26. Daughters of Elysium.
Necessity is the mother of invention, and laziness the father.
Shinji sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Let me get this straight – Ayanami caught her fingernail on the grater, and while you were helping her get it free, you skinned two of your own fingers?"
"Three." I held up the bleeding digits in question. "But Rei is … disentangled."
He gave me a quelling look. "Yeah, minus half her nail."
Rei was examining her own finger; a spot of blood welled at the tip where the nail had been torn away from the pad, and splashed onto the countertop of her kitchen. "I have a grater here, but I've never used it before."
I pressed on my knuckles with the other hand, but the sting sharpened intensely from a combination of pressure, onion juice (my work), and flaked ginger (Rei's).
Shinji marched us both over to the sink, and despite his exasperation was nothing but gentle as he rinsed our scrapes under the tap. "This is why I use a packet mix for katsu curry."
"Cheating," I said, and he flicked water at my face.
While Rei and I patched each other's hurts, Shinji took over the more dangerous tasks of the meal preparation ("I might trust one of you to press the tofu later…").
As I held Rei's hand steady to apply an adhesive bandage, she gave no indication of bracing herself. The perception occurred to me that this was not due to the triviality of the injury.
"You didn't … flinch," I commented. "You thought the treatment … would hurt you … but did not flinch."
"What would be the point?"
I stared at her as she in turn attended to my own cuts, her ministrations careful to the point of tenderness.
She looked up to meet my gaze. "Am I causing you pain?"
"No."
"But you have tears in your eyes."
How to explain that her casual lack of self-regard, the absence of a self-preservation reflex all but ubiquitous to her form of life, had devastated me?
Clumsily I put forth my uninjured hand, and she recognised the request and placed both her own atop it.
"Your comfort – is valuable," I said, "and your pain – unacceptable."
"Nagisa?" Her voice was whisper-quiet.
"You deserve … to not suffer. My path … is for Shinji's happiness, but … for yours also."
The block in my throat and mind, which had been getting better in the ten days since Berlin (and after Unit 09's own neck had been repaired), suddenly returned to strangle me. Frustrated with myself, I stood jerkily, and now Rei did flinch; apologetically I set a gentle hand on her forearm. I forced myself to only slow and smooth movement as I collected a pad of paper and pen.
During Third Impact, I wrote, and though visibly confused Rei did not peek at the paper or show impatience, Shinji and I were shown a vision of an alternate reality, one without Angels or Evangelions. In it, you and I were siblings – you were Rei Nagisa. This possibility made me very happy. Even though we are not siblings in this world, I believe I understand 'family' through my feelings for you.
I passed the paper over, and as she read, surprise bloomed on her face. After a moment, she took my pen in a trembling hand. On a fresh sheet she copied Rei Nagisa (her kanji much neater than mine), then added beside it Kaworu Ayanami.
My laugh was silent, but no less joyous for it.
There was a knock at the door, and I was reminded that, among Rei's home-improvement works, we had not yet gotten around to fixing her door buzzer, only the lock.
She folded the paper bearing our alternate names into the pocket of her skirt and crossed to the entrance.
At the door stood Commander Fuyutsuki, who smiled warmly at her. "Hello, Rei. May I come in?"
"Yes, sir," she said, with no more than her usual stiff reticence, and stood aside to let him pass.
He stopped short in the entrance on seeing Shinji and I. "I didn't realise I was interrupting."
"Oh – no, sorry for our intrusion," said Shinji (even though we had been here first). "Um, we can go? If it'd be better…"
Fuyutsuki waved a dismissal. "It's fine, don't let me disturb you."
My eyes had been caught by the motion of his hand, and it was only with difficulty that I forced them away. "Pretend we are … not here."
Shinji picked up the recipe book we had been referring to and examined it closely, as though deliberately blocking ourselves from the Commander's notice.
"Would you like tea?" Rei offered.
"Thank you, but I just stopped in to give you this." From the inner pocket of his jacket he withdrew a slim, flat case of dark leather and handed it to her.
She opened it, and her expression changed from mild bemusement to surprise. "What…?"
"It's a tie clip," he explained, "but it can also hold a ribbon like your school uniform bow."
Rei lifted from the case a slender bar of shining metal, enamelled with dark tracery. "…Why?"
Shinji had apparently not been as withdrawn as he had pretended. "That's my mum's!"
Rei and I looked at him in shock, but Fuyutsuki nodded.
"I'm impressed you recognised it, Shinji – Yui gave it to me a long time ago, after I joined her and your father working at Gehirn."
His smile was sad as he regarded Shinji, then Rei. "Yui Ikari was the most creative scientist, and the boldest person, I've ever known. She had such hope for humankind's potential – to better our world, to understand each other, to solve the struggles and conundrums of existence. I've seen that hope growing in you, Rei – you're becoming a thoughtful and brave young woman, and I'm proud to be your guardian.
"And Shinji," he added, almost as an aside, "I know Yui would be proud of you, too, for everything you've done protecting this world that she believed in."
Shinji swallowed heavily, stunned. "Th-thank you, sir."
"Thank you, Commander," Rei whispered. Her face was flushed, and she gripped the tie clip tightly.
Fuyutsuki reached his hand out to her, and a twinge in my centre froze me. The entire world seemed reduced to his white-gloved palm on her shoulder.
A piercing bell rang through the room, and the Commander snatched up his mobile phone. "An alert at NERV," as he answered, "—What is it, Leiutenant?" A tense moment. "How far? How soon? …Understood. I have all three pilots with me, we'll be there in ten. Prep the Evas for launch."
"An attack?" Shinji blurted.
"Incoming. Let's go – my car is downstairs."
We hurried from the apartment; the Commander walked briskly, but Shinji and I left him behind as we reached the stairs, and Rei hung back beside him.
"Sir," she said in a voice too low for another human to overhear. "If I am to unite with Adam…"
"'If'?"
"…I choose Nagisa."
I stumbled; Shinji caught my arm in support, unaware of the cause, and we dashed onward. I strained my ears for Fuyutsuki's reply.
It was surprisingly gentle. "That will not accomplish your hope, I'm afraid. His bio-impetus is at odds with those of us Lilim, regardless of his sympathies – or of yours. And as a mere construct, his potential is limited anyway. I'm sorry, Rei."
She made no response, and remained quiet as we left the stairwell on the ground floor and reached the Commander's car.
I lingered as Shinji and Fuyutsuki got in, ostensibly to allow Rei to be seated before me, but as she passed in front I whispered in her ear, "I would choose you, too."
She froze, eyes wide on me, but before she could speak the driver called, "Come on, miss!", and she recovered herself and ducked into the backseat.
We took off for NERV headquarters, using bypass and priority lanes, and reaching speeds such that the rear passengers were thrown against our seatbelts at every turn. I could see Commander Fuyutsuki bracing himself, and the ferocity of his right hand's grip resonated in my marrow.
My focus was disrupted as we approached the last bridge before the Geofront entry, where the lake emptied into the river – a shadow swept over us, before a sun-bright explosion erupted ahead.
—Colossal noise—
—the earth rocked—
Our car was hurled over, rolled violently – two, three times, before coming to rest on its roof.
Stillness; shock; dizzy, horrendous silence.
Every … cell … hurting.
I forced my eyes open. The world spun. Closed them again, tried a steadying breath. Ribs protesting.
A rasping vice from nearby: "Is anyone … alright?" (Someone I knew; could not concentrate enough to identify…)
"Ughhh…" A different voice, deeper, even more strained. "Rei?"
"Ayanami!" the first voice gasped. "Kaworu?"
—That was me, my name. Only one person spoke my name so warmly. "Shinji?"
I opened my eyes again, and this time when the world tried to slide sickly away I waited it out, and at length was able to resolve my surroundings.
The car ceiling was below me; I hung from my seatbelt – it cut harshly into my thighs and the side of my neck. Orange light flickered the interior into view.
The driver slumped motionless. Commander Fuyutsuki, dangling, slowly turned his head, blood oozing along his jawline and dripping from his nose. Across from me Shinji struggled to free himself, eventually crumpled to the ceiling-floor. Righted himself slowly, painfully, and touched Rei's face.
She did not stir. Her hands laid slack below her head and a sliver of white showed between her eyelids.
"Ayanami," Shinji whispered brokenly. It was unclear whether his injuries or his concern for her caused him more pain.
My meandering, uncooperative hand sought her neck; an agonising effort of concentration, and I had her pulse point.
"Faint," I reported, "but steady."
Shinji's exhalation of relief sagged him to his elbows and knees.
A beep from the front seat. "Emergency assistance to my location," grated Fuyutsuki. "Medical and engineering-rescue. At once."
As he spoke, I managed to release my own seatbelt, remembering to put an arm out to cushion and direct my fall. A groan escaped me with the impact and for a moment I was stunned to aching paralysis.
"Kaworu?" Shinji said groggily. "You're hurt?"
"Battered – shaken – not critical," I replied. "You?"
"Same," he said, and threw up.
The smell of bile and vomit mingled with blood, petrol, and acrid smoke, and I thought I might join him.
"Rei," muttered the Commander again, but then coherence strengthened his voice to address us urgently. "Don't move her – she may have a spinal injury."
"How long until the ambulance gets here?" Shinji asked. "She shouldn't stay like this…"
"Soon," he promised. "Soon…"
With difficulty, I shifted around to face the door and jiggled the handle. It turned, and the mechanism released, but the crumpled frame barely budged. I braced myself between the back and driver seats, and shoved with one foot. On the fourth attempt it buckled open, scraping across the asphalt, and I dragged myself out.
The Commander's car lay upside-down across the road, leaking oil and heavy smoke. The bridge ahead shattered over the water, broken off at the deepest point of its span.
And in the sky above circled a white Evangelion.
As I watched, several points of light arced up towards it, trailing cloudy lines; they made impact with bright firebursts, but the Evangelion did not flinch. It raised a launcher – the muzzle flashed – a second later the far side of the lake sprouted pillars of seething flame.
Even from this distance, the whine-crump reverberated in my bones.
For a moment I quailed against the ground, face dropped to my forearms, until stirred by the grind of metal behind me. I sat up and turned, to see the glass of the passenger rear window shatter.
Shinji's arm emerged, scraped raw and bloody to the elbow, and he fumbled with the latch on the outside. But the door would not open, jammed in its bent frame.
My torso snarled pain when I attempted to stand, so I crawled over to him. I leant against the side of the car, and from a recline was able to line up a kick to the bulge in the door edge. Bruised core muscles protested as though they were being punched, and darkness swam before my eyes, but the door bounced ajar. Shinji and I – each of us weak, but strong enough together – worked it further open, and he spilled out onto the road.
"Shinji," I murmured. "Shinji, you are hurt…" I knelt beside him, touched his face and hand.
"I'm okay," he insisted through gritted teeth, "just … gotta rest a bit…"
The wail of ambulance sirens cut through the haze, and as Shinji and I collected ourselves two units barrelled up and screeched to a halt beside the wreck. A firetruck was close behind.
Paramedics emerged, brisk but orderly, and while most of them attended the car, a pair approached Shinji and I.
"We're fine," Shinji disclaimed promptly, and in defiance of the obvious; "please, just help Ayanami and the others."
"Three people – trapped in the car," I managed, even as one of the paramedics took my shoulders and began to check me over.
Shinji had forced himself upright, and batted away his own attendant medico, but when he attempted to stand his leg buckled and he collapsed with a cry.
"Shinji!" I gasped. "Stop moving!"
"You – first," he panted, and I realised I had made it to my own feet in a burst of adrenaline, driven by concern for him. It promptly dissipated, and I sagged against the car.
Red light washed over us, and I forced my neck to turn towards the source.
The Evangelion had landed – I judged it to be directly above headquarters – and was wielding its AT field to cut through the drone aircraft harrying it; they bloomed into fireballs or shattered in fragments.
But with its stationing, I could now identify the enemy.
Unit 06, of Berlin.
"Asuka!"
"What?" Shinji gasped. "No! No – no – it's not true! I won't believe Asuka's attacking us – it's not true!"
"She wouldn't," I said numbly. "She would never—"
"Surface access to the Geofront has been cut off at all points," came Commander Fuyutsuki's voice, and we turned to see him sitting beside the overturned car. A back brace was being fitted around him, and a paramedic tried to press an oxygen mask to his face, but he turned aside. In his right hand he held a communicator, apparently from the ambulance.
I found myself staring at his hand again; the white glove was stained with blood and dirt, and it twitched under my gaze.
"The Eva's operator know exactly where to strike," he continued, "even the secret entrances, and the anti-Angel intercept systems. It could only have been through inside intel." He looked across the lake, defeated. "And now none of the Tokyo-3 pilots can reach their Evas."
I followed his gaze; Unit 06 had half-disappeared as it began to systematically break through the armoured layers above the Geofront. With no viable opposition, it could take its time.
Then I heard myself say, "So bring the Evas to us."
"To us?" Shinji repeated. "Here?"
Fuyutsuki argued, "There's no above-ground linear rail terminus nearby – and Unit 06 would notice and attack you before you could board."
"We could … use cover fire!" Shinji suggested.
"Radar and telemetry would give it away."
I pointed to the depths below my feet. "Underwater exit – near the river mouth."
He scoffed. "Yes, thirty metres below the surface."
"I can reach it."
"Impossible!"
"No," broke in Rei's quiet voice, and the three of us whirled.
She lay near the car, strapped onto a back board, her eyes half-closed.
"Ayanami!" cried Shinji, and struggled over to her, brushing off the paramedics' attempts to hold him still. Eventually they gave up, and supported him as he knelt at her side. "Are you okay?"
"Rei, don't exert yourself," said Fuyutsuki. "Just rest—"
"Nagisa can reach the Eva if it is in the lake, below the bridge," Rei said, and Shinji turned a confused look on me. "Launch it here."
"Rei—" the Commander began.
"Please," she interrupted him. "Trust me, Professor."
He stiffened, and for a moment was very still.
Then a shaking breath: "All right."
Rei's eyes slid closed, but her hand returned Shinji's hold. "Good."
Fuyutsuki spoke into his communicator. "Launch Unit 09 – no, the transport fittings – launch Unit 02, lake edge exit E-5. Half speed only – position it directly below the road overpass."
I pushed off the car and stood, wavering, on my own feet; at the Commander's directive, and clearly against their better judgement, the paramedics hung back. Gracelessly I stumbled across to the bridge railing and regarded the clear-blue depths below. Shock and disorientation were fading, but most of my body, inside and out, seemed to be a single brutal bruise. Swimming, even – or especially – straight down, would not be an easy task.
Debris from the explosion had been scattered all around, and I searched until I found a likely-looking piece of riveted iron. Lifting it onto the railing made my back spasm briefly, and I had to pause to ride it out and catch my breath.
A wave surged through the lake beneath my feet, and through the watery haze I saw Unit 02 slide into view, face-down, expectant.
A glance ahead showed Unit 06 still busy, almost gone from view, and I took a deep breath. The surface was not far beneath me, but instinct did not relent so easily that I could face the drop fearlessly.
"Kaworu!" called Shinji.
I turned, the iron piece under my hands, ready to tip.
"I don't understand," he said. His face was twisted in fear for me. "How is it possible? It's too far, too deep – you'll drown!"
"It will be … all right. I – can't explain right now – please … trust me?"
"I – I trust you," he admitted. "Please come back safe, okay? And – and bring Asuka too."
It was easy to smile for him. "With all … my strength."
I pushed the iron piece into the water, and hanging on was dragged down with it.
Panic stormed through me as water closed over my head and I plummeted downward; every reflex screamed to let go and make for the surface, but I hung on grimly.
I closed my eyes, thought back to the day at the pool with Rei, focused on the peaceful unity of our swim and summoned it with the entire fibre of my will … then opened my lungs.
And breathed.
Water within and without, breathed.
I opened my eyes. Unit 02 was below me, face down on the lake bed, approaching rapidly. A series of painful kicks angled my descent towards the entry plug, and only at the last minute did I need to let go my ballast and struggle the final few horizontal metres; without air in my lungs, my buoyancy was low enough that I was not drawn upwards again, and could focus on approaching the external controls.
While the plug spiralled outward I hovered momentarily, and directed grateful thoughts towards Rei. Her gift, that beautiful day, had made this possible.
We will fly together, my sister.
Once boarded, and water exchanged for LCL (more intuitive than the usual transition from air), I activated the Evangelion, sighing with relief as my injuries were muffled by awareness of her physiology.
# Unit 02 is active! # came Lt Ibuki's exclamation over the comms – apparently the bridge crew had already been at HQ, or had gotten below before access was cut off to the Geofront. # Kaworu, are you okay? All set? #
"Hello, everyone," I replied. "Yes – ready to sortie."
# Charge port 63-F is closest, to your north-east, # advised Lt Hyuga. # One hundred seconds of power currently remaining. #
"Noted," I said, and then, mostly to myself, "Here goes…"
Kyoko's tension thrummed in my soul, and I ran my hands over the trigger guards. - You know she's there, don't you? Don't worry – we'll save her. -
I moved easily along the lake bed – half crawling, half drifting – to the charge point, and was able to remain stooped low as Unit 02 broke the surface and connected the umbilical cable.
Only then did we stand up in the lake and expand the Evangelion's AT field to maximum. I felt the force of Unit 06's awareness like a flare.
# Kaworu, be careful, # came Dr Akagi's voice. # Berlin evidently has intel on our setup, and of Unit 02's combat specs. #
"Understood," I said, but my thoughts were on Kommandant Heisenberg's words during our meeting. "Unit 06 isn't where her heart truly lies…"
A plan began to form in the back of my mind.
# Kaworu, we're sending the repeater crossbow to C-03, # said Lt Aoba, as Unit 06 crouched, wings high.
"Roger," I said, and set Unit 02 in that direction. "What weapons is Unit 06 carrying?"
But my question was answered when the other Evangelion sprang into the air, wings beating, and while the rocket launcher it had been using fell to the ground, from between its shoulder blades it drew the facsimile Lance of Longinus taken from Unit 10.
Unit 02's steps faltered. My breath caught; nervous memory screeched strangulation in my throat. Within me, Adam's soul shrank and withered.
"No," I hissed. "No, you won't hurt us again. You won't stop me – I'm coming for her."
Unit 06 gained altitude, angling to put the sun behind it, but with a snarl to dispel my fear I grabbed the crossbow and fired ahead of it, forcing a swerve – we were close enough that our AT fields cancelled each other, and it could not risk a wing hit.
I shot again, and again, herding it away from the opportune point. The crossbow was difficult to fire single-handedly, but as its bolts were depleted I managed it enough to reach the next armoury, and take a new quiver to reload.
But there was enough delay that Unit 06 could take a holding hover, and hurl its Lance directly.
In the second before it reached me, as I identified its trajectory, I whispered a desperate hope that I had not misjudged, and threw Unit 02 into an evasive roll.
The Lance struck in Unit 02's abdomen, in the arch of a curved armour piece, to all appearances impaling my Evangelion through the gut. There was enough superficial contact – and nauseating paralysis in the impact point – that a ragged cry burst from me that was not pretence.
# Unit 02 is caught # gasped Ibuki. # Damage is – wait, what? #
# No significant damage! # reported Aoba. # Unit 06 – missed? #
"It wasn't – aiming for – anything vital," I said, and a fierce thrill ran through me. "She's fighting it."
# Fighting it? # repeated Hyuga. # You're saying Asuka is fighting Unit 06 for control? #
"It could have hit the Commander's car directly … kill him, all the pilots … it only took out the bridge. It – manually attack Geofront armour, instead of – weaponising the Lance … as a bunker-buster."
# It can do that? # he muttered.
"Unit 06 – is sabotaging its own assault – Asuka's still in there, somewhere! It hasn't hijacked her completely!" Elation, and desperate hope, made my voice shake. "I can still reach her!"
# You can't know that, # cautioned Dr Akagi. # I know it's what we all want to believe, but Kaworu, you can't risk it – Unit 06 will kill you! #
"I won't abandon my friend," I said stubbornly, and took hold of the Lance. (Adam screeched in revulsion, remembering four billion years of enforced stasis, but I ignored them.) By loosening the piece of armour in which it was concealed, I had the weapon ready to wield even as Unit 06 stooped on me.
Out of the glaring sun my enemy plunged, like a falcon on a mouse.
Unit 02's posture was one of apparent collapse, but with the subtlest turn and twist it became a battle stance, and in the space of a heartbeat I jettisoned the camouflaging armour and swung the freed Lance around in a massive, unavoidable arc.
It caught Unit 06 broadside and slammed it to the ground.
# Why didn't he stab? # someone on the comms groaned.
# Kaworu, there's no time for mercy! # Akagi snapped. # Unit 06 has to be defeated – you're our only defence! #
I hefted the Lance again, and my head rang with Adam's protest – but their voice was then eclipsed, by Unit 02 herself.
- my liebchen, my darling, - Kyoko cried, - come home, please come home! - Her fear flamed into fury – at me. - jange – bengel – don't you dare hurt her! - Her will turned against me and my Evangelion froze.
"I won't," I said desperately. "We have to stop her Eva to reach her."
- don't hurt her! - Kyoko howled.
While we hesitated Unit 06 had recovered itself, and my window of opportunity was disappearing. Frantically I wrenched control from Kyoko and threw the Lance, aiming between the wings and spine to immobilise, but with the interference it missed. The Lance sank into the ground beyond my opponent.
"Damn!"
I scrambled after the lost weapon, while Unit 06 used its wings to launch itself in the same direction. We reached the Lance at the same time – both grabbed hold, and both struggled to wrest it from the other. Unit 06's wings alternated between bracing it against the ground and buffeting Unit 02 about the head, but I hung on grimly.
Then suddenly the Lance bulged – distorted – changed shape, and my hands clutched a razor-sharp blade as it reverted to sword-form.
The edge went through all ten digits like butter. I screamed.
Unit 06 wrangled the sword to itself – the transformation had placed its own grip on the handle – and readied to strike.
But at the back of a mind blank with pain and terror, my plan crystallised.
I threw myself at Unit 06 – it had to time to point the weapon, and the sword was trapped between us. The edge bit into both sets of chest armour, deeper and deeper as I clung with all my strength, until it touched each Evangelion's core.
I punched my synchronisation ratio so high, so fast, that the world blurred – and the trebled agony of Unit 02's injuries ripped lightning through my every nerve – and at my summons, Kyoko screamed for her daughter.
Tokyo-3 vanished.
Blank, glaring white was everywhere, and everything.
Stillness, and quiet, and … peace.
The white light flickered, wavered, softened.
…The sun. The gentle spring sun.
I had eyes again with which to blink, and when they opened they found a golden sunflower glowing before me. Its face, larger than my own, filled my entire field of vision.
"Hello," I said, and it nodded in response. "…You can hear me?"
A bright laugh, and the flower drew back to reveal behind it a woman with pale hair.
"Silly," she smiled, and with her hand pushed the flower forward again to bump against my nose.
I giggled, and agreed, "Silly."
The woman got to her feet and extended a hand to me. "Shall we go, little one?"
I accepted her help to stand up – my arms, and legs when they came in view, were stubby and plump, and my full height only brought me to her waist. "Where are we going, Frau?"
"We're going to find my daughter. She's lost in this field of sunflowers. Will you help me, Jüngchen?"
"Of course!" I replied, and we started walking – my short legs taking two steps to every one of hers. "What's your daughter's name? Can I be her friend?"
"Her name is Asuka," the woman said, and my child's heart still glimpsed the scope of love in that name. "She's about your age, so maybe she will be your friend – let's ask her!"
"Yay!" I skipped beside her, swinging her hand in my much-smaller own. "Asuka. What a nice name! Where are you, Asuka? Come and play!"
"Asuka!" called her mother. "Where are you, Liebchen? Can you find Mama?"
We paused to listen, and for a moment the only noise was the rustle of sunflowers all around us. They were so tall – far above my head – and even my companion, a fully-grown adult, could not peer over the top of them.
Then, faintly, a plaintive cry. "Mama!"
We turned towards the sound. "Asuka!"
Hand-in-hand we rushed through the dizzying maze. Sunflowers swayed and sprang back at our passage.
There, ahead of us, seated on a check-fabric picnic rug, a figure in a red dress, red hair—
"Asuka!"
But the figure turned to us, and its face was a doll, with button eyes and stitched smile.
"Mama!" The voice was muffled. Curling-yarn hair swung as the plush head bobbed.
"She's inside!" I gasped, and horror drove tears to my eyes.
"Let her go," said the woman firmly to the doll. "Let my little girl go."
The doll chuckled, and I realised it wasn't shorter than me, but taller, and growing taller still. It was the height of the sunflowers – the height of a house – of a tree – a mountain – the world—
It bent down, and reached a plush, massive hand towards us.
- play with me. -
I cried out and hid behind my companion's legs. "Scary!"
Frau's hand gripped mine fiercely, but her voice did not waver. "Let my daughter go."
- i am playing with her. i will play with you, too. forever. -
"Asuka!" called the woman. "Can you hear me?"
"Mama…" So faint, so weak, so lost…!
"Liebchen, I'm here. I'll always be here. Always watching over you, always in your heart – as you are in mine."
The behemoth doll creaked its stitch mouth open. - i'm hungry. is it snack time?-
Its gaping maw descended on us; I screamed and shut my eyes, but Asuka's mother did not flinch.
"Asuka," she said lovingly, "come home."
The doll froze.
"Mama!"
There was a muffled thunderclap, and fabric and stuffing rained down.
Where the behemoth doll had been, in the midst of the field of sunflowers, sat a little girl.
She looked up at us, tears trickling down her cheeks, and hiccupped a sob. "Mama?"
"Asuka!" The woman flew over to her, arms embracing and cradling. "Liebchen, you did it!"
Asuka sniffled and clung to her mother. "It was going to hurt you. Naughty! Nobody hurts my Mama!"
"My treasure, my little girl. You've been so brave, so strong." Only now did the woman's voice waver. "You're safe now. Safe with me."
I shifted where I stood, and a dry leaf crunched beneath my feet.
Asuka snapped a glare at me. "Who's that?"
I waved awkwardly.
"He's here to help you home," said her mother. She held out a hand to me, and I toddled over to join them. "Now what do we do next, Jüngchen?"
"Um … we … we take out the pins," I said.
"Pins?" Asuka echoed.
"Here…" Carefully I reached out and touched the back of her hand, and a bobby pin appeared and fell to the earth, where it turned to dust.
"Ahck! That was in me?" Her face scrunched with disgust. "From when I was in the doll?"
"There's lots of them," I said. "Here, and here – all over—" More pins, needles, and staples sprang free at my touch and disintegrated.
"No, I don't want them in me!" she wailed, tears spilling from her eyes.
"It will be all right, Liebchen," her mother soothed, stroking her hair tenderly. "He'll take all the bad pins away, and you'll be free."
"Nearly done," I said cheerfully, but my steady work faltered at the final. "Um … nearly…"
"Asuka, will you please help us with the last one?" her mother asked.
"It's not like the others!" I exclaimed.
"Yes," the woman agreed. "This one was the centre of the doll."
"But I already beat the doll," Asuka complained. "I made it go away."
"You did," her mother said, "and I'm so proud of you. This last pin – this pain – is deep in your heart, so it's trickier."
Asuka pouted. "Fine. In my … heart." As she focused inward the hurt in her eyes deepened, soul-struck, but she lifted her chin stubbornly. "I – I've got it. I've got it! Urrgh!"
In a moment she changed – no longer a tiny child, but taller – expression not petulant, but fierce – clad not in a knit shift but a silver-and-gold plugsuit that, before our eyes, shed dozens of tubes and wires, breaking free of their strangling contamination. A mask was briefly visible on her face, before dissolving.
Asuka – the Asuka that I knew, the teenage pilot and friend – gave a heartrending cry as her bonds dissipated. "Mama!"
The woman with pale hair was already fading from our view, but leant forward and pressed a kiss to her daughter's forehead. "Asuka, Liebchen, thank you for finding me."
"I understand now, Mama," Asuka sobbed. "I understand – you never chose to leave me. You never wanted to hurt me. The person who did – that wasn't you. You were always here, watching over me, protecting me. Always in my heart – you're my own AT field. My own Mama."
"I always will be, my darling."
And though her image was gone, Kyoko's presence remained, as Asuka and I together found ourselves once more in Unit 02's entry plug.
Asuka drew a shaking breath. She was curled up in the pilot's seat with me, arms around herself in a wistful echo of her mother's embrace. My own arms cradled her shoulders, my chin resting on her crown, the contentment in my heart outweighing all pain and fear.
"I guess you do have your uses…" Asuka muttered into my shoulder.
I started to reply, smiling, but was forestalled as she lifted her head.
"…'Tabris'."
It had been easier breathing underwater.
"…How?" My voice was all but soundless.
"You saw into my soul, my memory of picnics with Mama in the sunflower field. Well, a door opens both ways."
I was frozen, in body and mind; I wanted to explain, to account, to defend myself, but was paralysed; I was a wordless and silent scream.
"The Angels. Our mortal enemies. Driven to annihilate us all, to destroy and erase us. The incompatible opposite of humanity."
All she said was true; all I could think of was her torture by my siblings. No apology could ever suffice.
"…And you decided you'd rather ride Stupid-Shinji's baloney pony."
…What.
"—Excuse me?"
She burst out laughing. "Oh my god your face!"
"His what—?"
More laughter, no explanations – but the lingering mental share gave me an impression of her metaphor's meaning, and I broke into a coughing fit.
Asuka laughed again, and ruffled my hair ungently. "Ohhh, you're dead Verdamnt meat, Wonderboy. All this time, lying to our faces? Ab – solute – toast." With each emphasis her knuckles dug into my skull.
But her posture remained restful in my hold, and the simmering conflict in her eyes did not harden into horror or hatred. When I winced in shame away from her she relaxed further against me, closing even the possibility of distance.
"And you saved me. You saved us all. You died for us in Third Impact, you big drama queen. And because of you … I found Mama again. She – I – we were so lost, but you helped us find each other."
Her forehead dropped to my shoulder again. "So you're in deep, deep trouble…"
The gentlest hand, cupping my jaw.
"…But I guess it can wait."
