Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Not making any money of this. Love the idea of Ed and Roy. Please leave me a review if you like the story.
For an explanation of the chapter title/section headings, please see the end of the chapter.
Chapter 7: Tango de Salon II
III. Trabada
Riza Hawkeye looked up in relief as her CO finally emerged from his office. Fury and Havoc had long since left the office to get very, very drunk. Fortunately, as with most of Mustang's staff, alcohol had the atypical effect of making them very tight-lipped, especially regarding the General. Which was quite possibly the reason she had encouraged their intentions.
"I've processed most of Alphonse Elric's paperwork, sir," she informed him gravely. He looked over in surprise, having only just noticed she was still there. Exhaustion lurked in the dark shadows under his eyes and in the thin set line of his mouth. "I managed to put together an examining board as well, for tomorrow morning. Alphonse says he'll be ready. But with his skills, it should be a pure formality." A corner of her mouth quirked up. "It will be odd to have to salute him after tomorrow. Not that Alphonse would ever dream of pulling rank – he's very much like Edward in that way. He wanted to see his brother before turning in, but I persuaded him to go get some rest."
"Thank you, Captain." Her CO raised an eyebrow tiredly. "I assume that Colonel Hughes and Alphonse filled you in as to the status of our…guest?"
"What they didn't fill me in on, Lieutenant Havoc did, sir," she assured, her hand dropping meaningfully to the butt of her gun. He smiled faintly, but didn't ask her to elaborate. "Oh, and Colonel Hughes said to tell you, 'The kid was right on the money,' about your would-be assassins, sir. Poison when the guards changed shifts. It would seem matters are coming to a head." She hesitated. "Sir…not that getting him back isn't wonderful…but the timing complicates matters. Especially if he doesn't remember who he is…was."
Roy nodded distractedly. "I know." He looked away, his shoulders sagging fractionally. She almost reached for his arm, but stopped herself in time as he returned his gaze to her. "I'm going to swing by my rooms to hit the shower and get a change of clothes, Captain. I know it's late, but will you stay and keep an eye on him until I return?"
She was opening her mouth to assent when a sleep-roughened voice interrupted her. "If that's a hot shower, I'm coming with you." Auric stood silhouetted in the doorway, leaning up against the door frame as he rubbed sleep-darkened eyes. The low light from Roy's desk lamp behind him lit up the frizzy halo of sleep-mussed hair rather fetchingly, thought Riza in amazement, feeling a slow burn rise in her cheeks as her mind struggled to make the leap between the boy she remembered and the very attractive man standing before her. She tore her eyes away and looked over at her CO just in time to catch an odd look flit over his face before a more familiar mask slid over his features.
"Why Auric, I had no idea you were interested," purred Roy. "I'm flattered, but don't you think it's a bit…forward, considering we haven't even had a first date yet? And it might not be a good idea to…physically exert yourself in your current condition." Riza closed her eyes and braced for the explosion from the volatile blonde. Some things just never changed….
It never came.
Instead Auric smiled, a slow, lazy smile that curled up the corners of his lips in an almost predatory manner. His eyes swept deliberately over the General's figure as if taking an inventory of the man's physique, lingering mockingly over areas that made Riza blush further, mortified. When he finally responded, it was in a husky baritone that made her toes curl. "Don't worry, old man. I'll take it easy on you. At least, initially. And if you still think you can handle me after that…" he let the sentence trail off suggestively.
Riza gaped as Auric sauntered slowly past her desk and out the door. She started at her CO, who was looking equally stunned. Then their gazes met, and she shook her head slowly. "Don't worry, sir…this…um…never happened." He nodded equally slowly.
"Well, come on," sighed Auric, suddenly sticking his head back into the room. "I really want that shower. And some food. And then I really need more sack time. Joint – if you're really up for it - or otherwise." His eyes twinkled maliciously.
Roy bit back a comment at the gibe and followed in silence. Riza shook her head again. Some things just never changed…and, she realized, some things really had.
He wasn't a child anymore.
IV. Resolución
"I'd be careful with that," Auric said softly from the door. Roy started. He had been fingering one of the daggers carefully laid out on the narrow bunk Auric had appropriated. Despite Roy's rank, he preferred to keep his rooms at HQ fairly Spartan. Standard issue bunk beds against the wall, a cluttered writing desk, a closet and a chest-of-drawers. The only evidence of seniority and a concession to creature comforts was the small attached kitchen with a couple of gas rings, and the tiny sitting area with a couple of armchairs about the hearth. He used the showers down the hall, which were nominally available to all officers, but was in practice a private bathroom of sorts since most officers preferred to give the notorious Flame Alchemist a wide berth. Even though he hadn't technically done anything recently…well, there had been that one annoying Lieutenant Colonel who had leered at him once too often, but that had been a while ago! And the man's moustache had grown back. Eventually.
Auric padded into the room, still wringing out his hair vigorously. "Some people keep the middle prong on their sais round, but I prefer an octagonal cross-section even if it does chip easily. More damage on impact," he added clinically. "But the edges and tips are sharp, so don't cut yourself. It might prevent you from snapping your fingers, and I have neither the time nor the desire to be traipsing about after you watching your hide."
Roy laid the sai back down next to the other two. "Why three?" he asked interestedly. While he was quite confident in his ability to defend himself, he had to admit that the overwhelming focus on honing his alchemic abilities had meant that he had not been able to spend as much time on the martial arts. His first CO had grunted, "If they get that close to you, Mustang, you've slipped up and probably deserve what's coming to you," but he still found the practice interesting.
"One for throwing, two for hand-to-hand," replied Auric, his face emerging from the depths of an army green towel. Without being prompted, he hefted one of the sais, tossed it lightly in his hand and sent it sailing towards the wood of the doorframe, where it embedded itself obligingly. "Very useful defensive weapons. Alp preferred the bo, but have you ever tried concealing that on your person?" He snorted as he slipped a borrowed crew-necked shirt of Mustang's over his head.
"Can't say that I have," Roy slipped off the bunk. "Would you like something to eat? I have soup and something the military says is chicken, and something else they say is beef."
Auric shrugged. "Soup's fine. Thanks."
Roy rummaged about for the can-opener and went about heating up the soup. Auric watched him through half-lidded eyes. Finally, the blonde man spoke. "You're wondering how I can discuss this all so casually when Ed never would have, aren't you?"
"Now that you mention it, yes," Roy concentrated on pouring the soup into the two chipped mugs he had set out. "Your attitude towards fighting and killing and death certainly is different."
"This coming from the man known as one of the 'heroes' of the Ishvar civil war? Al and Winry told me what you did."
Roy's head snapped up, and his eyes were glittering and deathly cold. "I was under orders. And I…regret many of the things I had to do."
"There's your answer," was the reply. "Duty and survival are powerful motivators. I did what I had to do to fulfill my responsibilities to the Guild as a Gatekeeper." The two men locked gazes in a clash of tempers and wills, but then Auric chuckled ruefully and looked away. "I'll let you win this one, since I won our last round. Besides, that was a cheap shot. I'm sorry."
His opponent blinked. "Do you know, I believe that's the first time you've ever said that to me?"
Auric raised an eyebrow as he accepted a mug of soup. "Well, you haven't known me very long. I can't speak for Ed. But I am older than he was, and doesn't maturity come with age? Not that it's showing in your case, of course," and he nimbly dodged a lick of flame from the gas stove. "Hey, no using alchemy! You don't see me teleporting all over the place, do you?"
Roy smirked, tossing his glove aside, and dropped down lightly into the other armchair. For a while they sat there companionably sipping from their mugs. The flames from the fireplace were dying down before the taller of the two broke the silence. "Why haven't you tried alchemy yet?"
"Don't need to." The answer was terse.
"Oh?"
"It won't work." Auric snapped his mouth shut and refused to look at Roy. His body was suddenly tense, as if to flee.
"Alphonse says you won't even look at an array. So how do you know it won't?"
"It just won't. I don't remember anything about my life here, so why should it?"
Roy's eyes narrowed. "First of all, alchemic ability is innate, so I doubt not having your memories will matter. And secondly, you did remember certain things that were important to you, as your journal proves." He carefully omitted mentioning the odd fact that he had shown up in Auric's dreams. "At least take a look at some of the more common arrays, they might jog your memory. And see if you can use them – they'll come in handy for defense…."
"I told you, I don't need them! I can take care of myself and Al without alchemy," growled Auric, leaping up and heading to the kitchen, ostensibly to rinse out his mug. He leaned against the sink heavily, keeping his back determinedly to Roy.
Roy followed him, undaunted. "What are you afraid of, Auric?"
"I'm not afraid!" Auric rounded on the older man, his hands clenching into fists at his side. "I just…it's not going to work, so why bother?" His whole body was shaking now. "Can't you just leave it alone?"
"Are you afraid that it's not going to work…or that it will?" challenged Roy. "You don't know, do you? And that's why you're running."
"I am not running!" Auric's eyes blazed indignantly.
Roy sighed. "Then talk to me, Auric. Help me to understand. I can't help you and Alphonse if you don't trust me." Déjà vu, he thought in weary amusement. This Elric definitely has trust issues. He stepped away, letting Auric have some space. "Believe it or not, I care about the two of you. I want Alphonse to be safe, too, so at least in that we have the same goals."
Auric swallowed hard. Suddenly he looked very young. His next words, though, shattered that illusion. "Do you have any whiskey?"
Roy poured another generous shot of whiskey for the still shaking Auric. The first shot had gone down immediately, and that had seemed to calm the Gatekeeper's sudden bout of nerves, so Roy hoped the second would brace him up sufficiently to talk about what was bothering him. The colour was high in Auric's face, but Roy couldn't tell if it was stress, or the warmth of the fire, or the effects of the whiskey. Still, it was better than the waxen pallor of a few minutes ago.
"Whenever I see an array – any array! - something in me seems to recognize it," Auric said abruptly. He still wasn't meeting Roy's gaze, and his fingers clenched his tumbler so tightly that Roy was worried it might shatter, but at least his jaw seemed to have unlocked. "It's like a tickle at the very edges of my consciousness, like when you know you know something but can't quite articulate it."
"And I'm…scared. What if I try to activate it and it doesn't work? Everyone wants me to be Edward Elric. But what if I'm not? What if the part of me that was him died somewhere? Do you know what it's like to see the disappointment in peoples' faces whenever they realize I'm not Ed? That I don't remember them?" Roy started guiltily.
"But what if I try and I do activate it? What if I remember? There's a part of me screaming that I shouldn't know what an 'array' is, much less how to use it. I think it's a part of me that's scared to die. Because if I remember…if Ed comes back…what happens to me? What happens to Auric?"
Auric finally turned his head to look at Roy. "It's funny, because Al said I was taking this all very well. Gatekeepers have a reputation for being to take anything in stride, because if you aren't afraid to die, what else could you possibly have to lose that could matter? But this is different. I'm not afraid of dying in action as me. But to just vanish from existence because you were never supposed to exist…that's different."
"It might not happen, you know," Roy said gently. "Maes did some checking with a couple of psychologists. Sometimes memories come back gradually, and integrate with the new personality. And sometimes the memories never come back – but that doesn't mean you can't re-learn what you lost, or rebuild relationships. Al and Winry already accept you, Auric, as a separate person from Ed, even if they do miss him. Give them time."
"But it could happen," said Auric bleakly. "And to be frank, the alternative isn't that great anyway. How would you like to try living every day knowing that lurking in the backs of people's eyes, people whose opinions matter to you, here's a lingering sadness that you're not someone else? My existence is both an accusation and an apology, and frankly, it's getting old." His face was desolate. "That's why I couldn't speak about this to Al. He already feels guilty about feeling the way he does. And I can't blame him. But it isn't the easiest thing to live with, either."
Roy ran through various appropriately understanding responses in his mind. No, too condescending. That one would be too trite. How about…no, too dismissive. Oh dear. Auric gazed at him expectantly. "I'm sorry," Roy threw up his hands in despair. "I…honestly can't think of a single uplifting and suitably mature-and-wise thing to say. Except that no, I can't imagine living that way. And that the whole situation, to be candid…sucks."
Auric shut his eyes. Roy watched worriedly. Then a small snicker emerged from Auric's lips. The snicker turned into a giggle, and then a full-throated laugh that seemed to well up from somewhere deep within. It was infectious, and Roy found himself collapsing into the armchair opposite and giving himself over to gentle hysteria. Every time one of them managed to stop, the other would eye him and snort, "This sucks!" sending them both off into gales of laughter again. The release of tension was palpable, and, Roy thought hazily, inevitable enough given the events of the past day. He slid bonelessly down in his seat, feeling a pleasant warmth spreading through his body as he tipped the last amber drops down his throat. Auric gurgled once more, something that sounded like, "welcome to my life," then finally seemed to calm down, although his lips were still twitching. He looked over at Roy with a mix of resignation and curiosity.
"Got some chalk?"
Auric stared apprehensively at the array Roy had drawn on the wooden floorboards. The older man stood up, dusting his hands off lightly. "There. A simple one to start. Not even a transmutation, just a change of state." He set a half-full glass in the center of the array. "In a liquid state: water." He knelt again and touched the array lightly with both hands, energy crackling briefly around the glass. "A change in the energy level: ice. And back again." He held out the chalk. "Now you try. I've found that most people find it easier to activate an array they've drawn themselves." His fingers were warm, and dusty, and dry as they brushed Auric's lightly, dropping the white stick of chalk into his open palm. "Go on."
Auric faltered, turning the chalk over in his hand. Roy waited, unmoving. The blonde man worried at his lip for a moment, before pulling himself together and reaching out determinedly, inscribing a circle neatly before him on his first try. He glanced over briefly at Roy's array for reference, then quickly filled in the remainder of the array with firm, decisive strokes. Roy raised his eyebrows silently and moved the glass into the new array. "Good. Now just relax and focus. It's about being sensitive to the flows of energy." Auric eyed the array dubiously, then mimicked Roy's earlier actions.
Nothing happened.
"Oh well, guess that's that," announced Auric just a little too cheerfully for Roy's liking, as he started to get up from the floor. A hand on his shoulder pushed him back down again. "What?"
Roy glared down at the shorter man. "That's it?"
"What more did you expect?" responded Auric irritably, brushing Roy's hand off with more force than was necessary.
"I expected you to make a reasonable effort at it, Gatekeeper," Roy bit off coldly, drawing on all his years of military experience to compress disappointment, anger and compassion into the look he generally reserved for recalcitrant subordinates. A spark rose in Auric's eyes at the use of his title and his gaze rose slowly to meet Roy's. "It's much the same thing, from what you've told me," Roy added, not unkindly.
"Maybe I just don't want to." Auric's face set in a familiar, mulish expression.
"You wouldn't have drawn the array if you didn't want to," countered Roy sharply. "But fine, I'll give you a choice. You can choose to run away right here, right now, from this place, from Al, from all the people who knew you and want to know you again. Or you can stay, and trust me, and watch over Al like you promised. It's your choice, Auric. You said you were old enough to be mature. Prove it."
The object of his derision hissed. "Don't condescend to me, you son-of-a-bitch."
Roy smirked. "Don't make me."
Auric looked longingly at the door. Be careful what you wish for, he thought bitterly. He had woken up on his Aleph Day wanting to remember who and what he had been before, and now he was being confronted with it in spades. So close, so easy to just pick up his few possessions and walk out and away from all this madness. Where to, he didn't know, but just away. Preferably somewhere that the universe was willing to cut him a break, where he didn't have to make choices that seemed to wind up boiling down to life or death. A log fell in the grate, sending up a hiss of sparks and ash, and his eyes were drawn to the dying embers in the fireplace. There had been fire and ash too, at the last Gate. And Alp. His friend. His brother in more ways than one. He had left him behind, dead in that other world, and had found him again in Al, here. A line from an old Gatekeeper ballad floated through his mind and he sighed. There was no choice in this case, not really. "Let's see if the phoenix can rise," he murmured softly under his breath as he turned his attention back to the array. He sensed Roy stirring behind him, but that faded away into shadowy darkness as he gathered himself and opened himself up to feel…an array is merely a crutch to help focus energies, he thought absently, like the beads…concentrate on it and on what you want to have happen…ground yourself….
His hand stretched out towards the array, but he didn't touch the chalk outline. Roy watched in fascination as Auric bowed his golden head over the array. He could feel the air beginning to hum with alchemic energy on a scale that seemed far too great for such a small array, and he readied himself to tackle Auric if something went wrong. But suddenly the energies seemed to focus themselves in Auric's hand, rushing forward so suddenly that they seemed to leave a vacuum in their wake, and then Auric lifted his head, smiling gently as he caressed the air above the glass, which was pulling itself into a different shape, lengthening into a tapered vase and the water too was changing form, springing up above the lip of the glass and crystallizing into the form of a single blood-red rose.
Roy let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "Go to the head of the class," he said softly. "Transmutation on the first try. You didn't even touch the array."
"I didn't have to," Auric's eyes were large and luminous. "It just helps with the focus, I think. Ed never had to either, did he?"
Tango de Salon: A way of dancing tango characterized by slow measured moves, with the emphasis on precision and elegance. The dancing couple remains at a "proper" distance from each other, i.e., their bodies are not in a close embrace.
The leader leads the follower in the caminada, or "tango walk" to the cross-step, known as cruzada or trabada.
Beats six, seven, and eight are the resolución or ending.
