Chapter 5: Miiko's Day With the Chibis and Malik's trip to the Doctor's

"What exactly do you want me to do with them?" Miiko asked me, unenthusiastically.

"I dunno...Just keep them busy and don't lose them or get them killed or anything like that," I said plainly. Then I pulled her aside,"Ryou-chan's birthday just passed but nobody remembered it so just do something special for him, all right?"

She nodded and extended her right palm towards my face,"Then I'll need some cash."

"Fine," I said, getting out my wallet. I gave her ten bucks but she wasn't happy until I ended up giving her $33. I sighed since I practically gave her most of my savings.

"All right now have fun with Miiko-chan and you're welcome to give her a hard time," I said with a fake smile.

"What are you going to do, Ruri-san?" Yugi asked me.

"I'll be here...taking care of Malik and trying to get through the rest of the day without him vomiting on me. Yep, being a responsible guardian for you all is such a treat," I said sarcastically.

"I knew it! You are getting rid of us! You're just using your dimwitted friend as a part of your plot to get rid of us! I will never go without a fight!" Kaiba declared.

"Would you quit going into the sugar cupboard already!" I said.

"You're gonna leave me with hyper kids!" Miiko suddenly exclaimed.

"Um...Well you better go to the zoo before you miss the bird show!" I said, pushing her out the door.

"Yay! We're going to the zoo!" Yugi said happily, jumping up and down.

"Can we go to the gift shop, Miiko-san?" Mai asked, tugging her arm.

"Can we go feed the lions?" Jou asked.

"Alll riiight! We're going to the zoo! Perfect place to cause some destruction!" Bakura said.

"We're going to the zoo, excellent!" Marik said with a devious glint in his eyes.

Poor Miiko-chan's expression: OO!

"Poor Miiko-chan, she's about to experience the worst day of her entire life...Oh, well!" I said cheerfully, going upstairs.

My Duty

'Hmm...being at home without the others is pretty nice' I thought, falling asleep by the minute.

Malik was currently sleeping somewhat peacefully in the crib, so that means I had nothing to do but sit beside it and waited until he needed to vomit. I am determined not to let him puke in the crib which means that I was saving myself from having to clean up anymore funny smelling vomit. I peered over the edge of the crib and smiled,'Aww, he's so cute when he's sleeping like a little angel! And vomiting once again...' I thought unpleasantly as I carried him to the bathroom to clean him up.

Meanwhile

"Come back here, Bakura!" Miiko yelled, running after the pale child.

"No! NEVER!" he yelled back, running away from her.

"Miiko-san! Come quick! The gorilla grabbed Yugi and now she's trying to cradle him!" Yami yelled, tugging on her sleeve urgently.

"Miiko-san, may I buy some popcorn?" Shizuka asked.

"Miiko-san, I want to go to the alligator tanks!" Jou said loudly.

"Miiko-san, Ryou-kun's gone!" Anzu said.

"So is Marik!" Isis exclaimed.

"AHHHH! HELP! MIIKO-SAN!" Yugi yelled desperately.

"Somebody, come quick! There's a brunette and a black-haired boy trying to free the warthogs!" a random yell sounded.

"OH MY GOD! Someone's having sex in the bird cages!" another random yell sounded. (A/N: hehe I got this idea when I remembered the time my friends told me that they heard people doing it in the library bathroom. LOL)

Everybody except Yugi stopped what they were doing and faced Miiko:

"Miiko-san, what's sex?" they all asked in unison.

"AHHHH!" a scream came out of her mouth and she ran away from them.

My side

"God, Malik, just when are you going to stop puking all over my home?" I asked, wiping his vomit from his clothes.

" Sorry, Ruri-san, I can't help it," he said, then sneezed.

"Hmm...I guess that you have a cold or something major. I should take you to a doctor or something," I said.

Miiko's side again

"Okay, maybe we shouldn't do anything so active," Miiko said, carrying Yugi, who was wearing a little neck brace.

"Miiko-san, my neck hurts," Yugi said.

"I know that, Yugi, but the doctor says that it'll stop hurting in a few days. In the meantime, don't tell Ruri-chan that I did this. Just say that you were climbing something and then fell," she said.

"But that's a lie," Yugi said. (A/N: Kids and their honesty)

"Tell you what: if you don't tell Ruri-san what really happened then I'll give you lots of candy, okay?" she asked innocently.

"No," he answered simply.

"What do you want then?"

"I wanna watch a scary movie!" he yelled.

"Yeah me too!"

"Me three!"

"Me four!"

"Me five!" It basically goes on and on. You know the rest.

"OKAY! Then let's go to the movie rental place!" Miiko said.

At the Doctor's

"One potato, two potato, three potato," I muttered absentmindedly to myself.

"Ruri-san, I'm bored as hell," Malik said.

"Yeah, me too. This is usually why I hate going to a doctor's office. People just take too damn LONG!" I shouted the last word.

Everybody turned to look at me either with an annoyed expression or a shocked expression. I turned away from them and continued to wait for Malik's turn. Malik, evidently, was bored too so he started to ask me questions. First, it was basic questions like pointing to something and asking,"What's that?" Unfortunately, he started to ask me 'why' questions.

"Ruri-san, why are we waiting so long?"

"Because they want you to lose your sanity."

"Ruri-san, why are bugs so ugly?"

"I dunno"

"Ruri-san, why is that lady's butt so big?" he asked, pointing to a nurse's behind.

"Well-what!" I exclaimed, finally registering what he just asked.

The nurse having heard his question, turned around and glared at me. I apologized quickly and profusely. I was so embarrassed that I hid my face behind a car magazine.

"What's wrong, Ruri-san?"

"Shut up and quit saying my name," I hissed.

"I got another question: how come that man has boobs?"

"Oh my god! Shut up! Shut up!" I yelled, alarmed, covering his mouth.

"Ishtar, Malik?" another nurse said.

"Yeah, we're here," I said, dragging the little annoyance beside me.

"Good. Dr. Fuku will be coming, just wait here for the time being," the nurse said, leading up into a room.

"All right, thanks," I said, watching as she walked out.

Then I turned to Malik then started to scold him:

"You little bleep!"

A/N: That was pretty random unlike my other stories which I usually carefully plan out. Um, there you are? R&R!