Sorry for not updating as soon as I usually do: after years and years of 4 channels coming in on the TV, we finally have satellite TV and it's great! I'm not a normally a TV junkie, House being one of a handful of shows I watch on a regular basis, but I like that I can actually see the screen instead of everything being so snowy all the time! So, I broke away from the movie I was watching (Spirited Away, a great Japanese film I just finished) and wanted to write Cuddy's Chapter! Here we go!
Cuddy's Confessions
She sat at her desk, not knowing what else to do. She knew Stacy was in the building before, but that must have been hours ago, and Cuddy yawned, exhausted. Yet, she knew that, if she went home, she wouldn't get any sleep and might miss something at the hospital. Between the legal work and paper work and phone calls, Cuddy wondered how long she was going to be trapped in her office until everything was done. There would be no more phone calls; if she called anywhere at this hour, she wouldn't get an answer or would be laughed at.
Cuddy had told the doctors to leave and not come back until the normal shift the next day. If something happened to Mr. Deleyney, either she or another doctor would deal with whatever came up. There was no way Cameron, Chase, Foreman, House, or Wilson would touch that man ever again. Cuddy could barely look the family in the eye as she checked up on the patient regularly, once every hour. The eldest son shot daggers into her every time she walked into the room, and the wife could do nothing but weep silently, holding her husband's hand. The two daughters and the younger boy, both older teenagers, sat in the corners of the room, sleeping, waiting for something to happen.
This family was just like any other family, Cuddy thought as she checked the clock and realized there were five more minutes to the hour and she would have to go back there again. She hated going into that room. But, she was responsible for Mr. Deleyney's wellbeing from this point on and it was her duty to look them in the eye and tell them the truth: Mr. Deleyney was not getting any better. The medicine House had combined with the blood sample he had found was the wrong medicine, obviously, but the blood itself was tainted. Cuddy wondered how long the time frame had been between when Foreman had lost the sample and when House had found it. House either didn't think about the bacteria that formed in blood when it was stagnant and lukewarm or ignored it. Cuddy had started Mr. Deleyney on everything she could think of, to treat possible sepsis to fungal infection, everything administrated in small doses, tests to see how the medicine reacted. Nothing had worked and Cuddy was running out of ideas.
Cuddy felt physically sick as she stood and grabbed her lab jacket from a nearby chair. She was so exhausted she could barely drag herself out the door. Going from the darkened office to the brightly lit hallway brought tears to her eyes and Cuddy wiped them away, ignoring the looks of concern from the rest of the staff. She got on the elevator with a nurse heading to the same floor and the nurse looked very uncomfortable being with Cuddy. Everyone had heard about the scene in Dr. House's office that afternoon; rumors were flying everywhere. As Cuddy wiped her eyes and sighed, the nurse laid a hand on her shoulder and smiled reassuringly. The hospital director, to her surprise, felt more tears come and fall down her cheeks. She was crying.
If only there was a way to turn back time, Cuddy thought, clenching her fists over the cuffs of her lab jacket. She would never have let House on the Deleyney case. She would never have trusted Cameron. She never would have given Wilson the case. She would have sent Chase and Foreman to another medical team. Cuddy would have split the entire group up, the smartest group of doctors she had seen in all her years of being in the medical field.
The smartest group of doctors was costing her everything. She had not expected this from them, not at all. They were so bright they were all blinded by their brilliance and walking around blind was sure to cause a fall. They had all fallen from grace in Cuddy's eyes as she smiled grimly at the nurse and got off the elevator. She walked into the patient's room again, facing the those who were afraid of losing their loved one.
The sight was almost more than Cuddy could bear.
I wanted her to be very emotional in this chapter, but not out of control, like Cameron or Chase. Not so hollow, like Wilson felt, and not so angry like Foreman or Stacy. I wanted Cuddy to have her own sort of emotion in this chapter and I hope I caught it! Please tell me what you think! Thanks for all the reviews so far! House is next! Thanks!
