44. New Year
Hermione wakes up on the first day of a new year, the most hopeful day of all, and wants to give up.
After years and years of judgments, of crimes and battles, of anger and hurt; she wishes for everything to be over.
They just keep accumulating defeats. Ron is gone, Harry's wand is broken, she can't figure out what the next Horcrux is, they can't destroy the locket, her body aches all over and she's constantly cold despite charming her blanket.
She doesn't want to fight anymore.
And as she throws a glance in Harry's direction on the other side of the tent, she guesses that he is feeling the same way. They haven't spoken a word all day. Nothing. They both appear to have come to a silent agreement that today should be spent in self-pity and wallowing.
She realises they both need Ron back.
She somehow ends up daydreaming about kissing him at midnight on New Year's Eve. She wonders how his lips taste like, and if he would kiss her back.
Her thoughts dangerously spiral down and all she thinks about is Ron. She misses him so much, and she is so mad.
She pulls her blanket over her head and doesn't try to fight back the tears rolling down her face. She doesn't care if Harry notices.
She's miserable. It's the longest time they've been apart (or without hearing back from him) since she's known him.
Nothing can possibly hurt as much as this does.
