A/N: Woohoo, I got another chappie done. Hope you like it. Bit more action rather than wit in this one. Please, please review if you haven't already, it makes me feel happy and pressures me to write more, hehe!


To describe the scene that was taking place in the vast abyss of the factory's core would be close to breaching the copyright of George Lucas. The elevator tracks crisscrossed the void like endless, glittering harp strings. Amongst these, throughout a descent of miles was a furious and colourful war. Fireworks and numerous other spectacular explosives peppered the blackness as strange winged insects zipped about in an effort to avoid them, buzzing dangerously.

The Great Glass Elevator helter-skeltered through the chaos, speeding missiles ricocheting off its tough shell like dried peas. It screeched to a halt alongside a large platform suspended against one of the walls of the elevator shaft.

Its occupants staggered out, even Mr Wonka feeling the nausea.

"Really gotta get that fixed," he whimpered.

The whole platform shuddered violently, causing everyone to stumble.

"Mr Wonka! What is all this?" Crane shouted over the raging din.

Along the immense walkway, dozens of Oompa Loompas were manning what looked to be giant, silver cannons. Drivers sat atop each one of these contraptions to manoeuvre it whilst the others snatched up great spheres from the racks behind. It was like a bowling alley. Dotted around the chasm were many other platforms with the same guns, each spouting out huge gobstoppers that exploded with full force against the Whangdoodles. Unfortunately, the flying pests had discovered a way of banding together and could sometimes smack an oncoming ball back the way it had come.

"They're supposed to be the managers for my firework squad in preparation for the tour," William yelled. "I figure they're the perfect solution to a Whangdoodle attack."

At that moment one of the creatures in question soared over the platform, its greenish black torso just missing their heads. It bulled towards one of the Oompa gunners and scooped the poor man up with its hairy legs before dropping him into the open air of the shaft.

"Except when they do that," Wonka added with a squeak.

Luckily the tumbling shape of the Oompa Loompa was blotted out by the white canopy of his parachute as it burst open and carried him to safety. The companions breathed a sigh of relief.

"What can we do to help?" Ichabod asked of the chocolatier.

Just then another Whangdoodle, about the size of a boar, rocketed across the dais and headed straight for them. Acting quickly, Mort snatched the cane out of Mr Wonka's hand and swung out. The Whangdoodle screamed as it was struck and skidded across the floor in a limp heap.

The others gawped at him.

"I think Mr Rainey just answered your question, Bodders," said Jack.

Mort turned to them, shocked at his own strength. He gave Mr Wonka a guilty look and offered the cane back.

"Sorry…" he began.

"Keep a hold of it, sir," William replied to everyone's surprise. "You'll make better use of it. I got an idea what I can do. You there! Move over!"

Mr Wonka rushed up to the gun squad that had recently replaced its driver and took over the seat, much to the little man's relief. The chocolatier reached into a compartment on the side of the cannon and pulled out a pair of black goggles, which he donned with haste.

"Load 'er up, fellas!"

The Oompa Loompas saluted and stuffed a series of large purple-and-white-striped cannon balls into the gun's chamber. William gripped the steering arms and whirled it around, searching for a target. He slammed his gloved palm onto the button in the centre of the control panel, instantly jolting in his seat as a missile shot out from the barrel.

The Whangdoodle never saw it coming. Wonka's projectile of Exploding Candy (extra strong) clapped it full in the carapace. In a shower of purple sparks, the monster plummeted.

"Bull's-eye!" Mr Wonka cheered.

Angry at their losses, a cluster of the creatures grouped and dove in from the side, forcing many of the Oompa Loompas to throw themselves flat. Humming murderously, they shot towards the human crowd.

Jack drew his cutlass and stood his ground; Mort was ready with the chocolatier's cane; Edward put up his blades, but it was the shot from Ichabod's pistol that caused them to charge.

The pirate and the boy met with a sickening squelch that splattered them with a purple-blue goo. The writer and the constable, however, were knocked down.

Mort beat at an enraged insect as it savaged his dressing gown until Jack plunged the point of his sword into its back, very nearly impaling Mr Rainey in so doing.

Ichabod's opponent had taken hold of his collar and was dragging him towards the platform edge. His hands trembled, struggling to reload his pistol. He could see Edward rushing after him, unable to keep up with the pace of the Whangdoodle's flight.

The constable kicked at the ground with his feet, trying to stand. He snapped his pistol chamber shut and grabbed at the insect's flailing legs. Having taken hold, he scrabbled upright, heels still skidding on the rapidly running-out ground. With his other hand, he raised the gun and aimed for the creature's belly.

He fired.

As the platform ended, the Whangdoodle shrieked and let go. It tumbled into the chasm, leaving Crane to teeter on the brink. Edward bolted towards him and did the only thing he could think of. He stabbed.

From the distance, Jack and Mort gasped.

Ichabod's jaw dropped. He looked, aghast, at Edward's terrified face and then to the scissor blade sticking out of both sides of his shoulder.

"I- I think, Mr Edward…if you could be so kind as to pull me back onto the platform before the fabric rips, I'd be m-much obliged."

The boy gave a jubilant smile and stepped back, towing the constable to safety. By some miracle, the blade had hooked through the material of his coat and missed so much as grazing his skin.

Jack came running over, ducking a stray firework in his path. When he saw that the constable was unharmed, he clapped a hand to his heart in a show of reprieve.

"You, Mr Crane, are one lucky little sea-weevil."

Ichabod gasped in a few needed breaths before responding, "Why the concern, Mr Sparrow? Not ten minutes ago you were all up for an uncivilised brawl."

The pirate patted him belittlingly.

"Ah, you forget mate. Remember Mr Rainey's bit of philosophy? One of us dies; we might all die on account of time tearing up or summink. So you see, perhaps I'm just concerned about me onesies."

"Uh guys?" Mr Wonka shouted from the centre of the platform. "Not to be a total pain or anything, but can you quit with the mumbling and GET THE HELL OVER HERE?"

The foul insects were bombarding the platform with returned missiles. Every time one bowled their way, they slammed against them like cricket bats and had served them back at the gunners before the ammo could explode.

Dodging the whistling shots, the companions scrambled over to the rows of gunmen, jerking out of reach of any dive-bombing fiends. They hacked at the Whangdoodles hovering around the chocolatier, trying to give him leeway to aim.

He targeted another monster and blasted a new cannonball from the gun. But the Whangdoodle was ready. It flew straight at the deadly candy and head-butted it directly back into the barrel of the cannon.

"Uh oh."

Mr Wonka bellowed for everyone to take cover and hurled himself off the driving seat. The Oompa Loompa squad ran squealing as the cannon blew up in a pillar of smoke.

The chocolatier picked himself up, coughing in the smog. Fuming, he tore off his goggles and glared at the offending arthropod with his vibrant purple eyes.

"All right, that does it. I didn't wanna have to do this but you've goshdarn gone and pushed me to it," he growled, wagging a finger at the Whangdoodle. He spun and pointed to the nearest Oompa Loompa. "You! Fetch me my WV Spray!"

The little man trembled, then nodded and scampered away.

"How's that?" said Jack who, like the rest, had no clue what was happening.

Mr Wonka gave him an impish grin.

"We're gonna Minus them right in their little cans!"