A/N: In this chapter, there are BIG spoilers of Thor and Avengers.
Their affairs as regards the kingdom kept them occupied and apart during the whole day. It seemed like the Norns didn't want them to meet and finally resolve their problems. At least, some of them. Nevertheless, when Loki was retiring to his chambers, skipping dinner out of tiredness, a guard told him that the king required his presence in one of the secret gardens of the palace.
Loki's heart throbbed all the way to the garden, which both of them knew very well since it was their mother's favourite place to be quiet and at ease with them when they were children. When he reached his final destination, he saw that Thor had had dinner prepared just for the two of them, candles being the only source of light. They were alone, at long last. No guards, no servants, no advisors. Just the two of them.
"We haven't been able to be alone for a minute all day. I thought we could enjoy some time alone together." said Thor, smiling affectionately.
"You were always quite a sentimental fool." Loki laughed, but he sat on the chair in front of the other god.
"I am, and with the years, I've become more and more sentimental." his smile was shining in the dim light. Loki rolled his eyes, but there was a small smile on his face as well.
They ate together mostly in silence, and when they did talk, it wasn't about anything relevant. Loki would have expected Thor to be eager, impatient to talk about everything they needed to, but he was wrong. There was no exasperation in his older brother, in fact, they enjoyed the whole dinner in peace. They ate, they laughed, and everything was relatively easy between them. Loki couldn't help but wonder if their lives were going to be like that once they had finally set aside their problems.
At the same time, he wasn't as innocent as to believe that this was the way the whole night would go. Loki knew that Thor needed to know some things about him that weren't really what he would have expected from him. Loki had done so many things that his brother wouldn't even think of, and he had to admit he was a little bit afraid that Thor wouldn't forgive him.
That thought followed Loki throughout the night, even when they had finished their dinner and agreed to go to Thor's chambers. Once they reached the room, they went straight to the balcony. The full moon was shining on both of them, being the only light between them, apart from the dim candle lights from inside. They were able to see almost all Asgard from there, even the Bifrost. Their home was breathtaking, there was no doubt about that.
"Sometimes I'd like to enter that head of yours and see what you are thinking so hard." said Thor with a smile, his voice merely a whisper.
"Well, that would be a problem for you. My brain thinks so much more than yours, that you would find yourself petrified from all the stimuli." Loki smirked, still looking at the bright sky. Thor chuckled. "I was just thinking how beautiful the moon looks tonight." he shrugged.
"It does. However, your skin under the moonlight looks so much better. I can barely refrain my hands from caressing you and ruining such a beautiful image." Thor caressed his cheek with the tip of his calloused fingers as if he was really afraid to make Loki disappear. The god of mischief chuckled.
"I could vanish right here, you know. Just to see you suffer." he taunted, instinctively leaning his head towards Thor's fingers.
"But you don't want that. Not anymore, I think." whispered the god of thunder, his hand travelling down Loki's arm to finally take his hand, which was resting in the rail of the balcony. "What did you want to talk about?" Loki sighed. He knew that this was coming, and he knew that he had to face it, but damn, he would rather skip this moment. If only he were able to travel in time…
"When you first visited me in my cell, you asked me why I did all that to Midgard." Loki started, turning around to have his lower back resting on the rail. He looked down, trying to gather all his thoughts to make some sense to his brother. "Truth is, I did it mainly because I was hurt. You have abandoned me, my whole life and existence had just turned out to be a secret weapon from our father, who also abandoned me. I was really vulnerable when I fell into that void. And Thanos knew it. That's why he offered me the mind stone in exchange for the Tesseract. I didn't want it to end in killing all those humans, I just wanted someone to believe in me, to understand that I was as able to rule as you are. I didn't lie when I said that all I wanted was to be your equal." he chuckled, but there was no humour in his laugh. "However, every time I tried to bring my own conscience back, Thanos would manipulate my mind for me to think that all I was doing was what was needed to do." he took a tentative glimpse at Thor, who was watching him intensely. Loki was uncomfortable being so honest, but he needed to. He needed to pull down all the defensive walls that he had put inside him all these past years. There was no future for him and Thor if he wasn't able to show him his vulnerable side. "Your next question that same night was about The Destroyer. At first, I sent him because I thought it was the only way to bring you back. As I told you, I was lonely and my whole life was turning upside down, so I needed you more than ever. But then, I saw how you protected that woman and how she tried to protect you and I was…enraged. I was here, missing you like a fool, and you were already moving on. To answer your question, I didn't hate you, because I couldn't possibly hate you. I have always loved you…" he gulped. "...and I always will." he finished. His hands were trembling, and he felt open and vulnerable like never before, but he reminded himself that this was necessary. Thor took both of his hands with his and searched for his eyes with his blue ones. Loki forced himself to look at the other god in the eyes.
"Thank you for telling me all this. I know it must have been very difficult for you to be so open and honest. I really appreciate it. I also apologise again, for leaving you alone when you needed me. And for not realising earlier how much you mean to me. I'm nothing without you, Loki." Thor smiled at him, love was all that he was showing on his face. Loki's heart started to beat faster. "While all I want to do right now is go back in time and kill Thanos again for using you, I am going to stay here, with you, loving you until you believe that it's the less you deserve."
Thor cupped his face with his hands and kissed him slowly. Loki put his hands on Thor's chest, feeling the steady heartbeat below his shirt. Loki was able to feel Thor's love through his affectionate and slow kiss, and for the first time, he opened himself to feel that love inside him. To feel it, to recognise it, to cherish it, and to give it back with his love, even when he doubted that he was capable of such a noble feeling. But there was nothing else in his heart that pure love for Thor: his brother, his ally, his friend, his enemy, his lover. Thor meant everything to him.
"I've missed you so much, brother. I will never let you go again." whispered Thor, nuzzling their noses together and leaning his forehead to Loki's. The god of mischief couldn't help the shaky breath that left his mouth, with a soft smile forming on his lips.
"Don't you think it's weird that you keep calling me 'brother'?" Loki asked without malice. He just had enough talking about feelings for a century or two.
"Not really. If you look up our ancestors, hundreds of them were married to their brother or sister. Does it bother you?" Thor asked, confused.
"No. But I have to admit that I think of a different definition of the word when it comes to us." he caressed Thor's chest with both his hands, while the blond dropped his hands to hug him by the waist.
"Please, enlighten me." the god of thunder asked, leaving soft kisses throughout Loki's cheekbones and jawline.
"Well, I think that the term 'brother' means fight together, be there for each other every time, and love each other no matter what. I think we excel at the last one, even when the love is not what is normally considered to be brotherly." they both chuckled. "But you can't compare us to our ancestors. They were married."
"That can be arranged. We can get married." Loki looked at him in disbelief, but then he just smiled. He was beginning to think that that was the way his whole life was going to be from that moment on.
"I might be your brother, but I'm still a prince. So you better offer me a really fine engagement ring, or you won't like the answer." he taunted while caressing Thor's chest.
"And what if I do…?" his blue eyes shone with emotion.
"I guess you will see it if you do it." he taunted again while licking Thor's lips playfully.
Loki knew the time for talking was over for the night when Thor's grip hardened and his lips found Loki's feverishly. The blond forced his tongue inside Loki's mouth, deepening the kiss and crashing their bodies together. Loki moaned in the other's mouth feeling the warmth of Thor's embrace filling his cold self.
Suddenly, Loki felt himself being lifted from the ground when Thor took him by his legs and sat him on the balcony's rail. Thor opened Loki's legs to position himself right in the middle of them, so as not to let their bodies separate. Loki crossed his legs and arms on Thor's back, and they both started to grind themselves against each other. However, Thor put a stop to their movements, kissing him sweetly instead of passionately. Loki separated their lips to groan, but he saw pure lust in Thor's gaze.
"I swear that if you try to make love to me tonight, I will turn you into a frog again and kill you." he said, gripping the blond's hair and pulling it. "I want you to fuck me so hard that I will forget my own name, understood?" he commanded in a raspy voice. Thor chuckled.
"As you wish, brother. However, I must insist we go inside to go on. The guards out here have already satisfied their imaginations, and the only one who is allowed to see you naked is me." he said, grabbing Loki by his legs once again and walking towards the bedroom.
Loki chuckled and hugged Thor tighter, leaving a trail of wet kisses down his king's neck. The night was just starting for the two of them.
