Back by popular demand! And by popular demand, I mean someone messaged me and asked for more. LOL. I said no, but then reread what I had and realized I could continue it if I so desired. That being the case, you're in luck.
Chapter 7:
An awkward silence filled the room. Hermione had tears streaming down her face and Harry was trying so hard not to join her. He wanted to run over to her, wrap his arms around her and make her stop crying, he hated to see her in pain. On the other hand, his heart had just be crushed, ripped out of his heart and stomped on by the very woman he wanted to comfort. I know she doesn't mean to hurt me. She just doesn't want an intimate relationship… That thought was a double-edged sword; it was just as much comfort as it was stab in the chest.
Harry stood in deep thought for a few moments longer before he gathered his voice and stated as flatly as he could that he thought it best for him to leave. Hermione stifled her sniffles for a moment and walked him to the door. They exchanged awkward goodbyes and Harry walked away unsure of what to do and where to go.
Harry shuffled slowly towards the gates of Hogwarts, as he did so a song he had heard in the muggle world had suddenly begun playing in his head. A better slumber/was in your arms/spent tangled up in you/a sudden morning/crashed in the room/with an uninvited sudden change in you. What can I say? Where's that girl from last night/that slept on that side/and looks just like you do? Truer words were never spoken as far as Harry was concerned.
Hermione was in her sitting room, laying on the couch crying. I'm a truly horrible person. I just tore the heart out of my best friend More sobs shook her body as she thought about the other man in her life. One Severus Snape had come back to her, asking for forgiveness and wanting her back. Ok, well maybe not in so many words, but he did just that in his Snapey way. She cried, and cried and cried some more. It felt like an eternity before all her sadness had left her body and mind. She felt terrible, but she also felt like a terrible person and that it was completely warranted. Hermione lay on her couch thinking about how to attempt to reconstruct her relationship with Harry, and how to apologize to Severus for her accusations earlier that day.
While laying and contemplating her future moves Hermione was interrupted with a loud grumble and she glanced at the clock. "Nearly 6 in the evening; no wonder you're protesting so." She spoke out loud to her body. Taking a few moments to make herself look as if she hadn't just spent two hours crying in her sitting room trying to decide what to do with her life. Hermione made her way down to dinner in the Great Hall and tried to cheerfully have conversations with her neighbors. She glanced around the room and noted that Severus was not at the meal yet again. She resolutely made up her mind to go to his rooms, the rooms they had shared, after dinner.
Severus was sitting at his desk with a large pile of rolled parchments sitting in front of him. He, however, was not grading them, he lied about work on numerous occasions as of late to avoid meal times. He was a little surprised that no staff member had yet to break into his rooms and drag him out to dinner. It had been approximately four months since he had told Hermione he wanted to take a break. Four months of not sleeping, of not eating, of feeling like the walking dead.
Severus began humming a tune and flipping through rolls of parchment, pretending to busy himself. If he tried to fidget then his mind would be less likely to think about her.
You can sleep in your own bed tonight/I know some day that you will wake up/as lonely as I am/'cause fate works both ways…
What an odd little tune Severus thought to himself, unsure of what it came from. It didn't sound familiar at all, but it was fitting, nonetheless.
He continued to riffle through his paperwork, unrolling the occasional parchment and staring blankly at it for minutes at a time before rolling it and putting back in the pile, still unread.
After dinner Hermione gathered up all of her Gryffindor courage and walked resolutely down to her old rooms. The rooms she had shared for 18 months with her lover and friend Severus Snape. She hesitated outside of the rooms. Poised to knock but couldn't quite make her hand connect with the door. She must have stood there for 5 minutes with her knuckles inches from the door. Her arm felt heavy when she realized she still hadn't moved. She shook her head and cleared the fog that had rolled into her eyes and tried to knock with determination.
Severus shook himself out of his daze and walked towards his doors. I guess my time is up; someone really isn't going to drag me off to dinner. Severus opened the door, pulling it hard trying to invoke fear into whoever dared to disturb him. He thought he had been quite clear that he was busy and didn't want to be interrupted. His fierce scowl softened immediately upon seeing who was at his door. He stammered slightly when saying her name "H-Hermione."
"Severus" She tried not to sound cold when his name came out, but it sounded harsh to her ears.
They stood in the doorway a moment staring at each other awkwardly, neither wanting to be weak and apologize first. The battle of wills had really begun at this point. Severus made the first move and stood slightly away from the door motioning for her to come in but never taking his eyes off of her.
Hermione accepted his invitation and stepped into his chambers without loosing eye contact. Those eyes, they burn into me. Into my body, my soul. Hermione could feel herself becoming less harsh under his gaze
I can't believe she actually came! Snape was dancing with joy inside, but his exterior was cold and icey. She loves me, I know she does.
Breaking eye contact first in this theoretical game of chicken, Hermione glanced about the room and noted that his housekeeping skills have faltered in her absence, though she could have guessed that gem of information by how his appearance had changed over these past few months. While she had gotten better relatively quickly, he was still struggling and suffering; sleepless and underfed, trying to distract himself.
Severus looked her carefully up and down while she was distracted by his room and noted that, for the most part she looked wonderful. She, however, slouched slightly with, what he assumed to be, fatigue and if he was correct she had glamoured her face to hide, puffy eyes from crying. He pondered what she could have been crying over. If it was because of that Potter boy, I'll kill him. His heart leapt at the outside possibility that she could have been weeping over him though. He tried not to get his hopes too far up. Silent appraisal had been going on for nearing ten minutes now, and it was starting to become painful. Severus took initiative and spoke. "So, what brings you to this part of the castle?" Simple enough question, but it sounded sillier than he thought it would after it left his tongue.
"I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by." Hermione responded without thinking, before she realized she was making a mockery of him. Her face displayed her accidental snide remark, but didn't make an attempt to take it back.
"Well, I'm glad that you took the time to come visiting…" Severus trailed off, deciding if he wanted to venture into talks about their last meeting at the lake.
Hermione, it seems was reading his mind. "Look, I'm sorry about accusing you of spying the other day. I was wrong, and…" Hermione trailed off
"Well, I probably shouldn't have been lurking in the shadows…"
A giggle escaped Hermione's lips. She can't believe that Severus, her, Severus Snape had just described himself as lurking in the shadows. Admittantly, that's what he does, but she never thought he would have described it as lurking. Wait a minute, did I just mentally describe Severus as mine? As quickly as the giggles started there was no sign of laughter on her face. Snape pulled a sour expression at the rash change in moods.
"Do you find something funny, Miss Granger?" Not sure as to where the use of her last name had come in Severus was slightly taken aback at his own coldness.
"No, sir" She emphasized the last word with equal coldness that he had just shown her.
DAMN IT, this isn't going according to plan at all! Snape mentally berated himself. She seemed to calm and he was just a big puddle of nerves. It was like being fifteen all over again and trying to talk to a girl. "Listen…" He tried to find the words he needed to say, but they wouldn't quite come, so he settled on this instead. "I think, maybe this visit started off on the wrong foot. Can we, maybe start again?" He held his breath waiting for her to respond. It felt like an eternity, but it was probably only about 15 seconds.
"I think that's a good idea." Hermione said she hesitated a minute and then spoke again. "So…how have you been doing?"
I think its painfully obviously, to at least you that I'm doing terrible, thanks for asking. That's what he wanted to say, but held his tongue. "I've been ok, and yourself?"
"I have my good days and my bad days…"
That sounded like an admission to missing me. Severus' hopeful brain started screaming at him. He smiled slightly in response and tried to decide where to take the conversation from there. Silence spanned around them as Severus struggled to find a topic to discuss. "How are classes?" Give me a break, it's the first question that came to mind.
"They're good. I've got a lot of bright students. And you? Lots of dunderheads I suppose?"
"Of course. Most of them are dunderheads actually. Though hardly any students could hold a candle to when I had you as a student."
What's this? It sounds suspiciously like Severus Snape is complimenting me! "Well, thank you. I always did try my hardest."
"I know you did." Now it's her turn to figure out something to say.
"So…I've been doing some thinking…" She tried to sound forceful, but only succeeded in sounding wishy-washy. "Something happened earlier, and I've been doing some thinking. Some of which, has been about…." She sighed and left a long dramatic pause, gathering her courage. "you."
"About…Me?" He repeated back to her.
"Yes, about you. And me, and Us actually."
"May I ask what brought this on?"
"If you really must know…Harry professed his love for me…"
Dagger into my heart. That little witch just plunged a dagger into my heart! Severus paled noticeably at the mention of Harry and he thought he lost her for good. There was no way that she would pick an old grumpy wizard over a boy she had known for about 10 years now that shared her age. Signs for continued self loathing…check.
"I love him Severus…" She said, trying to breeze through this part of the conversation. "But being intimate with him would be like kissing my brother. Do you know everything we've been through together?"
"So…you turned him down then?" He asked unsure.
"Yes. And I realized something else."
Oh boy! Here it comes! She thinks I'm a ugly, pervy old man. She'll never take me back…
"I realized, Severus, that in spite of your need to be a right old git, I love you."
Severus was stunned for a minute, he replayed that last piece of conversation over in his head, making sure that she did in fact say that she loved him. A smile twitched on his lips and all of his color rushed back to his face. "Really?"
Laughing again Hermione smiled at him, closed the gap between each other. Wrapped her arms around Severus Snape and said into his chest "Yes really, you big black bat."
He laughed a little and embraced her. He inhaled deeply, recalling her scent as he did so.
"I do have one question for you though." Hermione said after a few moments.
"And that would be?" He asked prepared for the worst.
"Do you bewitch your robes with the sole purpose of looking evil and the like?"
Severus just laughed and avoided the question with a twinkle in his eye. One That Hermione couldn't see because she had her head against his chest. Relishing the protective feel of her lover's arms around her once more.
ok, it's legitimately done this time, I swear. Oh, and if you really like angst, I posted something earlier today that I don't know where to take it. It's called "Tears of Sadness."
PS: the song was A Goodnight's Sleep by The Startingline
