The final chapter. The song lyrics are from 'Goodbye to you' by Michelle Branch. It's an excellent song.
"I'm afraid the test results were positive. You have HIV, Sam. It's likely that you passed it on to Pippa accidentally." Cameron flinched under the weight of the stares she was receiving.
"You're joking, right? I'm not HIV positive!" Sam was getting worked up, jumping to his feet and pacing. Pippa looked incredulous, and hurt.
"So… I'm going to die of AIDS because of some stupid experimenting that Sam did ages ago?"
"I'm afraid it looks that way." Foreman replied softly. "Because Sam's genes are slightly different you yours, he's not progressed to full blown AIDS yet. We've probably caught it in time to give you a good few years yet." Turning away from Sam, back towards Pippa, he said "unfortunately, the disease progressed more quickly in you, and the only drugs we can give you are for pain relief. I'm sorry." He stepped back out of the room, Cameron following, leaving Pippa and Sam alone.
"Pippa… I didn't know, I swear. I am so sorry…" Sam was begging to be forgiven, but Pippa just held up her hand, her face blank.
"I'm tired and I want to go to sleep. Could you let me rest?" She said, flatly. Sam looked lost.
"Yeah. I'll come back later… I need some time to think…" he left, closing the door behind him.
Chase was up on the roof, in House's usual spot. He was thinking, about what Pippa had meant to him, about what to do now that Pippa and Sam were both going to die. Was it worth going and trying to repair the chasm that had come between the three of them? He wasn't sure if he fancied being hypocritical and only offering them friendship because they were ill… but on the other hand, they were dying. The equation had changed. Was he being petty in the face of tragedy?
His sombre thoughts were disturbed by the opening of the door.
"Oh, I didn't realise anyone was up here, sorry I'll – " the voice broke off as the owner realised that it was Chase standing there.
"Hi Sam." Chase was quiet, his voice measured.
"Can I join you?" Sam asked, not waiting for a reply before moving over towards the edge of the roof, looking down at the passers by. "I killed her." He sounded emotionless. Chase was silent.
"I don't know why she came back – probably to apologise. I get that. It was a crappy thing to do." Chase bit down a laugh. Sam didn't know the half of it.
"But I loved her. I still do. I can't help it, any more than she could."
"You could have said something… she, she could have talked to me… instead, you just screwed each other, and left me. Do you have any idea how that felt… how it feels?"
Sam looked down and the tiny people moving about below.
"I'm sorry."
"Nothing you could say will make it better, Sam. The one woman who I have properly loved – ever – had an affair and is now going to die cause of it. Cause of you." He turned to look down, his face hard.
Sam started to sob, guilty tears running down his face.
"What are you going to do?" Cameron asked. She was sitting by Pippa's bed, holding her hand, trying to make the pain go away.
"I don't know." Pippa said through her tears. "I think I might just leave. Go and stay with my mother… I never thought this would happen…" she trailed off.
"I think that that would be a good decision." Cameron said, delicately. "When something like this happens, you all need time, and space… and having loads of men around you doesn't help." She closed her eyes, remembering that night, months ago, where she'd been high and taken advantage of Chase.
"I can go then? I don't need to stay stuck in a hospital bed 'till I die?"
"No, technically not. Although you'll have to go to a hospital at regular intervals just to make sure you're…"
"doing ok?"
Cameron smiled weakly. "Uh… yeah actually. They can sort out pain meds and try and make everything as comfortable for you as possible."
"I wanna go home. I'll ring my mom and stay with her."
"Is Sam going to go with you?"
Pippa's face hardened. "I don't think so, somehow."
A/N – Picture the scene with 'Goodbye to you' by Michelle Branch going through your head. If you don't know it, find it on the internet cough media player cough…
A few days later, when all arrangements had been made for Pippa's transfer back home, the staff was gathered by the front door, waiting to say goodbye. Foreman, Cameron, Wilson and Cuddy were surrounded by those nurses who had helped Pippa. She'd been a polite and kind patient – ready to joke and laugh with them, and they wanted to say goodbye.
Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over
with,
Tears form behind my eyes,
But I do not cry,
House was stood further back, unwilling to join in the 'big hug and kiss' session.
Counting the days that pass me by,
I've been searching deep
down in my soul,
Words that I'm hearing,
are starting to get
old,
It feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last
three years were just pretend,
Sam was also waiting by the door, a hopeful smile on his face, daring to believe that Pippa was going to forgive him.
And I said,
Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything I
thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The one thing that
I tried to hold on to,
Chase was hiding behind a pillar, unwilling to make a scene, but wanting, hoping that this was all a dream, and he'd wake up any minute, the strains of a long forgotten song echoing through his mind. He couldn't just let her leave… somewhere deep within him, she was forgiven. He no longer cared why she came back, just that she had. That meant something, at least.
I still get lost in your eyes,
And it seems that I can't live
a day without you,
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts
away,
To a place where,
I am blinded by the light,
But
it's not right,
Pippa came through the doors, holding her travel bag. She walked tall towards the doors, her head held high, tears slipping down her face. She hugged the waiting doctors and thanked the nurses, ignoring Sam completely, who dropped to the floor sobbing.
Pippa turned away and walked out of Sam and Chase's lives forever.
Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You
were the one I loved,
The one thing that I tried to hold on to,
And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I
want what's yours,
and I want what's mine,
I want you,
But
I'm not giving in this time,
Goodbye to you,
Goodbye to
everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
The
one thing that I tried to hold on to,
The one thing that I tried
to hold on to.
