J.M.J.

Author's note: Thank you for continuing to read! Thank you especially to MargaretA66, ErinJordan, max2013, Candylou, and angelicalkiss for your reviews on the previous chapter! Thank you to caseykam also, once again, for your PMs and for sharing your ideas for how I might end this story! I really appreciate all of you. I hope you enjoy this chapter. God bless!

Chapter XIII

Callie sighed as she settled into the passenger seat of her and Frank's car. She glanced through the window at her father-in-law's office as Frank pulled the car away from the curb.

"Is something the matter?" Frank asked her. He immediately added, "That's a stupid question."

Ordinarily, the comment would have made Callie laugh, but she didn't feel much like laughing right now. "Thank you for asking to stay here in Bayport," she said. "I know you want to go and that Chief Collig would let you if you asked him."

"He would have, but work isn't the only responsibility I have here. You're my first priority and I don't want you to be alone overnight any more than you want to be alone overnight. Not with everything that's going on."

Callie bit her lip. "And just look what happened because of it. Do you think Joe is going to be all right?"

Frank reached over to give her hand a quick squeeze before returning his own hand to the steering wheel. "Sam's going to be with him and they're just going to go and talk to some people we already know a little. Nothing could go wrong. It might be the best thing for him. It could be a reminder that detective work isn't always life or death."

Callie looked at him hard. "Frank, why do you do that? You talk like you wish Joe would stay as far away from mysteries as possible, and then later you talk like you wish he'd go back to solving them."

"I guess I do," Frank admitted. "Maybe it's because I don't know exactly what I want myself. No, that's not quite true. I do know what I want. I want it to be the way it used to be, where Joe and I were a team and we always had each other's backs and we tackled mysteries with the certainty that we'd get to the bottom of it all. But I don't know if that's possible or that it's what's best for Joe. And I want that, too: something real, that's not just a daydream, and at the same time, whatever is best for Joe. It's that last one that makes me switch back and forth, I think. Sometimes I think it would be better for him to give detective work up altogether and sometimes I think it would be best if he just gave it another chance. I honestly don't know which it is. All I know is that this sort of in-between stage, where no decisions get made and nobody knows what to do, isn't good for anybody, least of all Joe."

Callie nodded in agreement. "I don't have any answers, either. I just have a feeling about him going to Philadelphia. Maybe it's silly."

"Some kind of intuition?"

"I don't know what it is," Callie admitted. "I just…Maybe you should talk to Joe before he leaves."

"I'm not going to try to talk him out of going."

"I didn't mean that. Maybe you could come to some kind of understanding is all I'm saying."

Frank considered that. It wasn't a bad idea. He didn't share Callie's concerns…not about this particular sleuthing mission and not on Joe's account, anyway. Joe would be going away from danger, not farther into it. On the other hand, without Joe and Sam around, Black Rose might decide that it was a good time to strike.

But that was just paranoia creeping in. Black Rose was after the Pritos, not the Hardys, and they would be hard for Black Rose to get to just now. Nothing was going to happen.

"I think he just needs some space right now," Frank said finally. "It's going to be all right."

HBHBHBHBHB

Joe had had a similar thought, that it might be a good idea to talk with Frank one more time, but he had decided against it for some of the same reasons and a few of his own. So instead, he went to bed early and tried to sleep. Vague dreams that weren't particularly frightening, although they were dreary and foreboding, troubled his sleep, especially after the time when he would have normally gotten up to go to work. He was relieved when morning came.

He and Sam had decided to leave first thing. Joe had hoped to get out of the house without anyone making a fuss, but his parents and Aunt Gertrude were all awake by that time, and his mom and aunt insisted on making breakfast for them all. From the way they dragged the good-byes out, Joe could tell they were worried, which did little to improve his mood. He tried to hide that part of it.

He breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally in the car and had closed the door. Almost immediately, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked with a sidewise glance at him.

Joe opened his eyes and shifted his position to help keep himself awake. "Yeah. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, is all."

"Something happen?"

Joe shrugged. "It's just one of those things. I've got a lot on my mind." He took a drink of the coffee that he had brought in a thermos.

"I guess so," Sam agreed. "I'll admit, I was awake longer than I should have been last night, planning what to say to the Berettas."

"I'm glad somebody was thinking of that," Joe muttered.

"So, what happened with your job?" Sam asked after a brief silence.

Joe ran a hand through his hair. "Black Rose, probably. My supervisor fired me officially because I didn't show up to work the day before yesterday, even though I texted him that I had an emergency to deal with. Unofficially, because my name's Hardy. I don't know for sure, but I suspect Black Rose had something to do with it.."

"I wonder why they wouldn't want you to have a job at all now." Sam frowned thoughtfully as he checked his rearview mirror. There was no sign of anyone following them.

Joe shrugged again. "I don't know. It might backfire on them. With no job, I'm being forced back into detective work out of sheer boredom, and since there's no one else I can investigate besides Black Rose, we might finally get them all cleaned up." He chuckled dryly. "On the other hand, that might be exactly what they want. Me investigating them, that is."

"Only if they're getting tired of their little organization," Sam replied. He glanced again at Joe."Are you sure you want to get back into this?"

"I don't know," Joe admitted. "I've missed it, but also…what everyone's saying about me isn't wrong."

"Isn't it?"

"You know it and I know it," Joe insisted. "There's no use denying it. I had two chances to directly save Tony, and I blew them both, and I probably made a mess out of the official investigation by being so uncooperative." Joe closed his eyes. "You know, sometimes I wish it would have been me instead of him."

Sam didn't flinch at the admission. It would have been shocking a few years ago, but it wasn't even surprising now. "Well, it wasn't you, and there's a reason for it, even if you can't see it right now. Besides, if you or Frank or anyone else had gotten killed rescuing him, Tony would be blaming himself just as much as you're blaming yourself."

"Except he wouldn't actually have anything to feel guilty about."

"I'm sure if he could, he'd tell you not to wallow in guilt and self-pity, either," Sam pointed out.

Joe stubbornly stared out the window. "I know that. I just wish there was some way I could believe it."

Sam drove for a while longer, mulling over what Joe had said. By this time, they were out of town and on the highway. Before long, they would reach the interstate.

"So why were you the first one to volunteer for this?" Sam asked finally.

"Isn't it obvious?" Joe countered. "I want to be involved and help with the case. There's no point trying to hide that any longer. But I know I can't stay in it. It's only a matter of time before I get into a situation that I can't handle."

"I don't know about that," Sam replied.

Joe sighed. "Please, don't be patronizing and tell me I can handle anything. I know…You know about my hang-up. There's no point going over it again."

"You know," Sam said after a moment's thought, "I've been a private detective since I was your age. I've never shot anyone. I don't know what I'd do if I was in that kind of situation. I'm still hoping I'll never have to find out."

"You wouldn't freeze and let one of your best friends get murdered."

"You didn't freeze, from what I heard. It sounded to me like you were trying to find a less violent way to get control of the situation. Whether or not that was the best choice is a little hard to say, but it's not freezing."

Joe turned to look out the window again and didn't say anything. Finally, he said, "I'm still to blame, at every level and any way you slice. Tony never would have wound up in that situation if Frank and I hadn't spent all our high school years playing junior detective."

Sam raised a skeptical eyebrow. "How would have that prevented it?"

Joe scoffed. "Are you serious right now? How do you think Tony would have wound up in a spot like that if it hadn't been for us?"

"I can't say for sure it would have happened either way, but it might have been even worse if you hadn't been detectives."

"You really are kidding me, aren't you?"

"No. Think about it logically. You and Frank were toddlers when Black Rose entered the scene. It's a little hard to blame you for anything that happened then. And you can't blame your dad because he was a police officer and he was doing his job. Then when Black Rose surfaced again, they didn't come after you or your family. They came after Tony's sister. As far as we can tell, that wasn't any kind of attempt to get at you. If we're to believe Rudger's confession, they wanted her, specifically and personally, for some reason. So all that would have happened without you ever going near a mystery. But Lisa can be glad you did work on mysteries back then. If no one had done anything, she almost certainly would have gotten sucked into Black Rose more deeply and there would have only been three options then. One, she would have been thoroughly corrupted and done all kinds of harm helping Black Rose and probably either killed or assisted in killing innocent people, including her own family, because there's no way the Pritos wouldn't have gone looking for her. The second option is basically the same thing, but she would have gotten killed or she would have killed herself to avoid getting caught, like so many other Black Rose operatives. Or three, she would have come to her senses and tried to leave, but she wouldn't have been able to, because she would have been in too deep and wouldn't have had anyone to help her. So your only options, whether you were a detective or not, were to sit around and let one of those things happen or try to stop it. So yes, things likely would have been worse if you hadn't 'played junior detective' back in high school."

Joe had been staring at his hands in his lap during the entire monologue. Several of the points Sam had been making had never occurred to him and he didn't want to concede to any of them until he had had a chance to think them over. "I still should have stayed out of the case with Tony. If I had, the police might have found him before Angelo killed him."

"I doubt that," Sam said. "Angelo killed him when you got too close. He would have done the same thing if it was the police. The only difference might have been that they might have caught him afterward."

"We don't know that," Joe protested.

"You're right. There's a lot we don't know and never will know. Look, Joe, let's get a couple of things straight. If you don't want to do detective work, that's fine. Not everyone needs to and not everyone can or should. But somebody has to. I know that if there ever comes a day that I'm going to have to kill someone in self-defense or to protect someone else, I'm going to have just as hard a time living with it as you would. But here's the thing. If there's someone willing to kill innocent people, and I'm not willing or able to stop him, then either someone else is going to have to stop him or innocent people are going to get killed. Now, hopefully, there would be someone else who could stop him, but even there was, why should I get to sit around on my hands and do nothing while someone else does what I'm not willing to do myself? It's not going to be any easier for them, and if it is, they're probably the last person you want to be entrusted with protecting people. No decent person wants to kill anyone, ever, for any reason. No decent person would ever find it easy if they had to do it."

Sam took in a breath before continuing, "That being said, you did volunteer to help with this. Until we're back in Bayport, I don't want to hear any more about your supposed failures. We're going to focus on the task in front of us and that's all. Okay?"

"Okay."

HBHBHBHBHB

The rest of the drive to Philadelphia had been mostly silent. Joe had done a great deal of thinking about what Sam had said and had still managed to doze off and get some sleep. They made as few stops as possible on the way and they reached the hospital where Mario Beretta was a little under six hours after they left Bayport.

They found the waiting area for the ICU without difficulty. It was deserted except for a young woman who was no more than a year or two older than Joe and a middle-aged man. They were sitting at a table and they looked up when they heard the detectives approaching. Sam and Joe recognized them immediately. They were Belle and John Beretta.

"I don't exactly understand why you had to come so far out of your way," Belle admitted after the greetings were out of the way. "We've told you everything that the police have told us, which isn't very much."

"I think—I can't be sure—but I think that the reason the police haven't told us much is because they know we'll pass it on to you," John added.

"That's likely enough to be true," Sam replied grimly. "There might be a few things that you can help us with anyway. First things first, though: how is Mario?"

Belle sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "Not good. He's still in a coma. The doctors are saying that if he wakes up at all, he might have brain damage."

"I'm sorry," Sam said. "I can only imagine how hard this is for you."

"I hope you don't find out," Belle replied. "You shouldn't have come, you know. Evangeline was obviously here in town, and you're also on her hit list, Mr. Radley."

"In which case, she's probably headed to Bayport," Sam pointed out. "There wouldn't be much point in her staying here in Philadelphia."

"Unless she's waiting for a chance to finish the job," Belle said darkly.

John cleared his throat. "There's not much point in speculating about that. Why don't we all sit down and talk?"

"Have you been here in Philadelphia the whole time?" Joe asked, as they each took a seat at the table.

"That's right," John replied. "We don't want to leave until we know he's all right."

"But who knows how long that will be?" Belle put in. "It's terrible, but I just wish it was over."

"That's not terrible at all," Sam assured her. "That's perfectly natural."

"But what if it doesn't turn out well? The terrible thing is that I wish it was over, even if Mario…dies." Belle wrinkled her face as she tried to keep from crying, but it looked like a losing battle.

"I don't think even that's so terrible," Sam said gently. "It would be over for him, too, you know. But he might survive. You've got to hold onto that."

Belle shook her head. "I almost think it would be easier to just let him go and assume he's not going to live. That way, if he doesn't, I'll be more prepared, and it won't make me any less happy if he does."

"Maybe," Sam conceded, "but I'd try to hold onto hope, anyway. It's a powerful thing." He paused, trying to decide if it was the right time to ask any questions. "There's one thing I've been wondering. The police are working on this, of course. Why did you call us for help?"

"You're friends," Belle replied. "I know you care what happens to us. And I don't care what everyone says about you. If you have to have a one hundred percent success rate to be considered a competent detective, I doubt the police working on the case would qualify."

Joe stared at the table while Sam went on asking the ordinary sort of questions for a situation like this: whether there was anyone else besides Evangeline who might harm Mario, whether anything he had said or done recently could shed any light on the case. None of the answers were particularly helpful.

"We'd also like to look at Mario's apartment, if that's possible," Sam said. "It's doubtful that the police would have missed anything important, but we want to make sure."

"I think we can do that," John said. "The police told us that they had finished their crime scene investigation, so we're clear to go into the apartment."

"I don't think I want to, thought," Belle added with a shudder.

"That's all right," Sam told her. "If you have a key, Joe and I can go there ourselves."