Author's Note : Responding to the guests reviews , yes , a jealous Arizona would be fun . I will try to put that when it suits the storyline . And also Turtle , you and your polite constructive criticism , thank you , appreciate that . Will try to improve in the future . And to the new readers , welcome to the journey .
I don't speak English really well , so yeah :D I am still trying here , someone even asks me to find a person to proofread it but I am not really comfortable with it . I'm used to moving alone . And as you can see in this one , I am trying hard to write a happy scene in this chapter . (I think my writing strength is to write the sad parts because of my real past experiences that oftenly reflects on my writing .. So my happy parts seems to be a little off .. I don' know . It seems like off to me . But it's up to you guys to judge them . I tried my best already !) But still , let's have a few more chapters with happy times in it because I already have conflict planning in inside of my head .
Until then , Chapter 18 . Enjoy !
When I am with you
I am not that broken person anymore
I am just me
General POV
It was 7.30pm when Arizona found herself lost in the enormous flower shop . She stopped in front of bunch of purple tulips . No , not tulips . Arizona continued her strolling session around the shop but her eyes only met with more tulips from various colors .
"May I help you , Miss ?" A small voice from behind asked .
It was the florist . Arizona let out a breath of relief . "I am looking for flowers ."
"There's a lot flowers in here ." The petite brunette stated as she continued with the humor . "It's a flower shop after all ."
But Arizona was only staring at her by now . She wasn't in the mood of joking around . She had a reservation at a nice restaurant at 8.30 , meaning she should picked Callie up at 8 . And right now she was in a flower shop as she stucked with herself , trying to choose some nice flowers for Calliope . It gotta be roses right ? But tulips are pretty too . But .. but roses are more romantic . Holy fuck , am I trying to put myself in a romantic mood tonight with Callie ? Could I ? Be romantic ? After years of having no romantic relationship ?
"Right .. Any specific flowers you like …?" Surprisingly , the brunette still treated her with patience even after she got the empty stare from Arizona just now . Maybe she was only doing her job or maybe she was used to this . This kind of customer .
Knowing that she was being a jerk toward the girl in front of her because she was actually nervous with her date as she had a feeling that she would screw this one up , Arizona quickly apologized . "I'm sorry , I am just .. nervous ." Arizona rubbed her head , she never admitted to anyone that she's nervous when she was nervous .
"It's okay . First date ?" The petite girl smiled . "I'm Cecelia , by the way ."
"Arizona ." She managed to give a smile . "I am looking for roses . Not really a first date . Been watching movies and sleeping at her place three or four times , I don't know if that counted as dates or .. no . But this is going to be the first time for us to go out in the public as a couple …?" Were they a couple now ? Arizona rubbed her head .
"This way . First time in the public … and you said 'she' . Did you or .. she just came out of the closet ?"
"No , no . It's not like that at all ." Arizona followed Cecelia to the next aisle . Soon after that , her eyes were greeted by a lot of roses . From orange , pink , yellow , purple , white and the last one , a romantic alluring red .
And then Arizona realized that she had one more problem . The color of the roses . The red was on top of her choice but the purple and the white one seemed lovely too .
"So , let's pick a color ." Cecelia extended her hand forward in excitement .
Meanwhile Arizona just stood there , froze . Callie did say that she loves red roses right ? She thought it is sweet back then in New York . So , red is the perfect choice … right ? White is soft , as soft as her heart that Callie has changed in the past few month that they spent together . But white also reminds her of Joanne . Joanne loved white roses and she only accepted nothing other than the whites , Arizona's forehead wrinkled .
Cecelia seemed to notice the confusion plastered on the blonde's face as she slowly suggested . "If it's for your lover , I would narrow it down to the white , the purple and the bold red ."
"And why is that ?" Arizona raised her eyebrows .
"White is the symbol for purity and innocence of young love .. The purple or lilac means passion , desire ." Emily explained , her voice was full of passion . "And the red one .. often people says it's boring , too common but nobody is bolder than the person that decides to give her or his partner red roses . Because red means bold . It is also a symbol for true love , the passion of love . It's the lover's roses . Cliche but a perfection . It's romantic ."
"Wow , I never thought I would learn a lot about roses today ." Arizona was amused . "My gut told me to choose red , I think I will go with a red . Indeed ."
"So , one dozen ? Two dozens ?"
"About that .. Can I ask you something ? Does it matter of how many roses you should send ? Because I usually just ordered it online or just pointing my finger here and there ."
"Wow , you are totally suck . I will help you with that . A bouquet of roses means she's the most beautiful creature in this world . And a perfect dozen shouts , be mine ."
"A beautiful perfect dozen of red roses then ." Arizona replied . Easy .
"But a 21 red roses also symbolize that you are in a very serious dedicated relationship with her ."
Arizona was torn . That was what she wanted to prove to Callie for the last two weeks of spending her time after work with the brunette , to let her know that she really meant what she said that night in Callie's loft . She wanted to make this work and strangely she never felt like this after she lost her light , her family . She wanted this so badly . And Callie's opinion about her might ran away again .. she wanted to erase that too .
"Okay . How long have you guys been together , if I may know ?"
"That's one tough question ." Arizona responded . How long exactly they have been together , like really together ? When does it starts to count ? Does it starts right after she came back from Malawi or on the first day they met at Callie's coffee shop . Does it even matter ?
Yes . It matters , Robbins ! It matters because you both at some point would like to celebrate your monthsarry . Well , at least Callie would love to . Every chicks love that kind of little things right ? Where her partner gives her flowers on the special date . It was going to be weird for her , for sure . She left behind all the sweet gesture years ago after Joanne died and now she was trying get it back , the sweet side of her .
Callie just finished putting on her earrings when she heard the sound of footsteps coming from the stairs .
"No , wait a sec . I'm not ready yet !" Callie nervously yelled as she thought it was Arizona .
"She .. she's here and she looks .. Wow !" Lexie stopped when she saw Callie .
"Thank god , it's you ! And what's up with the wow ?" Callie couldn't analyze if it was a good wow or a bad wow . "Am I overdressed ?"
"You look pretty . I'm just glad you didn't go with the red dress . It's .."
"Overly dramatic for a first date ." Callie nodded . "So , is this one suitable with Arizona's attire ? What she's wearing exactly ?"
"Arizona is Arizona . She looks casual tonight . Boots and jeans . And ready for the date . The date , the reason you are so stressed out from the morning until now ." Lexie pointed it out loud . "Come on , this isn't your first date with her . You guys had date night at New York weeks ago . If it makes you feel better , a second date isn't going to be as bad as the first one . Don't worry ."
"It's different thing . New York wasn't really a date . I spent half of the date being mad at her . This one … tonight , is the official date ." Callie knew that it was ridiculous to smile , especially on moment like this but she couldn't held the smile back when she thought about how Arizona tricked her into going out . The note with Arizona's phone number , oh she still kept it to this very day . Of course , it didn't go well at the end of the night but still .. There was not a bit of thing she would like to change about it . Everything was perfect the way it was .
"And now you are smiling . Should I be worry about this ?" Lexie asked , more to herself .
"Do you know that a few days ago I just found out that she is actually one from the top three of the best successful business person in Seattle who is still single for now . And she's the cover for Business Insider magazine for this month ? She looked absolutely gorgeous at the front cover , by the way . But I think she should smile more because when I stared at her face , I felt like she was pissed off at me .. And I am rambling !" Callie stopped right after she noticed the face the young brunette was making .
Callie sighed . "Yes , I researched her . Girls that are studying medical in John Hopkins , they all look up to Arizona . She was the best from her batch . She became Chief of the Peds department in SGMW almost like .. right after she finished her fellowship . She's the university benefactor . And apparently business students in UW also look up to her because she changed her expertise from medical to business like she was changing clothes ! She's perfect in everyone's eyes and she's asking me out on a date .. And here I am .. Miss Nobody ."
"You are not nobody . You are .. my lady ." Just out of nowhere , Arizona's scratchy voice suddenly interrupted them . "Hi there …"
Callie's gaze followed the voice before it finally fell on Arizona . She was wearing a v neck grey blouse with a black blazer . It was simple but neat . "Hi ." It was a two letters word but it felt awkward .
"I brought you this .." Arizona held her hand forward , revealing a bouquet of beautifully fresh roses . She looked at Callie , never blinking her eyes . The brunette was very beautiful tonight with beige lace dress that stopped just above her knee . And to know that Callie looked this beautiful because of her , because of their date made Arizona feel the luckiest woman in the world .
"They are lovely .. I love it . First bouquet of flowers for me . From you ." Callie replied as the scent of the roses hit her nose . "Thank you ."
Arizona felt the burden on her shoulders were finally lifted . Just the respond that she wanted from Callie .
"And I will take those so that you both won't be late for the dinner reservation ." Lexie secretly winked at Callie as she mouthed 'you go girl !'
Both women just stood there , staring . Like it was the first time they laid eyes on each other .
"You both know that you will have plenty of time to stare at each other at the dinner table , right ?" Lexie added before she went downstairs .
Callie rolled her eyes which Arizona found it cute . She had always thought that rolled eyes Callie was cute . Even since back then when they both did nothing but fought with each other all the time .
"Are you ready ?" The strong penetrating gaze of the blue eyes never stopped their work as she asked .
"I.. I am ." Callie was the one that broke the staring session as she bent down to collect her purse .
"Relax . It's a date . Not a dental check up ." Arizona's voice was hoarse . It was almost like a whisper . She tried her best to hide away the burning anxious feeling that started to build inside of her stomach . Callie was obviously as nervous as she was so one of them must keep it together . Don't screw this up , Robbins . But Callie's sweet scent wasn't really helping and she knew that .
Arizona's leg stepped off from the gas pedal as her dark blue Audi reached the open parking lot of the harborside restaurant . Finding her reserved parking spot was easy as few of the valets cum waiters were standing there in their black vests .
Arizona turned her engine off after she was sure that her car was in the correct parking box . She turned her head toward the Latina that was sitting quietly on the next seat . "We have arrived ." Arizona stated , showing off her dimple as she squeezed Callie's cold hand .
"A restaurant on the dock ?" Callie's eyes were observing the scene in front of her . It was an old dock with a beautiful view . The lights were hanging through the giant trees by the ocean and the walls .
"Miss Robbins . Good evening ." The waiter patiently held the car door open for Arizona with a bright smile .
"Thank you ." Arizona simply replied . But when she caught the glance of the waiter heading toward the other side of the car , probably wanted to hold the another door open too , Arizona quickly stopped him . "I'll manage that . It's my job ."
"So , this is how a date with Arizona Robbins looks like ." Callie looked up . Her face was filled with a mixture of shock and nervous . "This is so .. sweet ."
"Come out from the car now , Calliope . And close your mouth ." Arizona extended her hand as she waited for Callie to take her by the hand . Arizona wasn't the kind of person that oftenly spent her time outdoor with the person that she loved . She liked to stay in , cuddling up , watching movies while eating home made dinner or just simply called a delivery for pizza . But that didn't mean that she wouldn't try hard to impress her date . So , a date with her should be close to perfect .
Callie smiled shyly but she managed to reach out for the blonde's hand to get out from the car . "You said you don't know how to do relationships and hearts ."
"Did I ?" Arizona replied almost immediately after that .
Callie stared at Arizona with amusement as they both walked forward , arms linked together . While her other hand was clutching on her cream purse . Holy crap , she's really changing …
"Your table will be ready shortly . Feel free to stops by our bar , though . I will come get you as soon as we have your table ready ." The waiter politely spoke to Arizona .
But Callie stopped walking , abruptly . Arizona turned around , eyebrows were raised in confusion . "Are you okay ?"
"I'm .. fine .. I'm just ... it's a wooden dock ." Callie said as her face was clearly worried about the durability of the wood . "I feel like I'm floating ."
"It's safe . It's an old dock built on 1949 . Even though they didn't have the technologies to check the durability of what they built back then but their quality is still the safest . No worries ." Arizona laughed before she continued . "I can jump up and down if you don't believe me ."
Callie rolled her eyes when she heard the last sentence . "I don't know how to swim in case it breaks , just so you know ."
"Come on , don't assume the worse ." Arizona said as she extended her hand while her eyes gave Callie one of her many signature stares . This time , it was the stare of a playfulness mix with a glimpse of hope .
The blonde gaze … Did I tell you already that she has always own this mysterious , powerful , deep stares ? Callie wrapped her hand around Arizona's arm as she walked beside the blonde . The way Arizona led her to the bar seemed like she know this place for years already .
"Good evening , beautiful ladies . What can I get you ?" The bald friendly bartender asked with a smile . He nodded toward the blonde's direction . "Miss Robbins ."
"Evening , Larry . What would you like to drink ?" Arizona asked the Latina as soon as they both sat comfortably on the bar stool .
"I will have a glass of red wine , please ." Callie replied .
"Lucky for you that we have a classic of Chateau de Royale tonight . Light yet a lil rough ." The bartender explained as he proudly showed the bottle toward the ladies .
"H-how .. much does it cost a glass ?" Callie carefully asked . It must be really expensive .
But before the bartender could answer , Arizona cut them both off . "Just give her anything that she wants . And I will have my usual white ."
"Your usual white , huh ?" Callie asked after she was really sure that the bartender's focus wasn't on them anymore . "You knew a lot about this place and you knew his name too . Did you bring all of your previous fake dates here ?"
Arizona's elbow was on the bar counter as her right hand supported her head . She gave Callie a long and a hard stare . Meanwhile Callie just raised her eyebrows , trying to gauge another reaction from the blue eyes . But the stare was the only thing that she received . Had she just pick up a wrong topic ? Or a wrong question ?
"Here you go ." Larry interjected in the middle of the tension between the two women as he place down both wine glasses in front of them . "A glass of red and a glass of white . Enjoy !"
"Larry , you ever saw me coming here with anyone before this ?" Arizona broke the stare and turned to the bald man .
"No . Never ." Larry simply answered before he focused his eyes on Callie . "You are a one lucky woman . We will be looking forward to see more of you after this ."
"Never ever I brought a woman here . Never . Only you , Calliope ." Arizona took a sip of her wine right after that . She felt her heart beating faster than usual . Only you . That was the closest thing to an I love you that she could give to Callie for now . And it was true . She started going to this place for its delicious seafood since two years ago . And she never brought anyone here .
Only her . Yes , only her . Without Arizona realized , Callie had become the only person that managed to make her smile again . The only person that could change the way she see the world . The one and only that successfully made her heart beat fast again . Maybe it was still too early but she felt like Callie was the center of her universe . She was her lifeline and without her she would flatline , not like she never flatlined before but if that happened to her for the second time , Arizona knew that she wouldn't survive anymore .
Callie Torres resuscitated her .
So she would take care of her and kept Callie by her side all the time . She would protect her . At all costs . She would never take anything for granted . Not anymore . She watched Callie as she was now nervously swallowing down the red wine .
"I'm sorry if I offended you with my question ." Callie apologized after the liquid went all the way down her throat .
"I am not offended at all . You used to mock me with something even harsher than this , Callie ." Arizona decided not to carry on with tension of the current situation . "You look very beautiful tonight ."
Pale hand was resting on the tanned hand as Arizona showed off her dimples on both sides . "Come with me to my place tonight ?" She would trade anything just to have another night to be spend with Callie .
"I will , if the dinner goes well ." Callie winked playfully . The couple seemed to be enjoying each other company .
"Miss Robbins , your table is ready . Would you like to go now ?" The person that greeted them earlier spoke from behind .
Arizona left her seat . "Sure . You ready ?" She raised her eyebrows to the brunette .
"Of course ." Callie stood up with a broad smile that could possibly lit up the room .
Callie looked around the place as they were escorted to their table by the waiter . The table that Arizona had specifically book for them was far away from other people , more privacy . The lighting at their table was a little bit dim than the front area . The waiter finally stopped in front of a square table with a dark red tablecloth , it was the table with an ocean view .
Arizona pulled the chair out for Callie with a smile that never left her face as she waited for the brunette to sit down . Then she moved to the empty seat in front of Callie .
"Thank you ." Callie said to the woman in front of her .
"You are welcome ."
"Here are the menus ." The waiter placed the menus on the table . He took off a lighter from his pocket before he lit up the candle that was standing up ready in front of them . "I will come back in a couple minutes ."
"Thanks ." They both said in unison .
"What would you like to have ?" Arizona asked without taking her eyes off of the menu as she began to browsing it . Well , she came here often so ordering for herself was easy but for the brunette , on the other hand , was a bit of challenge . Was Callie a seafood person ? No ? If no , there were always another choices . Steaks for example . This was why she came to this place often , because of its wider choices of foods . Arizona was having a lot of thoughts inside of her brain .
But Callie was still scanning around the restaurant . She looked up and saw a lot of stars shone brightly in the skies . She later fixed her eyes to the spectacular view of the ocean on her right side , there was a lighthouse not far from the restaurant too . She looked at the heart shaped lights wrapped around the wooden barriers that were keeping the customers away from the ocean .
"Calliope ?" Arizona looked up with a confusion on her face .
"Yes ?" She asked dumbly , turning her head as her eyes met with Arizona's blue eyes . "I am sorry . I was completely blown away with the view . It is so .. amazing ."
Arizona could only smile . "I am asking you … What would you like to eat ?"
"I don't know . Everything seems so nice ." Callie stared down on the menu . "And expensive ."
"Please order anything you want . Money isn't a problem , it's my treat . Just enjoy the dinner with me ."
"You are the expert . You order for me ." Even though that she knew Arizona wouldn't have any problem with anything she was going to order , expensive or not , she was still not going to take advantage of it . So she decided to play it safe , just letting Arizona to order for her .
"If that's the case , I would love to have you try the charcoal grill ribs . And we can share the seafood platter along with the salad and .. also the mushroom soup here tasted heavenly great . How's that sound ?" Arizona suggested , her forehead was wrinkling as she spoke . Thinking - Arizona was so adorable .
"Fantastic ." Callie smiled .
"You words were true ." Callie put down her fork . "This is the best ribs I have ever taste . And the soup is so creamy ."
"They hired a French Chef for that soup and also for the desserts . Speaking of that , you should try a Fried Camembert for the dessert ." Arizona waved to the waiter as she ordered their desserts .
"Fried Camembert with raspberry sauce , that one I got it . But a French Fries and one scoop of vanilla ice cream ?" Callie raised her eyebrows as soon as the waiter left .
"It's my thing with Aiden . We love to eat the fries that way , well at first it was only me . It was a little weird , I know ." Arizona let out a small laugh . "I guess he followed in my footsteps ."
Callie saw the light trapped inside of the deep blue eyes whenever Arizona talked about her family . She loved them too much and Callie couldn't imagine how Arizona handled it for the first few months after losing them . "Do you miss him ?"
"Not a day goes by without me missing him . I still have the nightm…" Arizona's eyes fell down on the ocean . No , no one should knew about the nightmare she sometimes had . "I wake up and the first or second things I will think about is him . He's my baby ."
"And Joanne ?" There was a risk of Arizona shutting her out again but Callie had to ask . It wasn't because she was jealous , she could never be jealous of her . Joanne was dead . She would never return again and Arizona was moving on . Callie just thought that Joanne was a lucky woman . Arizona and her seemed to be really in love .
But the truth of what she didn't know like the rest of other people was how Arizona's marriage to Joanne was on the rock that last year . But they both were trying hard to fix it . So no , Arizona's marriage wasn't perfect . In fact , none of marriages in this world were close to perfect . There would always be a rough time and only with patiences they could survive .
"Joanne will always be in my heart . She was my first love . But you .. You are like coming up for fresh air . It's like I was drowning and you saved me . That's all I know . For now ." Arizona gave Callie an assuring look .
"You don't have to reassure me about that , Arizona . I am not asking you because I am jealous about your previous love life or how highly you speak of it . I am just trying to know you better . I have my exes too and I believed that different person taught us different version of relationship and also different kind of love ."
"And just what kind of version of the relationship you are having with me ?" Arizona chuckled .
"Mysteriously addicting , nail biting kind of relationship ." Callie replied with a soft giggles . "And sometimes it could turn into a pain in the ass relationship ."
"I am so not mysterious . I am me . I don't have any mask on . And a pain in the ass ? Are we now talking about …" Arizona looked around before she continued with a joke . "Anal sex ?"
"Arizona !" Callie slapped the pale hand which made her received an 'oww' from Arizona almost instantly .
Callie pulled a face as the waiter suddenly arrived with their desserts . The past few weeks had been great for both of them but until now , they never ever had sex . That topic never crossed and it made Callie a little bit frustrated . Yes , their relationship was filled with sweet moments but it was that one thing that she still patiently wait . Maybe Arizona tried to play it slowly and natural but it had become too slow !
The sexual tensions were there , she could see it in Arizona's eyes and body movements but everytime she tried to .. ahem , seduced her … Arizona seemed to be pushing her away . And something would came up after that . An email to be read , a paper to be signed , a phone call to be made . Sometimes she felt like Arizona was deliberately avoiding it . Were there any romantic relationships out there that could survive without sex ? Wasn't sex was important too in order to made two people feel more connected in a relationship ? To made them feel closer to each other . To made them moved as one eventually ?
Arizona said nothing but her fingers were plucking away the fries from the plate as she dipped it into the ice cream bowl before she finally put it into her mouth . The mixture of hot and cold sensational felt too good for her . While enjoying her fries , Arizona was staring at Callie from across the table .
"What ?" Callie asked nervously as she couldn't read the stare this time . "Is there something below my lips ?"
"Nothing , these fries tasted good . And you are just so .. beautiful . I could never get tired of staring at you ." Arizona winked . "I am enjoying the taste and the view of pure sweetness on the same time at this moment ." For once after a very long time , she finally felt that life was great again .
"Wow , did a truck of sugarcanes fell directly on your lips ?" Callie asked .
"Ahhh , you are ruining my art of compliments , Calliope . Just take the compliment , that isn't so hard to do . Right ?" Arizona faked a disappointment in her face .
"It's still weird coming from you . I am adjusting ." Callie laughed as she took the first bite of the Camembert but then she continued . "It sounds corny sometimes . Good lord , this tastes …"
"Gold ." Arizona cut off with the signature dimples . "You see , a normal person would say it tastes delicious or good but trying not to be a corny person you wish I wouldn't be , I'd say it tastes like gold ."
"You are mocking me ." Callie rolled her eyes .
"Because I just love to see your reaction to it ."
"You mean this reaction ?" Callie pointed toward her face as she rolled her eyes .
"Yes and no . Yes , the reaction of you rolling your eyes bewitched me but no , this time it didn't have an effect on me . The rolling needs to happen spontaneously ."
Callie shook her head and she rolled her eyes , again and spontaneously !
"Yeah , that's what I am talking about ." Arizona was laughing so hard from across the table .
"I want to stab you with my fork ." Callie frowned . But deep down she knew she was happy . Hearing Arizona's laugh filled the place and seeing Arizona showing off her dimples countless time today , Callie was happy . Her smiles are just too beautiful to be keeps hidden , so , Callie would make sure the blonde smiles more after this .
Callie walked to the passenger seat where Arizona already waited for her , holding the door open with a dimpled smiles . "Thanks , I had a great dinner here ."
"You are welcome . We are still going to my place , right ?" Arizona asked , just to set out their plan straight .
"Yes .. But I am not intruding , right ?" Callie asked nervously . Arizona's place ? Maybe tonight was the night . Sex night ? Callie tried her best to suppressed the laugh .
"No , you are not ." Arizona was giggling . She pushed the door close as she rounded her car to get to the driver seat .
But then she was stopped by the waiter that took their order earlier .
"Miss Robbins ?" The waiter called , he looked like he just ran to get to her .
"Yep ?" Arizona turned around , still smiling .
"Your girlfriend left her purse ."
"My .. girlfriend ?" The smile on her face disappeared as Arizona turned her head toward the direction of her car . Callie was still sitting inside of the car , she still had her broad smile on .
And here she was , staring again at the brunette . But this time the stare was deep and sharp , almost like a frown .
"Miss , the purse …?" The waiter's voice interrupted whatever thought that was penetrating Arizona's mind .
"Yea .. Right . Her purse . Thank you ." Arizona turned to face the waiter . The purse exchanged to her hand and she made her way to her Audi where Callie was waiting .
Arizona entered the car with a sigh , annoyed look was clearly shown on her face . Saying nothing , she put down the purse on Callie's lap .
Author's Note : Uh , oh . What do you think ? What is bugging Arizona's head now ? Hit the review button guys .
Thursday
9th March 2017
0530hrs
