Three more weeks had passed. She was the expert of fake smile and feigned strength. But behind the bullet-proof appearance, the façade had begun to take a toll on her mental and physical health. Walked to the kitchen and forgot what she was looking for, zoned out in the middle of a conversation, stumbled over words in a speech. Half of the time she was operating mindlessly in an auto-pilot mode.
This morning was no exception. She woke up late, got into her car and remembered she left an important document at home. And when she went back to retrieve it, her clumsy hand spilled coffee onto the file. It was 9:53am, she had to be in court by 10am. She parked her car and ran up the stairs. She was rounding the corner when suddenly she crashed into Will who was walking in the opposite direction. She was hitting on Will, figuratively and literally.
The impact caught both of them off guard. Will's briefcase and Alicia's documents fell and scattered everywhere across the floor.
"I am so sorry! Oh my God, are you okay?" They instinctively caught onto each other's elbows to balance themselves.
"Alicia! yes I am okay, are you? I am sorry too, I was looking down at my phone."
"I am okay." They quickly recovered the documents from the floor. "I am sorry, I am running late and ran too quickly."
"It's okay. You should go, don't be late. See you."
She was a bit disappointed that after not seeing Will for so long, their "grand reunion" only lasted 2 minutes. But she didn't have time to think about that.
Right, court, focus Alicia.
When she got home later that day, she was so worn out that she eyes were half closed when she hopped into the shower, hoping to wash the fatigue away with hot steamy water. She was drying her hair when she heard the doorbell. Grace opened the door.
"MOM, WILL IS HERE LOOKING FOR YOU!" she shouted.
What!? Oh God.
"Oh okay, I'll be right there in a moment."
Oh crap, my hair is a mess and I have no make-up. Should I change into that dress? Never mind, I don't have time….er… okay, calm down, Alicia. She got herself fixed up as best as she could in two minutes and ran to the door. Grace was still holding the opened front door.
"Oh Will! Sorry, I was in the shower."
"It's okay, it's okay. Don't worry."
"What's up?" It was nearly impossible to contain her wistful hope and maintain her calm composure.
He handed her a file. "This morning when we crashed into each other, we mixed up the files. Here's yours, and I believe you have mine."
"Oh! I didn't realize that. Hold on, let me go find it." Few minutes later, she came back with Will's file. "This one, right? I am sorry."
"Yes, this is it. It's alright. Thanks." He slowly turned around to leave.
Oh no no no, he's leaving… do something, Alicia!
"Em… Will?"
"Yes?"
"Have you eaten yet? I made dinner, want to join us?" The invitation was out before she could stop herself. She kicked herself for being so direct.
Will hesitated for a while. "er… nah it's okay. You look busy, but thank you though." They both looked utterly embarrassed. His politeness made it even more awkward.
Grace saw how the color suddenly drained from her mother's face when Will said no, her disappointment was so palpable. So, she stepped in to rescue.
"Really? Are you sure, Will? It was my birthday yesterday, mom made me a cake. We can't finish the giant cake without gaining hundred pounds. Why don't you stay for dinner and help us out with that?"
Both Will and Alicia were surprised.
"Oh… Happy birthday, Grace. Hum… okay then, I will stay, hard to say no to a cake. Thank you!." He told himself that it was just rude to reject the birthday girl. That must be the only reason he stayed. It must be.
Alicia had her first genuine heartfelt smile in a long time. "Come on in!" She stepped aside to let him passed. "Beer or wine?" She asked him.
"Wine is good, thank you." They were terribly uncomfortable to be extremely polite around each other. Will looked like he had never been here before. "Anything I can help with?" He politely asked.
"No. It's almost done. Lasagna and salad, okay with you, right?" She knew he loved Italian food.
"Great. Smells good."
Her mind was racing, trying to find an appropriate word to say. Reconnection was like kindling the smallest, most delicate, almost non-existing flame. The slightest wind could put it out and condemn them back to devouring darkness once again. At the end, she decided that she didn't have to pretend or hide anything from Will. He also came to the same conclusion.
"Leesh, you've lost weight." He said with a worried tone.
It was true. Her job had become ten times more demanding. And under the scrutiny of the public eyes as the first lady of the state, she had to calculate her every step, every word carefully. But she knew, the real source of her anxiety was sitting right in front of her.
She shrugged. She wanted to tell him that life without him was insufferable. She wanted to tell him how much she missed him. So, she looked into his eyes and spoke the truth.
"Well, no one brings me late night pizza and cold beer in the office anymore, no one spoils me with hot chocolate on snowy days, and no one drags me out for a run on weekend mornings anymore."
Office filled with the smell of pizza and laughter every night. Blanket wrapped around their shoulders while they snuggled, room filled with aroma of hot chocolate and love. Running along the beautiful shoreline of Lake Michigan on weekends after a fulfilling breakfast. They looked deep into each other's eyes, reveling in sweet reminiscence of their past. Suddenly, the stupid feud, the pain, the longing… all seemed unimportant.
Their moment was broken by the oven timer. Grace came to the kitchen and asked "Is it done yet? I am starving."
"Sweetie, you just had a grilled cheese an hour ago." Alicia tried to lighten the mood. "Go set the table if you want to eat." Will smiled, suddenly ached for a domestic life like this.
They moved into the dining room. Zach finished a phone call and came join them.
"Mom, dad said he's on the way back."
What? Oh no… "On the way…... here?"
"Yes, he said he's coming back for dinner."
Alicia was in shock, her mouth hung opened like a fish. She looked at Will with immense sadness in her eyes.
Another glorious example of their bad timing.
Will cleared his throat and told Grace "I am sorry Grace, I just remembered I have a video conference tonight and I need to prepare for it. I need to go. Sorry, but thanks for inviting. Enjoy your dinner, and again, happy birthday."
He turned to Alicia. "May be next time."
"Oh, okay." It came out barely a whisper. Her bitterness was so noticeable, Zach and Grace exchanged eye contact.
Alicia walked Will to the door. "I am sorry, Will, I didn't know he would come."
"It's okay. I don't want to intrude your family time. Good night." She watched him turned around and got into the elevator. She stared at the closed elevator door for a long time, her devastation hadn't been lost on her children.
At the dinner table, Peter was the only one oblivious to what happened 20 mins ago. Grace told him funny things that happened at her school. His laughter and good mood were a stark contrast to Alicia's quiet gloom on the opposite side of the table.
It didn't take long for him to notice. "Hey babe, are you okay? Something's wrong?"
"Nothing. I'm fine." She jabbed her fork into her food with more force than needed. Her children could feel the growing tension in the air. She poked at the salad that she didn't have appetite to eat.
She looked down to avoid eye contact, said in a grudging tone "I thought you were supposed to be in Springfield today."
"I finished the work and rescheduled the meeting so that I could come back a day earlier. It's my daughter's birthday, I couldn't miss it, can I?" He looked at Grace and smiled.
"Grace's birthday was yesterday."
Zach and Grace both raised their eyebrows, no one dare to say a word.
"Well, I tried my best. I had an online meeting with the President of the United States yesterday, how could I get out of that?"
She knew she was picking a fight and being illogical. It took all she had to restrain her irritation. "Zach can you clean up the dishes later? My migraine is setting in. I'm going to go lie down." She retreated to her bedroom so quickly that Peter couldn't say another word. She was obviously upset, and he was clueless on why.
"What's wrong with your mother?"
Zach and Grace both shrugged. "I think she is just tired." Grace said.
After dinner, Peter wanted to check on Alicia in the bedroom. But when he passed by the kitchen, he saw two used wine glasses on the counter. One with lipstick stain, which was clearly hers. Peter looked at the other glass. He knew, not a lot of people could have the power to make Alicia Florrick this upset. "Someone was here just now before I came?" He asked his children.
Zach hesitantly nodded his head. "Yea, Will was here."
Well that explains it. He looked at her bedroom door, then he quietly left the apartment.
