CHAPTER TWO: SARAH

Sarah Gardner and I had known each other since our post-doctoral work at Oxford. If Jack thought I was a geek when he first met me, he should have seen me then! Books, study and ancient artifacts were all I cared about, all that existed as far as I was concerned. That was until I met Sarah.

I was twenty-four years old and Sarah was the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Looking back, I didn't have a chance. Within a month, we'd begun a torrid affair that burnt itself out within a year. We didn't part on the best of terms; unfortunately, there were more than enough hurt feelings to go around. By the time we met again at Professor Jordan's funeral, I'd worked for the SGC nearly four years. For better or worse I'd learned about love and loss in ways I'd never imagined.

After the funeral, I had less than a week to get to know Sarah again. Then the Sarah I'd known was gone, possessed by the most vile of creatures, the Goa'uld, Osiris. My mind and heart were horrified to think of the gentle, self assured, scholarly woman I'd known as Sarah Gardner possessed by evil of such magnitude.

From the moment of her violation, my encounters with Sarah were nightmarish. I reluctantly witnessed acts of terrible cruelty wrought by her hands under the insistence of her imperious, inhuman slave master.

On the day we were miraculously able to liberate Sarah, I was grateful. Grateful to the Tok'ra and to whatever Higher Power had finally allowed us to take back control in Sarah's name.

The initial euphoria of our achievement began to fade within the first week the parasite was removed. Sarah began to experience vivid and horrific flashbacks to the time she spent as Osiris' slave and the vicious acts she'd been compelled to commit. Within a month, in order to protect her from herself, Sarah was committed to a sanitarium. The facility was very secure, very top secret and very pleasant, but it was still a mental hospital and being there only frightened her more.

Sam tried to help, thinking her own ordeal as a host would provide the experience and understanding needed to reach Sarah. But it wasn't enough. Sarah's experience had been so much more intense. Sam later told me she couldn't even begin to imagine Sarah's distress. After all, Jolinar had been a relatively benevolent Tok'ra and Sam's experience of blending, terrifying as it was, had been brief.

Once Sarah was released from the sanitarium, nearly a year later, it was clear she needed someone to watch over her. I happily stepped forward and spent whatever free time I had with her. It was like having Sha're returned to me. And before I knew it, I began to fall in love with Sarah all over again.

By the time we started to see each other, Jack and Sam had finally married; Sarah and I had gone to the wedding together. As I watched two of my best friends find their way home to each other, the happiness I felt for them was mixed with envy. I needed someone in my own life and Sarah needed me. I think what happened next was as simple and as complicated as that.

Jack took me aside one day after he and Sam came home from their honeymoon. After beating around the bush as he usually did when trying to discuss personal issues, he finally got to the point. He was worried about me and how close I was getting to Sarah. He wondered about Sarah's emotional stability. I told him he had nothing to worry about. At the moment I was speaking to him, I believed everything I told my friend. After all, I loved Sarah and together we could handle anything, right? I hoped with all my heart that was true.

Withintwo years, Sarah and I were engaged to be married.


A/N: Sorry for the long break between very short chapters. I was on vacation!

The next few chapters will get a bit dark, therefore the "mature" rating.

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