1CHAPTER 4: Ben Overuses His Tear Ducts
Back at the RV, Gwen was stumped. She couldn't figure out how to get Grampa conscious again. "Can't you, like, zap him with electricity or something?" she asked Kevin.
"No. None of the aliens can shoot lightning or anything like that."
"Damn it! Ten aliens, and none of them can shoot electricity? What a waste!"
"But lightning is a plasma, and so is fire!" said Kevin, eager to please, and set the RV on fire.
"Nice one, retard! You set the RV on fire! I mean...is there anything else you can think of that would help him?"
"Hmm...well, I could use the part of me that's Upgrade, reach inside him, and pump his heart..."
"That sounds less destructive then your last idea. Go ahead and try it."
Kevin reached inside Grampa and squeezed every organ he found. After a while he found the heart and tightened his grip. Grampa's eyes popped open as he gasped.
"Grampa! Are you alright?" asked Gwen.
"I think...but it feels like someone tried to crush my lungs from the inside," Grampa wheezed.
Gwen shot Kevin a dirty look, who grinned. "Ok, now that I've helped you, you shall repay me by performing several acts of devious sexual intercourse with me!"
"Look! Panties!" said Gwen, and ran away while Kevin was looking. Gwen was running for about 10 minutes when she realized she had no where to run to. She headed back to the RV where Ben, Kevin, and Grampa were standing around and talking.
"Now," said Grampa, "what are we going to do about this burning RV?"
"Water!" yelled Ben.
"That's an okay idea, Ben, but I think we should get some water instead," suggested Kevin.
"That's a great idea Kevin!" Grampa exclaimed.
"But it was my idea.." sobbed Ben.
"Oh, Gwen, there you are. Go with Kevin and Ben to get some water from the river."
"How did you know there was a river in the forest?" asked Gwen suspiciously.
"Uh, um, that's not important. Now go!" Grampa ushered the kids into the forest. Gwen followed Kevin and Ben through the forest. They didn't seem to be getting anywhere so Gwen decided to say something.
"Guys, do you even know where this river is?"
"Sure it's...over there."
"Where's over– wait a second. Kevin, are you..are you wearing my panties?" Kevin blushed and nodded. "Oh, god."
"Hey guys! Over here, I found it!" Ben called. Gwen expected to see a rushing river, but all she saw was a little muddy stream.
"This is the river?"
"Yup!" Ben started filling up the buckets with muddy water, which was actually just watery mud.
"Well, I guess this will work too."
Suddenly and out of nowhere, Vilgax's spaceship landed in the forest, crushing the trees under it. The doorway opened and a stairway extended onto the ground. Vilgax descended from it.
