Baltimore

Cemetery

Although there was no sign of rain probably going to flood the skies but still , it was a breezy morning when Arizona decided to visit her wife's grave .

She and also two men from the security team had taken a late flight last night just an hour before Callie's flight from Miami landed on Seattle ... what a coincidence , resulting the three of them to arrived at Baltimore super early in the morning . Didn't want her parents to worry about her sudden appearance back to her hometown , she got herself checked in at the nearby hotel .

Not even her parents knew she was here . And she didn't intend to visit them after this cemetery trip .. in order to avoid the many , many questions that she positively knew her parents would ask her .

Those questions .. one of them must be the one that she would prefer not to answer .. the very golden question .. And that would be , 'where is Callie ?'

Arizona sighed quietly , looking back at her two bodyguards that were standing straight not far away .. next to the car , guarding and observing for any suspicious activity . You could see that the blonde was under a very tight security nowadays ... And yes , it actually would be safer if the two security men followed Arizona closely , rather than letting her walked into the open cemetery area alone but Arizona had asked them to wait outside , to let her had her own private moment .

The private cemetery was quiet and empty considering that today was only Tuesday , compared to Saturday and Sunday where people usually spent their times visiting their loved one that had unfortunately passed away too soon .

Arizona slowly put down the pink carnation that she brought together with her on her wife's grave . Aiden had the same type of flowers but his was a white one , which Arizona already put down earlier on her son's grave that was located just next to Joanne's . The blonde later sat in front of Joanne's grave , like she always did when she were visiting them . Arizona shivered when she felt the chill wind touched her body while her eyes traveled down on every carved words on the gravestone .

Joanne Marie Sullivan

My Once Upon A Time

Your smile and love will never be forgotten

"Good morning , Joanne . And you too , Aiden ." Arizona raised her voice a little higher as her eyes shot up toward the direction of her son's grave , acknowledging him . "How's my two favourite people ?"

They said dead people always followed the person that they loved , everywhere .. right after the moment they stopped breathing . Eventhough they couldn't be seen by the very rough eyes but their presence were oftenly felt by their loved one .

It felt like .. as if you were being watched and guarded by them from the far above over there .

Above there ? What was that really mean ? Most importantly , what it meant to Arizona ? Did Arizona believe in afterlife ? In heaven ? Or hell ?

The blonde never really believed in God . But she would like to believe that her late wife and son were now living happily in heaven . That thought , that believe , that imagination .. of Aiden and Joanne smiling happily from up there as they watched every steps Arizona took .. These happy imaginations , they were the thoughts that helped Arizona sleep at night .

But now Arizona wasn't so sure if Joanne would be please with what was currently happening in her life .

Things were now messy .

And all the blonde wanted to do was to disconnect herself from everyone . She needed a break . She needed a space . She needed a second of actually not thinking about what was happening now , Arizona clenched her teeth as she thought about it . The blonde just couldn't hold back that spontaneous habit she frequently had these days .

"Is this some kind of a punishment , Joanne ? Could you englighten me ? Because I don't know what to do now . It feels like a dead road for me ." Arizona shivered as she felt cold air touched her body .

Oh , Baltimore had never been this cold .

But not as cold as Seattle , Arizona thought to herself ...

What was happening in Seattle , Arizona couldn't care less . Callie had returned back from Miami and she wasn't the one that picked her up . She was up on the skies , rushing her way to Baltimore instead .

The whole sudden trip to Baltimore , it was for her to take a little break from all the hurt and the betrayal that she felt .

"I made a vow to love you unconditionally , till death do us apart . And you gone now ... Too soon . So tell me , is this all a punishment that you have set ready for me ?" Arizona stopped , choking on every words she just uttered . "Am I selfish ? To move on after you and Aiden have left ?"

"People said that it isn't wrong for me to find happiness again . To have another love story after us but .. I don't know . Maybe what I have with her , isn't a genuine love story . She is not being honest with me . And here I am , sobbing in front of your grave .. over another woman . You must be laughing at me now , aren't you ?" Arizona let out a small laugh .

"She is the daughter of the same lawyer that defended your killers . You must be thinking that .. out of all other people in this world that I could start over with , why her ? Right ?" Arizona sighed , resting her head on the knee .

She was exhausted and drained . Her mind wandered .. everything seemed to go back to Seattle and that one particular woman . No matter where she was .

You've awoken me but you're choking me , I was so obsessed .

Gave you all of me and now honestly , I got nothing left .

Arizona looked up to the skies , losing into the seemingly never ending thoughts again .. But that was when her phone suddenly vibrated ...

And George name was up on the screen .

She sighed .


Seattle

Two Days Later

This night is cold in the kingdom

I can feel you fade away

From the kitchen to the bathroom sink

Your steps keep me awake

In the dark , Callie eyes were wandering around the gloomy bedroom of Arizona and her . Her never gave up eyes search for the blonde but she just knew that the blonde wasn't in here . Callie didn't know what went wrong or what changed so suddenly that made Arizona act so cold toward her . Arizona .. that she knew would never left her alone in the bed at night was suddenly nowhere to be found . And not just tonight . Tonight was the repetition of the same new routine Arizona suddenly practiced since Callie came back from Miami .

From what Callie observed , Arizona would crawl into the bed with her but left after an hour or at least after she thought that Callie had fallen into a deep sleep . The Latina knew just how the depth of the mattress would be if Arizona was lying next to her , her lover smell or the calming warmth breath on her hair flew in and out when Arizona fell asleep facing against her back . And tonight , Callie only made it look like as if she was already asleep . But actually , she wasn't .

Oh , just how she missed cuddling with the blonde at night ..

They hadn't talk much after Callie returned from Miami and after Arizona came back from Baltimore . Correction , the blonde didn't talk much no matter how hard the brunette came up with some stuffs for them to talk about together . Arizona seemed to be in her own world while Callie had been trying so hard to read the mysterious mind of the blue eyes beauty .

And to be honest , Callie was scared . Scared of the way Arizona acted . The blonde had become stoic again .. even more quiter and detached than the Arizona she knew at the beginning of their relationship . Arizona's mind was impossible to read when they first started their relationship . And it started to happen again now .

And why was that ?

Callie tried to find where and when it all went wrong .. But she just failed . And all the silence from the blonde was making it hard even more for Callie to figure it out . The only one clue that she sense was the fact that they both had been drifted apart after the Miami trip .

Callie had been busy , spending most of her time lately to finally got herself catching up with her family but Arizona ? What really happened to Arizona during that time ? What was separating them ? What was the reason Arizona put up a wall against them both ?

Most importantly , what was really happening ?

Were they fighting now without actually fighting ? Without vocalizing it out loud ?

Callie got herself out of the bed , making her way to the living room . There was no sight of Arizona . The entire living room was quiet but Callie could hear the small voices of the bodyguards chatting .. probably they were in the office .

The Latina stood in the dark , facing the glass window that revealed the view of Seattle city at night . She used to be fascinated by the scenic view but tonight was different . She just stared at them blankly .


Arizona stood alone in the elevator , her back was pressed against the cold metal . Her eyes were trained on the digit that kept changing as the elevator went up uninterrupted by any other late night visitors .

She glanced at the watch on her wrist , it was almost 3AM . Nobody would ride up the elevator except Arizona .. for these past few days .

The elevator ding and the door opened , revealing the front side of the penthouse . It was dark , nobody was up at this hour except for the bodyguards .. at least that was what Arizona thought .

Arizona kicked away her shoes , almost stumbling while doing so as the alcohol she had consumed at the nearby bar started to take control of her body and her rational mind .

The blonde tried to focus her eyes on the staircase as she walked into the living room but the stairs seemed to be far away that she decided to crash on the sofa for tonight .

As she desperately searched for the sofa in the dark , a pair of eyes were watching her silently . At this point , Arizona was still unaware of Callie's presence in the living room . She just needed to lay down first . Her head was buzzing crazily . She wasn't a drinker . Sure , she drank here and there but the extra amount glasses of heavy liquor she have had ? It wasn't a good combination , especially adding up the shitty mood she always had nowadays .

"Arizona ! Just where have you been ?" Callie's forehead wrinkled as the strong smell of alcohol began to explore her nostrils . "I was worried ."

Arizona half drunkenly threw her body on the sofa . She rubbed her eyes repeatedly with her palm when she heard Callie's voice . Squinting her eyes toward the brunette to made sure she wasn't imagining things , she ended up laughing hysterically in the dark . The statement from the last sentence Callie had just utter to her , it seemed like a sarcasm to her ears .

Callie was staring down at her girlfriend , didn't understand such response from Arizona .

"Sorry ." Arizona snorted as the laugh stopped . "I .. I just cannot tell it if you were genuinely care about me or just simply .. fayyyyyyking it . Like you always did ."

"You are drunk ." Callie stated .

"Maybe I am .. Drunk ! But now I have learnt that .. there's no such things as drinking excessively to drown away the sorrow . Why do I feel like it is still aching in my whole body ? Why ? Why do I still feel too deep for the betrayal ? The betrayal that you have packed up all for me , waiting to be delivered to me ." Arizona laughed . "Will you watch me from far when I unwrap your special gift to me ? I know it will fully consist of our fake memories ."

"What are you talking about ? Betrayal ? Fake memories ?"

"Have I ever told you that .. you would make a great actress ?"

"Let's .. just go upstairs . I will put you in the bed . We will talk tomorrow about this when you are not drunk ." Callie shook her head , extending her hand toward Arizona .

"I may be drunk but you are DELUSIONAL , Calliopeyyy Iphegenia Torresss !" Arizona screamed into the night , slapping away the Latina's helping hand . "I fucking hate you . You are fake . FAKE !"

"Nuh - uhh ." Callie was having none of it and was obviously oblivious to the honesty in Arizona's statement . "I will put you under the shower and make you a cup of coffee or even slap you in the face as I will not take any more craps coming out from your mouth , Miss Robbins ."

"Liar !" Arizona on instant shouted right at Callie's face . "Why are you even still here ? Just leave me aloneeee ."

"What is wrong with you ?" Callie asked in higher voice . She had met Funny Drunken Arizona the other day in New York but to compare it to the now Aggressive Angry Drunken Arizona ? This one wasn't a pleasant experience at all . But when you loved someone , you gotta accept their bad sides too .. Ain't that right ? Callie was still trying to be patient with the blonde eventhough drunk Arizona had started to get on her nerves .

"You ! You are wrong . We are wrong . Everything is wrong . This is all isn't real . We aren't real !" Arizona pointed her index finger to Callie . "Just say it , Callie . Say it . That you will soon leave me alone . I know all about your plans . I know that I am just one of your another basket cases ."

"Is everything all right ?" A voice appeared from the other side of the living room . Their bodyguards were standing there . They didn't mean to disturb whatever was happening right now but the screaming and yelling , they just couldn't ignore but to came out and made sure that everything was okay .

Arizona turned her head toward the voice . "Great . You made a scene . We have audiences now ." She stood up in haste , drunkenly leaving the room .

And the bodyguards ? They just awkwardly watched the scene unfold in front of them

"How come I was the one that made a scene ?" Callie shot back to the blonde that now had her back against the Latina .

"Fuck it !" Arizona snorted angrily , looking back at the brunette but never stopped her track .

Bammmm ! Suddenly a loud noise filled the dark living room .

"Arizona !" Callie exclaimed , eyes widen as she saw Arizona had fallen down onto the floor after hitting her head against the hard wall . "Oh my god !" She rushed to the blonde , followed by the other two bodyguards .

"Arizona ?" With no response coming from the woman that was now in her arm , Callie panicked . "Arizona ?"

"Please do something ! Don't just stand there ." Callie yelled to the men .

Don't cut me down

Throw me out

Leave me here to waste

I once was a girl with dignity and grace

But now I'm slipping through the cracks of your cold embrace ..


A/N : I know it is such a short chapter and it has been months since the last time I updated this story . And no , I am not giving up on this story . Life just happens , works get in the way . By the way , next chapter is halfway written already but no promise when it will be published because right now I either write excessively or I write nothing at all , HAHA .

I would like to end this update with a question that at some point of our lives we already asked to ourselves ..

"Why do we always wanted the thing/person we cannot have ?"


Saturday

20th April 2019

0230HRS