Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! The mad genius JK Rowling does.

'Voldemort aka Voldy-Poo, The Dark Lord, You-Know-Who, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Uniter of Peeps, Destroyer of Stuttering Employees At a British Boarding School For Wizards, Enemy of Harry Potter, Lover of Complimentary Snack Bars, Hater of Pink Puppies, Oblivious to Happy Thoughts, Killer of Penguins, Leader of Death Eaters (He calls them snookie poofums in his mind), Winner of the High Evil Laughter award 12 Years in a Row, Stabber at the Essence of the Word Groovy, Hurter of Feelings, Stranger than the Lestranges, Baffler of Psychiatrists, Ambassador of Evil town, Sucker of Vampire Lollipops, Filler of Basins Which May Lead to The Indirect Death of a Certain Albus Dumblebore (or Bumdlebore as I like to call him), Possessor of Future Red Headed Girlfriends of Harry Potter, The Cheerful Curser, Imitator of Evil Black Clouds, Killer of People Who Refer to Him as Tommy Boy, Prefers to Think of Himself as The Real Star of The Harry Potter Movies, Best Evil Memory That Bursts into Light, Coiner of The Phrase "There is no good and evil…only power.", Master of Name Anagrams, Loather of Golden Webs Which Force Him To Duel Fourteen Year Old Harry Potters, Lover of Snakes Named Nagini, Passer of Parsletounge Powers, Splitter of Souls (namely his), Drinker of Coffee with JK Rowling, And Played By Ray (Ralph) Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine (Fiennes).

(Written before the 7th Book)

Hey Chelsea write me back during Math!'

Harry Potter crumpled up the piece of paper he had found lying on the street side of Privet Drive. Straightening up he tossed it into the trash bin.

Muggles are weird... He thought before disappearing in the middle of the street with a pop.