Disclaimer: not my creation...only my toys

Authors note: Here is the second part of this story. I could end it here or I could probably keep writing. Let me know if you want to hear more from me. Songs that I thought fit the mood of this story are as follows. Under The Covers by The Spill Canvas, Crawling Back To You by the Backstreet Boys and Boys Don't Cry by The Cure. Enjoy!


Severus Snape sat in his study. He wasn't doing anything in particular, at least not to the naked eye. Severus Snape was thinking, he had been doing a lot of that as of late. His mind kept dwelling on one topic: Hermione Granger. He had been dating the girl for about 6 months now. He was feeling suffocated though. Every time he turned around, it seemed like she was there, smiling up at him, her gaze boring into him when he wasn't looking. His nights have been sleepless as of late. He couldn't seem to quiet his mind. He wasn't sure what was making him feel this way, but he was sure that he needed to make it stop. The only way he knew to do that was to end the relationship.

Severus rapidly got to his feet and swept into the sitting area where he knew he would find Hermione snuggled into a chair reading a large book. His robes billowed behind him in the menacing fashion that he preferred them to. His sleek black hair bouncing slightly as he walked swiftly and with purpose. He wished his hair didn't bounce in such a light fashion though; it made him seem less…sever.

Upon reaching the sitting room he spoke up, knowing that she wouldn't realize he was there while she was engrossed in a large book. "Hermione, may I have a word?"

She closed the book keeping her finger in the page she was at. "Certainly Severus."

"I've been doing some thinking lately…And well, you see…" I hate how inarticulate I am when it comes to her! Her eyes just do something to me, they make me feel powerless. "I…think we should take a break… I'm not happy with how things are going. I'm not happy with where we're going. I'm just…not happy."

Hermione's eyes lit up in horror"A break? Define "break" Have another girl all lined up don't we?"

Severus felt a sudden urge to explain himself. "Baby it's not like that. I need my space is all." He paused momentarily as she stood quickly. There was a loud thud as she released his book from her grip and dropped it to the floor as she ran out the door slamming that too on her way out. "I feel suffocated…." He added in a whispered tone after she had left.

Immediate realization hit him hard once she had stormed out that he messed up and had messed up big time. If only I could articulate my thoughts better…If only I could take back what I said…If only I understood myself better…If only I could make her feel better. Severus had a million different thoughts whirling about his head. There were at least a thousand different If's in there. He wanted to run after her. Wanted to wrap her in a warm embrace and tell her "I'm sorry" tell her it was a cruel joke. Tell her anything to make the tears go away. But I'm not the person she's going to want to see right now. I'm not the person I want to see right now… This was a sure sign of a self loathing stage that was going to begin. Not to mention it didn't look very much like his sleeping patterns were going to improve very much from here on out either.

Severus inhaled deeply her scent that still lingered in the room; trying to mentally put it into a bottle to store for use at a later date. He knew that it was going to be a while before she would allow him any sort of closeness. Her scent brought him a sort of comfort. She always made him feel comfortable. Why did I have to say anything? I can be such a dunder-head sometimes…

Snape's mood did not improve any in the days to follow. He became darker and moodier and took this out on his students. He knew that they hated and feared him already, what did it matter if he was a little meaner, a little harder, a little more Snape to them?

As time passed, Snape was depending on potions to sleep at night. He couldn't stand being away from Hermione. He felt like when he chased her out of his rooms that he tore out his own heart. He was battering and bruising himself. I know what I said, we'd be better off alone…I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell… Snape had been thinking about it for almost two months now. He had torn apart his life, which he thought was broken, but he was sadly mistaken. I need to talk to her, I need to see her. Show her how much she really means to me…

Snape resolved that evening before his potion fully kicked in that he would go find Hermione tomorrow before the children left. With that thought his muscles relaxed onto the soft bed below him and he slept for the next 8 hours.

Upon awaking Snape kicked off his covers and dragged himself to the bathroom. He felt like he had been hit with 1000 hexes at once. I've never felt so terrible after a dreamless sleep potion. He took one look in the mirror and was greeted by a man that looked ten years older than he was in fact. His skin slightly yellowed with a sickly appearance, the bags under his eyes were so bad that he could have packed his entire set of rooms in them. He ignored the image in the mirror and went about the task of preparing for today. He needed all the courage he could muster. He was going to see Hermione, his missing puzzle piece. He needed to prepare himself to slice open his pride and beg her to come back to him. He was like a lost puppy without her. He needed her to survive.

Severus made the trip up to her rooms looking determined and wearing his favorite robes. They had the right amount of menace in them when they billowed behind him. He always wore them for his first lessons of the year. He thought that the extra snap in their billowing made him look that much more menacing. A small smile escaped his lips until he realized just where he was headed. He was going to lay himself on the alter of sacrifice in the name of love. His nerves picked the worse time to act up just before he knocked. He was going to knock with determination and purpose, but instead his knock sounded weak and needy.

Snape was pulled out of his thoughts when the door opened in front of him.

"Severus…" Hermione trailed off momentarily. "What a…pleasant surprise."

"Hello Hermione." Was the only response he was able to muster. Her eyes cut into him like a warm knife cut away a pad of butter.

"Mind if I come in?" Severus asked, wishing not to have the conversation he was hoping to have in the main corridors of Hogwarts for all to see.

"I guess." Hermione moved to allow him entrance to her sitting room before asking "Can I get anything for you?" Severus subconsciously inhaled deeply as he walked past her. The memory of her scent still firmly implanted in his mind.

Severus didn't hear her question over the thoughts in his head. He wasn't sure if he was going to do this. He needed her back. He looked her over quickly. She looked fantastic. She didn't look as though she hadn't been sleeping. In fact she looked better than he remembered. He hadn't been coming to dinners when he could help it. He often made excuses about having potions to brew or too many papers to grade and took meals in his rooms as often as possible. The sight of her pained him enormously, despite the fact that he pushed her away, not the other way around.

"Hermione…" Severus wasn't sure how to begin this conversation. His life had always been so calculated. Everything from how he walks about his class to when to grade his papers is timed precisely. However, with this young witch he was at a loss as to how to handle her and the predicament he currently found himself in. "I've been thinking…"

Hermione gave him a questioning look to prod his slow going process along.

"I…I've been a shadow of myself since you've gone. I can't sleep, I can't eat. I only relive that evening over and over again in my mind."

"Severus, if you remember correctly, you were the one that called it quits. You're the one that needed your space."

"I know what I said. That night tortures me so. I don't know what I was thinking. As soon as you stormed out I felt bad about hurting you. After realizing how much I must have hurt you I realized how much I was hurting myself…"

"So that's it then? You ripped my heart out Severus. You crushed me. And now you expect me to just take you back and pretend that nothing ever happened?"

"I did not say that. I'm well aware that I ripped your heart out. I was not aware, that I was going to rip my own heart out in the process though… I'm not saying to forget what was, but I would like to work on what we had, make it better; with your permission of course. I owe you an apology. I've never faired well in relationships. In time I became bitter and spiteful. When you loved me despite that, I guess I got scared. I didn't think anyone would ever truly want me. I didn't know what else to do but push you away. But that only made matters worse. Please Hermione. I'm begging you. Let me try to make this up to you."

"I need to do some thinking Severus…"

"Will you tell me at least if you'll be remaining here for the duration of the recess?"

"I will be staying. Good bye Severus." Hermione stood quickly and walked towards the door waiting for Snape to follow. He did as she wished of him and followed quickly behind her. He glanced her over once more and inhaled deeply as he left. He walked rapidly and with purpose until he heard the door click shut behind him. Once he heard that and knew she couldn't see him anymore his shoulders slumped slightly and his walk became less severe. These were minor changes in his appearance, and to the untrained eye, such as that of the students, he still looked just as menacing, however, to someone who knows Snape well they would know instantly that he was saddened by something. He would retreat to his dungeon and await some sort of signal from Hermione.


PS: what do you think? Should I end it here or keep going?

Muzic