Revy...

Revy straddles Rock, careful not to wake him as she lowered herself slowly to seat snug onto his lap, alining his cock with her core, nakedly testing it out with subtle undulations of her hips up and down, grinding a little as the covered tip touched between her legs. She wasn't wet anymore but grinding on his cock head was getting her wet. The imposing size felt good to rub against even as it scared her. This was just a test. She didn't even consider what would happen if Rock woke up and found her on him like this. Would he laugh at her? Become braggy or chatty? Or would he just go along with it? The first three weren't favorable especially after being so humiliated. The bed dipped a little when her knee sank into the mattress but Rock didn't stir from his slumber. She's kept quiet for most of the time she's been forced to lay still unable to move because she didn't want to wake Rock. At the time, it wasn't out of politeness but a matter of pride why she didn't disturb Rock's beauty sleep. Now, it was more experimentation. Her hands lightly ran down from his chest to his stomach, hot skin against her palm.

Was he supposed to be so hot with the AC on? Was his cock just as hot? A good question but there was only one way to find that out.

Inhaling deeply for courage and repeating the 'I'm not chicken shit, I'm not chicken shit', mantra in her head, Revy started pulling down Rocks shorts, exposing the broad head from the feel of it. She couldn't see anything very well, though her eyes had gotten adjusted to the darkness in the room. Because Rock was laying down, the waistband of the shorts kept snapping back in place, covering most of his privates and forcing her to reach in to pull out his junk which she wasn't game for. She only needed some of it, not all of the thing. This was just an experiment to prove to herself that she couldn't, no, that he wasn't a fit for her. There was no way that he could be. The thing filled up her palm barely leaving any space as she grasped it, she could only imagine how it would tear her tight little hole. The biggest things that ever went there were fingers and tongues. She didn't want to leave here not knowing that she was right to stop them when she did, that would haunt her for sure.

This is on my terms. She reminded herself. She was in control and she wouldn't suffer any pain.

Now or never. Biting her lip, Revy inhaled again then release the breath. Angling her body, she positions the head to sit on it when;

"I told you not to wake me,"

Rock woke up. Revy froze unsure what to do next.

Earlier...

He fell asleep?

The bastard fell asleep on me! Revy flabbergasted thought echoed in shock waves in her mind. What man willingly falls asleep next to a naked woman that he doesn't want to dip his wick in? Add that to the humiliation that he finds her attractive only he no longer wants her. No longer worth the trouble.

For a long strange time, she laid there unable to move as the silence set in, in time with Rock's soft snores; her anger cooling with the minutes. Apparently, being unable to do shit to the person your anger with when they were less than an arm's length away from you does put the 'oh, fuck it!' into perspective.

She couldn't even call the 'gay' card anymore to make sense of any of this as a justification.

NO bugger boy could do me like that. Revy mused recalling her time in the kitchen as Rock's meal and a shiver ran through her entire body at the memory. Now, Rock didn't want her.

He's given up on me. She mentally scoffed at that realization. Not the first time it's happened. But this time it felt more perplexing not to mention humiliating.

I feel like an idiot.

She was regaining some feeling back into her body, slow progress but still progress. There were a lot of pins and needles sensations at varied points but no movement yet. Pulse she didn't have to move right now so she just laid there, next to a sleeping man, naked. It wasn't like he was dead, either. Had any woman ever been in something like this? She didn't know if she should be confused or happy or insulted? She decided to mix it up as she reflected, a heavy sigh erupting soon after.

"This is why I hate the quiet so much."

The silence screams too much of the truth plus it left her alone with her thoughts, never a good thing in the best of times. To get through something like that when she wasn't hunting prey or in any immediate danger running high on adrenaline with the smell of a kill about to happen, she usually medicated with heavy music, loud and pulsating through her headphones or the tv would be on a full the volume or just with a bottle and pack of cigs to nurse her sorrows. But during this time, here with Rock sleeping next to her, several realizations manifested as she laid there in the quiet lulls thawing from her paralysis. Simple ones really but only clearer now because she wasn't angered anymore.

When she got in this paralyzed state, her guns taken away, she'd believed for certain that Rock would have taken advantage; any normal man or person would have but he didn't. She'd insulted and attacked him when he held all the cards all this time only revealing what he knows in a fit of anger when she'd pushed him too far and he lost his shit. Then he dismissed her, again, after showing her how wrong she was about him; leaving her pride as bruised as his back. She could barely make out the almost patterned black and blue spread on his upper back in the dying twilight. He'd fallen asleep with his back to her.

"Do you trust me that much?" Revy asked her bed partner in a hushed voice. Apparently, on some level he did.

She wasn't educated like Rock was but she knew people and you don't turn your back to someone you didn't trust even in your sleep. It's an unconscious thing, like a mode or a switch your body automatically flicked on unless you're a dimwit. Rock wasn't a fool which made her feel like a double idiot. And another thing to note, was that for once, she was not craving a drink. Which begs the question;

How can I feel this sane sober when it's quiet?

Maybe it was the episode that she had earlier from confronting some of the ghosts of her past, thanks to Rock. But she didn't feel tormented right now. That could be because someone else knew what she's been carrying around for years. The secret weight on her shoulders lightened a little. And she didn't even have to say anything, which avoided her the issue of talking about it.

Oh, fuck me! She groaned miserably, needing to stomp or punch at something but only managing a jerky motion in her left leg. It had finally happened. Someone had invested time and energy into understanding her rather than bolt for the hills like every foster family (there weren't that many) that's ever had the misfortune of meeting her. Scratch that, most of everyone that wasn't cut from the same cloth as she was avoided being even near her instinctively. Except for Benny but he was almost killed by both the F.B.I and the Mafia at the same time so that kinda makes him, if not bloodied then inducted. But not Rock. He just got catch up in a wave passing by.

She continued to chide herself quietly as the darkness grew in the apartment like vines encouraged by the blinds on the window. The icy breath from the AC on the wall licked at her naked body causing goosebumps to erupt and her nipples to harden. She was getting cold. And that annoyingly brought her body back into horny mode. Now she was horny but couldn't reach to scratch her itch; if that's not irony. She tried not to think about it too much, though a question remains stagnant in her head and she didn't have an answer since she'd chicken out, which pissed her off because she's never backed down from a challenge before.

After discovering that she could roll onto her side, much like a baby does when it's first learning to move; it was annoying and clumsy but eventually, she did it, Revy mused on what the answer to her silent question would have been like.

What would have happened if I hadn't kicked him into the wall?

Would the sex between them be gentle or rough or just disappointing?

He'd made her come a lot and he didn't. She crossed out disappointing and it's safe to take rough out of the picture. Rock knew about her bad experiences and he kept reassuring her that he wouldn't hurt her.

"Though after a year with his hands and Jergens, he thought he could score when the gentleman act had run its course." She reasoned to herself darkly.

In the year they've known each other, she's never known him to take a woman. And she would know! This was Roanpurr. You couldn't take a shit without someone knowing about it much less a whore. Yet Rock selflessly saw to her pleasure before his own when a lesser man wouldn't have even cared if she got off or not. Especially after so long a wait.

Did he want to make it good for me? Wait...does that make me a selfish lover?

Another groan followed another roll in the darkness as her guilt set in. Revy disliked regret.

Fuck this! she thought crossly. He wanted to fuck me. End of story.

Thinking more about it she remembered just how bad he wanted to make that happen!

A man like Rock doesn't beg, he negotiates. Even when she'd kidnapped him, a loaded gun to his head cocked and aimed, he'd asked her if she was joking instead of begging for his life. But this afternoon, he'd pleaded to her in desperate whispers;

"Please, say yes." Kissing from her inner thigh to her knee, he'd let her know, "want you so much, I crave you. Need to be inside you." Her core quivered at the memory and she bit into her lip. She wasn't going to forget those words any time soon.

Rock rolled over onto his back, a sigh releasing from his lips. He was sculpted and sexy without those office clothes on. His chest sported a thin crisp line of black that lead a goodie trail down his abs to his navel and lower. Again, he was growing hard in his sleep and intimidating as his boxers fought to keep his 'boy' contained.

"Intimidated? Me?" Something was off there. Sure, Rock had quite a snake in his pants. If Dutch ever fired him, he could get a job at Roland's doing floor shows. That thought irritated her just thinking about another woman doing anything with him or even looking at him without his clothes on, even if it was for money. She shouldn't be jealous but it's there every time she thinks about him with somebody else. He shouldn't be with anybody else but why would he want to be with her after she'd ...

after I just fucked up so much. Then as an afterthought. I'll kill him if he ever fucks anybody else but I'll kill the whore, first.

Future death promises aside, Revy wasn't happy being intimidated by Rock. In a lot of ways she could see that as something she couldn't control with her rough past and all and to be honest, she really didn't know the man. But what she did know was;

He wasn't a killer like everyone around here. And he isn't an abuser like my father was to me and my mother but he wasn't a pussy or a coward either.

She kinda felt a little guilty for calling him that earlier. Just a little. She knew what pussies and cowards would have done to her in Rock's position and it wasn't falling asleep- of all things! But Rock's proven to her that he shouldn't have to hurt her, regardless of what she thinks and it's not because he couldn't or he was afraid of her. He definitely wasn't afraid of her with or without her guns. But simply because he refuses to.

So what would have happened if I hadn't stopped you?

All conclusions said incredible sex. Unforgettable mind-blowing sex if her couple of orgasms were any measurement with a man that actually put her first. The first man to ever do that.

And I let my past ruin that for me.

In one afternoon, Rock turned everything she's been surviving on, on its head. At least when it came to him. Only him.

Her fists clench, a tight feeling in her fingers as she opened and closed all ten of them repeatedly as feeling oozed back into her arms. About five minutes later she was wiggling her big toe, one then the other before the other little pigs all came back online. There was a burning sensation in her legs when she tried to sit up like they were waking up after sitting in one place for too long. Pins and needles in the soles of her feet prickle and stung when she finally, finally, sat up on her own, resting them on the cool tiles, ready to take her first steps.

The first step was hell. The pain alone was something to talk about and for several minutes she stood there (stooped there?), one hand weakly holding on to the edge of the bed, breathing hard, sucking in her lip and closing her eyes against the torturous feeling running through her body. The simple act of walk had become a trial of fire as she inched her way around the bed to the corner where Rock- the son of a bitch, had thrown her gun. How dare he do that to her cutlass?

It seems a lifetime passed before she arrived at her destination. When Revy ran out of bed-edge to keep her balance, she had to lower herself to the tiles, dragging her naked ass to her weapon over icy tiles before propping herself up against the wall, wedged in the corner; cold steal in her hands, her labored breaths sounding loud in her ears.

Some light streamed through under the blinds as the street lights came on, banishing some of the darkness, showing her the man on the bed oblivious to her regaining her mobility with her gun in her hand.

Revy shook her head. "I don't know what to make of you," She told Rock quietly from her murky corner as she checked the magazine, sliding it out and tilting her head and shoulders trying to catch the light insistent on breaking into the room to bounce off the copper tips. A full clip. She slides it back up slowly listening to the soft 'click' as it locks in place, drew it back to clear the chamber then puts the safety on.

She sighed contentedly, "Now I feel like me again,"

Yet she could deny that Rock has pushed her into another part of herself. She couldn't deny that she's tasted pleasure that she wasn't going to give up to another woman. Revy is possessive, dangerously so but she wasn't stupid. Rock wants something more than just him finger fucking her and sucking her clit and tits while he strangled his snake. He wants sex. Something that she might not be able to handle mentally, and physically it was- scares me shitless. She reluctantly admits to herself and not even out loud. Especially with Rock's size, it's...it's hard to imagine how that wouldn't hurt and men had a tendency to lose control when they fucked.

She tried to suppress shuddered unsuccessfully as the unwanted memory of her rape came back into her head from some dark part of her mind. The power of it caused her to literally clamp her legs shut tight, hugging her knees with one hand while the other clutched her gun in a death grip. Her hands shook and she felt like someone slammed a hammer into her chest.

A big ass fucking hammer!

"I'm not fucking afraid. I'm not fucking afraid, I'm not," She chanted to herself in an attempt to convince the girl inside that she wasn't that same little girl anymore.

Minutes past before she let go of her knees and eased her grip off her gun to rise from the corner unsteadily to her feet. It appalled her to feel so weak and vulnerable because of something that happened.

How can a fucking memory have power over me?

Her muscles had come fully back online in the time she's spent in the corner with only a little stiffness left over from her 'thawing' as she walks to stand over the bed, gun in hand over a sleeping. De Ja Vu.

After tucking the gun under his pillow carefully, Revy straddles Rock's lower body, keeping her mantra playing in her head to spur her on. This was to prove, if only on a small scale, that she wasn't afraid. That it's a choice for her to refuse or choose to give someone access to her body and not out of fear.