and stared down at her plate again.

"Hermione?"

She could hear the frown in her father's voice before she looked up to see it on his face. Taking a deep breath, she reached into the neck of her t-shirt and pulled out Severus' ring on its chain.

"Hermione," her mother whispered, staring at it with a stunned expression.

"It's not what you think," she said quickly, then smiled as she echoed Severus' words from when he had given it to her. "Not yet."

Her father, too, seemed speechless, and Hermione felt a twinge of regret that she hadn't been able to discuss her relationship with Severus with her parents before. This was completely out of the blue for them.

Finally, her father cleared his throat and managed to say, "Perhaps you'd better start from the beginning."


Much later that night, Hermione was sitting beneath the large beech tree in her parents' back garden. Clasping a cup of tea in her hands, she stared out across the undulating landscape towards the twinkling lights of the small village a few miles away. Somewhere off to the left, twin headlights of a car were winding their way along the main road. If she listened carefully, Hermione could hear the distant crash of the surf, over the cliffs and far below. Besides that, the only sound was the slight breeze rustling the grass and the quiet voices of her parents inside the house. Further away in the distance was a brighter cluster of lights marking the larger town just down the coast.

She had come outside both for a moment of peace, and also to give her parents some time alone. They had taken the explanation of her relationship with Severus remarkably well… though, to be fair, she hadn't told them everything. Some things… just couldn't be put into words, let alone to one's parents.

Draining her cup of tea and setting it aside, she lay back in the soft grass, staring up through the branches and leaves to the star-filled sky. She had spent the past few hours talking about Severus, and only now, outside and alone, did she let herself acknowledge how much she was missing him. She'd been apart from him for two days, and yet it felt like a week.

It wasn't that she didn't enjoy the time she was spending with her parents – it had been wonderful to see them again after so long, and see the life they'd built in this foreign country, the house they'd turned into a home. But she wanted to share with him everything that had happened, walk with him around the quaint town, and laugh as he tried to explain potion-making to her father and her father tried to explain Muggle dental medicine to Severus. She fancied staying in one of the tiny bed and breakfast's, just down the coast a short distance from her parents' house, and lying with him at night, making love or simply talking quietly about what they'd done during the day and their plans for tomorrow.

The only thing that bothered her upon realisation of her need to be close to Severus was his demeanour the afternoon she'd left… he'd been preoccupied, even distant, and yet he had still held her and kissed her goodbye. The gesture of arranging the Portkey was enough in itself to show how much he cared… or had there been an ulterior motive for her trip? Was it an excuse for having some time apart without having to explain his desire for such to her?

A shadow loomed over her, drawing Hermione from her thoughts, and her mother sat down in the grass.

"All right, love?" her mother asked.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

Hermione turned her head to regard her mother. In the soft light spilling from the kitchen window, the older woman's expression was curious but also careful.

"Nothing and everything," Hermione said with a short laugh. "I've got so many things running through my head, I don't know where to begin sorting them out."

Her mother nodded understandingly, then opened her mouth as if to speak, closed it, and tried a second time.

"Hermione, it probably goes unspoken after everything you've told us, but I feel compelled to ask; do you love him?"

"Very much," she replied softly, and she felt a slight blush creep up her cheeks.

"And he loves you?"

Hermione nodded, although her mind was again drawn back to her departure and what had been said… or not said, rather. She pushed that thought away quickly.

"He's quite a bit older than you," her mother said slowly. "But then again, you've always been mature for your age. I must admit your father and I were worried about you after some of the things that Skeeter woman wrote, but I suppose we should have known better than to take to heart anything she writes. It was just… well, we hadn't heard much from you, so we weren't to know what might have happened."

Hermione sighed.

"I know I didn't tell you much about anything at all in the last few months, and especially not about Severus. It was hard enough to explain tonight, in person, let alone in a letter. Don't think I wanted to keep it from you, Mum… I just… I didn't know how to tell you. Does that make sense?"

"Of course, darling," her mother said. "I just wish we'd been able to talk more in the last few years."

"Mum," she began, but stopped, uncertain of exactly what she meant to say.

"It's been hard, you being away from us so much," her mother confessed, her voice wavering a little. "Each year when you come home, we tend to forget our little girl is a year older, and now… oh, Hermione, you've grown up so much, even since Christmas. You're a young woman now; our little girl is long gone."

"Mum," Hermione said softly, sitting up and facing her mother, "I might not be a little girl any longer, but I'll always be your daughter."

They embraced each other tightly, then both lay back in the grass, talking quiet for a while longer until the breeze became too cold and they decided to retreat inside.

"What happens now?" her mother asked as they stood up. "I know you haven't received your NEWT results yet, but have you thought about what you want to do?"

"Not a lot," Hermione said. "Severus and I haven't really had a chance to talk about what he's doing, but I don't think he plans to go back to teaching, so it would be nice to know where he's going before I weigh up all my options."

Her mother laughed, and Hermione looked up at her, startled.

"Sorry, love," her mother said, still chuckling. "I never thought I'd see the day my girl put something ahead of studying. Perhaps there was some truth to that article after all."

"Mum!" Hermione smacked the older woman lightly on the arm, but she couldn't help but laugh, too. She had finally learnt in the last year that there were indeed more important things than good grades.

"I think you should talk to him soon," her mother suggested. "Who knows, he could be waiting on you to make your decisions first."

"True," Hermione murmured. She hadn't considered that, but maybe her mother was right.

Having seen how happy her parents were in their new life, and having come clean to them about Severus, Hermione suddenly felt like the purpose of her visit had been accomplished. She was struck with an overwhelming desire to return to Hogwarts and work things out with Severus… to find out exactly what had been bothering him. She could always visit her parents again at a later date… maybe Severus would even consider accompanying her next time.

As if reading her thoughts, as the reached the back door of the house, Hermione's mother turned to her and said, "Will I see you for breakfast, or will you be gone by then?"

"I–" Hermione hesitated. She didn't want to offend her mother by conveying her sudden urgency to be gone, but the older woman seemed to sense it anyway.

"Talk to him," her mother said again with a smile, and she raised her hand to lightly touch the ring around Hermione's neck, still hanging outside her t-shirt. "Perhaps next time I see my little girl, she'll be wearing that on her finger."

Hermione couldn't help the grin that spread across her face at the notion, and she hugged her mother tightly again, whispering, "Thank you."

It was past midnight by the time Hermione had spoken to her father as well, gathered her things together, and bid both of her parents farewell. Severus wouldn't mind her returning at such a ridiculous hour, though… she hoped. She promised to return in the next few weeks for another visit, and to send them word by owl of both her NEWT results and 'anything else of note', as her mother said with a wink.

Standing beside the low stone wall surrounding the front garden, Portkey in one hand and her wand in the other, Hermione waved to her parents one more time, then tapped the Portkey and felt the tell-tale jerk behind her navel. France whirled away in a blinding flash of colours, and a moment later, she found herself standing at the front gates of Hogwarts.

She smiled sadly as she gazed up at the castle; it really felt like home… but not for much longer, Hermione suspected. Still, whilst Severus and her other friends were there, it was where she wanted to be.

Walking back up to the castle, Hermione slipped through the main doors and made her way to Severus' quarters, entering via the hidden corridor on the first floor out of habit rather than necessity. She didn't see anyone on her way through the castle; it was the middle of the night, but even the ghosts were nowhere to be seen.

Still, at least she didn't have to explain to anyone why she had returned in the middle of the night.

Pulling off her cloak in the sitting room and tossing it over the back of one of the armchairs, she glanced around the room, a slight frown creasing her forehead. Something was different… she couldn't work out what it was, though. Shaking her head, she made for the bedroom, trying to ignore the apprehension suddenly overtaking her joy at being back at Hogwarts. She was both eager to see Severus and worried he might have enjoyed their time apart too much.

Stopping in the doorway for a moment, Hermione took in the sight of him asleep, sprawled out on his back diagonally across the bed. The duvet was draped across his lower half, and one of the pillows from what had become her side of the bed was clutched against his side. It was a wonder her mere presence in the room hadn't woken him – he was usually such a light sleeper – but she decided to press her advantage and undressed as quietly as she could.

Perhaps all he needed was to be reminded of what he'd been missing in her absence…

With that in mind, Hermione slipped the pillow from beside him and crawled into its place, curling herself against his body. Leaning up, she brushed the side of his face with feather-light kisses. It was that touch which finally roused him.

He mumbled something as he awoke, then opened his eyes, blinking at her several times.

"Hermione?"

She smiled softly at him.

"Hi," she said shyly.

"What–" He pushed himself up on his elbows, waving his hand to light one of the wall sconces and blinking in the dim light. "What's wrong? What are you doing here?"

"N-nothing's wrong," she faltered, drawing back from him in dismay. Suddenly feeling foolish, she reached for the edge of the duvet to pull it up and cover herself.

Severus' expression became confused, and she lowered her eyes and whispered, "Does something have to be wrong for me to have come back?"

He was silent, and when she finally dared to look up again, it was to find him staring at her, slightly open-mouthed.

"Isn't it enough that I missed you?" she added.

He huffed out a sudden surprised laugh and pulled her into his arms, capturing her lips in a kiss that drove away every trace of fear that he might no longer want her. She could feel his need for her in the urgency of the kiss… as well as a stirring in the lower regions of his body. Hermione kissed him back with equal fervour, running her hands over the bare skin of his back, trying to convey without words how glad she was to be back.

When he finally broke the kiss, Severus held her against him, running one hand through the loose curls falling about her shoulders. He sighed contentedly, and Hermione heard the syllables of her name on the soft exhalation.

"I did miss you, you know," she said after a while, feeling the need to reaffirm her reason for returning in the middle of the night.

"And I, you," he murmured. "Very much."

Hermione pulled away a little and settled back beside him, reaching up to brush a strand of hair back from his face; tucking the offending piece behind his ear, she trailed her fingers along his jawline, feeling the prickling beginnings of stubble. Moving further down, she traced the fine line of the scar where his neck and shoulder met, the jutting line of his collarbone. Her fingers came to rest over the rune-shaped scar above his breastbone, and she felt him shiver involuntarily.

Continuing on silently, she ran her hand over the knife scar beneath his right ribs and the claw marks below his left. Each scar she traced was older than the one before, each another reminder of Severus' painful past.

"What are you doing, memorising all my faults?" Severus asked quietly, though his eyes has slipped closed, obviously enjoying her touch.

"Not faults," she whispered. "Reminders of how fortunate I am to have you."

Hermione heard him laugh quietly, and looked up at his face to see his eyes open again, watching her appreciatively. His expression turned pensive as she held his gaze, though he didn't seem to be entirely focussed on her. Finally growing uncomfortable under his scrutiny, she prompted him with a light nudge; he blinked and seemed to pull himself from whatever thoughts he had been lost amongst.

"Few people would call you fortunate to be in this situation with me," he said. The corners of his mouth quirked up, but Hermione saw a bitterness in the poor attempt at a smile.

"I don't care what people think, Severus," Hermione said, propping herself up on one elbow. "I told you before that people's opinion of our relationship could never change the way I feel about you, and I meant that."

"I know you meant it, Hermione," he replied. "I just don't know if you understand quite what you're letting yourself in for."

She frowned. "I don't– what do you mean?"

He sighed tiredly, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"Why don't we talk tomorrow?" he suggested. Then, realising the time, he amended, "Or later today. We're both tired now, hmm?"

Hermione sighed as well, but nodded, understanding the logic of his suggestion. It wasn't just a random chat they needed to have, but a serious discussion about both of their futures… Hermione only hoped his opinion on those futures aligned with her own.

Severus turned his head away and closed his eyes, and Hermione settled back down beside him. It wasn't long before she fell asleep.


Severus awoke early on Thursday morning, rolling over only to find the other side of the bed empty. If it wasn't for the rumpled duvet and the warmth where Hermione had lain, he would have thought he'd imagined her return in the early hours of the morning. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, he sat there for a moment, massaging his temples with the tips of his fingers.

He didn't look up as the bathroom door opened, nor when he heard Hermione's soft footfalls approaching.

"Headache?" Her voice was soft and he felt her hand rest briefly on his shoulder.

"Mmm," he replied quietly, finally opening his eyes and she dropped her hand and turned to the bedside cabinet.

"I'll get you a phial of something," Hermione murmured, opening the drawer and rummaging through it. Failing to find what she was looking for, she pulled her robe more tightly about her and exited the bedroom, and Severus realised she was heading for the lab… the very empty lab he had yet to explain.

Cursing under his breath, Severus followed her, managing to awkwardly don a pair of sleep pants as he crossed the room.

"Hermione," he called, "I'm fine. I don't need a potion. You don't need to go in th-"

But she had already opened the door and was staring at the empty room. When she turned back, her eyes were wide and fearful.

"Are you going somewhere?" Her voice was small, as though she hardly dared ask for fear of the answer.

He held her eyes for a beat, then sighed. This wasn't the way he'd wanted to reveal his plans to her. Crossing the room, he took her by the shoulders and guided her away from the lab, closing the door behind them.

"Were you going to leave before I got back?" she asked before he could speak.

"What?" He blinked, startled. "No, Hermione. No."

"No," he repeated, appalled she would think such a thing of him. Seeing his dismay, her uncertainly wavered, and she flushed. "Why would you think that?"

"I… just… Don't get me wrong, Severus – I'm so grateful you organised for me to visit my parents, I really am…"

She trailed off, biting the corner of her lip, and he prompted, "But?"

Hermione looked everywhere but directly at him as she finally said, "I just got the feeling there was an ulterior motive to getting rid of me for a while."

There was, he thought, but nothing like she was thinking.

"You've been preoccupied ever since the post arrived last Friday morning, Severus," she pressed on. "It's not the Order of Merlin; we went through that, so it must be something else you received that day. Either that, or it is me." She took a deep breath and seemed to set her jaw. "In any case, there are some things we need to discuss, and I don't fancy putting them off any longer."

"Now is as good a time as any," he agreed, though not without the slightest sense of trepidation.

"But not here." She interrupted his thoughts, and he looked at her questioningly.

"Let's go outside, take a walk around the lake or something. All that fresh air in France has given me a taste for freedom."


After a hasty breakfast in the Great Hall, Hermione led the way as she and Severus walked out the main doors of the castle. The sun was warm on their backs as they crossed the sweeping lawns, taking the path that bypassed the edge of the forest and took them around the lake. They walked in silence until the castle was some distance behind them, and the only sounds were the gentle lapping of the water and quiet rustling of unseen creatures in the nearby forest.

"So," Hermione broke the silence after some time, "do you want to go first, or shall I?"

He seemed to consider the question carefully.

"Given that you are always the first between us to express any sort of… feelings, emotions and such, perhaps it is time I took my turn."

Hermione hooked one arm in the crook of his elbow as they continued walking, waiting for Severus to speak.

"I received a letter from St Mungo's," he finally said. "Or should I say, an offer."

She glanced sideways at him questioningly, waiting for him to elaborate further.

"They have somehow learnt of my work with the Wolfsbane Potion, and seem rather interested in funding future development."

Hermione's eyes widened and her face broke into a grin.

"That's wonderful!" she exclaimed. "Oh, Severus, you've accepted, haven't you? You must!"

"They require my decision by sundown tomorrow," he said evenly, "and no, I have not yet accepted or declined."

Hermione stared at him, confused. "Why on earth not?"

"It will mean leaving Hogwarts… for good," he said, and although his face was impassive, there was something in his voice that made Hermione look more closely. His jaw was set a little too tightly, and there was uncertainty in his eyes.

"It won't be for good," she said quietly. "We'll always be welcome back here."

A smile flitted across his face, but she could see he was anything but convinced.

"In a way," she went on, "I'm almost glad the decision to leave has been taken out of my hands; all the remaining students are expected to move on after the ceremony tomorrow. I would stay here because it's familiar, because it's all I've known in the wizarding world, but along with the good memories I'll take of this place, there are painful ones as well… ones that might be better left alone for a while." She stopped and laughed softly. "Here, you were supposed to be talking, and I've just taken over."

"No, that's good," he said. "We need to have a conversation, not a one-sided talk. I've been thinking about which decision to make for most of the last five days and reached no conclusion. I'm thinking in circles now – I need someone to set me straight.

They were perhaps a third of the way around the lake, and a pile of large rocks, warm from the sun, seemed like a good place to sit while they continued their conversation. Diverting to other matters for a while, Hermione told Severus about her time in France, her parents' house and her conversation with them about him. He seemed relieved to hear they were reasonably accepting of the relationship, though Hermione skirted around her mother's last comment about the ring.

Hermione mentioned her parents' questions about her academic future, and their surprise when she hadn't been able to give them an answer. At the mention of her lack of plans, Severus made a noise of disbelief and shook his head.

"I just realised," he began when she raised a questioning eyebrow, "that for all my indecision about what to do and whether to leave, I haven't asked what you plan to do."

"Well, the offers aren't flooding in for me yet," she teased, earning a half-hearted scowl from him. Sobering, she added, "I'll have to wait for my NEWT marks, of course, but I thought I might like to do further study in Charms and Arithmancy."

She hesitated, wondering if he would be offended that she hadn't expressed an interest in pursuing potions. Hopefully he would understand her reasoning.

"Interesting choices," he commented, looking at her sideways. "Any particular reasons?"

"Well, they're both fascinating topics in their own right, but they also seem to be important when used in conjunction with potions."

"Indeed," he agreed. "But you haven't considered studying potions in itself?"

"Of course I have, but…" She hesitated, and he raised an eyebrow when she looked up at him. Sighing, she continued, "If I was going to study potions, I'd want to learn from the best, and… well, that would hardly be appropriate, would it?"

He didn't say anything, and her confidence faltered.

"That is… I mean, if you… if we're going to be… if you want me…" She trailed off uncertainly, suddenly wondering whether her assumption had been wrong. Had her earlier fears been correct, and he had decided he no longer wanted her to be a part of his future?

The worry must have shown on her face, because he sighed and pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her. "Of course I do, you silly girl," he murmured.

"I'm not a girl," she muttered, her voice muffled in his shirt, and she felt a chuckle rumble up through his chest.

"No," he agreed, pulling back and taking her face in his hands. He bent his head and added, "But you can still be silly sometimes, as I believe I told you once before."

Closing the remaining distance between them, he captured her lips in a searing kiss that left her breathless and grasping at his shoulders for purchase. Still cupping her cheek, he drew back only so far that he could look into her eyes.

"You still doubt me?"

"Don't you doubt me?" she returned, recalling his words last night. "What did you mean when you said I don't understand what I'm letting myself in for?"

He sighed again, and rose from the rock he'd been sitting on. Holding out his hand until she took it, Severus pulled her to her feet and beckoned for her to walk with him as he rejoined the path around the lake.

"I just don't want you to think a life with me will be easy, Hermione," he began. "Despite what the Prophet said, there will always be people who will be disapproving – disgusted, even – of our relationship… and there will always be people who wish me harm for what I've done."

"The Death Eaters are dead, Severus," Hermione said gently.

"Not all those who agreed with Voldemort's ways bore his Mark," he reminded her.

She frowned worriedly.

"You actually think some would try to- to hurt you now? There's no support out there for those beliefs anymore; they'd be crazy to try anything."

"People bent on revenge are seldom thinking logically," he said seriously. "I'm more concerned they might think to hurt you. I don't think it's likely, but it's possible, and you need to be aware of that."

Hermione was silent for a moment in the pretence of actually thinking over what he'd said. There was no decision to make; this wouldn't change her mind. Did he actually think it might deter her, that she would give up what they had on the off-chance some unknown wizard with a past grievance might come after them?

"I'm aware of the risks, Severus," she said. "I've told you before, I'm in no more danger being with you than I am being Harry's best friend, and if people are bent on revenge now, they'll be out to get him, too. I'm not going to hide away or change my life because of something that may never happen. I won't do it. If I've given you the impression I've been doubting you, it's… well, perhaps I was, but not because I'm worried for my own safety. Far from it, in fact – I always feel safe with you. I think it's more self-doubt I've been feeling this week."

Pausing for a moment, she searched for the best way to explain what she'd been feeling. Sorting out the jumble of thoughts and emotions was far from easy.

"I'm so used to planning ahead and being organised," she finally continued, "and suddenly I don't know what I'll be doing next week or next month, let alone next year. Don't get me wrong – as I said before, I think it's good to be leaving Hogwarts, but at the same time I guess I'm just a bit unsettled; everything is changing."

"Not everything has to change, Hermione" he said quietly.

Taking her hands in his, Severus turned to face her. "I'm leaving Hogwarts, I'm giving up the job I've done for all of my adult life, and I have few regrets about leaving those things behind; it's time to move on from here. But that doesn't mean I'll leave everything behind, and I don't intend to leave you."

"I'd like to see you try," she quipped, smiling up at him; deep inside, she felt a sudden burst of happiness at his simple words.

He smiled back for a moment, but then grew serious; releasing her hands, he trailed his fingers lightly up her arms, over her shoulders and behind her neck. Hermione felt his fingers brush her skin as he unclasped her necklace, and she hardly dared to breathe as he unthreaded the ring and stared at it for a moment where it lay in his palm.

Closing his fingers over it, he looked up at her, the depths of his eyes filled with such raw emotion that Hermione found herself suddenly having to concentrate on forcing air into her lungs. She'd been expecting this… no, hoping for this… but there had always been the lingering doubt he would have changed his mind.

"I'm not the easiest person to live with, Hermione," he began. "I can be temperamental, frustrating and often stubborn. I'm far too used to cutting myself off from others, and I'll admit the prospect of taking this job and– and becoming a part of society again, for want of a better description, is both daunting and strangely exciting. I don't make friends easily, I'm wary of most people and I generally expect them to think the worst of me. It would be foolish and naïve to think there won't be some people who'll look down on you for your association with me."

She opened her mouth to say again that she didn't care, but he shook his head briefly to silence her.

"But I do love you, Hermione," he continued softly, his eyes not leaving hers. "More than I thought possible, in fact. Perhaps it sounds clichéd, but you truly have taught me how to live again, and I couldn't imagine going forwards in life without you."

Taking her left hand in his again and lightly caressing her ring finger with the pad of his thumb, he held out his other hand, the ring still lying in his palm.

"Will you wear this for me now?"

"I will," she whispered without hesitation, amazed at the steadiness of her voice; her whole body suddenly seemed to be trembling with an avalanche of emotions.

He held the ring close to the tip of her finger and looked at her for permission. At her nod, he slipped it on her finger, and Hermione was amazed to find it fitted perfectly. After wearing it around her neck for the last three weeks, it felt strange on her finger… or different, at least. She supposed she should get used it. She intended to wear it for a very long time.

Looking up at him again, she didn't bother to hide the tears brimming in her eyes; for once, they were tears of happiness. Her throat was tight, but she managed to whisper, "I love you, Severus."

He laughed suddenly, a smile of pure joy creasing his features. Hermione shrieked in surprise as he grabbed her around the waist and spun her around several times before allowing her feet to touch the ground again. Such spontaneity was so unlike him… or maybe it was unlike the person he had been, not the one he truly was. Whatever the explanation, Hermione delighted in the happiness she saw in him and the knowledge it was she who was giving him such joy.

Pulling his head down to her level, she kissed him deeply, the world narrowing to the feel of his lips, his hands on her back and the warmth of the sun on her face. They stood wrapped in each other's embrace, neither speaking for what could have been a few minutes or close to an hour… sometimes kissing, else just leaning against one another, enjoying the moment. For a rare short space of time, there was nothing to worry about, nothing to do and nowhere they needed to be but with each other. The soft breeze coming off the lake stirred Hermione's hair, blowing a wispy strand across her face where it tickled her nose. She sniffed and tried to blow it away before Severus reached up and tucked it back behind her ear.

By the time Severus made the first move to break their embrace, the sun was becoming almost uncomfortably warm, and when they turned back for the castle, they walked away from the edge of the lake, in the shade of the trees.

If anyone else was about, taking a walk through the grounds on this fine June day, they would see Hermione walking arm in arm with Severus, laughing and talking.

Let them see, and let them wonder, she thought fiercely. If anyone asked, she would tell them exactly why she was so happy.

Talking about various things, Hermione wondered whether they would be leaving Hogwarts tomorrow night, after the ceremony. Severus confirmed his intention to do exactly that, and Hermione questioned where they would go.

"I was hoping you would accompany me to the house I took you to at Christmas," he said. "I told you back then I considered it simply a house, not a home… but I'd like that change. It's not a particularly large house, and it holds nothing of the splendour of Hogwarts, but it could be home, if you'll stay with me?"

"I think it would make a lovely home," she replied. Though her last visit there had hardly been under pleasant circumstances, the house itself had seemed cozy and welcoming… and as long as he was there, too, she would have no cause to complain.

He smiled again.

"Looks like I have a good deal of packing to do this afternoon and tomorrow, then," he said. "And I suppose I should owl St Mungo's my answer, too."

He exhaled a deep breath, as though finally making these decisions had taken a great weight from his shoulders. The weight of uncertainty, Hermione reflected. She had certainly felt it hanging over her, too… but no longer.

"The NEWT results might be coming via Owl Post this afternoon, too," Hermione said conversationally. "We should have had them earlier in the week, of course, but the Ministry has obviously had more important things to worry about since the exams. I'd like to have them today; tomorrow is going to be mad as it is, with everyone arriving for the ceremony and medal presentation."

They had reached the lawns leading up to the main castle doors, and as expected, a handful of people were enjoying the early afternoon sunshine. Some distance away, Hermione spotted the unmistakeable red hair of Ron and Ginny; the brother and sister were sitting with Harry, and all three had turned to watch her crossing the lawns with Severus.

"What I'd give to be a lacewing fly on the wall when you give them the good news," Severus muttered, a hint of bitterness creeping back into his voice just briefly.

"Don't be like that, Severus," she said, refusing to withdraw her arm from the crook of his elbow as she raised her free hand to wave at her friends. The three of them waved back hesitantly, curiosity written on their faces even from a distance. Turning her eyes back to the man beside her, Hermione went on, "They know how I feel about you. It might take them a little while to get used to the idea, but my friendship with them is far too strong to be lost simply because they don't agree with my choice in men."

Severus snorted, but he looked content nonetheless.

"I'll talk to them later today," Hermione promised. "You might be surprised how accepting they are. For now, though, you have a letter to send and a lot of junk to pack. I daresay you could use my help."

"Junk?" He feigned a cross expression. "I'll thank you not to refer to my possessions in such an impolite manner. I hope you'll treat them with more respect than that if you intend to help me pack them!"

Hermione laughed.

"Come on, let's get started," she said.

Leading the way up the stairs to the main doors, she and Severus entered the ancient castle for what would quite possibly be the last time.


To be continued…

Author's Notes: So close to the end now – only the epilogue to go! I hope to have that written some time next weekend, but real life may (as it so often does) get in the way again… this time in the form of moving house. sigh There's always something, isn't there?

Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed!

For anyone who is curious, Pointe du Raz is a real place on the coast of France, though by now it may be more busy and touristy than I've made it out to be. You can find a map of the Pointe du Raz area and a picture of the house on which the Grangers' was based on my LJ (link via my profile page).

As always, many thanks to Potion Mistress, who sent this chapter back in what has to be record time!

And some appropriate lyrics of the chapter, courtesy of Good Charlotte's 'Moving On'…

Life. Hope. Truth. Trust.

Faith. Pride. Love. Lust.

On without the things we've lost but things we've gained we'll take with us.