Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. Not making any money of this. Love the idea of Ed and Roy. Please leave me a review if you like the story.
Author's Comment:
This really leads on from the previous chapter, The Snake And The Cross. They were supposed to be two parts of one chapter, but wound up being way too long. So please forgive that this is probably ever-so-slightly shorter than than my last few entries…not by too much, I don't think, and I quite like how this one turned out. As usual, let me know what you think!
For an explanation of the Chapter Title/song credits, please see the end of the story.
Chapter 15: A Place Between
The officer saluted smartly and turned on his heel to leave, casting a surreptitious glance at the General as he did so. While he had always respected the man – his reputation stemmed from the Ishbal massacre, after all, and he had had ample opportunity to observe the Flame Alchemist's handiwork up close and personal this go-around - his regard had increased thousand-fold at the fact that the famous Fullmetal Alchemist had returned from whatever unknown place he had been in for the last four years solely to save him. Loyalty like that was earned, and not easily either. Funny thing was though, the scuttlebutt had always been that the two harboured a mutual antipathy – the yelling that went on whenever those two were in the same room was legendary, and paycheques had changed hands on the length of the argument, volume as measured by the number of hallway lengths away you had to get before you couldn't hear them, and the number of times the word, "bastard" was used, with bonus points when used in combination with other insults, e.g. "bastard dog-of-the-military." Guess you really couldn't believe everything you heard.
The General looked up from the chart he was studying. "Was there something else, Captain?" The man's eyes were weary and ringed by dark shadows, and he was moving stiffly, his jacket hanging open and revealing that his ribs were heavily taped. Still, his gaze was sharp enough, the officer gauged – he had probably refused anything for the pain to ensure his mind stayed clear.
"No, sir. Just…glad you're all right, General Mustang, sir."
The dark gaze softened fractionally, and the man inclined his head. "I appreciate the sentiment, soldier. Dismissed."
"Yes, sir!" said the officer, exiting the tent hastily. So hastily, in fact, that he tripped over a tent-peg and stumbled into someone rounding the corner. "Hey! Watch where you're going…" he stopped abruptly as he met an annoyed yellow gaze. "Holy…er, I mean, I beg your pardon, Major Elric, sir…and Major Elric," he added hurriedly as the Earth Moving Alchemist came up behind his brother.
The shorter of the two men smiled tightly. "That's all right…Captain, I haven't gone by a military rank in a long time. Fullmetal will do. And drop the sir."
"Yes, sir, I mean…."
Alphonse Elric intervened gently, "We're keeping you from your duties, Captain. Carry on." The officer saluted again and fled the scene. Just wait until the others heard about this! A real, live encounter with the Fullmetal Alchemist himself! So he was a little shorter than expected, but he had real presence – something about the way he held himself? And that amazing hair was a real waste on a guy.
A pair of golden eyes watched him go sourly. "I hate it when I have to guess at whether I'm supposed to know someone. I don't know how much longer I can do this, Al. I'm going to slip up."
"No, you won't," his brother said reassuringly. "We're in the military, you can always just use their ranks and no one will notice that you don't remember their names. You were never big on remembering them anyway. Besides, you've been gone for four years – everyone will make allowances for that. People do move on, you know."
Auric's eyes flicked over to the half-open tent-flap. "Not the man I'm going to see."
Roy held himself up straight - the very model of a modern Major-General, he thought wryly - until the thump of the tent-flap against canvas signalled that the Captain had left. Then he let his shoulders slump ever so slightly as he breathed out very, very slowly. Broken ribs hurt like hell, and why he had refused the morphine proffered by the doctors was beyond him at the moment. It would have eased the pain, and he could have caught a few hours of shut-eye. More importantly, it would have softened the harsh edges of reality and afforded him some peace, if only for a little while.
No. That was the first step on the slippery slope to addiction. He'd seen it happen to soldiers before. At first it was just a temporary fix for the pain, but later it because a necessity, a craving, an uncontrollable need for the sweet oblivion that drove them mad. He would not go down that path. Mainly because right now it seemed so very tempting that he knew that he would be lost once he gave in and surrendered to its siren song in an attempt to find that haven he had found but once before, in Edward Elric's arms. A place out of time – a place between. Roy closed his eyes and deliberately flexed his injured hand, wincing at the pain but welcoming it as a distraction from the morbid path his thoughts had taken. He gasped silently, chewing on the inside of his lip as he waited for the first wash of pain to ebb away before sagging against his desk in relief. Perhaps he really should get some sleep – one of the wonderful things about rank was that you got to demand a field cot in your office, and right now the rickety, sagging object was looking incredibly alluring. The other wonderful thing about being the highest ranking officer present was getting to award field promotions. He'd promptly made Maes a Brigadier General, and the look on his friend's face had been priceless.
"What?"
"You heard me, Brigadier Hughes. For uncommon creativity in psychological warfare."
Maes's face had darkened. "Roy…about that…."
"Quite inventive. Truly inspired. You must have been planning this from the moment you saw him in my office," and Roy had let the bright brittleness of his voice carry the accusation far more effectively than any amount of ranting and raving would have done. "In future though, I would appreciate being kept informed about such plans before they surprise me on the battlefield. Or was the shock value a key element in your strategy as well?"
"Would you have agreed to it if you'd known?" Maes had asked quietly, pointedly.
Roy had been silent, but Maes had read the answer in his eyes. "Ed always was your weak spot, Roy. You're able to be objective about everything else in pursuit of your goals but the Elric brothers and Ed in particular. We needed him. I wouldn't be much of an Intelligence Officer if I didn't make use of a heaven-sent opportunity to boost morale and weaken the enemy. Sir."
"No one's questioning your professional judgement, Brigadier," Roy had responded coolly. "But you'll forgive me if I don't feel like discussing my personal affairs with you at the moment; I have a war to win and a country to run. And you have new responsibilities awaiting, I believe."
He'd promptly delegated most of the operational and logistical issues to the newly minted Brigadier, leaving him free to work on the details of cleaning up the remaining pockets of violence and consolidating his power in the vacuum left by the Fuhrer's unpleasant demise at the hands of the resurrected Fullmetal Alchemist. It was challenging at a remove from Central, but Roy hadn't become the youngest General in the military's history for nothing. And Maes was trying to make amends by throwing his rumour mills into high gear and putting out propaganda-appropriate pieces – the war-hero bit always played well with the masses, and their eyes and ears in the capital were already seeing a groundswell of support for the heroic General Roy Mustang. Roy's mouth twisted cynically. If they could only see the blood on his hands.
The cot beckoned, and he directed his steps accordingly, the boots on his feet feeling like lead weights as he shuffled over. Nearly there…and then he tripped over his own feet. Shit. It was going to hurt like hell when he hit the floor, he thought dizzily, but instead a strong pair of arms caught him as he went down on his knees. "Thanks," he gasped out, opting to stay still for the moment until the world stopped spinning.
"No problem," came the wryly amused voice. "Although I have to say this is becoming a bit of a habit with you." A pair of cat-like golden eyes met his, and Auric cocked an eyebrow at him. "Much more of this and I'll be forced to conclude that you're falling for me."
Roy's eyes followed the golden-haired Gatekeeper as he bustled briskly but silently around the tent. Auric had easily gotten the taller man onto the cot, his touch gentle so as not to aggravate any injuries, but his slight build belying a surprisingly wiry strength that Roy remembered well. After a moment of hesitation, Auric had stripped off his coat to use as a blanket when a few minutes of searching had turned up nothing else suitable, and Roy was finding it strangely comforting. It smelled right, if nothing else, and the fringe benefit was being able to observe Auric's trim, black-clad figure at close range unencumbered by cloak or cape or coat. Just like Ed's, except for the one addition.
"Do you ever remove your gauntlets?" Roy asked drowsily. He could feel himself slipping into unconsciousness despite his best intentions, into that pleasant state in-between dreams and reality when the most inconsequential questions seemed to carry the most weight.
Auric looked over, startled. "Not really. Not when I'm in the open like this, anyway. Self-defence." He flexed his forearm, clenching his hand, and to Roy's surprise a thin, flat blade about eight inches long slid out smoothly, extending forward over the back of Auric's fist. He could see how it might easily catch an opponent unawares, and would certainly ensure that a punch delivered would have more than the usual consequences. The Gatekeeper shrugged self-consciously as he retracted the blade. "In case I'm otherwise disarmed. It's come in handy more than once. Now go to sleep, General, you need to rest or you won't be of any use to anyone."
"Don't want to go to sleep," Roy slurred, even as his eyes fluttered shut. With his hair falling over his eyes and fatigue forcing his guard down, he looked surprisingly young and frail as he curled up on the cot, hugging Auric's coat to him.
Auric thought fleetingly that it had been a good idea to post Al at the entrance to give them privacy – he was pretty sure the General be mortified if anyone caught him looking this vulnerable. But this was not how he had envisioned his meeting going. "Why not? Aren't you tired?" he asked gently, as one would speak to a fractious child.
"Because…you'll be gone when I wake up," came the barely audible whisper. "Can't deal with that again, Ed. Hurts."
The Gatekeeper bit his lip, then dragged a folding chair over to the cot and sat down. "No, I won't. I'll sit here with you," he promised, reaching out and taking one of Roy's normally elegant, long-fingered hands in both of his own, careful not to jostle it – from the looks of the swelling, the Flame Alchemist wouldn't be snapping his fingers again anytime soon. Roy's colour seemed a little too hectic in his pale cheeks, and Auric frowned. "I think you're a little febrile, although it's probably just your injuries. Here, drink a little water before you sleep," and he reached for the glass of water on the camp table. He slipped an arm behind the man as he handed him the glass, and was unpleasantly disturbed anew by how little the man weighed. He'd obviously been pushing himself to his physical limits even before this whole mess had started. Masking his concern with brusqueness, he settled Roy back against the single thin pillow and put the glass away before returning to his seat and taking Roy's hand again. "Sleep now."
"I'm sorry." A half-delirious mumble.
"What for?"
"I never told you."
Auric held his breath. Perhaps he could salvage something of his original intentions after all. "What didn't you tell me?"
"Never told you…you left and I never told you…." Roy mumbled restlessly, and Auric found himself gently brushing the man's bangs from his face and laying a hand soothingly on his brow.
"That's all right. I'm here now."
Roy's breathing seemed to grow deeper as he calmed down under Auric's touch. "Never told you…I know why you had to go alone…isn't there a place between?" His words were halting and broken, almost as if they were but parts of a larger whole. Auric could have sworn that he had heard them before. But where? He searched his memory, puzzled, and then stiffened imperceptibly as a memory floated into his mind of their last night in Risembool. He had retired before Al and Winry to give them some privacy to make their goodbyes, and as he had walked up the stairs, he had heard Winry singing softly:
I
know you're gone
I
watched you leave
I
always thought
That
it was me
You
made it clear
With
that last kiss
You
couldn't live a life
With
maybe's and whatif's
When
every boat has sailed away
And
every path is marked and paved
When
every road has had its say
Then
I'll be bringing you back
Home
to stay
When
every town looks just the same
When
every choice gets hard to make
When
every map is put away
Then
I'll be bringing you back
Home
to stay
And
now I know why you had to go alone
Isn't
there a place between
Reach
out to me
Call
out my name
And
I would bring you back again
Today
Auric pressed his lips together, fighting an odd swell of emotion. "I guess we're all looking for that place between, Roy," he said softly. "But now I know. And I'll come home when it's time, all right? Sleep now. I'll be here when you wake." Roy stirred slightly, and a very faint smile touched his lips as Auric shook his head ruefully and cursed himself for being a maudlin fool. "Sleep."
Again, credit where it is due and a plug: the song, "Home To Stay" (Amy Foster-Gillies/Jeremy Lubbock) can be found on the self-titled debut album by Josh Groban, a lovely, talented young man who spent some time at one of my alma maters before pursuing his professional career. It's an amazingly beautiful song sung with deep emotion by a great singer, and I highly recommend both the song and the album.
