If I tell you…

Will you listen?

Will you stay?

Will you be here forever?

Never go away?

This must be a mistake, he cannot be gone he wouldn't leave me.

That was the first thing I thought when I saw him laying there.

He looked normal, calm and quiet.

No too quiet.

I said his name.

Nothing.

I rushed to the bed, screaming his name, but he just lay there not moving.

I took his hand in mine his fever was gone he just was cold, so cold.

That was when I began to realise that it wasn't a mistake it wasn't a nightmare, he wouldn't wake up.

Never thought thing's would change

Hold me tight

Please don't say again

That you have to go.

I threw myself to him, not even realizing that I was still screaming, first his name than later I was just screaming cursing the God's who allowed this to happen and then everything, everybody for not being Hephaestion, for letting him die.

And I cursed him for leaving me behind for thinking that I could go on without him, I wouldn't last one day without him why didn't he see that?

The doctors came rushing In panicking they were afraid for their own life's, of course.

Where were they when he needed to be saved?

Somewhere deep inside I knew that he probably couldn't be saved but I refused to think about that.

The room was suddenly too full with people, too full of noise.

I pushed them all away out the door, no-one was aloud to be with him I would stay here forever until he came back.

But when I was alone with him again everything was just too quiet, even my screaming couldn't fill up that silence deep down inside me, he was the only one who could make it better, and he was gone.

A bitter thought

I had it all

but I just let it go

hold your silence

it's so violence since you're gone.

So I stopped screaming and started crying hugging his cold body tight to me.

But I didn't help he wasn't there anymore his once so beautiful body was just a cold thing now he left it.

And I wasn't much more, because he left me too.

He had always been my love, my life, my reason to move on and be a better person.

I can't remember my life without him.

Did I have a life without him?

I remembered the boy with the bluest eyes I have ever seen, the boy I dressed up like a sheik the only one who ever really believed in me and my dreams.

The boy who loved the Iliad and who was always my Patroclus.

Who would always be my Patroclus.

I remembered a promise I once made to him, a promise I would surely keep.

All my thought's are with you forever

'till the day we'll be back together

I will be waiting for you.

If I tell you…

Will you listen?

Will you stay?

Will you be here forever?

Never go away.

Never thought things would change

Hold me tight

Please don't say again

that you have to go.

A bitter thought

I had it all

But I just let it go.

Hold you're silence

It's so violence since you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever

'Till the day we'll be back together

I will be waiting for you.

I had told you…

You would've listened

you had stayed

you would be here forever

never went away

it would never have been the same

all our time

would have been in vain

cause you had to go.

The sweetest thought

I had it all

Cause I did let you go

All our moments keep me warm

When you're gone

All my thoughts are with you forever

'till we'll be back together

I will be waiting for you.

Bittersweet from within temptation