Ch 9 Training
Hermione's POV
Hermione Granger loved to learn new things. She was known as a know it all and a book warm. But out of all of the times for Professor Snape to decide to teach her advanced magic was not now. She just started her sixth year in which classes were much more advanced than the previous year in order to prepare her for her NEWTs. She was happy by the prospect of new learning material. The amount of homework they were given increased and under normal circumstances she would be thrilled. But now she had come to the startling realization of just how much she had on her plate. And Professor Snape significantly added to it.
She should be flattered by Professor Snape's insistence. But she knew that he mostly wanted her to learn out of necessity and not necessarily because he thought she was capable. The information they possessed was valuable and it would be catastrophic if it ever fell in the wrong hands. She understood the need to learn occlumency. She really did. But that didn't mean she couldn't be upset or stressed out by how little free time she now had.
When he summoned her to meet with him in the Room of Requirement after they agreed to work together. She thought that maybe he already found some information. She was wrong. It was then he informed her that he decided to start the occlumency lessons that she just learned at that moment she was doing.
She wasn't sure why he provided her with the other training though.
When he called her name and stopped her in the hallway when she was surrounded by other students she was confused and initially concerned as she followed him to wherever he was leading her. She could feel the other students' eyes follow her as she passed. Curious as to what she could have possibly done to be on the receiving end of the Professor's anger.
He never said anything to her as they walked. Nor did she think he would answer if she asked. They simply walked in silence with her struggling to keep up with his long stride. It didn't take long for them to reach their destination which only added to her growing list of questions. Why were they at the hospital wing?
When she entered she first noticed that there were no students lying on the beds. A rare sight she had never seen before. Every time she was there, it was usually because Harry was hurt. Or she herself required medical assistance. Madam Pomphrey was busy bustling around preparing for when the next student would arrive seeking medical help. She was too consumed in whatever she was doing to have heard them enter.
She was quickly startled when Professor Snape called her name. "Madam Pomphrey?"
"Severus. How nice of you to visit me." She then took notice that he was not alone.
"Miss Granger? What happened? What's wrong?" She immediately moved forward with her wand in her hand to start performing diagnostic spells. She was probably worried that something was wrong with her old injury.
But Professor Snape held up his hand to stop her. "Nothing. She is not injured."
Confusion immediately covered her face. "Oh. Then why?"
"I believe you mentioned requiring assistance in the infirmary."
Madam Pomphrey seemed pleased that he had remembered her telling him that. And a smile grew on her face as she realized where he was going with this. Though Hermione still wasn't completely sure what any of this had to do with her. "Why yes."
"Miss Granger has expressed an interest in learning charms not offered in the class curriculum." Well, this was the first time she was hearing about this interest of hers in healing. But she couldn't exactly complain. Healing charms are extremely difficult. And there was a reason they weren't included in the curriculum. She was pleased and impressed by his recommendation. She couldn't deny the usefulness of learning to heal. They were in a war and she wasn't going to kid herself and pretend as though she, Harry and Ron will never be in a life-threatening situation again.
His implication was well received. A huge smile broke out on her face as she directed Hermione to follow her into her office. "Of course. I have only heard good things about you and it would be nice to have someone in here who is not requiring medical assistance."
It didn't take long for the Matron to sit her down and start going over various books she would read and discussing a working schedule for her. She was pleased with the opportunity. However, she was pressed for time. She could only meet up with Professor Snape on Saturdays and Wednesdays for a short window of time. She had her normal homework to complete, and rounds as a Prefect to do two times a week. On Sundays, she was in the hospital wing. And now her Wednesday evenings were filled with her new lessons. There wasn't much time for her to continue her part of the research on the Horcruxes. And Professor Snape knew that. And so he was very demanding in his lessons to ensure that she learned as quickly as possible.
She was sitting in a chair in a very empty Room of Requirement as Professor Snape paced back and forth in front of her. His hands were folded behind his back and he barely spared her a glance as he lectured.
"Imagine your memories or thoughts as not just mental constructs but as if physically written down. Organize them from random pages to your most precious secrets." He spoke softly though she could hear a hint of raspiness from his voice. He never once stuttered or backtracked his words. It was as if he was already prepared and practiced what he was going to say long in advance to actually saying it. He stood tall and when he turned his cloak flared out behind him. He looked quite imposing and with her sitting in the chair, most people would be intimidated and feel like they were in the middle of an interrogation. But Hermione didn't feel nervous or intimidated in the slightest. She was excited. "Think of the mind as layers. If someone was using legilimency their first glance would be of nonsense and they would see nothing of importance. But if they were in for too long, at which point you would be undoubtedly aware, then they would dig deeper until they found something of value."
"How exactly do I go about shielding my mind?" She was soaking in each word like a lifeline since one day it just might be. She was aware of what occlumency from Harry's lessons, but due to his lack of enthusiasm and anger, she barely learned anything from his lesson that proved to be useful. From what Harry said it always seemed that Professor Snape wasn't teaching and constantly making the situation worse. But from what she was learning, this way was very much a personal experience that only she could accomplish. It didn't matter what Professor Snape said or did. It was up to her to shield her mind and only she could do it.
"Create a mental block. A mental image of a box, a scene, a defence, something that would stop someone from physically accessing it if it were real. You will have to try different techniques. And possibly layer your defenses." He gave her very vague directions on how to actually protect her mind. However, it was clear that it was something she would develop and not everyone had the same techniques. She understood that it was going to take many sessions of him using legilimency on her to figure out what defence works for her, she honestly wasn't embarrassed over the idea of her professor invading her mind. It was the only way she could learn, she needed practical experience that she wouldn't be able to get otherwise. And she knew he didn't want to go rummaging through his female student's mind. She trusted that if he did end up seeing anything too personal he would immediately go in a different direction. But it wasn't as if he was seeking out any of her personal memories. Or any specific memories for that matter. "It will take time and will need to be practiced every day. Before you go to bed, clear your mind. And as soon as you wake up, organize your thoughts and practice protecting them."
Occlumency didn't seem to hurt as much as Harry made it out to be. But she had a feeling that Snape might have been less harsh with her than she was with him. It's also possible that since she was more willing to learn that she wasn't resisting him as much. She wasn't simply trying to prevent him from entering her mind. She wasn't strong enough for that. But once he was in her mind she was able to keep him out of certain memories intentionally now.
It was slow progress but it was getting easier. And now she was trying to figure out which technique works for her. She originally tried to mentally imagine fire as a defence. But even in her mind, it was too hard to control and left her physically tired. Using a maze was useful but creating a layout wouldn't work in a jiffy. She was thinking that maybe using Hogwarts and utilizing the different rooms for different memories.
She was picking up on it alot easier than she thought she would. For some reason she initially thought her failur at divination would be indicative of her failure at occlumency. But she was wrong. And like all of her studies she attacked the subject matter vigorously.
But there was still one area of her private lessons she had reservations with. Fighting.
"And can I ask what the need is for me to learn hand-to-hand combat," she asked as she placed down a water bottle and towel. She wore a pair of leggings and a zip-up sweater. She didn't know what she was supposed to wear for this. But she knew that her school uniform wasn't the best outfit for the job.
His hands were folded behind his back. She didn't know how he was going to teach her but she thought that him wearing his teaching robes would be a bit constricted. "If you are in the middle of a fight and your wand is disarmed. Then what?"
"Run and hide." She knew that if it came down to fighting she would but she knew that fighting wasn't her strongest suit. The fight at the Ministry was her only real experience of an actual dual. And though it was quite intense and rather accurate. It was still rather limited.
He remained impassive but he seemed pleased by her answer. She wasn't one of those Gryffindors running head first into a fight. "Yes. But you might not have that luxury. And when the enemy eventually catches up with you then what are you going to do? Simply stand there and die." Well, when he put it like that. "No, you keep fighting no matter what and you use whatever tools are at your disposal. And most people forget their own bodies are a tool."
"Okay I understand that." And she did but there was a certain aspect of the training to fight that made her hesitant. Fighting wasn't something she could simply learn from a book. It required physical practice. "But I don't think I can hit you."
He smirked at the admission. "If you manage to hit me. I won't hold it against you. And when we get to sparing. We will both be pulling our punches. The point is getting used to blocking and attacking. Neither of us has the time to explain a mysterious injury." She appreciated how he left out the possibility that he didn't want to hit her and that she realistically couldn't hit him. "For now you will be practicing on this."
He indicated to behind her. Apparently, while he was talking, he was also imagining the setup of the room. She turned and found that the room had added a very large punching bag strung up behind her. She felt him move up behind her. She could feel him towering over her shoulder. "Get used to the feeling of making contact and practice your form."
Hermione felt awkward trying to fight. She understood how it could come in handy. She too noticed how witches and wizards solely depended on magic and rarely considered what they deemed as muggle means to be effective or useful. But fighting was never her strong suit. There was a reason that even though she studied as hard as she did she still never received the highest marks in Defence. It was because she lacked the conviction to actually hurt someone. Like right now. Professor Snape was telling her to try and punch him. But she just couldn't do it.
She knew that if she was in a real fight she could but she just couldn't pretend in this instance that she wanted to fight him. And he was clearly growing annoyed by her reluctance. He was under the impression that she wouldn't even come close to hitting him. He wouldn't let her. But she didn't know since she wasn't willing to try. She had no problem training with the punching bag and he said her technique was fine and had improved and that she had picked up defence combinations fairly quickly but practicing them in a real-time setting was proving difficult for her.
But after a few sessions of no progress on that front. He decided to just bite the bullet and try to hit her. She knew that this was just practice but the first time he threw a punch her way, she automatically brought her arm up to block it and threw a punch of her own. She didn't stop to think about the fact that she threw a punch at him, though he did deflect it, she just reacted. And he was extremely pleased. They were finally making some clear headway.
Soon Hermione started to enjoy fighting. In a way, it was as if the two of them were in a strange dance. And she couldn't deny how fun it was to try to get past the other's defenses. He always won. But the fight started getting longer and he did appear to get more tired each time they fought. She was always drenched in sweat when they were done but she enjoyed the challenge. And each time she left, her eyes shone with promise that next time she would win. And she would keep trying until she did.
She gained more insight into the man she was constantly in the presence of. Every time she was in a room with him she could feel her eyes single him out for a moment before going back to whatever she was doing.
She always knew she could trust him and despite confidently telling Sirius that many times she was still wary about him joining their group. Mostly because he could be rather unpleasant when he wanted to be. And though it was her discovery of the Horcrux that descended them down this path, she was worried that since he was her teacher he would try and order her to stay out of it. But he never did and she really appreciated it. It was probably due to, unlike the Order who still saw her as a helpless child, he recognized that despite her age she was involved in this war and instead of dismissing her incompetence when it came to fighting as the others did. He was teaching her how to defend herself.
It wasn't hard for her to fall into a routine with him. And she found herself not minding all of the time she was left alone with him. It should have made her uncomfortable or even weary but she felt comfortable with the man's presence. In fact, on most days she was looking forward to what he would teach her.
She enjoyed working in silence with him. She preferred it to talking. It constantly annoyed her when Harry and Ron would try and engage her in conversation when all she wanted was to be left alone to complete her work. It was easier for her to concentrate when she didn't have any distractions. And despite the professor constantly looming over her and criticizing her every move she didn't find it distracting.
He never once stopped and asked if she had problems keeping up. He knew she could take it. He didn't treat her with child gloves. He was blunt and truthful, usually in a harsh manner. But he was always honest with her. And she appreciated that despite all of the secrets occurring during the war. The ones the Order and Dumbledore were keeping from her and the others. The ones she was keeping from then and Harry and Ron. He wasn't actively keeping secrets from her. Well, he was honest about anything that could impact her. And she knew it would be the best she could get.
She always thought that the man must have been so lonely in his life as a spy. But now she realized he probably craved the idea of being left alone. She understood now more than ever why he was so serious and didn't take any nonsense. He had to keep up with so many secrets and lies. He didn't have time to deal with people's bullshit when he had so much on his plate. She realized how much of a burden she probably was. And how much she was now interfering in his life. But she was truly grateful for what he was doing for her. She actively tried not to be a hindrance and to obey every direction he gave her. It wasn't that hard for her.
She found that ever since she started researching the Horcruxes and dark magic that even though she was severely overwhelmed with her homework it didn't challenge her the way their secret project did. And she loved the challenge. She found herself quickly completing her homework in order to try and solve a much harder and bigger problem. And these lessons he was providing her with did challenge her. She constantly had to push herself to do better and be better. And once she thought she was starting to get the hang of something, he would up the difficulty.
The way he taught her in their private lessons was quite different from how he interacted with her during class. He was equally knowledgeable, stern and demanding in both settings. But alone with her, he was more patient. And more hands-on. In class, he would usually stay up at the front of the class, though during Potions he would walk up and down the aisles. He always kept his distance from being too close to the students. But right now he was a lot closer.
"This is your center." He was standing behind her and hovering while she faced the punching bag. He placed his hand on her stomach. She could feel his fingers sprawling out and the heat emitting from his skin through her shirt. Her breath hitched inside her chest while his breath tickled her ear. "This is your core." She found herself struggling to concentrate while standing in this position. She felt a wave of heat rush to her cheeks and it wasn't just from the exercise. He must have known what he was doing. He was touching her. Though it was for teaching purposes. She doubted he knew about the effect he was having on her. "Wherever this faces you punch. It helps give you power."
She felt his hand slip away though he didn't hastily remove it. She figured he would when he realized he was still touching her. She knew that physical contact was something he tried to avoid as much as possible. That instinct came with years of torture. But she tried not to think about that. She promised she would never talk about that again. "But shouldn't I face more to the side since it will make me a smaller target?"
She could still feel his chest lightly skimming her back. "If they are wielding a knife. Yes. But for this no. You're small so you are fast but you will need all the strength you can gather."
She memorized all of his comments and suggestions. He wasn't just teaching her basic choreography. He was teaching her how to fight in a way that suited her body. "Now make a fist. Don't tuck your thumb in. you will end up breaking it." She found herself quickly correcting her position. "Okay not throw a punch. Don't throw your entire weight in. it will cause you to be off-balance. And it will be harder for you to punch consistency." Okay, more controlled actions, she could do that. "You're stronger with your legs. And you are better at kicking. But don't end up relying on it, you will then become predictable."
He guided her and had her run through a variety of different punches and kicks. After an hour she felt like she accomplished absolutely nothing. But Professor Snape had a different opinion. "Better. But still, much to do. We will meet up again in two weeks. Keep practicing."
She felt physically sore. And very much in desperate need of a shower. Her body ached and she had to use a glamour charm to hide the bruises on her knuckles. To ensure that her friends wouldn't notice and become immediately concerned.
Professor Snape was in a much better condition. He didn't look or move any differently than he normally did. He wore his usual buttoned frock coat, though he had long since removed his outer robes. The dark hues of his clothes made his skin appear more pale and sallow. He walked so silently in his dragon hide boots and more than once snuck up behind her. She found herself watching him as he packed up what little belongings he had. She had paid a lot of attention to his demonstrations but also to the way he moved. The familiarity he had in his movements and positions when he fought. He never thought about what he was doing. To him, it was muscle memory.
He must have noticed her eyes on the back of his neck.
He turned to face her when he stood up. "What is it?"
"I didn't take you for a boxer sir." She said with a slight smile.
"I am not. It is a good survival technique."
Yes, they had already established that. But considering most if not all of his fights involved wands and not muggles. It was quite odd that he would spend so much time training and becoming as prolific in hand-to-hand combat if there was no personal interest and passion in the activity. "And a stress releaser."
"Indeed," He looked at her curiously with an arched brow before he stood up straighter and a scowl overcame his features. "Now I don't want you in my sight for the rest of the day."
She quickly agreed but she couldn't help but note the lack of venom and disdain in his voice. He would deny it if asked. But Hermione had a feeling he enjoyed these lessons with her. It gave him an excuse to stop being a spy and grading and continue with one of his personal hobbies. Though it was probably not the same since she was involved with it.
She felt guilty in a way, she was really enjoying these lessons with Professor Snape and Madam Pomphrey. Though she did recognize how the time aspect of her lessons was a burden on them both. She almost forgot how all of her free time was taken up and how she may be neglecting her friends.
When she was with Professor Snape they were either training or conducting research and she couldn't tell the others why she was hanging around him most nights. There would be too many questions that she couldn't answer, at least right now.
So she bent the truth a little and told them that she was spending more time in the Hospital wing shadowing Madam Pomphrey than she actually was. It wasn't a lie, she was taking lessons with the matron. It was the perfect cover story. And none of them seemed to question it. They were impressed with her new extracurricular activity, especially since none of them recalled her ever expressing an interest in healing before. But once she said she was doing it for the next time Harry finds himself covered in blood they laughed and shrugged it off.
And though they haven't noticed her lie about where she is. They did notice a change in her. Ginny was the first to notice the physical change in her. How she appeared to be more fit and growing more muscle on her arms. And though Hermione didn't notice a drastic change when she looked in the mirror. She did feel more confident. More relaxed and less uptight for some reason. It was perhaps because her occlumency lessons left her so exhausted she passed right out at night gaining a wonderfully long sleep. Or perhaps the hand-to-hand combat helped her relieve any stress she had built up. But either way, when she was with her friends she felt as if she was truly able to let go and not worry and simply have fun with them in the moment.
She did worry that one of them would visit her while she was supposed to be in the hospital. But it never happened. Unless Madam Pomphrey lied to them on her behalf. It was entirely possible. She always seemed to know more than most about the ongoing Hogwarts despite never saying it. Hermione was initially concerned how it may look to her that Professor Snape brought her here. But she never questioned it, at least out loud, and simply moved in stride. The Matron was not what she expected.
She never interacted with the Patron much. Unless it was when she was stuck in bed in the hospital wing. The woman was very caring with a no-nonsense attitude. She was also incredibly fast-paced. Not only physically. But mentally. Out of all of the students she had attended to over the decades she has probably heard every excuse in the book and seen every possible injury and ailment. And despite the hesitancy and lack of honesty from the students she never questioned their cover stories, always immediately moving forward and fixing them.
"I must say it was quite a nice change for you to be here without seeking medical assistance," Madam Pomphrey said while they were documenting the number of potions in stock at the infirmary.
"Sorry," Hermione said with a wince. It must suck that the only time the Matron got to meet the students was when they were in her care and taking in their medical conditions. She must have known more about some of the students based on their medical history than some of their best friends.
She tutted at her. "Don't apologize dear." She gave her a small smile. "Your school years have definitely been untraditional."
That was an understatement. Hermione knew the stress each year of Hogwarts made her go through. But she never really considered the effect it had on the staff, especially on the Matron. She must have been under a lot of stress. "It must be a struggle for you. having to keep up."
She patted her on the arm. "Oh don't worry dear. I have always managed."
Hermione had no doubt. If anyone could, it would be her. "My second year must have been bad with so many of us petrified."
"Actually it wasn't too bad. The few of you who were unfortunate enough to experience it were permanent residents here." Yes, that was at least the nice thing of being petrified; she had no memory of being trapped in the magical coma. She couldn't imagine being stuck in her own body for months being able to hear and see but not being able to move or talk. But she didn't want to think about her own stay in the infirmary. All of the times she came here weren't for any pleasant reasons. And none of them were quick. "Your third year was worse. All of the dementors stationed here caused so many students to be sick. And it always came in waves." At least she had a moment of rest.
Madam Pomphrey stared at her curiously. Hermione couldn't help but feel uncomfortable as if she was being scrutinized and yet there was only warmth coming from the matron. "I have always heard that you were a skilled student. But I never thought I would experience it myself." Hermione felt heat rise to her cheeks and she found herself lost for words. She hadn't worked with the matron long and most of her training was limited to study and potions. She had not yet had the chance to practice the charms she learned nor did she think that simply reading a few books was something to be proud of. "Oh there is no need to be embarrassed, all of the teachers have nothing but praise for you."
"Not all." She knew that there were at least two professors who wouldn't willingly compliment her. One of them was Professor Trelawny who thought she was hopeless. Her aura and energy were apparently all boring and not aligned with divination. The other, well if he did think anything nice about her, he wouldn't say it aloud.
"Hmm maybe. But you definitely have Professor Snape's seal of approval." The matron didn't see anything odd about her statement. Though Hermione thought it was a strange thing to say.
"I highly doubt it," Hermione said incredulously.
She gave her a comforting smile. She seemed to understand Hermione's confusion. "He wouldn't have recommended you for this if he didn't think you were up for the challenge. He has only ever brought a couple of students over his tenure to me for medical experience. And you are picking up everything quite quickly."
She could hear the compliment, but it just made Hermione sigh with worry. "There is still so much to learn."
"There is time. And I won't be teaching you everything. If you choose to do so and go to medical school, you would have a firm basis and your first year will be exceptionally easier."
"I am not exactly sure what I am going to do in the future." Hermione hasn't given her future much thought recently. She was too preoccupied with Britain's future rather than her own. She once thought about joining the Ministry and working in the Department of Magical Creatures or Law. She also considered the possibility of being a Curse Breaker. But now she didn't even know what kind of future she would have. It all depended on if Voldemort won or not. And if she survived. There was always a possibility that she wouldn't. It seemed rather bleak to plan for a future that might not occur.
The matron gave her a sympathetic smile. "Yes well, this war has clouded many people's future." Too many.
But Hermione didn't particularly want to think about the war right now and it seemed that neither did she. Besides, their time was up and they had finished doing the monthly inventory.
There was plenty of time to worry about the current state of the wizarding world. But right now Hermione just wanted to live in the moment and be a normal student. Even though she knew that it wouldn't last.
