A/N: Yay it's snowing outside! A proper Tim Burton Christmas atmosphere and I have Mr Wonka at last on DvD. Not done badly considering I'd only seen the movie twice before :)


Balanced on the low rafters of the Inventing Room, the two swordsmen were still battling, although, the form tended to border on circus-play. Every time one dropped a sword, the other caught it and kept it until it was wrestled back by its owner.

Jack dodged a swipe at his stomach and blinked away the fear of being sliced in half. He stepped backwards but lost his footing. Windmilling frantically to stay upright, his cutlass slipped through his fingers.

The horseman leapt into midair to catch it, landing effortlessly on a bulk of machinery.

Sparrow steadied himself and smiled cheekily at the spirit.

"Thanks ever so much."

The horseman twirled the weapons over its head, an action that made Jack's face fall. Both blades flew towards the pirate and struck him in the chest. He toppled from the rafter, his back slamming onto the body of another of Wonka's contraptions.

"Stop stabbing 'oles in my suit!" he roared and slid to the ground.

His rival jumped down to his level. Jack strode towards it, having removed only his own weapon. He pointed irritably to the horseman's sword that jutted beneath his collarbone.

"If you please," he growled.

The headless horseman acknowledged and pulled out the blade.

Sparrow panted for breath.

"There's got to be another way to fight."


Constable Crane had planned on slowing the horse enough to glimpse the rooms that were passing him in a blur. Unfortunately, the equine spirit had planned on making its hijacker violently sick.

Ichabod flattened as the ceiling lowered, his hands linked at the front of the horse's neck. Resisting the urge to shut his eyes, he scanned the streams of colour for a figure in plum.

Daredevil came to a dead stop in an attempt to hurl his unwanted rider, then reared as high as he could. The constable finally lost his grip and fell, narrowly avoiding a trampling when the horse cantered back to find its master.

Exhausted, Ichabod found his feet for the umpteenth time that day. He was dizzy, he was hungry, and he knew he didn't have half the stamina that Jack did.

He was on the verge of letting himself collapse when an Oompa Loompa tottered out from another passageway. It stopped to look at the dishevelled constable, raised its eyebrows, and continued on its path.

"Wait!" Crane croaked. "You there, little…man!"

The Oompa Loompa turned and blinked at him.

"Oh good, you can understand me," Ichabod said, relieved. "I need to find Mr Wonka."

He received a blank stare.

"Your boss. Looks a bit like me, hair so high -." Crane mimed a curtain-style hairdo. "Wears a hat." He waved a hand over his head. "Smiles like this…?" The constable made an awkward grin that showed all of his teeth.

The Oompa Loompa couldn't hold its expression any longer and roared with laughter. It pointed to a passage to its right before scurrying off with a loud whooping noise.

Ichabod sniffed, hoping to restore some of his pride, and headed down the corridor. To his dismay, he saw it was a dead end, yet he was not about to dismiss the possibility of another secret door.

He marched along the suspiciously empty passage and smacked headfirst into an elevator.


The pirate and the horseman stared each other down, eye to collar, each wanting for the other to show a sign of weakness.

"What are you waiting for? Hit me," the captain challenged.

The horseman struck out and slammed a card on the table. Jack snatched it eagerly.

"Now," he said. "Are you sure you won't fold while you still can?"

The collar shook from side to side.

Jack's gold caps sparkled as he smiled. He laid out his hand.

"Royal flush."

His opponent bashed its fist on the tabletop.

"You put a whole new meaning into losing your 'ead, mate, you know that?" Sparrow stated. "You got to accept that the better man won as fair is fair."

The horseman pointed to the Ace poking out of Jack's braids.

"Ah," said the pirate as he removed it. "Perhaps fair was a bit overstated, but don't think I missed you slipping your unwanteds down your neck'ole."

The headless spirit folded its arms.

Jack sighed.

"Best of three?"