Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Author's note: Just trying to hit some relationship moments. Let me know if it's boring! Thanks!
Chapter 13
Lindsay Monroe couldn't help but feel like a girl in high school. She and Danny had been "dating" for about a month now, him formally picking her up for dates or meeting her at the location. They went to movies, dinner at countless restaurants, picnics, toured museums. Danny had even surprised her with a trip to see Rent on Broadway.
They had shared each other's pasts, hopes for the future, lots of laughter, and a lot of mind-numbing kisses. When they were in their cars, she couldn't help feel like she had in her first boyfriend's aging Ford pickup at the edge of her uncle's property - the feeling of fevered touches and kisses with the promise of more hanging in the air.
But more had not yet come. Danny seemed determined to take things slow, do things right. And Lindsay thought that was wonderful. But there was one problem.
She wanted him. Badly.
"It's okay," her sister Beth had told her when she admitted this. "Women can want sex just as much as any man. But Lindsay, let Danny lead. He wants to do things right. Let him. In the mean time, just take some cold showers and imagine that Hammerbeck guy naked if you have to."
She was right, and Lindsay knew it, but damn, Danny Messer was a fine piece of 100 percent grade A male. Oh well, the time will come, Lindsay thought.
"Whaddya smilin' at Montana?" a voice drawled behind her. Lindsay smiled and turned to face the man in question.
"Nothing. Just looking forward to another joyous day at work," she said sweetly.
Danny steered her into a nearby empty hallway near the lab and pulled her back against him. "Somethin' tells me you're thinking impure thoughts, Montana. Care to share?"
Lindsay fought a giggle and turned, giving him her best professional glare. "Mr. Messer, I'll thank you to speak to me in a more respectful tone. Just because your thoughts are in the gutter, doesn't mean mine are. Now let's get back to work."
She started to laugh a bit at the end and quickly walked away, Danny's chuckle echoing behind her. Thus far he and Lindsay had managed not to alert the world to their romance. Only Flack knew for sure, although Lindsay thought Stella suspected. The couple worked cases and managed to keep things professional. Eventually, though, if things kept progressing, Mac would have to know.
But not yet, Lindsay thought, not yet.
What started out as a great day quickly turned south for Lindsay. She, Mac and Hawkes responded to a domestic violence case - a battered wife had shot and killed her husband when she found him molesting their daughter. The evidence backed up her story, and Lindsay was comforting to the young mother who she felt did what her own mother never could quite do: Protect her child.
Shaken, but comforted by the thought that the mother and daughter would get the help they needed - she contacted social services for assistance - Lindsay went to her desk to do some paperwork and found a noted waiting for her.
I need to see you in my office ASAP.
Mac
The terse note had Lindsay frowning, and she immediately went to see her boss. "What's up, Mac?"
He motioned her inside and she closed the door behind her. His eyes narrowed and his posture was ramrod straight. Uh-oh, she thought.
"Lindsay, in our occupation, emotional detachment is key. And after today, I want to know if I can count on you to behave as such in the future. Your behavior with the Jones case was inappropriate. We all felt sorry for the woman, but she murdered her husband. It isn't for us to decide if that decision was right or wrong. We follow the evidence and let the prosecutors handle the rest. Holding that woman's hand, telling her everything was going to be all right, pulling strings with social services - none of it was your job. This kind of biased behavior can jeopardize a case. A couple of the officers assigned were concerned about your actions, and so am I."
Lindsay was taken aback. She had just done was came naturally. Unfortunately for her, he was not done.
"This is not the first time. Blowing up at that suspect a few months ago, visiting one of the killers in jail - all of it reeks of a lack of professionalism. I'm disappointed in you, Lindsay, and if this keeps happening, I'm going to have to suspend you. For now, go home, and think about what I've said."
She couldn't speak. Tears threatened to choke her. In her months in New York, she had seen multiple episodes of unprofessional behavior occur around her without censure. Then she shows compassion and gets dressed down like this? Not trusting herself, Lindsay merely nodded and left, running straight to her car without even picking up her purse from her desk.
A few hours later, Lindsay was still sulking on the couch when there was a knock on the door. "Hey Montana." Danny's voice rang through the door. "You better make up for leavin' and not saying good-bye."
Lindsay sighed. She almost forgot their dinner date. She wasn't even dressed for it - she was still wearing jeans stained from the day's crime scene. She would have to talk to him - she had given him an extra outside door key and he was just outside. Lindsay went to answer the door and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror - red eyed, no makeup. Wow, I'm a prize.
She opened the door and took a breath. "Danny, I'm sorry, I should have called, but I don't think I'm going to make it tonight. I've had a bad day and -" she was horrified when tears threatened and tried to turn away, but Danny had other ideas.
"Hey you. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what happened." He guided her over to the couch and she haltingly tried to give him an unemotional account of Mac's dressing down - She didn't succeed.
"Danny, I didn't hide evidence or do anything to get this woman off. I just gave support when it became clear she was taking responsibility for what happened - which wasn't her fault!"
He looked at her quietly. "Have you ever told Mac about what happened with your parents?"
"What does that have to do with this?"
"I think you know it has everything to do with this. If Mac knew, he would understand better, and may even adjust your cases to avoid this type of thing."
"I don't want people walking on egg shells around me, Danny. That's one of the reasons I left Montana. I was the CSI with a past. Oh my, don't shock the chick with the shattered past." Lindsay, agitated, began cleaning the apartment.
Danny put his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him. "C'mon Montana. We all have our demons, you gotta know that. You're no different in that. But you hafta give Mac a heads up so he knows what he's dealin' with."
She hung her head. "I just can't believe I let my past affect me this way, let my dad affect me this way. The bastard."
Danny drew her to him, his heart constricting at her pain. "I'm sorry, Linds."
As much as she tried not to, Lindsay began to cry softly. "Just when I think I've moved on, it comes back to bite me. I just want to be free of it all."
Danny held her awhile, and she finally pulled away to look at him. "You're right Danny. I'm just sick of having to explain my past. I had to do it in Montana, because everyone knew anyway, but I didn't want to have to do it here."
"Mac will understand," Danny said, kissing her forehead.
"I'm just not looking forward to going through it again, Danny." Tears welled, and Danny held her closer.
"Sshhhh …" He kissed her forehead again, then her cheek. When she tilted her lips to meet his, he kissed those too. What began as comforting touches soon began to become something more. Their kisses deepened, breathing quickened as hands began to move. Lindsay nibbled on Danny's neck - she already knew that was a weak spot - and he pulled her hard against him. He tried to resist her. "God, Lindsay … I want you but not like this …"
Lindsay silenced him with her lips, moving her hands lower. She was rewarded with a gasp, and Danny finally gave in, pulling at the buttons on her blouse as she fought with the belt on his jeans. "Danny …"
Her whispered voice was molten music to his ears. He remembered pegging her as uptight, unable to loosen up, but the woman in his arms was full of fire and lacked control, just as he did. For her part, Lindsay couldn't get enough of his hands on her. They seemed to block the world out, keeping her demons at bay.
They moved toward the bedroom, clothes leaving a trail behind them.. Danny was down to his boxers and Lindsay was topless with unbuttoned jeans when there was a buzz, signaling that someone was at the outside entrance of her building. "Forget it," Lindsay said when Danny's lips stilled.
A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. "Lindsay? Come on, open up. Your neighbor Sally let me in - she said you're home. We need to talk."
"Oh god! It's Mac!" Lindsay whispered. "What do I do?"
"Umm, I make like your adulterous lover and hide in the bedroom. You, answer the door, although you might want to put your shirt on."
Lindsay grabbed her blouse and began to put in on, yelling, "Just a minute, Mac!" Suddenly her bra landed on her head. "Don't forget that, Montana. I don' want Mac seein' the girls hangin' out." Then he ducked in the bedroom.
Finally, smoothing her hair, Lindsay answered her door. "Mac! What a surprise!" Her boss walked in, looking at the apartment around him. Luckily, she and Danny hadn't messed much up besides each other. "What can I do for you?"
"You left your purse on your desk," he said, setting her bag on a nearby table and turned to face her. "Listen, I felt badly for how I came down on you today. I don't apologize for reprimanding you, just for how I did it. I should have known there was something going on here. After I spoke to Roger in Montana …"
"You talked to Roger?" Roger Simmons was her former boss. He had been kind to her, and treated her fairly even after he heard of her past.
"I hope you aren't offended, Lindsay, but I called him because I was worried about you. I knew something was wrong, and I wanted to get his take on things. Don't be angry at him, but he told me about your parents." Lindsay opened her mouth to speak but Mac silenced her with a wave of his hand. "You should have told me. Anything that can affect our job performance needs to be on the table, Lindsay, or we can't work around it."
She sank down on her couch. "I'm sorry, Mac. I just wanted to start fresh, not with a cart full of baggage."
Mac sat next to her, hand on her shoulder. "Baggage? Lindsay, you know what Danny and Stella have been through, and my wife …" He paused. "We all have it, and we've all managed to deal with it. If you're willing to work with me, we can deal with your issues, too."
Lindsaynodded gratefully. "I promise, Mac. I'll be open from now on," she paused. "I just hope we're ok."
Mac stood and walked toward the door. "Of course. You're a wonderful CSI, Lindsay, that's why I hired you. Just trust me, OK?"
She nodded and the two walked toward the door. Suddenly, Mac's toe caught on something, which turned out to be Danny's belt. Mac picked it up with a raised eyebrow. He finally took in her mussed hair and still-swollen lips. "Ah. It seems I was interrupting something?" His eyes cut to the closed bedroom door.
"I - ah, Mac -"
"You know what Lindsay? None of my business. I'll see you tomorrow."
Lindsay closed the door behind him, breathing a sigh of relief. A moment later, Danny exited her bedroom, fully dressed. He walked over and grabbed his belt. "There it is. Luckily I don't have one of those big belt buckles with my name on it."
Lindsay touched his arm. "I'm sorry, Danny …"
He reached out and pulled her into a warm embrace. "Don't be. Listen, Lindsay, I keep sayin' I don't want to rush, and I mean it. We were in danger of letting outside stuff push us together again, and I don't want that to happen. When our time comes - and it will - I want it to be something we are both ready for."
Lindsay nodded against his chest. Despite her raging hormones, she knew he was right."Sorry I threw myself at you."
"Oh believe me, girlie, I was very willing. Mac's interruption just helped me realize now is not the time. Besides, your stomach just growled. How 'bout some pizza? Let's go out though, if we wait for delivery …"
His eyes traveled over her body, and Lindsay's inside's churned deliciously. Much as she'd like to say in, he was right. She sighed, then pushed him away, grabbing her purse. "Make tracks cowboy."
TBC
