A picture of Will and Alicia dancing at the gala was front and center in the news article. Headline says:

Governor's marriage once again in jeopardy? Saint Alicia's secret affair revealed.

Oh God… She picked up her phone about to dial Eli's number when Grace yelled from the living room.

"Mom, dad's on TV." Grace turned up the volume. "It's an interview he did today."

"Governor Florrick, there are rumors that your marriage is becoming vulnerable once again. There's a picture of your wife seemingly getting very close to her old boss at the Bar Association Gala. How do you respond to that?"

"It's non-sense. My wife Alicia and I are getting along better than ever. We had some tough time, but my marriage came out even stronger than before. In fact, Alicia and I are planning to renew our vow very soon. Our commitment to each other is unquestionable. I can put those gossip to rest once and for all."

Her heart it seemed so real. By announcing to the press that they were going to renew their vow, Peter had "marked" her once again. He was telling the world that no matter how he cheated on her, his wife was still loyal to him, Alicia still belongs to him. This mark had also become a death warrant for her relationship with Will, as if Peter was indirectly telling him to back off. One stone killing two birds, she sometimes forgot how good Peter was at this game of manipulation, what a true politician indeed. It was this skill that made him move up the political ladder quicker than anyone else, and (with her help) bounced back from a sex scandal and became the beloved governor. But she was sick of being his puppet.

She picked up the phone and called her husband.

"We need to talk."


"Why did you say that to the press? Don't you think it's something you should discuss with me first before letting the whole world know?"

"But I wasn't lying, we are renewing our vow, aren't we? You said yes… Don't tell me you are getting cold feet."

"I… I don't need the whole world to know."

"Why? Why are you act like you're shameful of it? Is it about Will again?"

"Oh God, Peter, really? You just have to bring him up again, every single time we argue?"

"Well, all these rumors wouldn't even start if you haven't made out with him at the dance floor in front of the cameras."

"Made out with him? Oh please… listen to yourself! I was dancing with a friend that I hadn't seen for a while."

"Okay, then what's the problem? You were not making out with him, just a friend, you said. The rumor started and I squashed it in the interview. We are renewing our vow, it's not a lie. So why are you getting so worked up?"

She didn't know what to say. She just shook her head, as if it would somehow defuse this unthinkable situation.

Peter softened down and held her hand. "Alicia, I am sincere. I am really committed to you this time. I don't even mind the rumors between you and Will anymore. We can move past this."

She looked him in his eyes, he wasn't lying. His earnest honesty broke her heart. Somehow, she hoped he wasn't being truthful. She hoped she would find him cheating on her again, so that she could have a solid excuse to justify her feelings for Will. She thought she had made a decision – to stay and protect her family, to end whatever she had with Will. She agreed to renew her vow. She left his firm and fought with him day in, day out. What was the point of all these? She was back to square one, drowning in uncertainty and the ache in her heart.


The silence between Will and her was deafening.

Peter and her had decided to go to Hawaii two months later to renew their vow. She agreed to set a date, because she couldn't find an excuse not to, because otherwise she would be breaking Will's heart for nothing, because otherwise she would be breaking her own heart for nothing. So, she forced herself to smile and pushed away her dreadfulness.

One night, Peter and Grace were looking at wedding venues on the internet. Grace seemed to be excited, Alicia wasn't sure if she was excited to plan a wedding, or excited that her parents are getting married again. Probably both.

She should be glad that her daughter was happy, right? Then how come the more excited Grace was, the heavier the rock in her stomach had become?

"Mom, do you like this wedding gown better, or that one?" Grace showed her pictures of wedding gowns. "This one is a bit lacey, but I like the neckline."

"It looks great, honey."

"That one has a longer train, and it's off shoulder. I think you would look like a Disney princess."

"That looks great too." She put on a smile that didn't reach her eyes, didn't even pay much attention to the pictures. Zach could see how hollow his mother's pretense was. His mother was surrounded by family, yet, her loneliness was obvious. "Mom, are you okay?"

Alicia seemed preoccupied. "What? Oh yes, of course. I am fine."

"Oh mom, can I go to the baseball game with Derek next Saturday? It's a big game, Derek's father got us tickets. Baltimore Orioles vs the Yankees."

"Sure."

Baltimore Orioles? Will's favorite team. She looked at the calendar...

"Zach, is it too late to get two more tickets? Can you ask Derek's dad?"


She stepped out of the elevator. The light from the only lit office made her heart skipped a beat. There was only one person who would stay in the office at 11:30pm.

Will tossed his baseball into the air and caught it, a signature move he would do whenever he worked on the strategy of a case. He tossed it again, but this time he missed. The ball dropped onto the floor and rolled away from him. His gaze followed the ball, until he saw Alicia picking up the ball for him.

"Alicia?" He tried so hard all day not to think about her, and finally his court case had distracted him and she was out of his mind. And now, she was standing right in front of him at the door.

"Hi"

Will gaped at her.

"Working late even on a Friday night?"

"The pathetic life of a bachelor. Why are you here?"

She smiled and tread slowly toward him. She handed him an envelope.

"What's this?" He asked. She silently told him to open it. "Baseball game tickets? I thought they sold out for this game." He looked at her in bewilderment.

She smiled sheepishly and walked closer to him. "Early happy birthday, Will." It's his birthday in a few days, he nearly forgot.

"Thank you" he mumbled.

Thousand words died at the tip of her tongue, Will's eyes made her forget how to speak.

"Will, I…" the words miss you just wouldn't come out no matter how hard she tried to push. She forgot the whole speech that she had prepared. She looked at him and hoped he would understand.

"I…" Maybe this is a bad idea.

"I… I hope you enjoy the game. My son Zach will go with his friend too, his friend's dad gave us extra tickets." Jesus, really Alicia?! Are you telling him that you gave him the ticket because you don't want it? C'mon…

Will smiled politely. "Thank you" he said again. He seemed like he didn't know what to say either.

It's definitely a bad idea. What on earth were you thinking? This is so lame…

"Anyways, good night." Then she fled. When she was crossing the threshold of his office, he spoke.

"Can I ask you something?"

She looked at him and nodded, but she maintained the distance between them.

"A year ago, on election night, we kissed in the car. Do you remember?" He said as he walked toward her.

"Yes."

It was a question that had been eating him alive. The possibility of getting an answer that he didn't like killed the courage to ask. "When we kissed, at that moment, did you already know that you would leave the firm and take my clients?"

This shocked her to the core. That's what he has been thinking this whole time? That I lied to him even at our most intimate moment? It hurt. It hurt so much. Tears spilled violently all of the sudden, she walked so close to him she could feel his breath.

"No! Of course not!"

"So… that kiss… was real?"

Her knees felt weak. Her heart sank to the bottom of the ocean.

"Is that what you have been thinking this whole time? You think that kiss was… fake?" She said the word fake as if it was a dirty word. She shook her head in disbelief. She thought she had passed through the most difficult time, but this… It was a new layer of pain, smothering her to death.

"Do you also think everything we had was all fake?" She looked straight into his eyes. "I don't know what we are right now, I don't know what the future holds. But the past… the memories, OUR memories… it's the only thing I have left. And you think it's a lie? When I told you it was the happiest I've ever been, you don't think I meant it?" Her voice cracked.

He had no answer. His eyes turned red too. "I don't know what to believe anymore."

A year ago, in that car on that night, she kissed him with all she had – her vulnerability, unadulterated honesty, waves and waves of emotions, pain, regrets, love, hope… her everything. She handed him her raw heart. And now, he denied all of it? She knew she had hurt him, but this… the magnitude of his agony overwhelmed her to an unthinkable level.

She cupped his face, they looked at each other's red-rimmed eyes. She pressed her lips on his, drew back and said "Is this fake too?" She kissed him again, "How about this?" She kissed his lips, his face, his ears, his forehead, his neck, "This? Is it fake too?" She kissed him again and again and again. "Am I lying now?"

Will held her tight and kissed her back passionately. She started to walk backward until her back hit the wall. Not once did he break the kiss. Adrenaline rushed through their bodies. Somewhere between the state of euphoria and total remorse, they forgot about their tragic fate and perpetual bad timing. At the moment their lips touched, the sense of liberty filled their lungs. It felt like for the first time in a year, they were allowed to breathe. Tears continued to fall, he could taste the saltiness and her poignant sense of regret on his lips.

Then suddenly he drew back.

Her heart stopped. He dragged her back to the brutal reality.

"No" he said breathlessly. "You can't do this to me, you can't be this cruel."

"Will…"

"No. Tomorrow you will regret it. Tomorrow I will wake up to a cold empty bed. Tomorrow I will back to be your dark secret, your shame, your guilt, your no-one. Three years ago, you said it was too complicated. All the complications are still here today – you still have two kids that you never want me to meet, you still have a husband that you would never leave. Tomorrow you will remember why you left. Tomorrow you will remember the thousand things that are more important than us. When tomorrow comes… tonight will mean nothing."

"I…"

"If you really care… then tell me you want a different tomorrow with me." He looked at her with pleading eyes that were so full of hope, so full of forgiveness, so full of love. With every fiber of his being, he fought his last battle for love, for her, for them.

She wanted to say yes so badly. But the word died on her lips, burned her tongue. She caressed his face. But then…

I think you would look like a Disney princess.

We can move pass this.

- This one is a bit lacey, but I like the neckline.

Our commitment to each other is unquestionable.

Voices of her daughter and husband echoed in her ears. The diamond on her ring finger weighed a ton, reminding her of her responsibilities, her duties, her oath, reminding her that her family was waiting for her to come home.

"Will… I…." the next word came out barely a whisper, but it was like a sharp blade that sliced through both their hearts, severed the final thread that held them together "… can't…".

Will frowned, looked at anywhere but her. Then he left.

When tomorrow comes, tonight will mean nothing…

Don't go… stay… kiss me… so that tonight won't end.

But tomorrow would come. Tomorrow, she would be someone else's bride.