Folded Hands, Chapter Twelve

Pairings: Zabuza/Haku, possibly others later

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Notes:

IceNight009—

Haku kissed Zabuza.

All--

Thanks for all of your reviews, as usual!

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Haku awoke to the sound of pounding on the door of his Master's house. The first thing that came to his mind was that the mission was today. Had he slept in? A glance out the window told him that dawn had not yet come.

The person at the door knocked again. Haku reluctantly pulled himself away from the couch. He realized that the person at the door was probably one of the foreign ninja, but…

He froze in his steps. It might be an assassin.

The knocking grew louder.

Haku took a deep breath, and then walked toward the door. The knocking stopped abruptly.

"He…hello?" he asked nervously.

"Haku?"

He let out the breath he'd been holding. It was Naruto who had answered him. "Naruto, what are you doing here?" he whispered through the door.

The scarred ninja was silent for a moment, and then he said, "I need to talk to you before the mission."

Talk to me? About what?

"Wait until my Master leaves," Haku replied softly. He rested his forehead against the cool door, his face burning as the memories from last night returned. I don't want to upset him any further, and leaving before I'm supposed to leave would certainly do that.

Naruto growled. "It's important, okay? Let me ask him if you can come out early."

"I don't think he'd like that," Haku said sadly.

"Why not?"

"Please…I don't want to anger or bother him."

"Why would that bother him?" Naruto paused briefly. "Hell, I left before I was supposed to today, and I don't think Master Kakashi even noticed."

"It's different for me."

"Well, can't I ask him?"

Haku was growing irritated. "No, please just come back later. Let's not bother him." He had actually fallen asleep hoping that he would not have to face his Master that morning. He wanted the older man to have a chance to cool off, after what Haku had done the night before.

"It'll only take a second."

"NO."

Naruto huffed. "Fine. If that's the way you're going to be…"

Haku held his breath. The foreign ninja had fallen silent. Now I've made an enemy out of Naruto, too? I have to choose between them, and Master is of much more importance than Naruto. He must understand that.

The knocking returned, startling Haku and making him jump. Naruto was really pounding down the door this time.

Haku panicked. "Naruto, stop, please--"

"Hey! NO EYEBROWS!" Naruto shouted as he knocked, "Wake up! Time to get out of bed!"

"Naruto, shut up!" Haku hissed. Did Naruto want him to be killed?

Too suddenly for Haku, the door to Zabuza's room was thrown open, and his Master stormed out, fully dressed, bandages in place. He stared at the man for a second, and Zabuza sent him a sideways glare before opening the front door to see a pissed-off Naruto.

"Did you come here because you wanted to die, kid?" Zabuza growled at Naruto. Haku wanted to say something, to apologize for Naruto, but no words came to him.

Naruto glared at the older, taller, stronger water-nin. "Hey, let me borrow Haku for a while."

"Borrow?" A hint of amusement arose in Zabuza's voice. He glanced at Haku, who looked away from him as quickly as Zabuza's black eyes found his face.

Zabuza turned back to look at Naruto, his expression now bored. "If it's for the mission, sure. Just don't be late."

Haku's surprise showed clearly on his face. "Master?" he asked softly.

His Master, in turn, glared at him. "Did you hear what I said? Get dressed and go."

"Yes, Master," Haku said nervously. He left the living room to change.

Haku's hands shook as he dressed for the mission. Oh, he's still mad. He's definitely angry with me. And I can't believe that Naruto woke him like that! My poor Master…I assaulted him last night, and now Naruto is bothering him, but it's because of me, so it's still my fault…

Zabuza waited at the front door. Naruto was glaring daggers at him, which pissed him of to no small extent. What the fuck is this kid's problem? He shouldn't be so nosy and obnoxious.

He heard Haku open the bathroom door, and Naruto tried to look around him to see Haku.

"Hey, kid," Zabuza said. Naruto looked at him, a little surprised. "What?"

"Before you go…"

Upon arriving at the front door, Haku saw Naruto lying at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the front door of the house, his nose bloody. His Master walked past him, rubbing a bloody fist.

"Have a safe trip." Was all that his Master said before shutting the front door behind him.

Haku stared at the front door, then at Naruto, who was gingerly touching his nose. Naruto grinned at him cockily.

"You shouldn't have woken him," Haku said as he walked down the stairs. He helped Naruto to stand, then smiled and said, "I'm sorry. I made him angry last night and it seems like he decided to take it out on you."

"Tch." Naruto glared at Zabuza's house. "What kind of creep could get angry at you, Haku? It's not like YOU would ever do anything bad." He focused his attention on the slave. "You shouldn't take the blame. I bet that it was something else that pissed him off. Like me, for instance."

Haku shook his head, and turned his face away. "I…did something last night."

Naruto snorted. "What could you have done?" Blood had begun to pour out of his nose, and Naruto started to pat down his robes, looking for some cloth to use to stop the outpour.

"It's not worth hearing."

The scarred ninja stared at him for a moment, then decided that it might be better not to pursue the subject.

Haku smiled at him again, and asked, "What did you want to talk to me about, Naruto?"

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Haku's eyes wandered over the lake at which he had trained with his Master and the foreigners. He didn't know why Naruto had brought him there, but he suspected that it had something to do with last-minute tips for the mission.

Naruto stood facing away from Haku. He'd folded his arms behind his head, and he was gazing over the surface of the water, completely silent. Haku realized that Naruto had been rather quiet that morning, and he wondered if it had something to do with his Master. He was probably still upset from the damage that Zabuza had caused him that morning.

"Haku," the blonde young man said suddenly, in a rather soft voice. He turned to look at Haku, then continued.

"Have you ever killed someone before?"

The water-nin was taken aback by the question, but he didn't let it show. He simply smiled at Naruto and answered, "Yes. Not as many as a skilled ninja, perhaps."

Naruto nodded. He dropped his arms, then stretched for a moment before sitting down on one of the rocks by the water's edge, facing Haku this time.

"Whenever my team goes on a mission that involves killing, we all…prepare ourselves. Master Kakashi reads his perverted books, or sometimes goes somewhere and doesn't tell us where he's been. Sakura used to cry, sometimes, or she'd talk to her friend Ino, so that she could be…sorted out.

"Then, Sakura started her medical training, and I guess some stuff happened…now she doesn't have to do anything anymore. She's always ready to kill when it's mission time."

Haku nodded, trying to imagine Sakura as a cold-blooded killer. The image was hard to pin down.

"Sasuke always goes to a temple to pray. He found a temple in the village and he's there, right now, praying for our team, and asking that he men we kill will be judged fairly and may go to a pleasant afterworld."

This one was easier to imagine.

"And, well," Naruto continued, "I've never been the type to pray. I'm not even sure if I believe in God. I don't have close friends outside my team, like Sakura." He started to play with the folds on his pants, trying to straighten them out against his legs. Haku continued to listen politely.

"I do meditate, though, almost every day, but it's for a different reason. So when it's time for a mission, I just try to do whatever feels right, to prepare myself." He looked up at Haku now, who had been watching him.

"I wanted to make sure that you could prepare yourself for this. I didn't just want Zabuza to throw you into this mission, like it seems like he was planning to do."

Haku smiled. "It's okay. I don't really need to prepare myself."

Naruto shook his head. "Everyone prepares themselves; it's just that they do it in different ways. You can't be yourself when you kill. You have to set aside a part of yourself that's just for missions, or else it affects you." He hung his head. "It affected Sakura, you know. She's grown up since we first met, but…she's not quite the same anymore. Too strong."

He paused for a few minutes, and Haku thought about what he'd said.

The first time that Haku had killed, he hadn't been prepared for it at all.

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Haku's mother smiled at him as she hung up their family's laundry. "Haku, honey, don't fall into the water!" she said softly as Haku played with snow near the laundry line.

"What water?" he asked. He was six years old then, the son of poor farmers in the Water Country.

His mother took a break from hanging up the laundry so that she could speak with her son. She knelt by him, and pointed to the ice covering the ground nearby.

"Do you see this ice?" she asked. He nodded. "You can't see it now, but there is about a foot of water frozen under this ice. If you step on the ice, it will break and you'll get soaked."

Haku stared at the ice. "Really?"

His mother pat him on the head. "Neat, isn't it?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "The water's hiding!"

She smiled at him. Haku was such a cute child, so loving and warm and gentle. He would grow up to be a great farmer, just like his father; a family man. That was her dream for her son, at least.

When his mother had returned to the laundry, Haku decided to test this theory of the ice. The mystery was too great to be left alone! How could water hide under ice like that? As soon as his mother turned around, Haku pressed his hand against the ice. The cold surface began to crack under his touch, and then…it broke!

Haku stared in amazement as the ice fell away, and liquid water began visible. He glanced at his mother over his shoulder, then dipped his hand in the water.

"Cold!" he shouted suddenly. He pulled his hand out of the water.

His mother knelt down at his side immediately, and said, "Haku, be careful. I don't want you to get frostbite." She reached for his hands to dry them with her apron, and froze.

Haku's hand was covered in water, yes, but there was also water in the air, forming a neat sphere. She stared at his hands, then continued to stare in horror as Haku realized what he had done.

"Look, mom!" he shouted happily. He made the sphere move between his hands, and stretched it out.

His mother grabbed his wrists then, pulling them apart. The sphere of water fell onto the ice, and Haku stared at his mother. There was a distinct look of sadness on her face, and Haku asked, "Mom?"

She let go of one of his wrists and slapped him. He started to cry immediately, but didn't complain.

"I'm sorry, mom!" he said. He looked at his mother's face again, and there were tears in her eyes, as well.

"Haku," she said in a firm voice. "Don't EVER do anything like that again." She grabbed his shoulder firmly, and held him in place. "Don't EVER do that again. Don't tell your father, please…" she started to sob as she pulled Haku into a hug.

Haku sobbed with her. "I'm sorry, mom, I didn't want to make you mad…please forgive me, mother…."

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Haku's mother had sent him to his bedroom when they reentered their small, warm house. She told him not to leave for any reason.

He jumped when he heard his father slam the front door.

"You BITCH!" he shouted. "You…you monster…you lied to me!"

His mother had begun to sob again. "Please understand, I didn't think that it would be passed on to Haku--"

He heard the sounds of flesh on flesh as his father hit his mother. "I knew that you were lying when you said that you were from the next village over! You're one of THEM!"

More slapping. "Darling, please…."

"Because of you, another one of those monsters has been brought into the world!"

Monster? Daddy thinks I'm a monster?

Why?

Haku ran to the door of his room, but he remembered what his mother had said about opening the door. He listened, afraid of what he was going to hear.

"I can't have that boy here, and I can't have you here!"

"You can't just send us away!"

His father shouted, "You two aren't going anywhere!"

His mother screamed, and Haku froze. There were pained noises…then wet noises…then just the sound of his father panting, and walking to Haku's door.

Instinct took over. Haku ran to the window of his room, opened it, and jumped out into the snow.

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The local police found his mother's dead body not one hour later. His father had been found in a crazed state in town, shouting about 'the clan' and carrying an axe. The police found Haku late that night, when he tried to sneak back into his house to find his mother's blood all over their kitchen.

He'd been turned over to the town orphanage immediately, and the orphanage director had said 'poor, poor thing' when she'd first met Haku. He was a skinny six-year-old boy with a dead mother and a murderer for a father.

He would later learn that his father had been hung two days after the murder.

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Haku's life at the orphanage was less than spectacular. For the first two years, he'd stayed with all the other little kids under the watchful eye of the director's daughter.

When he turned eight, though, he was expected to work at the orphanage farm.

The orphanage was not supported by the local temple or by any philanthropists. The children who lived there were expected to earn their keep by working on the large farm at the center of the orphanage. The land was tough, and the older children had to work it from sunlight to sunset to ensure their place there.

It had become obvious to the other older children that Haku's body was not suited to farm work. He was still skinny at the age of eight, and his long hair made him look like a weak girl. A few of the older children made fun of him, or gave him a hard time because of the weakness of his body. A few were kind to him, though, and helped him to complete his tasks.

The orphanage director had seen this, though, and was not pleased.

Haku continued that life for five years. His body did not grow stronger, but his tasks became more difficult as he grew older, and he often fainted on hot or cold days. He constantly received help from the older children, though some of those who had helped him when he was younger had become annoyed by his persisting weakness.

He never once played with water while at the orphanage, though, so he thought he was safe.

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The director pulled him to the side one day.

"Haku," she said. Haku stood facing her, his hands at his sides.

"Yes, Miss Shizuka?" he asked politely.

She cleared her throat, and folded her arms. "It's expected that every child at this orphanage pull their weight if they want to keep their place here." She gave him a level look. "You haven't been doing that, Haku. You constantly seek help from others, and you're draining the orphanage of hard-earned money by always falling ill."

Haku nodded nervously. "I-I'm sorry, Miss Shizuka."

She shook her head. "You're not making any improvement. I can't let you stay here anymore."

He stared at her in surprised, then took a step forward. "Please, Miss Shizuka, I'll work harder, I promise. You don't even have to have a doctor come when I get sick--"

She held up a hand. "No, you don't understand the depth of the problem, Haku." She waited until he took a step back. "I've already arranged for your new home. You couldn't pull your weight here, so we've decided to sell you as a slave to support the orphanage."

"As a…slave…" Tears began to well up in his eyes. "Please, no…"

She looked at him with disgust. "What kind of life did you expect? You're weak and damn near useless. Your father is a murderer. Kids like you don't get everything they like."

He stared at her, and said softly, "I'm sorry…"

The director scoffed. "Don't make me out to me the bad guy. I need to make sure that the others have a chance."

Haku nodded. "Of course you're not the bad guy!"

She looked away. He's too soft. "The slaver is waiting in the lobby. Dry your face and go."

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Haku's first time on the auction block had been surreal. He'd been brought out in front of dozens of men, and the auctioneer had read a description of him.

"Haku, age thirteen. No skills, has experience working on a farm."

No skills. Of no value. Worthless.

Haku lowered his head as the bidders looked him over. He wished that he'd known that he needed to be of value before…he could have worked harder, rather than just trying to get by…he could have stayed…

He did not look at the men bidding on him. He was sold quickly for two thousand, and rushed off the block and away from the stage into the back waiting room.

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His first master had been a farmer, and he had quickly sold him when he learned that Haku was very weak and was prone to sickness. His second master was also a farmer, but he'd hired Haku to look after the house. After burglars hit his house, he'd sold Haku to recover some of the things he'd lost.

Haku's third master was a fairly wealthy man who owned a bath house in a village far from where Haku had been born. He'd bought Haku because of his ambiguous looks—it would be attractive for a feminine boy to work in a bath house serving men.

The work had not been difficult, and Haku had felt like he was making headway with this position. His job consisted of cleaning and serving, in general—bringing towels and robes, directing patrons to private rooms, serving alcohol, looking after patrons' needs, cleaning towels, cleaning the bath areas. He could sometimes relax, though he never dared to try the baths for himself.

He didn't know much about his Master; the man was in his forties and generally kept to himself. Their relationship was decent, though they never really spoke.

It was during this time that Haku's body began to change. Not only did he become stronger, and the illnesses became less frequent, but he also learned of sexual desire. He had heard patrons enjoying themselves at times with prostitutes, and he had peeked into a few rooms out of curiosity. He wasn't sure of where he could fit into something like that, but his body's urges told him that he had a place in it.

He began to dream, though his dreams were never clear. He would often awaken to find himself hot, sweaty, and aroused. He sometimes saw an old friend from the orphanage in his dreams—a boy who had been fifteen when Haku had first met him, and who had outgrown the orphanage and moved on. This embarrassed Haku, because he never saw two men together in the baths—just men and women. He reasoned that that must have been the norm, and hid his fantasies.

He also discovered masturbation at that time. Haku had never known such strong pleasure, and, at times when the patrons were drunken or angry, or when there was an overflow of business, he would promise himself that small bit of pleasure late that night if he could make it through the day.

His Master had caught him once, though. It was when Haku was preparing to bath for the night, and had decided to masturbate as usual. The door to his bathroom had opened suddenly, and he'd pulled a towel over himself in shame.

The air had been heavy with the smell of sex, and his Master knew immediately what Haku had been doing. He'd ripped the towel away from Haku body and admired him.

"I guess you're old enough now," he'd said, leering at his slave as he blushed and tried to cover himself.

The old man had pulled Haku's hands away from his body as he looked him over. "This IS what I bought you for, after all," he'd whispered into Haku's ear. "A pretty boy like you can keep some customers entertained…and myself as well."

Haku panicked and struggled. "I…I don't…"

His Master sneered. "You don't want to?"

"I don't understand…"

The man had pushed Haku against the cold wall of the bathroom. "Well, it's just you and me tonight, pretty Haku," he'd said. Haku stared at him, eyes wide in fear.

"You'll understand well enough by the end of tonight."

His Master had raped him the first time that night. Haku was fifteen years old.

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His time with his third Master continued like that for the next year and a half. He would do his normal job, but when it was late at night, or when a customer asked for him, or after all of the customers had left, Haku would find himself at the mercy of his Master or another man. It was almost always painful, but he grew used to it.

Haku's sexual desires had almost completely disappeared after eighteen months. There were a few times when younger or more attractive patrons would ask for him, and he would become aroused, but he usually hit his erection. He did not want his vulnerability to serve as someone's toy.

Then, one night, his Master had asked for him to come into one of the baths with him. He was secretly sad that he would not have the chance to spend time in the bath by himself. Haku never felt comfortable when he was naked with other people, because he knew that nudity lead to sex, and sex lead to pain and shame.

"Haku," his Master had said as Haku entered the room. He was waiting for him, clearly aroused and staring hungrily at his slave's body. Haku was still wearing the robe that served as the bath house uniform.

"Take that off. Don't keep me waiting."

Haku began to remove the robe, but his hands were shaking and his fingers slipped. Just then, he found that he could remain clothed for an extra second. The robe felt good on his skin, better than his Master's hands ever had.

His hands settled on the belt of his robe, and he stood like that for a moment, staring at the water.

"Haku," his Master said more firmly. "Take that off and join me. Don't be rude to your Master."

Haku untied the belt of his robe slowly, staring at the water.

If I take my mind off it, it won't be as bad. I can just obey him, and wait for tomorrow when…when this will happen again.

I need to keep my relationship with my Master pleasant.

I won't get anything from it, though.

I have no reason to live.

"Haku!"

His eyes flitted back to his Master, who was red in the face. "Join me, or I'll punish you."

"No."

"WHAT!"

Haku looked away. "No punishment or Hell could be worse than this," he said under his breath.

He had never spoken out against his Master before, and he was somewhat surprised by himself. Were these thoughts really buried inside him?

His Master stood, and said, "I will beat and rape you if you don't do as you're told."

Haku stared at him emotionlessly. "That just means you're threatening to hit me. You'll rape me if I do join you or if I don't join you, so that part won't have changed."

His Master huffed, and climbed out of the water. Haku panicked.

That puddle of water came back to him right then.

He was a monster.

Haku walked along the edge of the bath, not letting his Master come any closer to him. "You shouldn't threaten me," he said. "I'm a monster, and I can do horrible things."

"What crap is spewing out of your mouth now?"

Haku began to walk faster, and he was soon standing across from his Master, facing him on the opposite side of the bath.

His Master's face had reddened even more. "Haku, stop this damn game and come over here," the old mad had said.

"No. No, no, no, no, no," Haku had said.

"Very well then," his Master had said suddenly, settling back down into the bath. "I know where you sleep, anyway. You've pissed me off, so you can be sure I'll be visiting you tonight."

Haku's eyes widened.

"And don't even think of trying to run away. Everyone in this town knows that you're mine, so you won't get far."

His Master smirked, then laid back and closed his eyes.

Haku stared at him. He was trapped, in every way. If he fought back, he'd be punished. If he gave in, he'd still be hurt and violated. There was nowhere for him to go, and the only people who wanted him were the ones who could get something from him.

"I HATE you," he finally said.

"Oh?" His Master laughed. "Isn't that cute?"

"I hate you. You raped me. You're disgusting."

His Master laughed again. "I'm not disgusting. I'm not the one who lets old men put it up his ass."

"I thought I had to." Haku's hands clenched into fists. "I don't, though. That's why…"

His Master yawned. "Just shut up and get out of here." He closed his eyes.

The man didn't hear anything else from Haku, and he thought that his slave had left. He relaxed, enjoying his thoughts of possible punishments for Haku.

His Master opened his eyes suddenly when he felt water from the bath surge up in a wave, covering his body completely. He fought against the inexplicable wave to see Haku still standing at the edge of the bath, with his arms raised, and a look of intense concentration on his face.

Haku held the wave like that, moving it a little when his Master fought against it. He kept the old man trapped like that for what felt like forever, until his body stopped moving, and his eyes rolled back in his head, and his lips were blue and no more bubbles left from his nose or mouth.

He left the water and the body drop, and ran from the bath house.

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When the police found him, he felt like he was having déjà vu from the time that his father had killed his mother. This time, though, he was playing both his and his father's parts, hiding in an alley and finding himself surrounded by police. He was beaten into submission, then taken to the village's jail and held.

No trial was necessary. Haku was a slave, the fair-faced slave of a man known to many as a lover of pretty boys. It made sense that Haku would have cracked, and killed his Master in an attempt to escape from the hell that he had been sentenced to.

He had been held for a few weeks, and the law office decided to try to sell him before his execution, to pull in revenue. Haku had realized bitterly that his life would never change, that he was caught in this cycle. Of value to no one, pushed from one place to the next. People would always try to get what they could from him, and then get rid of him if he wasn't satisfactory.

He had never hoped for a Master like Zabuza. Now, though, he was grateful for the older man's presence. Even if he wasn't warm or kind…he was more human than his last Master. He wanted something else from Haku.

Rather, what Zabuza wanted was Haku himself.

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Haku tore himself away from his thoughts. Naruto was still sitting on the rock he'd found, and he was looking across the surface of the lake.

Naruto caught his eye, and he asked Haku, "Are you ready?"

Haku considered this for a moment, and said, "Yes. I put myself in your care." in a soft voice.

The blonde ninja smiled, just a little. "Don't be so formal-sounding! And besides, we still have some time. Did Zabuza give you any weapons?"

Haku shook his head, and Naruto's eyes widened.

"He's sending you to kill yourself! Let's go visit my place here real quick, and I'll set you up!" he shouted, jumping up and dusting his pants off.

Haku followed him to the hotel. Had this same situation occurred one year ago, he'd dread following Naruto to the hotel…he would have expected something unpleasant. Now, though….

He caught up to Naruto, and pulled at his arm. The blonde ninja looked at him in surprise. "What is it, Haku?"

Haku smiled, and pulled his hand back.

"Thank you, Naruto."

I guess that he did help me to prepare for this. Killing is easy, if you know why you're doing it. If anyone tries to kill me, then I'll kill them. I want to live to see my Master again, and to experience those few pleasant moments of happiness, moments that have become more frequent since the time that these ninja have come into my life.

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Not too far away, Sasuke sat at a temple. He was nearly finished with his prayers, and he included one more for Haku.

Sakura finished dressing. She decided to put on a little more make-up, to make sure that the boys would be surprised when they saw her. There was nothing for her to do until the others broke into the base, anyway.

Kakashi and Zabuza had already met up, and were waiting for the right time to begin their part of the mission.

Zabuza couldn't help but think of Haku's kiss the night before. It had felt nice, really. It just made him worry about what it was that went on in his slave's head sometimes.

Don't get yourself killed today.

He glanced at Kakashi, who nodded at him.

"It's time."

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