CHAPTER LXXVI
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
Sora sat on the bridge, sipping tea as Goofy and Riku piloted the Barrett. His brow had been furrowed intently for the past half hour. It certainly was a lot to digest – Maximilian was Xehanort's son, jealous of Riku's so-called 'gift'…
"Would you lighten up, Sora?" Kairi said, clasping a hand on his shoulder softly.
"I'm thinking," he said quietly.
"I thought I smelled smoke..." Riku joked. Noticing Sora's mood change slightly for the better, he was caught completely off guard by the massive vessel that had nudged them from the side.
"Whoa!" Donald quacked as the ship opened fire on them, shaking the Barrett to its core.
"Positions, guys…" Sora shouted, sending everyone to their pre-selected places in the Barrett – Goofy relinquished the main controls to Sora as he shot up to the laser turret – Donald sat down below in the slash gummi pit. Riku and Kairi had already boarded their gummi mechs from the Red Zeppelin – Kairi's 'Olette', and Riku's recently named 'Terra-One'.
The ship that had attacked them seemed to wait until they were right near Mickey's coordinates – perhaps it was heading to the same place - as it filled the space ahead of the Barrett, Riku and Kairi noticed a small, black craft bearing the Legion markings shoot out toward the world's surface. It was too dark to see the actual world – but the ship looked like it had room for more than one Legion Knight…and they knew that was bad news.
The worst news was the size of the Heartless ship compared to the Barrett – nearly three times - and it looked almost organic. It was true that none of the Heartless spaceships looked really mechanical…but this one almost flowed with the same grace that flesh or hair flowed. It resembled a massive clamshell, opening to reveal a huge row of guns that fired concentrated laser blasts into the fore of the Barrett, sending it off to the left in a stunning ricochet.
Sora pulled the controls, desperately vying for dominance of the craft. Goofy awkwardly shot a laser beam in their spin, nearly singing Riku's mech in the process.
"Hold it, Goofy! Wait till we level off…" Sora shouted up the ladder.
Meanwhile, the Clamshell taunted Kairi and Riku by opening and closing its massive mouth, each time presenting a new set of weapons ready to fire. It took some clever maneuvering on Kairi's part to dodge most of the fire – Riku had been saved by her several times at this point. As Kairi and Riku gradually got closer to the Clamshell, it clamped shut and the weapons it fired ceased – leaving it seemingly vulnerable to attack. Firing their wrist rockets and pummeling the outer shell of the ship yielded no results – no matter what they threw at it, the Clamshell protected it.
"Nothing! This thing won't budge!" Riku said, slamming his mechanized fists into the massive enemy.
On the Barrett, Donald noticed something that no one else had. "Sora! Take da ship sideways! Point the slash gummi at it!"
Sora winced when he heard Donald attempt to say 'slash' again…it was almost painful. Doing what his friend suggested, he called down to him, "okay…now what?"
"Get me close…"
As the Barrett closed in on the Clamshell, Donald concentrated hard and fired the slash gummi directly at the mouth of the ship – using all of the weapon's force, he pried the two halves of the ship apart just enough to let Kairi and Riku thrust inside the massive weapon.
"I wouldn't have listened to you if I knew you were planning to feed Kairi and Riku to it!" Sora said, nervously holding the Barrett in position.
The Clamshell rocked unstably – slamming its halves shut, the Barrett was sent into another dizzying spin away from the monstrosity. Inside, Kairi and Riku were able to move comfortably – the weapons inside didn't fire while it was closed, for obvious reasons. As they drew deeper and deeper into the weapon, they saw a massive blue pillar, pulsating with energy.
"Make it more obvious," Riku deadpanned.
"On three, kay?" Kairi said, waving over at Riku. After the countdown they simultaneously fired their rockets at the pillar – explosions rocked the inside of the Clamshell as its weapons started to melt and burst into flame, licking at Riku and Kairi's escaping heels.
"Watch it!" Kairi screamed, her voice coming out of the mech and at Riku like an emotionless robot's. She shoved him out of the way of an oncoming explosion, propelling herself into a drilling spin – aiming at the mouth, she drilled it open, allowing her and Riku to escape before they both re-boarded the Barrett.
The resulting explosion sent the halves of the Clamshell shooting in opposite directions – luckily, one of the halves shot into space opposite the world they were orbiting. Not so good was the other half – it plowed into the Barrett, sending it awkwardly plummeting into the atmosphere of the world below.
They didn't have time to survey the surroundings – the world was huge. As they neared the ground, a feeling similar to the one they had experienced on Ant Island engulfed them…Sora didn't have a spare second to figure out what had happened. The half of the shell veered away from them as Sora grasped at the Barrett's reins, using all his might to keep the vessel together. They saw two huge buildings that looked like simplistic castles – they were certainly big enough to be castles, at least…though they definitely lacked the flair and design of the castles they had seen in the past. Were they castles at all? No…they were just houses…simple, aluminum sided, made-of-plain-old-wood houses…
"Hold on…here's where it gets bumpy…" Sora said through clenched teeth.
"Gee, the smooth part is over…?" Riku joked as his head bounced around on his shoulders.
They saw a brown house with wood paneling near the top of it on their left, complete with a dirty looking sandbox and a raggedy looking shed in the backyard.
"The Legion Knights!" Kairi exclaimed, pointing at the sandbox. Parked neatly in a corner of the sandbox, there sat the Legion spaceship. "They might know where King Mickey is…"
Trying to veer the damaged Barrett toward the sandbox proved difficult – as he wrestled with the controls, the ship pulled to the right, toward the white house next to them. The lawn was well manicured, and it had a powder blue minivan in the driveway. They knew it was too late – with most of the crew closing their eyes for the impact, Sora took the ship through the open window on the second story of the gigantic house.
But the impact was soft and pleasant – opening their eyes, Sora and his friends looked around the Barrett, expecting to see fires and broken equipment everywhere – but the ship was in better shape than they had expected. Attempting to start the Barrett proved hopeless; the ship was broken, but at least the damage seemed reparable. Cautiously exiting the ship, they all stared in different directions as they bounced out onto the soft, loamy landscape.
It was no wonder they hadn't crashed with too much difficulty – the land around them was squishy and soft…almost inviting.
"It's a bed. We crash landed on a bed!" Riku whispered to his friends. As he turned to look at Kairi, he screamed awkwardly and fell backwards, laughing after the initial shock.
"What's so funny?" Kairi asked, looking at herself in the reflection of one of the shinier gummis – she had taken on a new, smaller form. Her red hair was curlier…not quite as soft. Almost as if it were made of felt. Her face was much wider – pudgy, and…sewn on? Kairi had turned into a red-headed rag doll, awkwardly stepping with her rounded, shoeless feet.
"This is unbelievable…" she said, poking her own squishy stomach. "Toys? Why the heck are we toys!"
Goofy and Donald started to laugh at Kairi, but quickly stopped as they turned to face each other – they began to laugh ten times as hard at that point, nearly falling over in the process.
It was easy to see why – Goofy looked similar to his normal self, though his body stood frozen on a small pedestal of rubber. His head was three times it normal size, and it wobbled haphazardly back and forth, teetering on the spring attached to his new neck. Donald had been reduced to a rubbery bath toy – a rubber ducky, wearing Donald's signature clothes.
Riku and Sora looked each other over – they had clearly gotten the best transformations of the group. Riku tested the joints on his action-figure body – they moved in almost all of the same ways his real body moved. Adjusting the army cap on his head, Riku dusted the dirt off of his camouflaged soldier's uniform.
"Not bad…" Sora commented. "I especially like the painted on beard. Very rugged…" Riku slid his plastic hands over his face – he indeed was wearing a silly looking painted-on beard.
"Funny, I used to play with these solider toys all the time when I was a kid. Blew some of 'em up in my backyard…this is a trip, huh?"
"You can say that again…" Sora said, examining his molded hands – they moved like real flesh, but they were clearly plastic. Kairi, Donald and Goofy couldn't do much – they were severely limited by their bodies. Kairi's plush, stuffed body waddled up to Sora.
"Nice headdress, Chief Goofball."
The Indian-outfit clad Sora didn't have much time to examine his brown vest and chaps before a nasal voice rang out from behind them.
"Reach for the sky…"
