Ch 6 Back to School
Hermione's POV
Hermione was lying in bed in her Gryffindor dorm when she should have been fast asleep. She had drawn her curtains around her for privacy, though it didn't really matter since the other girls were snoring away. She was leaned up against the headboard with an open journal in her lap. She was twirling her quill in one hand as she patiently waited for the ink to appear under her last entry and form words of hopeful encouragement.
As soon as she got to Hogwarts she immediately started to work on a way to communicate with Sirius about how they were going to find and destroy the Horcruxes. She knew she couldn't communicate by letter in case they were intersected. And though she knew she could borrow Harry's two-way mirrors like she did the first night to tell him her plan, she knew Harry would grow worried if kept borrowing them as frequently as she would need them.
He was already concerned with her lack of enthusiasm in her classes as of late. Normally she would sit writing furiously detailed notes and answer every question she could. But she had other things on her mind.
And that was Horcruxes. It didn't take long for her to gain permission to have access to the restricted section in the library. And what she found on the subject matter was nothing. There was absolutely no book that provided information about them. And apparently, Sirius had been hitting a dead end as well. He was combing through every single book in the Black library and coming up empty, just like her.
It was the first time that she could recall that she found herself at a standstill. She didn't know what she was doing.
This school year had already brought about so many changes. And it has only been the first week. First, she discovered a horrible branch of dark magic that impeded the possibility of ending this war once and for all. Then because of the classes she was taking she couldn't manage to squeeze in Care of Magical Creatures, much to Hagrid's disappointment. Who was also currently avoiding her. And then to her surprise, Professor Snape had been made the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. While a new man named Professor Slughorn taught potions. Their teaching styles on the subject matter were quite different. She wasn't sure how she felt about the man's more lax nature.
Her mind was not spent endlessly on homework since she now had bigger problems to deal with. And she thinks she would almost prefer having to deal with Umbridge all over again instead of dealing with the task ahead of her.
Thankfully some things have still remained the same. She didn't know how many sudden changes she could handle before she went insane. Her roommates still mostly ignored her. And though over the years she did have some problems with it. Right now she couldn't be happier over them leaving her alone to her own devices. She wouldn't have to come up with excuses or dodge their questions. Harry and Ron were starting quidditch practices so she would have some alone time. And of course, one huge thing that has stayed the same is Harry's dislike for the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.
When Sirius dropped them off at King's Cross. After he huddled the both of them and then pulled Harry in for one extra hug. His parting words were "And please give Snape hell for me." Causing Harry to burst out in laughter. Her on the other hand had a bit of a different reaction.
"What?" He noticed her glare. "He is a slimy bastard."
"Don't judge a book by its cover," she chastised.
Sirius scoffed "I am not. I went to school with him, remember. I know that he is a git."
She held her tongue not wanting to dampen the mood instead of asking, "Do you know him or just what you perceive from his behaviour?"
Apparently, Harry took that advice to heart with his Sir comment during class. And normally she would just bristle at his commentary like always but right now she wanted to hit him for his disrespect. That could interfere with her possible future plan.
Right now she was waiting for Sirius' response to a very serious question. No pun intended.
Neither of them knew what to do or had any experience with dark artifacts. But she knew someone who did. Who was also conveniently a member of the Order and in the castle.
She had a feeling she would already know what his reply would be. But she didn't know what else to do.
The two of them had agreed to keep this information to themselves. At least for the time being. Until they could gather some more research and find out how probable her theory was and how many Horcruxes there could possibly be.
And that ment from even Dumbeldore and Harry. She understood why Sirius didn't want to tell Harry. She didn't want to tell him either. He was just beginning to be happy again. He was smiling a lot more lately. Not constantly burdened by the thought of the war. She couldn't take that away from him. At least not until they had more information.
She had her own reasoning for not wanting to involve anyone else. It wasn't that she didn't trust the Order. She did. But the more people that knew then the higher of a chance this information could slip out. Plus the Order often insisted that she was still a child and that this war didn't involve her. Even though she was a muggleborn and has been attacked by the Death Eaters. They denied that she should be involved and often sidelined her and the others. Their want to protect them meant keeping them in the dark when it came to information. And Hermione knew that there was a good chance that the Order would possibly disregard her theory or keep her in the dark even though she was fully capable of helping conduct research.
But she was a little unsure why he didn't want to tell Dumbeldore.
Sirius' reasoning was that he was busy running the school and the Order. They shouldn't bother him until they have concrete proof. She had a feeling there was more to the story than he was saying but she trusted Sirius and surprisingly also his judgement.
And so they never spoke word of this to anyone. This was to be a secret. The most important secret Hermione would have to keep. It has only been a couple of weeks since that night she and Sirius promised each other in 12 Grimmauld. And now Hermione has found herself wanting to break it.
She noticed the familiar black scrawl starting to develop against the page. Only one word glittered with the fresh ink. NO!
She slammed her journal close with a loud thump and tossed it to the end of her bed.
She trusted Sirius. He was one of the few people she knew she could trust and rely on. But right now he was being stubborn.
It took her a week to make the matching journals and they have been frequently used. It wasn't the best form of communication. Always having to wait a minute for a response at best. Sometimes it took hours for the other to reply. But it worked. However, she wasn't interested in using it to have an argument with the man.
She didn't know why, when she realized that they needed help, he was the first person to pop into her mind.
She knew if she asked, Lupin or Professor McGonnagol would aid her in whatever problem she was having. But this wasn't her problem, this was Voldemort's problem. And who knew Voldemort better than the man who was constantly in his presence? And it wasn't like she didn't trust them, it was just… She didn't know what it was. But she knew she needed to be cautious and logical about how she handled this. And there was no one she knew who was as cautious and logical as Professor Snape. Someone willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done. Even if it ment breaking orders and rules.
He was never particularly nice to her. He would always state something along the lines of, "Anything you would like to add Miss Granger'' in a sarcastic or demeaning tone or he would comment, "Quit dawdling in the halls, you're holding up traffic." He often referred to her as an insufferable know it all while in the presence of others. He despised her best friends and made his grudge quite publicly known. He acted extremely prejudiced against Gryffindor house and favoured the Slytherins. He acted bitter and was often miserable. He seemed to hate teaching as well as the majority of the students. None of that has changed in the past five years while he was her teacher.
Harry and Sirius didn't trust him. Because of his unkind behaviour. Utterly convinced that he was still a Death Eater. She understood Sirius' reservations with Professor Snape. But he was letting his Slytherin prejudices get in the way of a possible ally. And she knew that a part of his dislike came from their school years together. But she had no interest in diving into the past. Especially when they had the future to worry about.
And underneath Professor Snape's public persona, she had not the slightest clue about him. He was a spy; it was his job to hide the truth and lie. So she assumed he applied the same logic to himself and what of himself he revealed to others.
But she was able to put some things together. And perhaps that is why she wanted his help. He was incredibly smart. Most likely the smartest teacher she has ever had. It was possible he was well on his way to being smarter than Dumbledore. Not only was he clever he was resourceful and relied on his instinct. He had to be if he was to survive as a spy for so long. He was an expert in dark magic and potions. And he was incredibly loyal to Dumbledor and the Order. He had to be after all he had suffered through. Or maybe because she was constantly reminded that he was the one to heal her injury last year whenever she looked in the mirror. She was cursed with some unknown dark magic so why couldn't he help fix this.
He also wasn't the type to allow his emotions to cloud his judgement. Unless it was in anger. But he was smart enough to reel it back in when he let it get too far. At least most of the time. Everybody had a pushing point after all. It was possible that is why she wanted to add him to her team of two. He was able to mask his emotions and often appeared impassive and even cold-hearted. Though that could also be his natural personality. No one would know if something was troubling him or not. He was also very skilled at carpmentalizing and doing what needed to be done regardless of his feelings. And though she resented his term of bleeding heart Gryffindors. She knew in comparison to him it was an accurate statement.
In the end, it didn't matter why he was who she needed. Once the thought popped into her head she couldn't get it out.
She found out how frequently she would pass by the man in the halls or catch herself watching him during meal times. She wondered and planned if she would ever gather the courage to go to him and confide in him. Despite the fact that she wasn't intimidated by him. He still didn't make it easy for him to be approached. Which she guessed was his intention.
She figured that played a part in his wardrobe choices. To aid in the mystery as well as act as a deterrence. He wore a long black frock with an impressive amount of buttons. A black robe trailed behind him and billowed out when he walked. The length of his clothes was also impressive considering how tall he was. He was about a foot taller than her and very lean. And yet his clothes added to his height and made him seem like a large and imposing sight.
His appearance also added to the perceptions of those around him. He wasn't the most attractive man in the world. But people seemed to focus on his less attractive qualities as a person and associated them with those qualities of his appearance some would view as negative. But none of that seemed to be in his control. His hair was a rich black colour and often looked unwashed. But for a man often standing over a steaming cauldron all day, it wasn't a surprise that his hair would appear greasy. His aquiline nose was merely a genetic trait. He was the same age as Sirius and yet both men had too many lines on their faces for their age. Sirius actively tried to fix it while Professor Snape seemed to have them as a fixed feature on his face. His dark coal eyes always seemed to be seeping into your soul. It made people flinch at the harshness. He would never smile either.
He walked so silently, often sneaking up on unimposing students. He seemed to prefer living in the shadows as opposed to the light. And yet all of this contributed in one way or another to his role as a spy.
And perhaps that was high she found herself hesitating to ask him for help. Every aspect of his life was dedicated and structured to aid in his success as a spy. Would it be too much to ask of him to kneel before the men they were trying to kill with the secret of how to do it in the back of his mind? She couldn't ask that of him. Couldn't she? She knew he was an accomplished occulemens. But this was pushing it wasn't it?
Every time she saw him in the halls and thought about approaching him he always stalked off at a fast pace. His black robes trailed behind him. She resisted the urge to call his name and always missed the opportunity to talk to him. And then the cycle restarted where she would question her decision.
She was sitting in the common room. It was late at night when Harry came in through the portal.
He now finally had clothes that actually fit him. Jeans that weren't held up with belts. Shirts that weren't two sizes too big. Most of the clothes he bought were simple. Solid colours of blues, greys and even a few reds filled his closet. There were a couple of band tees that were clearly Sirius' idea. They didn't really suit Harry but when he and Sirius came down for lunch one day covered with specks of paint and smiles on their faces from painting his room, it fit him a lot better. He settled for just painting one wall a solid navy blue. And the others had a couple of zig-zag lines of paint popping out. And for such a simple design, the two spent the entire day in his room supposedly painting. Though she had a feeling the two of them had a talk that was more serious then the playful attitude they displayed afterwards.
But whatever it was. It did him wonders.
He looked good. And Hermione wasn't sure if it was the clothes, the house, or just knowing that when he came down the stairs Sirius would be there waiting for him, but there was a jump in his step. An air of confidence washed over him. It was quite a contrast to the moody and almost passive and se;f doubting traits he had during the last year. He simply seemed more relaxed and at home than she ever saw him.
He had just returned from his detention with Professor Snape and threw himself down on the couch opposite of her. He didn't say anything at first, just eyeing her and the various books she had in front of her. "Please tell me you aren't already stressed out for exams."
She couldn't help but smile at his concern. No matter how tired or stressed he was he always made time to make sure she was alright. "No, not yet."
"So what's bothering you?"
She loved Harry, she really did but sometimes she wished he couldn't just easily read her and know when something was wrong. That was one of the things she loved about Ron. He always willingly gave her her space when she needed it. Even when she didn't ask for it. He was good at respecting boundaries. "Just stressed," He continued to stare at her. Until she sighed. "Miss my parents." The statement was true: she did miss them and was always worried about their safety. But it wasn't the only thing on her mind. Especially right now. But it was the first thing she could come up with that she wouldn't have to explain or lie about.
"You know if you want you could always send a letter to Sirius." She looked at him curiously. Even when he didn't know what was going on he could always guess. Even if he didn't know the whole story. "He would be willing to write to you. You too seemed to have gotten along during the summer." She figured that Harry would feel weird about them becoming friends. But in a way, it made him happier. It truly felt like the three of them were a family. "He gives pretty good advice."
She wanted to laugh at that. Normally he does. But on this one, his judgement was a little clouded. As evident by the several amounts of Noes, he had written in the journal. "I know but I think this is something I need to figure out myself."
"Is it something bad?" He asked worriedly.
She shook her head. "Nothing you need to worry about right now, if it is I will tell you."
He gave her a warm smile. Accepting her answer for now. "Okay. I am heading to bed. Don't stay up too late."
"And Mione," he said, drawing her attention away from her books.
"Hmm."
He smiled and said "Happy early birthday."
She couldn't help but smile back. "Thanks." She forgot that tomorrow was her 17th birthday. She never really liked to celebrate it so she didn't usually like to remind her friends if they somehow forgot. But Harry was always on top of remembering that.
She looked over at the clock and thought intensely for a moment.
If Harry just came back from detention then that means that Professor Snape will most likey still be in his office.
She could snek out of the common room and head down to his office to talk to him. No one would miss her. And nobody would question her. They would just think that she was heading to the library because she forgot a book. Or she could actually do that. Make good use of her time that she knew would give her positive results. Even if he was still there, he wouldn't want to see her. Let alone talk about farfetch theories. As soon as she mentioned wanting to discuss dark magic or even Voldemort he would kick her out of his office or drag her up to the Headmaster. Both would be problematic. But there was the off chance that he would be willing to hear her out. And then what? She highly doubted he had the magic solution laying around in a book in his office.
All of this was just speculation. All she did know was that sitting around here and thinking about what might happen wasn't going to help her.
Growing with conviction and determination, she rose off of the couch and exited the common room. It didn't take long for her to reach the dungeons. With her being a Prefect she had the perfect excuse of conducting rounds if she saw anyone. But nobody passed her way.
She wondered if the portraits were watching her movements and taking note that she was walking towards the dungeons. But they appeared to be asleep. Or at least pretending to be. And she knew she couldn't stop and question them. Not unless she wanted for sure to miss Professor Snape.
As she stood in front of the office door she noticed that it was close to curfew. It was possible that he would simply send her off without hearing what she had to say. But she had to take the risk. She had been pulling off talking to the man. And it was now or never.
She took a deep breath and knocked several times. She waited until she heard a silky voice say "Enter," coming from behind the door.
Steadying her shoulders Hermione gathered her Gryffindor courage and opened the door.
