Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Not making any money of this. Love the idea of Ed and Roy. Please leave me a review if you like the story.
Author Comment:
Apologies for the slight delay in updating, although under a week is pretty good, I do think! Like Auric, I've been a little under the weather, and I also have to study and work on a daily basis. Thank you to all those wonderful people who wrote me reviews, I read each and every one! And to those who have yet to review, please do – a little encouragement goes a long way.
For an explanation of the Chapter Title, please see the end of the story.
Chapter 11: Quintessence
As usual when the army said they were moving out in two hours, they really meant closer to six or seven, thought Havoc sourly as he ground out a cigarette under his boot. He ran a judicious eye over the men of his platoon mustered in the parade square, all of whom were sacked out against their gear, ready to go at a moment's notice, but doing what all experienced soldiers knew to do the moment the army let you stay in one place undisturbed for more than five minutes – catch some sleep. Because you never knew when you would get the chance again. Good men, all of them. Handpicked and discreetly manoeuvred through the military bureaucracy into units close to Mustang, in essence creating a corps of men within the ranks that the General could call on when the time came. They weren't just drawn from the enlisteds and non-coms, of course – he could see officers he vaguely recognized coming and going from the offices that the General and Colonel Hughes were currently cloistered in as they hammered out battle plans. Mustang always planned well ahead.
He knew he should be getting some sleep as well, but his nerves were too keyed up after that briefing where the boss had gone head to head with the General, and then pulled a new military advantage out of his…well, anyway, it was a relief to know someone else thought the Fuhrer's brilliant strategy of simply throwing more bodies at the enemy was idiotic.
"Lieutenant."
Speak of the devil. "Hey boss. What are you doing out here with us grunts? Shouldn't you be in there helping the General plan or whatever? Where's Al?"
Auric waved a hand vaguely back in the direction of the east wing. "Al's busy with his little hand-picked group of alchemist draftees, trying to give them a crash course in what to do when the world is blowing up around you. Best of a bad lot, in my opinion…I'd lay odds on them not lasting more than two minutes. And Mustang and Hughes don't need my help with strategy. They just need me to do what I do best when the time comes. But I couldn't sleep. So I thought I'd wander about a bit, get a feel for the group. I don't like going into a fight without knowing who's watching my back."
"Gotcha." Havoc nodded. "But you don't have to worry, boss, they're all good men. Loyal to the General – they all worship him, even the officers. And that's saying a lot, considering the egos most of them have."
"He must be an easy sort of man to love," Auric remarked dryly.
Havoc shot him a curious look at the odd tone in his voice, then shrugged, the barest life of a shoulder. "Yeah, and that's just the men. You should see the women throw themselves at him. The Captain's been in love with him for years. Not that he's noticed." He swore at himself as the Gatekeeper cocked a gleaming brow at him, realizing that he had allowed a trace of bitterness to slip out.
Auric sighed to himself. This appeared to be his night for hearing confessions, which was really quite ironic considering his atheism in both the spiritual and emotional realms. "Don't tell me. You love her." A brooding silence was his only answer. "Have you considered telling her?"
Havoc shook his heard miserably. "She'd shoot me. Besides, the General's the only man who exists in her world."
The Gatekeeper ran a weary hand over his face as he struggled to stay civil. "The one-sided nature of the affair is generally not conducive to an actual relationship, Jean. And while I'm sure he has many…winning qualities, my suspicion is that she continues to fixate on him because as long as she's 'in love' with someone unattainable, she doesn't have to risk loving someone who might actually love her back and make her vulnerable." He took in the glazed look in Havoc's eyes, and threw up his hands. "I'm just saying, I think she's scared. So go be her friend and show her she doesn't have to be. Understand?"
"So you think she might not shoot me?" Havoc said finally.
One corner of Auric's mouth twitched. "You're about to go into battle. Would it make a difference if you got shot now or later?"
The Gatekeeper watched Havoc tromp off determinedly. He wasn't entirely certain Havoc's timing was the greatest, but what the Hell, he was a believer in honesty being the best policy. He supposed he had that in common with Ed, although he didn't think he would have done exactly what his younger self had apparently done. At least the confidence that Maes had reluctantly divulged explained why Roy had been part of his pre-Aleph memories. And the odd jealousy and pain he had detected in the older man's eyes when he had stumbled across Auric comforting Riza. And, he admitted to himself, the almost electric charge that he felt whenever he caught Roy's gaze in an unguarded moment.
"He'll never say anything to you about it, you know," Maes had said.
"I know," Auric had responded absently, still absorbing what he had just heard. "I wouldn't either, if our positions were reversed. It would hurt too much."
Maes had smiled crookedly at that. "You two are quintessentially the same. Probably the reason you fought like wild creatures from the get-go. And the reason you were drawn to each other." He nodded at Auric's start. "Oh yes. You both suffer from a surfeit of self-confidence and an inexplicable unwillingness to let anyone help you shoulder your burdens. Until you met each other, I doubt either of you had ever come across your equal for either pride or obstreperousness. You could both benefit from your own advice and learn to let go every once in a while – there's a reason it's called falling in love."
Auric had snorted uncomfortably. "Please, Maes, don't go all hearts and flowers on me. It sounds like it was just the one night, and under peculiar circumstances. Neither Roy nor Ed was thinking straight, and even if Ed hadn't disappeared, chances are nothing much would have come of it."
Maes had looked at him with a mixture of pity and irritation. "You're a fool if you choose to believe that. And he's a fool for not telling you himself."
A cold gust of wind blew through the square. Auric huddled deeper into his cloak, brooding. "We are all fools in love," he whispered softly into the wind. "A pretty pickle of a problem you've gotten us into, Ed."
"You have your orders, gentlemen," said Roy quietly. Sombre salutes greeted this announcement and the officers began to file out of the room. Two-thirds of them were headed with their units to the front-lines, there to reinforce the line. The remainder of his forces would be striking from behind enemy lines via the Gate, and as such had been selected for maximum deadly force.
The Flame Alchemist would, of course, be going with the second group.
Hughes stuck his head into the room. "He's left to set the beacon, sir. We're up." Roy nodded and got up, pulling on his gloves and double-checking to be certain he was carrying two other spare pairs in two separate places. His eyes met Maes's and he didn't need to be psychic to know the thought passing through his friend's mind: Once more unto the breach, dear friend, once more. His friend fell into step beside him, lowering his voice so as not to be overheard. "General. I think I should stay behind with Auric, he can teleport me with him afterwards."
"He can take care of himself," Roy said tersely. "Or perhaps he'd prefer to have Captain Hawkeye stay."
Maes put a hand out to stop him. "Stop bringing your hurt pride into this, Roy. You saw Al's face – you know this Gate is dangerous for Auric, and we don't even know why it's draining him so severely. Besides, if he's seriously injured, we'll have a hell of a time covering a retreat."
"There is no retreating this time, Maes," was the grim response. "This is it. We win, or Amestris falls. You know that as well as I."
"Are you so willing to lose Auric simply because you've lost Ed?"
"You're out of line, Colonel," snapped Roy. Maes simply looked at him. He sighed. "Fine. Do what you want. Armstrong can take your unit until you get there. Oh, and Colonel…."
"Yes, General?"
A glint of bitter humour flickered in the dark eyes. "My mother used to say, 'If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours; if not…it was never meant to be.' Which scenario do you think this situation falls under?"
It was still dark, the sky above glittering with the chilly light of the stars in the hours before dawn. A soldier shifted uneasily and was reprimanded with a curt word by his platoon leader. Another minute passed, and then there was the barest whisper of air and Auric was suddenly standing there before them, a few wisps of golden hair floating lightly about his face from the speed of his passage. "Al's got the array stabilized," he said briefly. "Let's do this before I come to my senses and have nothing to do with it. Or you."
"We're at the mercy of your timing," Roy pointed out testily.
"Oh, so now you need me and not your precious alchemists," muttered Auric darkly. He ignored the momentary look of surprise that passed over the General's face and suppressed the strange ache beneath his breastbone, knowing he had to maintain his connection to the array all those miles away. No beads this time to help him focus, but he had never really needed them anyway. Keeping his concentration on the beckoning array, he gathered himself, bringing his hands together in a sharp clap before casting them wide. Amidst a sudden intake of breath as his audience reacted to the familiar gesture, a small whirlpool of light formed. Little more than a pinprick at first, it swelled rapidly as he concentrated his will upon the energy nexus, quickly becoming wide enough for four men to step through it abreast. The Gatekeeper lifted his head, smiling a wolfish smile of satisfaction, and the word of power cracked out into the frigid stillness. "Kai!"
In an instant the Gate's swirling surface had cleared in obedience, and suddenly there were the sounds of artillery fire lighting up an unfamiliar night sky, and hilly terrain, and Al's anxious face through the frame of the Gate. Auric grinned reassuringly at the worried alchemist, then turned slightly to address the General. "You'd better hurry. Al won't be able to keep his end open for long."
Roy nodded brusquely. "Move out!" came the command, and immediately the ranks of men began to file through at a brisk trot. Auric gritted his teeth as a surge of energy displaced by the mass transfer coursed through his body, sending him to his knees and forcing him to brace himself with his palms pressed to the cold ground. Not too bad so far, he thought with a fleeting optimism that quickly faded as another wave of energy surged through the Gatestream and threw his body into spasms. Hmm. Actually, come to think of it, this really sucked. And then all coherent thought was gone as he gave his mind over to controlling the twisting Gatestream that bent to his will.
Maes hovered worriedly as officers and non-coms chivvied their men through the Gate at a near-run. The Gatekeeper's face was deathly pale and his hair hung lank about his face, damp and matted with sweat that ran down his face in rivulets and dripped onto his hands, which were bloodied from digging into the hard packed dirt surface of the parade ground as he fought to stay conscious and focused. Without another Gatekeeper, the task of controlling the Gatestream fell solely on Auric's shoulders, and the effort it was taking became clearer with every passing second. His chest heaved, bringing up blood, but still the Gatekeeper made no sound of protest, merely turning his head to spit and take in a shuddering breath. Unable to stand idly by any longer, Maes almost moved forward, wanting to do something, anything to help, but checked himself as Roy knelt by Auric's side, putting his hand on Auric's shoulder. From his vantage point, Maes could see the surprise on Auric's face and the indefinable emotion shimmering in Roy's eyes. For a moment, time seemed to stop. And then explosions could be heard in the distance. The reinforcements must have reached the frontlines and begun their diversionary assault, thought Maes. And so it begins….
The Gate shook, contracting for a moment before reluctantly dilating back to its original size as Auric's eyes suddenly blazed as if lit by a fire within, making his pallor all the more ghastly by contrast. His bruised hands dug deeper into the dirt as if drawing strength from the earth itself. Hawkeye's dust-streaked face appeared in the Gate. "General! If we're going to do this, it has to be now!"
Roy hesitated an instant, and in that moment Auric collapsed, his arms giving way as he fell sideways bonelessly into Roy's arms, barely conscious. "Shit. Guess this is it. You have to go now, General. I've done my part…now you go do yours."
Maes moved forward now and gently took Auric from Roy's arms. "I'll look after him, Roy. You have to go now." Roy didn't move, his eyes fixed on Auric's face. "General." Still no answer. "Flame Alchemist!" the Colonel barked, and reflexively Roy's head snapped up, eyes still wide with shock and hurt and denial. "You have to go now," Maes repeated softly. "Or all this will have been for nothing."
"Will you quit with the dramatic farewells and just go, you bastard!" snarled the blonde Gatekeeper suddenly, lurching upwards and shoving his face into Mustang's. "We don't have time for this and this Gate won't hold forever, you know!" He fell back, teeth clenched as another shudder racked his body. "Go now, asshole, or I'll get up and kick your butt through myself!"
Maes's jaw dropped and he stared at the blonde man in his arms as if he had just turned into a chimera with three heads. Roy's expression was similarly stunned…and then he smirked, very deliberately. "Well now…we wouldn't want you to have to do that in your current condition, would we? Might be a real strain, having to reach so high."
Auric summoned the energy to glare at the General. "Who are you calling short?" he gasped out, but the faintest hint of a smile was on his cracked lips. "I'll get you for that…later. Go. Now." The Gate wavered as if to underscore his words. Roy nodded and stood, running lightly through the Gate. He turned to look back and Maes felt Auric shift in his arms, raising his head. "Watch Al for me!" he called faintly. "Oh, and…take care of yourself, Roy." The Gate remained open just long enough for Maes to catch the fleeting look of understanding that passed over his friend's face before Auric's body jerked once more and a strangled moan finally passed his lips. Maes could feel the energies Auric had just released thrumming through the ground as they dissipated. Auric's head lolled against Maes's arm. He looked down.
"What was that about?"
"He seemed like he needed a kick in the pants," Auric mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut. "And I figured Ed would be the best person to do it. He's the reason we're in this mess, after all."
Quintessence is the essential presence of something or someone, the living thing itself that animates or gives something its deepest characteristics. The Quintessence partakes of both the Above and the Below, the mental as well as the material. It can be thought of as the ethereal embodiment of the life force that we encounter in dreams and altered states of consciousness. It is the purest individual essence of something that we must unveil and understand in order to transform it. Similarly, Soul in alchemy is the passive presence in all of us that survive through all eternity and is therefore part of the original substance of the universe. Ultimately, it is the One Thing of the universe. Soul is considered beyond the four material elements and thus conceptualized as a fifth element or Quintessence.
