Bella was still in shock, he promised he would never hurt her. Now what?
Bella woke up with a crick in her neck from sleeping on Jacob's lumpy couch. She rubbed her eyes and stretched. She desperately needed a cup of coffee. She headed to the kitchen, got the coffee started, and searched the fridge for anything to make for breakfast. She owed Jacob at the very least a hot meal after he came over in the middle of the night to rescue her from the 'burglar'. He hadn't pressed her on the car ride back to his house. When he got her home, he got her a blanket, tucked her in, and told her "we will talk in the morning."
"MMM," Jacob called from the hallway. "No one ever makes breakfast around here."
"I owe you, Jake," Bella said, as she handed him a cup of coffee.
"Yeah, we gotta talk about that. A burglar in Forks, at the Chief's house?" He questioned, but before Bella could answer the back door swung open.
"Bella?" Billy's boisterous voice broke the tension between Bella and Jacob "What are you doing here so early?"
Jacob threw his hands in the air as Charlie came through the door right behind Billy "She slept on the couch".
"No doubt about that Jake." Charlie laughed. "Oh, breakfast!" Charlie grabbed a plate from the counter.
Everyone sat around the table eating the pancakes and eggs Bella had made.
Billy spoke up, "Not that I don't appreciate all this Bella," motioning to the delicious spread on the table, "but why did you sleep on my couch last night?"
"Well, uh…"
"Someone tried to break into your house last night, Charlie," Jacob answered for her.
"My house?" Charlie asked, eyebrows raised.
"Yeah, I was getting ready for bed and I heard a weird noise at the front door. Um, someone was jiggling the handle." Bella wasn't prepared for the inquisition.
"Wow, and where was that boyfriend of yours?" Charlie asked with a smirk on his face.
"Dad, you said 'no Edward', so I called Jake. He offered to stay on our couch, but I just couldn't sleep. So we came over here." They seem to have bought it. Billy and Charlie tucked back into their breakfast Jacob however was a harder sell. He had seen her face last night. She was sitting on the bottom step sobbing when he came through her front door.
"Thanks for breakfast Bells," Charlie said as he kissed the top of her head, "I need to stop by home and drop off the gear then head to the station for a while, but I'll be home later." Bella stood to start clearing plates
"Jake can do that Bella". Billy said as he stared at Jacob.
"Yeah of course." He said as he crammed one last pancake into his mouth.
Bella and Jacob walked along the beach at La Push.
"Okay, Bella…spill it. What happened last night? What did he do to you?"
"Who?"
"Don't pull this shit Bella! I have known you my entire life. We have always been friends. Edward walks into your life and I don't hear from you for months. Then you call me to come get you in the middle of the night and when I get there you are hysterical. I don't buy the burglar story." He stared her in the eyes. "Did he hurt you?" Bella shook her head. "Bella, I need you to be honest with me, did he bite you?"
"Bite me!" She yells. "What, wh- why would you think that?"
"I know what he is Bella. I can't tell you how I know, but you just have to trust me that I know. He's a blood-sucking vampire."
Bella went pale, how did Jake know that? She started to question.
"Don't even ask me Bella I cannot tell you. I know it's not fair, but I need to know what happened last night."
Bella took a deep breath, she started to cry. It broke Jacob's heart to see her like this. If he had any say about it, that bloodsucker would get his for making her this upset.
"Alright, so he came over last night, even though Charlie told me he wasn't allowed. We were hanging out, and he lost control for just a moment. He had his teeth at my neck, but he stopped himself. Nothing happened. It just scared me."
"Bella, what are you even doing with this guy?" Jacob spat. "He is dead, you know that right? I hope he at least had the decency to tell you what he was before he tried to drink your blood?"
"Yes Jake, he told me months ago."
"What! Bella…,"
"Stop it, Jake, I love him! I just need to talk about this, process it out loud. No judgment, no questioning me. I just need to sort it out and I need you to listen." He stared at her trying to wrap his mind around all of it.
Finally he spoke. "I'm here for you Bells." He put his arm around her and pulled her close for a hug. They talked all afternoon. Bella felt better after unburdening herself to Jacob. He wasn't happy about this situation, but he would stand by her for no other reason than to keep her safe.
It had been three days since Edward had almost killed Bella. Well, sixty-four hours and thirteen minutes. He had picked up the phone a thousand times since he had left her. He needed to talk to her, but he knew she needed some time. He played those moments over and over. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her face. She was horrified, and he couldn't blame her. His phone rang then, startling him from his dark thoughts.
"Edward," her voice was timid. "If you are free this evening I would like to get together so we can talk."
"Of course, I will come over now." He prepared to jump from his window.
"No," she said forcefully. "Later, maybe seven, somewhere public."
"Bella, I don't think this is a conversation we should be having in public".
"I'm not quite ready to see you alone." She hated that she felt that way. He was her Edward, her everything but he had also lost control. While she wanted to repair the relationship it would take some time to build the trust back.
"Name the place," Edward responded defeated. She was scared to be alone with him. He had done this. She was breaking up with him, and she should, and she felt she needed witnesses in case things went south.
"The coffee shop on Forks Ave."
"I will be there", he paused. "I love you, Bella." She had already hung up.
When Bella got to the coffee shop Edward was already there. He sat in the back corner, a mug on the table in front of him. He stood when he saw her come into the shop. He smiled and made a small wave in her direction. Her stomach flipped. She was so nervous.
"Hey," she walked up to his table. He pulled the other chair out for her.
"Can I get you a coffee or tea?" He asked her. Bella saw the pain in his eyes.
"Sure, I appreciate it, tea please." A few minutes later he returned with a hot mug of tea, and placed it down in front of her.
They both spoke at once "I'm not sure where to start."
"Bella I can't even tell you how sorry I am".
"I know you are, Edward." She reached across the table putting her hand on top of his. "I know you are." Her touch felt like fire melting ice. He had missed her so much. Maybe this was a good sign, maybe she wasn't ending things.
"Please Bella, let me start. I know I can't change what happened. If I could I would, but all I can ask is for your forgiveness and a second chance to make it right." Tears filled Bella's eyes, blurring her vision. He cleared his throat, "but I understand if you want to end our relationship."
"Edward, I don't want to break up. I need some time, but I love you. I was shocked and scared that night, but I know I had a part in it too. I mean, I threw myself at you."
"No Bella, I am the one that should have known better. I know my limits and I know I have to hunt before I can be with you. The temptation is just too great." He said as he looked down humiliated. He hated that he still wanted her that way. That his blood lust had won out.
"I have one question, Edward," Bella said, a serious tone to her voice. "Do you love me? I mean really me, not my blood. If you were human or I was a vampire would you still feel the same?" Edward felt like the wind had been knocked out of his chest.
"Bella," he breathed. How could he even explain this to her? He didn't want to traumatize her any more than he already had.
He took a breath, "I am going to try and explain it to you. I don't want to scare you or make you uncomfortable so if it becomes too much please tell me to stop." Bella began to tremble. He had told her a lot of things. How much more could he be hiding from her?
"As you know I have had a lot of time learning how to be around people and not…." He became acutely aware of how not alone there were and how this was a very private conversation. "You know," Bella nodded, as she looked around the crowded coffee shop.
He started fiddling with the napkin under his mug, not wanting to meet her eyes. He continued "When I met you in Biology there was an instant attraction. I couldn't stop thinking about you, Bella…just you. When we got closer and things started to get intimate..." He paused and felt her gaze on him. He met her eyes, a small smile crept across his face. He turned his attention back to his napkin. "That was something I didn't have any practice at but I knew I had to stay in control at all times. I could not let my guard down for even one second. We were making it work, I think until that night." The image of her face flashed in his mind again. She saw the pain on his face and reached across the table again to give his hand a small squeeze.
"That night, I should have hunted. I know that, and then when I came through your window and saw your…outfit." Bella blushed a deep shade of red. "And you took control as I had never seen you before. While I liked it very much it made it that much harder to keep my instincts at bay." Bella shook her head because she understood.
"It's hard to explain…my desire for you physically, gets twisted up with my desire for your blood. They are so intertwined." He felt so embarrassed having to admit this to her. " So when I tasted your blood, whatever part of me is still human lost the fight with the side of me that's not." His head hung in shame.
Bella wiped tears from her eyes. Why hadn't he told her this months ago? She knew he struggled when things moved too fast, but she had no idea that he felt this ashamed.
Bella was quiet for a long time, trying to wrap her head and her heart around the things he had told her. She finally spoke "I don't want you to feel like this Edward. How can I make it easier for you?"
"I just need to be stronger, fight back that part of me. I know this can never happen again."
"It won't. Now that I know what it's really like for you, I will be more careful. Please if you need to hunt before you come over, just tell me. I understand. I just need you to be open and honest with me. Okay?"
"Deal." He reached for her hand this time and she let him take it.
"I told Charlie I wouldn't be late, school tomorrow." She said as she stood. He joined her and they walked out of the coffee shop together. Once they made it to her truck, Edward opened the door for her and helped her in.
"Bella, thanks for calling. I'm glad we could talk."
"Me too," she raised her head to kiss his cheek.
Edward drove home. As he pulled into the driveway, Alice was waiting on the front steps.
"Hey brother," she called. "How did it go?" Edward sat down beside her.
"Good, we talked a lot of things out. Well, I talked a lot. I finally decided to be honest with her."
"Edward, that's great. Trust her, she can handle more than you give her credit for. She's tough and she loves you." Alice stood and hugged Edward's shoulders. "Don't stay out here all night."
"I won't," Edward laid back on the porch. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. A few minutes later he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was Bella
"Good night Edward, I love you." He returned the text "I love you too."
