Disclaimer: All I own are the DVDs.
Author's Note: Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter posted. The finale got my muse a little distracted. Thanks so much to bridges and Lula for the beta. You guys are fantastic.
Two Days Later
Luke hadn't seen Lorelai for two weeks. Well, sixteen days to be precise. Not that he was counting.
Except that he was.
He knew that it had been nine days since he stopped looking up when the bell rang over the door.
He knew that five days ago he stopped keeping a pot of coffee on after the diner closed.
He knew that two days ago, as soon as the last customer had left, he'd flipped the sign to closed, locked the door, turned out the light, and had gone upstairs without glancing back.
He hated the myriad ways he was giving into the situation and becoming the guy who sat back and let everything change around him.
It was ironic that she hadn't wanted anything to change, hadn't wanted to ruin what they had, considering that her insistence on that is what seemed to have made things go spectacularly wrong.
After days of missing her, he started to wonder if he really might be able to push aside what he felt to salvage their friendship. The sadness he felt at that thought made it all the more clear he didn't want to give up hope for something more.
At this moment, however, they had nothing, and the longer they went without talking, the more discouraged he felt, and the more sure he became that nothing would happen unless he initiated it.
So, on the sixteenth day after their kiss, he decided not to be the guy who sat back and let life happen to him.
Once Luke chose a course of action, he didn't let himself think about it any more, in case he managed to talk himself out of it. After a quick errand, he prepared some food, packed it into a bag, and left the uncharacteristically quiet diner in Caesar's hands.
He didn't take the truck, because the physical action of walking felt more decisive, more assertive than driving, and breathing the crisp October air strengthened his resolve.
When he got to her house, he willed himself up the front stairs and gave a quick sharp knock. Through the glass, he could see her silhouette moving to the door and could hear that she was calling out something to Rory. As she opened it, her attention was still directed toward the kitchen and he could hear the playfulness in her voice.
She turned her head to him and froze. He could see the strain in her hand, her knuckles whitening as she gripped the door. "Luke?" she asked softly, shock written all over her face. "What are you doing here?"
"I…uh…" He lifted one of the bags he carried, as if it would answer the question. "I brought you some food."
"Why?"
Unsure, he said stupidly, "You haven't been to the diner."
She looked toward her feet for a moment, "I know."
"I thought you might be hungry." It was laughable really, as if he thought they were sitting here starving.
She gave him a curious look and asked, "So you just brought dinner?"
He faltered. "If you're…I can go. I shouldn't have just shown up. You're probably busy." Here was the flaw in his idea. Once he'd settled on a plan, he'd just acted. He hadn't really considered whether or not she'd invite him in, hadn't expected her to question it.
"No, don't go." She chuckled nervously, "Rory and I were just about to figure out what to do for dinner."
"I brought food for her too."
She gave him a hesitant smile. "Thanks. That's nice…Well, come on in," she said slowly, waving him inside. She waited a moment for him to shut the door before she started walking toward the kitchen, calling, "Rory, the decision is made."
"No Mom, not Chinese again. I'm so tired of Chinese," Rory complained.
"Well good, 'cause it's not Chinese."
"What are you-" Rory stopped short when Luke followed Lorelai tentatively into the kitchen. "Luke!" Her surprise was evident, but she gave him a genuine smile as she said, "Hey, it's good to see you."
"You too," he said, then nodded toward the bag in his hand. "I brought you some food." Though she was still smiling, she looked confused, so he added. "You two haven't been into the diner."
Rory gave a small nod and said slowly, "Well, good. I think you've just saved us from yet another night of Chinese take-out." In spite of her initial disbelief, she headed for the cabinet to get out plates and glasses as if it were the most normal thing in the world for Luke to show up with dinner when they hadn't spoken to him in two weeks.
Her easy acceptance of the situation made him wonder what she knew – how much Lorelai had told her about the disastrous date or the night in the diner. As he unloaded the burgers and fries onto their table, he saw Rory tip her head toward him and give her mother a questioning look. Lorelai responded with a shrug that clearly said, 'I don't know,' as she searched the refrigerator for beverages.
From behind the door of the fridge, Lorelai said to Luke, "Looks like we have water or beer."
"Water sounds good."
"I think we have some lemonade in the cabinet that we could mix up," Rory offered, reaching for a glass.
"Water's fine," he replied.
Lorelai filled their glasses from the water cooler, and then gestured nervously toward the table. "Well, I guess we should sit." She looked up and met his eyes. "Thanks for the food, Luke." There was warmth in her expression and though he could see tension in her movements and hear it in her words, he could tell that she was touched by his gesture.
He gave a small smile and a little shrug. "You're welcome."
It pleased him to see the way that Lorelai and Rory eagerly attacked their burgers and fries. He thought he heard Rory mumble something about missing the diner, but he couldn't be sure. He was determined not to repeat the experience of the awful date, so before the silence grew uncomfortable, he turned to Rory and asked, "So, how's it going at your new school?"
She smiled and answered, "It's going really well, now that I'm finally caught up."
"Caught up?"
"Well, I started the year late."
"And then there was the deer," Lorelai added brightly.
Rory rolled her eyes. "You're never going to tire of this story, are you?"
"Oh, come on," Lorelai said, "even you have to admit it's pretty ridiculous." Luke looked at her curiously and she explained, "Rory got hit by a deer."
"Hit by a deer? Isn't that-"
Rory sighed, obviously having made this clarification many times. "I was actually at a stop sign and the deer ran into me." She glanced at her mother. "It really is getting old, Mom."
"But it's such a good story. Best excuse for missing a test ever."
Luke looked at Rory with concern. "You missed a test?"
Rory nodded. "I was late for a test, so my teacher wouldn't let me take it."
"After we had stayed up the whole night studying too," Lorelai added. "We fell asleep at the kitchen table and woke up late, so Rory took the car. That's why the whole thing with the deer happened in the first place."
"We?" Luke asked, looking at Lorelai.
"I was quizzing her," Lorelai answered matter-of-factly. She pointed at Rory and continued proudly, "This girl knew everything there was to know about Shakespeare."
Luke couldn't help but be impressed at how much of her life Lorelai gave to Rory. It came through in the casual way that she talked about staying up late to help her daughter study – as if she'd never have considered otherwise. He gave her a warm smile, which she returned, though her expression became questioning as his gaze lingered.
He shifted his attention to Rory. "So, that's it? You couldn't take it?"
She nodded again. "But I got an extra credit assignment to make up for it."
"A reeaaalllly looonnng extra credit assignment," Lorelai whined. "She had to ignore me for a whole weekend to finish it."
"That must have been torture for you," Luke said with a smirk before turning to Rory, "I guess it's good you were able to make it up."
"Yeah. Mr. Medina's pretty nice. Isn't he, Mom?"
Lorelai nodded as she stood up and headed toward the water cooler. "Uh…yeah, he seems to be one of the sane ones at that place." She glanced inside the bag from the diner as she passed the counter. "You brought pie!" she said, beaming at Luke. Then she pointed at the second bag, giving a confused frown. "And a movie?"
"I just thought you guys like movies."
"We do like movies," Lorelai said, as she looked over at Rory. Luke saw them exchange questioning glances again and worried that he'd been presumptuous, inviting himself over like this.
Before he had a chance to say anything, Lorelai asked skeptically, "So…you went to the video store?"
"Seemed like the best place to get a video," he said dryly.
"I'm trying to imagine you browsing at the video store. What'd you get?" Luke gestured for her to look in the bag. After a quick glance, she cried, "Seriously?"
"What's wrong?" he asked, worried.
"Nothing," Lorelai answered excitedly. "You got The Princess Bride? It's a great movie, and we haven't seen it in ages." She narrowed her eyes and looked at him skeptically. "You picked out a movie called The Princess Bride? Seriously? Do you have any idea what it's about?" He tried to speak up but she gestured with her hand to quiet him. "Hold on, I'm trying to picture this. You're standing there, and if you got this movie you had to be standing near Pretty in Pink, but because it had 'pink' in the title, you opted for the video with the less-but-hardly-less girly title that has not only the word 'bride' in it, but also the word 'princess.'" Lorelai seemed barely able to hold back her laughter and Rory had the beginning of a grin on her face.
He would have been more annoyed if it weren't the first time in weeks that he'd heard genuine laughter from her. He responded with a gruffness that was as much pretense as anything, "Lorelai, I've seen it. I got it because it seemed like something you guys would like."
He saw a hint of surprise on her face at the idea that he's successfully chosen something they'd enjoy. Her expression softened as she admitted, "Well, it's a good choice." Looking thoughtful, she tilted her head to the side and asked, "Are you going to watch it with us?"
"If you want…If it's okay. I didn't mean…"
"I'll take that as a yes," Lorelai said, as she and Rory shared a grin.
After their moment of amusement at Luke's expense, Rory looked at her mom. "I don't think that I'm going to be able to watch it, though." She slid away from the table, moving to put her plate and glass into the sink.
"Why?"
"Well, I told Lane I'd come over."
"Oh," Lorelai said, her voice falling almost imperceptibly.
"Yeah, she mentioned that she could use some help studying for her biology test tomorrow, so I was going to go over there… "
"Do you have to go now?" Lorelai asked, her face growing worried.
"There's pie," Luke said weakly.
"You'll miss Cary Elwes anemic little mustache," Lorelai added.
"That's okay. I'm pretty full now. Maybe if there's some pie left, you could save it for me? I'll be back in a couple of hours." Rory picked up her backpack out of her bedroom and headed for the door while Lorelai stared after her.
When she turned back to Luke, she looked a little dumbstruck. "She just turned down pie."
Luke stared back at Lorelai as the suddenness of being alone with her hit him. It appeared that she was having the same realization. He could hear the clock on the stove clicking off seconds in the silence.
"Well, I'll have some pie," she said hastily, as the silence wore on. "I never turn down pie."
"No, you really don't."
She got up quickly to grab some plates from the cabinet.
"Here, I can…" he said, taking them from her.
"You'll need…a knife," she stammered, her voice rushed.
As he pulled out the pie and opened the container, he could hear her rummaging through the silverware drawer. Eventually she handed him what appeared to be a very old steak knife and two forks. Without any more to do, she looked flustered. He could feel her eyes on him while he cut the pie and then, he heard her say nervously, "Hey, do you want a beer? I think I'm going to have a beer."
"Sure, a beer would be good."
She pulled two beers from the fridge, opened them, and walked over to him just as he plated a piece of pie for each of them. It was a sign of her nervousness that she didn't tease him about the fact that he'd cut a piece of pie for himself. They both stood there, with their hands full, looking at each other for a moment before he said, "Should we eat here, or," he gestured toward the living room, "in there?"
"I guess in there, so we can start the movie."
He nodded and she transferred one beer to her other hand to leave a hand free to pick up the bag from the video store. When she got to the living room, she set the drinks down on the coffee table and pulled the video out of the bag. "I still can't believe you brought a movie."
"We don't have to…I mean, if you don't want to watch it. It was just an idea."
"No, it's good. It's a great movie. I want to watch it." He heard the words, and even believed them, but he could tell that she still wasn't comfortable being alone with him. She put the tape in and then stood rigidly in the middle of the living room as she mashed buttons on the remote.
He placed the plates on the coffee table, but then regretted not having something to occupy his hands, as he too stood awkwardly, unsure if he should sit yet.
Once she had fast-forwarded through the previews, Lorelai seemed to realize they were still standing. She gestured at the sofa. "Um…we should…sit."
He nodded and settled himself at the far end of the sofa, folding his arms across his chest. She sat down at the other end of the couch, leaning against the arm with her legs tucked underneath her.
They watched the first few minutes of the movie in relative silence, periodically exchanging nervous glances. Luke was glad for the distraction of his pie during the initial kissing scenes, and the fact that he finished the pie was a clear indicator of the level of his nervousness. The longer the silence between them stretched, the more uncomfortable Luke became. He still hadn't figured out exactly what he had hoped to accomplish by coming here, but recreating their horrendous date had not been a part of the plan.
In a desperate attempt to break the ice, he said softly, "Lorelai?"
"Yeah," she said, turning to him.
"You okay?"
She nodded, her expression confused, "Yeah, why?"
"You're just…quiet. I sort of figured you'd spend the whole movie mocking and commenting." He kept his voice light, teasing.
She gave him a little smile, "Maybe I was trying to spare you. Keep you from complaining about me yammering on."
"Ahh. Well, thanks for that, I guess."
"Or maybe it's just that this movie does such a good job of mocking itself, my comments are superfluous."
"Superfluous?"
"You know, unnecessary, extraneous."
"I know what it means. It's just sort of an obscure word."
"Hey, you don't think I know obscure words? I'll have you know that Rory's been teaching me all sorts of useless vocabulary. Stupid SAT words and rich kids school."
He chuckled. "All the better for your yammering."
She glared at him playfully. "Are we going to watch the movie or what?"
He grinned as he turned back toward the movie again. This time, the silence that followed felt more companionable and less tense.
The relative quiet continued until the 'Man in Black' on the screen pulled himself over the edge of the cliff and prepared for the sword fight with the Spaniard. Lorelai smiled and sat up as if in anticipation. Luke caught her eye and smiled.
"What?" she asked.
He gave a casual shrug. "I'm glad you like it."
"Are you kidding? It's a classic." She lowered her voice, and intoned, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
"And so it begins," Luke muttered under his breath.
"What?"
"I knew you couldn't really stay quiet that long," he teased.
"Hey!" she protested indignantly. "How can you possibly watch this without talking. We've got the whole 'I am not left-handed. I am not left-handed either' thing going on. And then there's that great bit with the giant."
"I thought you were going to let the movie mock itself."
"I think I'm going to help out a bit."
"Imagine my surprise," he said, shaking his head in amusement, but secretly relieved that the ice seemed to have been broken further. For the next several minutes, Lorelai was in her element, talking along with the dialogue and making witty observations.
At one point she laughed, and he looked over at her. "What?"
"This whole Dread Pirate Roberts thing. He doesn't look like the dread pirate anything. He's got that silly mask, and he's got both hands and legs. Where's the eye patch, buddy? Or the hook?"
Luke just shook his head and chuckled as she continued to taunt. He was so wrapped up watching Lorelai amuse herself that when Buttercup and Westley threw themselves into their passionate reunion kiss the sudden uneasiness took him by surprise.
He hadn't realized just how weird it was going to be watching people kissing while sitting on the sofa with Lorelai. Part of the reason he'd chosen this movie was that it seemed rather tame in that regard. So as the kissing continued, he focused just to the side of the television screen, trying to hide his discomfort and hoping for the scene to pass quickly. And it would have if the stupid sick kid hadn't drawn so much attention to it.
'They're kissing again, do we have to hear the kissing part?' I'm with you on that one, Luke thought.
He heard the grandfather respond, 'Someday, you may not mind so much.'
"That's right, kid. Just wait 'til you meet Winnie Cooper and you'll learn just how wonderful kissing can be."
It took Luke a moment to realize Lorelai had spoken, and another moment to realize that he had no idea what she meant. Except that she'd said something about kissing being wonderful. He looked at her, confused, and asked, "What?"
"Huh?" She looked just as confused.
"Who's Winnie Cooper? You said…"
He saw recognition dawn across her features the moment she realized that she'd said something potentially awkward. Though she caught herself quickly, her voice was hurried and flustered. "Winnie Cooper, Kevin Arnold?" When he showed no sign of recognition, she continued, talking quickly while pointing at the TV. "That kid, Fred Savage, was in The Wonder Years. He was Kevin Arnold and Winnie was the first girl he ever kissed, after her brother died in Vietnam." She looked up and he shrugged.
She looked a little disappointed, but then shrugged herself. "I shouldn't be surprised. It's not the kind of thing you'd expect a twenty-something guy to watch." She sighed. "I used to watch it with Rory when she was little. Mia would let us watch TV if there was a room that wasn't being used. We usually just watched whatever was on. We weren't too particular, except for Wednesday nights we had to watch The Wonder Years. There was something about watching kids grow up in the sixties. Things were complicated, but they were simple at the same time. I don't know, I guess it was just a nice world to immerse ourselves in once a week." She looked up again, suddenly shy, as if she was worried she'd revealed too much.
He nodded encouragingly. "It sounds nice."
She smiled. "It was. You know, it's funny. I remember thinking that everyone I knew in high school was probably drinking beers while they watched 90210 or Melrose Place and there I was in an empty room at the inn watching The Wonder Years with my daughter."
"You were probably having more fun."
"Yeah," she said, nodding as she gave him a warm smile. "I think we were."
Before they had a chance to have another one of their undefined mutual gazes, Lorelai made some comment about the action on the screen and brought their attention back to the movie.
Luke felt a subtle shift in the atmosphere then. They'd managed to dissipate their fear with jokes at the start of the movie, but tension had remained, obvious in the stiff way they were sitting and the occasional nervous glances Lorelai kept giving him. But now much of the tension had faded as well. Lorelai relaxed further into the couch, and she met his glances with easy smiles.
He felt like he'd passed a test, though he wasn't sure if her sharing of the anecdote was the test itself or the reward.
After a few more minutes, Lorelai asked, "Hey Luke? Can you toss me that pillow that's sitting on the chair?"
"Sure," he said, stretching to reach the pillow and then handing it to Lorelai.
She laid it against the arm of the couch, fluffing it briefly. Still propped on her elbow, she looked back at him. "Thanks."
"No problem." He paused, looking at her, wondering if he'd outstayed his welcome. He had shown up unannounced, after all. "If you're, y'know, if you're tired, I can go."
"No, I'm good. I'm just getting comfortable."
Luke nodded and she relaxed onto the pillow. As she adjusted her position, her feet brushed his leg and she startled, "Sorry. I don't need to hog the whole couch."
He put his hand on her leg to still her. "You're fine. Don't move on my account." He left his hand there as emphasis and she nodded and relaxed again into the pillow. Though she seemed willing to stay put, he continued to let his arm rest across her legs, his hand curled loosely around her right ankle. He let it stay there for a few seconds, then a minute, then a few minutes, wondering the whole time if she was annoyed by it.
He'd finally managed to convince himself that if Lorelai didn't want him to be touching her she would have done something about it, when he heard her ask, "Luke, why did you come here tonight?" He looked over at her, but she continued to look straight at the screen.
She'd spoken quietly, and if he'd wanted to stall for time he could have asked what she'd said. But he'd definitely heard her, so he shrugged and said softly, "I wanted to see you." When she didn't respond, he added, "I just don't like how things are."
"Okay," she said slowly and then, after a long pause, added, "Neither do I." He could hear a little relief in her voice, though he wasn't sure what she was relieved about.
A few minutes later, she spoke up again, just as abruptly, "So, are we…is this a date?"
In his surprise at her question, he just stammered, "I don't ..uh…no, not a date."
She nodded and there was another long pause, long enough so that he thought she'd been satisfied with his answer. But then she spoke again, "I just…I don't know what it means that you're here. It's okay that you're here. You've been here before. But we're watching a movie and we've never done that before and I didn't even know that you liked movies…" Her voice was small as it started to trail off. When she spoke again, Luke could barely hear her over the sound of the movie. "And you're…we're sitting here all comfortable on the couch…"
He somehow knew that she was thinking about his hand on her leg, which suddenly felt very large and heavy against her ankle. He thought maybe he should move it, but that would draw attention to the fact that it was there, and that he was thinking about it being there. So instead, he repeated, "I just wanted to see you."
"You said that…but…why? What are we doing here?" For the first time since she'd asked why he was here, she looked over at him, her head propped up on her hand, gesturing between them as she spoke.
He sighed, suddenly feeling like he was at a decision point. The situation reminded him of exploring the woods around the family cabin in the summers. He'd always get to a point where he would have to decide whether to go forward into a place he'd never been, or go back to the familiar parts of the woods. He would sometimes stand there for minutes at a time trying to decide what to do. The indecision he felt now reminded him of those moments, though this situation felt more momentous than wandering the woods as a child.
"I don't know," he confessed. He could sense Lorelai's frustration, could almost see her mentally groping for the question that would actually get them to the issue at hand. It was almost the same frustration he heard from Liz, when she'd accompanied him on his walks. He'd always been cautious, and she'd been adventurous, so it had never been any surprise to him at all that he was more likely to forge ahead if she were there urging him along.
Lorelai spoke again and though she whispered the words, he could hear them clearly, "You kissed me."
He tried to swallow, but his throat felt suddenly dry. "I know."
"Why?" she asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" he asked, his voice pained.
She let out a defeated sigh, her shoulders sagging at his reluctance to answer her questions directly.
He felt himself standing in those imaginary woods again, looking into the unknown and then back toward home. In this current situation, he knew the way back and he knew what was waiting for him there. It was safe. He just wasn't sure it could make him happy.
But the way ahead looked uncharted, full of poison ivy, prickly bushes, and unknown terrain. And he didn't know where it led.
It did, however, look far more interesting.
He took a deep breath, looking down and rubbing his thumb on an imaginary spot on his knee. "I like you…have feelings for you. And I know that it's possible that you don't," he looked up at her briefly, "have feelings for me." He looked down again. "So if you don't…" he sighed, "I'll get over it. But if you do-"
"You can do that?" she cut in.
"What?"
"Get over it?"
For a moment he thought she was asking him to do just that, but then he caught a touch of hurt in her expression, as if she were wondering if he could get over her so easily.
"I don't know," he admitted, lifting his eyes to her as he continued. "But if that's what you wanted, I would try." She looked back at him with an unreadable expression. He sighed and ducked his head. "I just…if we both feel something, I don't understand the point in ignoring it."
"Rory said the same thing," she said quietly.
"Rory?"
"That day with the list."
He wanted to know more about the list, and about that day, but she didn't go on. He didn't know how to respond and she'd given no indication, so he waited, watching her pick at the edge of the couch cushion.
Still looking away from him, she said, "I do."
"What?"
"Like you…have feelings…whatever." She had twisted enough so that he could see her face, though it was partly hidden behind her shoulder. She gestured with her hand as she spoke.
"Yeah?" he said, unable to help the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. Though he tried to hide it, she saw it and gave a little smile of her own, and then a very small nod, as if she'd been reluctant to admit it. He didn't realize that his grip had tightened on her ankle, until she propped herself up into a sitting position. He started to move his hand, but before he had a chance, she covered it with her own and adjusted her position, flipping her left leg so that she was sitting cross-legged next to him.
He turned his hand to take hers more fully into his own, but then just looked at her, not having any idea what to do now that they'd confessed their feelings. This was truly uncharted territory, sitting here holding Lorelai's hand after they had both confessed feelings for each other. It was suddenly nothing like wandering the woods around the family cabin. Rather, the terrain he pictured in his mind was steep, rocky, and dangerous.
She looked just as uncertain, sitting there looking back at him. After a few moments, she slipped her hand out of his, reaching to palm his cheek while holding his arm with her other hand and using it to pull herself to her knees. Slowly, she leaned in and kissed him gently. Her arm slipped further around his shoulder and the hand that was warm on his face slid around so that her fingers could tangle in the hair poking out from beneath his hat.
He felt his arms envelope her almost unconsciously, one high around her shoulders, the other at her waist. He resisted the urge to crush her against his chest, letting her take the lead, letting her lips play over his. She pulled back slightly, saying teasingly. "I guess you were waiting for an invitation."
Luke loosened his embrace and let her sit back on her heels, watching her chest rise and fall with each breath, seeing her lips curve into a small smile.
"What did you expect?" Though he kept his voice gentle, he could hear the defensive tone. "When I kissed you before, you ran off."
She nodded and her smile faded. "I know," she said, fidgeting with her hands in her lap.
"Why?"
She didn't respond right away, and when she did her voice was uncharacteristically quiet. "We had that horrible date…" She looked up as if she expected him to argue, but he just gave her a wry smile, and she shrugged. "And it just seemed like that was a sign, you know, that we were just supposed to be friends."
"Just because we had one bad date?"
"I was afraid it would get worse, and we'd end up hating each other." He shook his head in response and she shrugged again. "So, we were friends and I thought we were both okay with that, but I guess we really weren't."
"But you were still convinced it wouldn't work?" he asked.
"Things don't usually work out very well when I like a boy."
"I'm not a boy, Lorelai." His voice felt deeper than usual, almost forceful.
That earned him a sly smile, and an appreciative glance. "No, no, you're not."
He chuckled, but then grew serious, "So, what changed?"
She took a breath and let it out slowly. "When I ran away, you came to find me…" Lorelai's eyes dropped back to where her hands lay in her lap. "Most guys don't."
"Their loss," he said softly, and in a moment of unusual decisiveness he reached for her and pulled her toward him, his arms wrapping around her again as he kissed her tenderly. She responded in turn, leaning against his chest.
With that step, he'd thrown himself further along the path, further away from the safety of home. And because he'd spent the evening watching a movie with Lorelai, the path seemed to include one of those rickety bridges with the rope and the missing planks that movie heroes always seemed to run into at the most inopportune times. And, though he wasn't entirely sure he trusted it to carry him across unscathed, and he still didn't know what was on the other side, he stepped out onto it just the same.
This time he didn't worry about crushing her to him. And this time when she parted her lips he didn't mumble stupid words to ruin the moment; he took the invitation. After a few minutes of blissful kissing and increasingly assertive hand-roaming, he pulled back so that he could look at her.
He brushed his thumb across her cheek. "You okay? Is this okay?" he asked, pointing back and forth between the two of them.
She smiled. "You mean the kissing?"
"Yeah, the kissing." He hesitated. "and…whatever…"
"I'm definitely down with the kissing," she said with a grin, and then, looking at him for emphasis, added, "definitely. I'm a little worried about what happens after the kissing."
He looked at her with concern. "We don't have to…I'm not expecting...
"Oh I'm not talking about that," Lorelai chuckled as she let her fingers trail down the front of his shirt. "I'm totally okay with that. Very good with it, in fact."
"Well…uh…good," he stammered. "Then, what?"
"It's the rest of it," she said with a grimace as she settled back on her heels again. "It's the dating/relationship part I'm not that good at."
Watching Lorelai, with her sexy smile and her exploring fingers, Luke suddenly had clarity. He got her – or at least this bit of her. He'd never doubted that Lorelai enjoyed sex, was comfortable with sex. With all the innuendo that floated around with her he sensed that she had a healthy appreciation for the giving and receiving of pleasure (and there was a thought that would have made him weak in the knees had he been standing).
But he could also tell – and he knew from watching her – that she didn't let herself get emotionally invested in men she dated. He knew she dated. He'd heard enough snippets of her conversations with Sookie or Rory, or overheard Miss Patty and Babette's gossiping, to know that she had her share of dates. She'd even shared some of her more amusing dating anecdotes with him. But she'd never seemed to let any of those dates into her Stars Hollow life, never brought them to town functions, or introduced them to Rory, as far as he could tell. And she'd never referred to anyone as her boyfriend.
He wasn't sure what that meant for him. Sure, he wasn't complaining about the idea of getting physical with Lorelai. No, not complaining at all. It's just that he wanted more than sex and he hoped that she did too.
With that thought in mind, he reached up to still her hands, wrapping them in his and holding them against his chest. "So, what are you worried about?"
She shrugged and looked down at their entwined hands as she said softly, "Rory said that if I dated you, that we'd break up and we'd never be able to eat at the diner again."
He responded with surprise, "Rory said that? I thought she…"
"Well, her thoughts on the matter haven't been entirely consistent."
He considered for a moment and then said simply, "It matters what she thinks." Lorelai looked up at him and he could tell from the warmth in her eyes that she appreciated his consideration of her daughter's feelings. "Would this bother her?"
"I don't think so…" She looked at him hesitantly.
"But?" he asked.
"What if she was right?"
He gave her hands a squeeze and let out a sigh, "You'll always be able to come to the diner."
She smiled ruefully, "That's easy to say now."
"We'll never know if we don't try."
"I think I've heard that somewhere before," she said, giving him an uncertain half smile. "So, what happens now?"
"I don't know, but I'd like to take you out again." He paused for a second, frowning. "Actually, no. I don't want to take you out again."
She looked shocked. And hurt.
"That's not what I meant," he said apologetically. "I just…well, you were there. I don't want to take you out and have it be awkward all over again. How about if we try something different? Let me make you dinner here or something. Maybe for you and Rory."
"It's not much of a date if Rory's here. Besides, Rory never meets anyone I date."
He raised his eyebrows and said dryly, "You are aware that I've met Rory, right?"
She gave him an exasperated look. "I just figured if we were going to do this that we'd want an opportunity to be alone. Maybe you could make me dinner at your place." She teased him with a suggestive look, leaving him wondering just how much to read into her flirtation.
He swallowed thickly. "We could do that."
"Good. It sounds like a plan." She glanced over at the TV and he followed her gaze. Finding the movie credits rolling, he gave a little chuckle, and she quipped, "Well, I guess we broke the 'no interruptions during the movie' rule. It's a good thing we've both seen it before."
"I'd like to think they were worthy interruptions."
She grinned. "Very worthy." She punctuated the thought with a few kisses, but then pulled back, saying, "Rory's going to come home soon. I don't want her to walk in on…"
"You making out with the diner guy?" he finished.
She responded with a smile, but then her expression grew serious. "You're not 'the diner guy.' You're Luke."
He liked the way that she emphasized his name, the significance she gave it. Like he was special. But something in her voice made him wonder if that was something that worked for or against him.
"Well, either way, she'd probably be permanently scarred," he said lightly, trying not to think too hard about what she'd meant, "so I should get going." He pointed at the TV. "I can take the video back."
"Okay." She nodded and retrieved the video from the machine and then followed him to the door, tapping the tape against the heel of her hand. "So…uh…here," she said, handing him the tape. "Thanks for dinner and the movie." She hesitated, then smiled. "I'm glad you came over tonight."
"So am I."
Somehow, even though they'd been relatively comfortable with each other a moment ago, the abrupt transition had brought back their nervousness. He stood awkwardly, trying to determine if the situation called for a goodnight kiss. Lorelai solved his dilemma by resting her hand on his shoulder and pressing her lips to his. He responded by pulling her into his arms, cradling the back of her head in his hand as he returned her kiss.
When he pulled back, he heard her mumble, "Well, at least we know that part seems to work."
He smiled. "It most certainly does."
"I'm just not sure about the rest of it," she said sadly.
"We'll figure it out," he said, more confidently than he felt.
"Yeah?" she asked. "How do you know?"
He took a deep breath and said slowly, "Because the last two weeks sucked."
Her expression softened, "They really, really did."
"So, will I see you at the diner tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Me and Rory both."
"Good," he said as he opened her front door. "Night, Lorelai,"
"Night, Luke."
Luke couldn't help smiling as he walked back home through the cool night air. He knew that during the events of the evening, he'd committed to a path, and had started on a treacherous journey. And though he knew that the further he let himself go into the unknown the higher the possibility was that he'd be hurt, he thought he'd really like to know where the journey led.
Or, at the very least, if they'd survive their second try at a first date.
To be continued
