mientosz : Thank you , I hope this one is good too :D
waterproof88 : I started writing last chapter since two weeks ago , even before I started to write chapter 4 . It was hard for me to wrote it as I wanted it to be perfectly heartbreaking . Glad that you felt for that chapter .
Nat : It will be a slow progress as Arizona is still recovering and she have to double up her effort to let go of the many feelings that were bottled in inside her chest . She couldn't just fall in love with Callie after what happened . It will take time . But it will be worth it in the end , I promised . Trust me , I am getting impatient too to write about them saying 'I love you' to each other . I will try to update as frequent as I could in order to make that happen fast . Hang in there : )
bluesky25 : Thanksss and yes , Callie really care about her : )
AZsgirl : Last chapter was hard to write it down . I am glad the outcome is what I've been trying to achieved . Callie is trying but Arizona was one hell of a complicated human . Hard to read her mind .
Helena : Maybe Callie would try but would Arizona let her in ?
Author's Note : This is crazy . It"s almost 5 am in the morning and I am still awake thinking about someone … Hmm , I couldn't sleep so I tried continue my unfinished chapter 6 . And wow , suddenly it finished and ready to be published . My headache of uncertainty seems to be a muse to myself to give you all a new update .
Two update in one week ? I am enjoyed writing for you all , I guess : ) Don't forget to leave a review . And goodnight ! I want to try to get some sleep …
P/S : More flashback coming in soon and I want to reassure to those who read that this is a Calzona fanfic . But there will be flashback about Joanne too as Arizona is a woman with a lot of memories in this story , haha ! Hang there . #Calzona
I was wondering if you had the time
You could sit with me for a while
I am lifeless and drifting
And sometimes I need someone to save me from myself
I have lots of things to tell you
But if you stay , I would like to just sit
With you for a while
Robbins's House
0843hrs
Callie didn't know when and how did she fell asleep last night but when she opened her eyes , she found herself half sitting and half lying on the window seat .
She must had fallen asleep while monitoring Arizona last night . Callie was worried if Arizona would suddenly woke up in the middle of the night . And she tried to stay awake so that if Arizona woke up , she could put her back to sleep again . She remembered the last time she took a glance at the clock on the blue wall , it was only six something .
Callie rubbed her head with her palm . She felt like her head was spinning around and then stopped before it was tossed on the floor and someone just stepped on it . She knew she should go back to sleep , heck , she would do it if she was in her own place , but it wasn't appropriate if she did it here . What would Barbara think about her ? It was almost nine in the morning . She should be in the kitchen and maybe helped Barbara prepared the breakfast .
Callie carefully got up and stretched her body . She took a quick look on herself using the full length mirror . I look like shit . She gathered her hair and pulled it into the ponytail as she made her way to Arizona's bed .
Her nose was quickly filled with the smell of alcohol . Geez , how many glasses she had last night ? Callie sat at the end of the bed as she watched Arizona's chest going up and and down in a smooth rhythm . She looks peaceful and less angry when she's asleep .
Her brain went back to what happened last night . Arizona was really drunk when Tim came home with her . He had to carry Arizona from his truck into their bedroom . Before Tim left the room , he made Callie promised that she would not tell his parents about this . He said they wouldn't be pleased if they knew about this , especially if The Colonel knew .
Callie's brain was brought back when Arizona suddenly stirred . Blue eyes was now smiling in her sleep . Callie raised her eyebrows weirdly . She could sense that Arizona would wake up in any minute with a very painful headache . She slowly jumped out of the bed , deciding to peek into the kitchen . Maybe the blonde would appreciated it if she brought a breakfast for her to eat in her bed .
Barbara just got inside after taking the mails from the mailbox outside her house . She entered the kitchen and saw the Latina was looking for something from the fridge .
"Good morning , Callie ."
Callie startled . She quickly got up from her kneeling position and her head hit the door of the fridge .
"I'm sorry , I didn't mean to surprised you ." Barbara said as she helped Callie . "You look like you did not get enough sleep , are you okay honey ?
Callie just nodded her head casually to that question . "I… I was just looking for orange juice .. For Arizona ." Callie stuttered . She didn't want Barbara to think that she was robbing out something in the fridge .
"Let me help you ." In five seconds Barbara found it and handed it to the Latina . "She is still mad at me , am I correct ?"
Callie knew Barbara was talking about Arizona .
"That is one of a few things about her that never changes since she was seven years old . If she's mad at me or Daniel , she would lock herself in the room . She wouldn't come out unless she's hungry or wants to take a bath ." Barbara smiled , but it was a sad smile . "And it would go for three or four days ."
"She's always like that whenever she doesn't get it her way . Don't take it to your heart ." That was the only thing Callie could replied . But it was true . She remembered that time when she sent a wrong order to Arizona . She was enraged . Or when she almost said no to the blonde's proposition . She got upset that time .
"Two months with her and you already get used to it , I am shocked ." Barbara laughed . "I made pancakes and eggs . You should bring it upstairs too . Take extra for you too , Callie ."
Callie cursed herself inside her head . She knew that she shouldn't fell asleep at the first place . Now she missed the opportunity to help Barbara prepared the breakfast . She knew that she should showed some good future daughter in law skill in front of Barbara . Even though it would be just a fake one . Her act should be more convincing .
"Thank you , Missus Ro… I mean Barbara ." Callie nervously replied as she put it inside the plate that was ready on the tray along with the orange juice and a glass of plain water . "Do you have any advil ?"
"It is in the second drawer from the top ." Barbara pointed her finger as Callie's eyes quickly followed the direction . "Seriously , are you okay ?"
"Just having a little headache ." Callie had no other choice but lied. "Found it , thank you ."
Barbara suddenly grabbed Callie's wrist . "She's not there and I am just worried . I did everything for her because I am afraid that I will lose her forever . She's my only daughter . I don't want to lose her ."
Barbara was still assuming that Arizona had told Callie about Joanne which Callie had not know that the blonde was married until last night . "Did she talk about her to you ?" Barbara added . "Because with us , nothing , none . She never talked to us about her ."
"She talked about it once but not much ." Callie lied .
"We tried to talk to her . We tried to reach her . But she … she's isn't there . And I miss her , the old her , more and more everyday ." Barbara sighed . "I want to be there for her . But I don't know what she needs or what she wants . Because she's …"
"Constantly angry ." Callie continued the last two words . She got it , she understood . That was the reason why the blonde always moody .
"I know that she blamed herself for what happened but it wasn't her fault . And I want her to be better again . To be back of being the person she used to be ." Barbara spoke . "And somehow she opens up to you ."
"Knowing her history , I am also surprised that she opens up to me ."
"Callie , please . I don't know if this is a lot for me to ask from you .. Please be patient with her . I know that she is recovering with you . And I know my daughter but I don't know with you , how . But with other people , sometimes she could be so cold . So please , don't give up on her ." Barbara started to sob . "It's not her fault at all . She needs to understand that ."
"I am sure she will , one day ." Callie was getting uncomfortable . She couldn't promise that she would stay with her daughter forever . That was all up to Arizona . They were only faking a relationship in front of the family . But seeing Arizona so messed up like this , she wanted to help anywhere and anything she could . Arizona needed someone now . To shake her up from all the guilty that she felt . And she would like to be that person , if Arizona allowed her .
Another part of herself , she was really falling for the damaged blonde . She liked her and she cared about her . Arizona was more than the damages inside her body . The damages had ruin her from the outside , pushing many people away . But Callie wasn't one of that people . She knew that there must be something more under the cold hearted mask that Arizona put on .
"Thank you , Callie ."
"You are welcome . I wonder where is Tim and The Colonel ?"
"Oh , come on . Please just call him Daniel in front of me . They went fishing together . Just left in about thirty minutes ago ."
Callie struggled to open the door of Arizona's bedroom while her hand carrying the tray . Once she successfully twisted the door knob , she pushed the wooden door using her shoulder .
Arizona on the other side was wearing nothing but a boys short as she threw her jeans that she took off earlier on the window seat . She was having a hard time looking for a clean shirt in her closet as her head was still trying hard to dealt with the painful headache .
"Holy crap ." Callie mumbled under her breath when she saw the almost naked Arizona . She couldn't unseen what she just seen . Even if she could , she didn't want to . Arizona muscular stomach and her morning boobs , stood up in proud . Torres , that is kind of pervy ! Stop now !
"What the fuck ?!" She knew she should had find a shirt before taking it off . Arizona turned around , facing the work desk as she sat at the other side of her bed . "You should leave my room for five minutes ."
"Okay , I am sorry ." Callie couldn't help it but stared on Arizona's naked lower back .
"Oh shit , wait , wait . I need you to find me something that … that .. I could wear ."
Boy , Arizona did curse a lot in the morning , Callie thought . She put down the tray on the nightstand . "Okay ." She pulled a plain white t shirt from the closet as she walked toward Arizona .
"No , don't come near me ! Just put it on the bed . And then you can get out ." Arizona's voice was monotone . She wasn't mad or angry but the words that she chose to use could be very offensive to Callie .
Callie quickly left the room to gave the blonde some privacy . After five minutes , Arizona opened the door . Her hair was in a messy bun . With no emotion as always , she looked at Callie with her signature intense eyes . "Whatever you have just seen , unseen it !"
"Okay ." Callie winked . "You have a great stomach , by the way ."
Arizona narrowed her eyes . She wanted to say something sarcastic as usual but decided to went against it as she had to excuse herself to go to the bathroom . Or else , she would pee in the hallway .
Callie laughed happily , realizing she just won the first battle of Sarcastic and Arguing Competition for today . That is one for Torres . And zero for Robbins .
When Arizona returned back to the room , Callie just finished setting up the breakfast on the bed . "Good morning , breakfast ready !"
Arizona winced right after she heard Callie's cheerful voice . "Too loud . I am just freaking woke up , Calliope ."
Callie ignored it as she knew Arizona was always in her shitty mood . She handed the blonde a bottle of advil and a glass of water . "We were so worried about you last night . Tim practically freaked out . Where did you go ? What happened ?"
"Tim freaked out ? He was the one that brought me home ?" Last night was all blurred to Arizona .
Callie noticed that her last two questions wasn't answered by blue eyes . She decided not to push it , not wanting to made the blonde pissed . "Yes . And please , don't do that crap again . I was worried ."
"Thanks , but I am grown up woman . You don't have to worry about me ." Arizona ended the topic . She took a bite of the pancake .
Yeah , Robbins . You are a grown up woman that is now having a breakfast in your bedroom because you are sulking with your mother . So grown up . Callie rolled her eyes .
"Did you just rolled your eyes at me ?" Arizona was staring at the brunette .
After having her lunch , also in her bedroom , Arizona had spent almost an hour in front of the pond inside of her mother's garden . While Callie was sitting beside her . Earlier , blue eyes invited her to hang out in the garden . Arizona knew that since Callie had just arrived yesterday , she was very excited with the pond and garden .
But now both women found themselves lost with the beauty of the garden that Barbara had managed to kept it clean . Callie was staring at the big tree in front of her as she was wondering what was hiding behind the tree . More woods ?
Meanwhile Arizona was staring deep right into the pond that was filled with eleven Japanese Koi . She looked at the reflection of her face in the water before she found herself lost again in one of her many memories .
"Isshh ishhh !" Aiden said excitedly as he slowly dipped his index finger into the pond . "Mommy ! Ishhh , ishhh !"
"Yes , it's a fish . Clever , boy !" Arizona was kneeling behind the toddler . In another six months , Aiden would turn four years olds . She still couldn't believe how quick the time had passed . It felt like yesterday when she held Aiden for the first time in her life . Her tears dropped hearing him cried for the first time . Tears of happiness . Part of herself was happy because in that moment , she knew she was a mother now . And another part of her was relieved knowing that her wife's pain would subsided as soon as Joanne heard the first cry .
Aiden was splashing the water , scaring away the only fish in the pond . "Furrrrenn .."
Joanne looked at her wife , arching her eyebrows . "Fur.. end ?"
Arizona shrugged , didn't understand either . What is Aiden trying to say ?
"Nooooe , furren ?" Aiden had a questioning voice while he shook his head a few times .
"Oh , I think he is asking why the fish doesnt have any friend ." Arizona laughed . "All alone in the water ."
"Furrenn ?" The toddler pointed his finger at the lonely fish inside the pond .
"Grandpa will get him or … her a friend . We will go to the fish shop together tomorrow okay , Lil Soldier ?" The Colonel lifted his only grandkid before giving him a kiss into his hair . The dark brown haired boy nodded his head in excitment .
"Luckily he didn't ask you both when he's going to get another sibling ." Barbara suddenly spoke .
"Mom !" Arizona eyes went wide with her mother's straight to the point suggestion . While Joanne was clearly blushing .
It was a very happy unforgettable moment when Aiden was born but to add another family member into their family ? Arizona didn't think that she and Joanne were ready . After all , little did her family knew that they had been on a rough patch lately with Arizona was still trying to readjusting her life schedule as a mother , wife and a newly appointed pediatric attending . She had to work until late in the middle of the night and be ready early in the morning just to wooo the Head of Peds .
And Joanne on the other hand always had a smooth working schedule as a CEO of her late father's company . And she had started not to like Arizona's crazy schedule . Sometimes , she hadn't seen her wife for three days . When she got back from work , her wife got called into a surgery and when she went to work , her wife just got home .
So , if they wanted to have another baby … They must waited at least until Aiden was bigger or at least when he already got into the kindergarten .
"Arizona !"
Suddenly , Arizona felt the emptiness filled into her heart again as she was brought back to the reality . Callie was looking at her with a worried face . That was one of many things she hated when people found out about her past . Whenever she got lost into a very deep thought , people around her would started to freak out and be worry about her . Not every thought that frequently visited her were the bad one . Some of them were the nice one .
"Are you okay ?" Callie asked once again .
Arizona sighed deeply . "I am okay , Calliope ."
"I am sorry ." Callie felt like she was disturbing the blonde . But she couldn't deny it , that she loved the way Arizona called her full name . She wasn't proud with her full first name . To other people , it was too weird but with Arizona ? The way the blonde said her name felt just right . Felt like it really fit in . Callie just sat there for another few minutes , saying nothing .
Arizona was still staring at the fishes inside the pond . "It started with only one fish ."
Callie could feel that the blonde was trying to opened up to her but at the same still being the cautious person she was .
Arizona stood up , leaving the pond as she made her way to the small open hut . "And then , Aiden wanted a friend for Ishey . So , his Grandpa bought another Koi ."
"Ishey huh ?" Callie smiled . So Arizona was thinking about her son just now in front of the pond .
"He called it that way . The pale color one in the pond , that is Ishey ." Arizona shook her head , chuckling . "After that , he wanted Ishey to have a parents , kids , siblings . All of it . And then there were twelve Kois inside the pond ."
"Twelve ?" Callie asked . She counted all the Kois inside the pond . There were only eleven . Or maybe she counted it wrong ?
"One of it died ."Arizona suddenly stopped speaking . Died ? Her wife and son died . Just like the fish died . Everything in Arizona's life died on her .
Callie saw the sudden change in Arizona's face . It was a sorrow . "But Ishey still got her friends and family , people around him .. errr slash her that love Ishey more than Ishey would know ." She carefully chose her words .
"Aiden mentioned it once that Ishey got a girlfriend . It was one of the Kois inside the pond ."
"So , Ishey is male Koi now ?" Callie was getting confused by now .
"To Aiden , yes Ishey is a male Koi . But seriously , I don't even know !" Arizona laughed .
Callie was laughing too by now . Once the laugh stopped , Arizona turned to face Callie . Her forehead was crinkling .
"What if the one that died was Ishey's girlfriend ?" Arizona asked that question out of the blue . "What if it was his soul mate ?"
"Well , it would be a sad situation for Ishey . But he's alive , there must be a reason that he's still alive . Maybe you should buy another gorgeously hot Koi for him , so that he could have another girlfriend ."
"He doesn't want another girlfriend . He just want to be left alone ." Arizona talked .
Callie knew that the blonde was talking about herself . She hated to see Arizona sad like this . She didn't say anything but grabbed Arizona's hand .
Arizona stared deep into the dark brown eyes as she felt her hand was squeezed gently by the Latina sitting next to her . She didn't gave her a sympathetic eyes now but she was giving her a supportive eyes . Something that someone else in Arizona's life failed to give to her .
Callie smiled lightly . "Don't ever feel that you are all alone , Arizona . If you feel like it is all too much for you to feel it alone , you can share it with me ." With that , her gaze lost into the sparkling blue eyes . For the first time since they first met , Callie couldn't see any of the anger flame that would always be somewhere in the corner of Arizona's eyes . It disappeared and was replaced by an innocent eyes full of despair and sorrow . Melancholy .
The brunette slowly leaned into Arizona as their lips pressed together . She locked her hands around the blonde's neck as she gently kissed her . It wasn't a kiss full of lust but it was the pure one . Arizona froze in her current position , she didn't know what she should do . It had been a long time since someone kissed her like that . A kiss that wasn't because of the hunger of sex . But a sweet lovely kiss that could stopped the time . Maybe she should broke the out of sudden kiss . Maybe she shouldn't .
Callie was the one that broke the kiss as she awkwardly pulled her hand away from Arizona's hair . Arizona was staring at the Latina next to her . It was all weird that this woman who was kissing her just now could give her all these feelings. Some of it were the feelings she used to felt . A confusion . A pure love . The impulsiveness that made her felt so out of control . And the feeling that she loathed the most in her life , the uncertainty feeling . Calliope Torres was giving Arizona a headache and something new to think about in her life . Something new that so would not be in order and after what she had gone through , she hated new things and all the readjustment .
"Why ?" Her voice was husky but she managed to slipped out a word from her mouth . She was in confusion .
"Your mother is watching us over there ." Callie pointed using her eyes . "Gotta make the girlfriends acting look perfect ."
Callie felt like slapping her own face when she uttered those words . No , of course it was not because of the acting . She just felt like she had to kiss Arizona . She only used Barbara's name as a cover . And damn , Arizona had a very freaking smooth lips .
Arizona's eyes followed the direction as she saw her mother standing at the door frame . She nodded in agreement . All the uncertainty inside her chest quickly disappeared .
I didn't see any reviews from 'Guess' in the last chapter , that was kind of weird . Last chapter wasn't a bad chapter , right ? Readers , keep your reviews coming in and tell me what do you think . I appreciate all of it . Thanks , and have a great weekend ! (I'm working like crazy on weekend hahahaaha)
Friday
23rd December 2016
0453hrs
