Folded Hands, Chapter Seventeen

Pairings: Zabuza/Haku, possibly others later

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Notes:

Wow…the last chapter received (as of 4/22/06) an outstanding eleven reviews, and altogether the last five chapters received twenty-three reviews.

I would like to thank each and every one of you who have been kind enough to review so far. As for those who don't review, I am grateful that you like my story enough to have read it to this point.

Once again, thank you for sticking with "Folded Hands" to this point. Although the story is mine, the thanks is yours.

Enjoy.

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Haku followed his Master reluctantly as they walked through the dense forest leading to the Water Country's eastern border. The four Fire Country ninja lead the way, and no one had spoken for a while.

His fist still stung from the punch he'd given to Naruto. He knew that his guilt and anxiety made him more aware of the pain, and as he stole a glance at Naruto his self-doubt grew.

If his Master had noticed his mood, he had chosen to ignore it. The man had not reprimanded him for hitting Naruto either, though, if Haku had watched him more closely, he would have noticed the look of surprise that appeared on his Master's face for a fraction of a second after he had punched Naruto. Haku had been too focused on the blonde ninja at the time, though.

No one, in fact, had said anything about him hitting Naruto. Sakura and Sasuke had suspected that Haku would do something—though they hadn't expected that he would actually hit Naruto—and Kakashi, well…Kakashi didn't seem to mind that one of his students had been roughed up a little, even if the reason wasn't clear.

As Haku stole another look at Naruto, he regretted hitting him. There had been no reason for it, no REAL reason, but Naruto had caused him so much…concern…anxiety….panic…even if his Master actually HAD agreed to letting him stay in the Fire Country for a while for training, he couldn't help but feel that Naruto was pulling him away from his Master.

Not after all that! Not after we started to grow close.

Sasuke knew better than to look at him after that mess, and Sakura had decided to take the tactic route as well by not saying anything to him. He wondered why neither of them had been surprised, but he knew that Naruto had a loose mouth and that he may have actually tried to conspire with them…

No, why would they try to pull me away from Master? Maybe that's why they didn't stop me…maybe they didn't like his plan…then why would they let him go through with it?

Haku realized that he didn't really know what either of them thought of him. He was about to be all alone in a foreign country. Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto…they were just acquaintances.

And how was he supposed to act without his Master around? His heart pounded, and he stole a glance at his Master.

He wants me to train in the Fire Country. If that's his will, I will obey it. I will do nothing more, though. I only want to be by his side and serve him now. I have little use for anything but training. I must do my best to learn quickly so that he will see me as an acceptable tool and take me back.

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Naruto rubbed his face where Haku's fist had connected with it a few hours ago. A bruise had begun to form, and the entire left side of his face was throbbing dully.

He hadn't meant any harm; he'd just been glad to see Haku again. Naruto had realized that his letter might have troubled Haku (well, after much persuasion from his teammates) and he'd wanted to set things straight by explaining his intentions.

I don't think that Zabuza really intends to take care of Haku. He's just a teenager like us, and he needs support. That man seems so cold and I don't think that he can be like Haku's family. Not only that, but…but he put Haku in danger!

The path had lead them to a sparser section of the forest, an ideal resting place, but he didn't feel like resting. He wasn't sure about facing Haku then.

If he hit me like that, then he must have been really upset. Haku's not the kind of guy who would just fly off the handle.

Kakashi didn't stop, either, and continued to push on ahead. The area began to look more familiar to Naruto, and that fact lifted his heart a little. He would be home soon, and he knew that, like the last mission, his falling out with Haku would end eventually.

He considered looking back at Haku. Maybe he had cooled off…

Naruto stopped himself. He didn't want to make Zabuza suspicious. THAT guy, he thought, is probably mad at Haku for hitting me. Shit, I hope Haku doesn't get punished later for that.

Don't be a coward! Smile at him! Nothing is wrong with smiling! If Haku gets punished, just beat up Zabuza later! Tell Godaime he touched you or something…yeah, heh heh, the perfect plan…adults are always suspicious about stuff like that…

The evil, scheming voice in Naruto's head continued. That would be so funny! As soon as we get to the temple, I bump up against him, call red, beat him up, and get that old-ass Godaime to throw his ass out of the Fire Country, then Haku will live with me back home, and he won't have to stay with…

He knew it was a stupid plan, and it wasn't something that he would actually do, but he entertained the thought for a moment before looking at Haku.

As soon as his eyes caught Haku's, he reflexively flashed him a big smile. Haku, after staring at him for a moment with his mouth open ever so slightly, perhaps preparing to apologize, smiled back. There was a pained look on his face, but his smile was genuine, and Naruto was relieved.

Then, Naruto realized that Zabuza was looking at him. Without thinking, he scowled at the man and whipped his head back around so that he didn't have to look at the water-nin anymore.

He was suddenly so full of energy, and he had to work it off before he exploded.

"Hey, everyone!" he shouted, drawing the focus of his teammates and teacher. Without letting anyone reply (and ignoring Sasuke's annoyed glare) he continued, "We're almost home! What are you going to do when you get home, Sakura?"

Haku watched in amusement as she tried to appease Naruto's sudden mood swing. "Uh…take a shower…use some really intensive conditioner--"

The scarred ninja interrupted, "Girl stuff, huh? And you, Sasuke?" He grinned at the black haired young man who looked ready to kill him. "Gonna borrow Sakura's girly conditioner to keep your hair all pretty?"

"Fucking die."

Naruto whistled, then turned around so that he was looking straight at Haku. Haku was a little surprised, but Naruto ignored the expression on his face and said, "When we get home—er, the to temple—I'll show you around. Well, after you clean up and eat and stuff. It's a lot of fun there, and there are a lot of people I want you to meet!"

Haku nodded dumbly and he let Naruto ramble on.

"There are a lot of strong people there! Some of them are mean, but a lot of them are nice and I'm sure that they'd all like to help you! As Sasuke sometimes says when he wants to seem cool, 'the best way to learn is to teach'! And besides learning, there are fun things, like going out to eat with Iruka, and getting on old-ass-Godaime-granny's nerves, and oh! There's Kiba and…"

Haku smiled and listened to Naruto, not really hearing him but not stopping him either. As Naruto continued to talk without any reply or encouragement, Haku had to fight back tears.

There's nothing to worry about, right, Master? Because Naruto will be there to help me to not be lonely. I must be lucky…to have you, Master, but also to not have to be lonely when you're gone…

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The temple was an old structure which had been renovated many, many times. It was in the style of old religious temples—it really did look like a place for people to pray—and the design consisted of five large pagodas linked by large halls. The village, called Konoha, was located to the east of the temple and spilled out into a large valley.

Haku took all this in with wonder as their group neared Naruto's home. He glanced at his Master's face to see that the man stoically accepted this place, far grander than anything that existed in the Water Country.

Haku swallowed nervously as they neared the large gate leading into the temple grounds. Was his Master going to leave now? Would he be able to say goodbye? Did his Master even want him to acknowledge his departure, or did he simply want his slave to wait and obey and let him leave? If so, then why did his Master come to the Fire Country in the first place?

A guard in one of the towers that stood on either side of the gate waved at them. "Password?" he shouted to Kakashi.

Kakashi gave him a look. "There's a password?" He stared at the guard for a few seconds, then rubbed his head as his students reacted to their predicament.

"Master Kakashi!" Naruto shouted, the first to complain. "How could you leave if you didn't know the password? Even a kid like me knows you can't do things like that!"

Sasuke was next. "Tch. It's your fault that we can never get back home, Master Kakashi. They don't let students know privileged information like that."

Sakura followed him, practically interrupting him. "Were you reading one of your books when they told you the password, you pervert?"

Haku blinked. He didn't….know the password? Really?

Who was he being entrusted to?

The guard shrugged. "Close enough. Password accepted." He waved them in and added, as he looked at Naruto, "Your part was a little off, kid."

"No way!" the blonde ninja shouted as he pointed at the guard. "It was perfect! I know the goddamn password!"

Haku was still confused. What was going on? The gate was opening, and the guard had stopped watching them.

His Master grunted. "Weird system you got here," was all he said in Kakashi's general direction. Haku grew more distressed…wait.

Biting back his nervousness, he asked Zabuza, "Were their responses part of a script?"

Zabuza nodded without looking at him. "Short passwords are easy to remember. In training camps like this, it's important to keep outsiders, out."

Haku nodded. He was unaware with the fact that he had impressed Zabuza by deducing the nature of the password.

He was also unaware that his Master dreaded leaving him in the temple, and that he had raised his guard as soon as they stepped foot on the temple grounds.

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As he walked through the temple grounds, Haku became aware of the attention he was receiving. He realized that he stood out, and very badly at that. Haku lowered his eyes as a man and a young woman stopped training for a moment to stare at him. He noted quickly that the boy and girl both had dark hair and pale, pale grey eyes.

His Master passed him so that he could speak with Kakashi, and Haku soon fell into step with Naruto, who smiled at him as though they had never been on bad terms with one another. Nearby, two young men, one overweight and the other unreliable-looking, were training with a young, well-dressed blonde woman. The unreliable one saw him, and said something to his companions. They also stared at him, though the overweight one didn't stare for quite as long and the blonde seemed to look him over for quite a while.

Naruto sensed his nervousness. "I'll introduce you to everyone," he said, interrupting Haku's anxious thoughts. "There's a lot of people here, but you'll get to know the gang."

Sakura, who stood behind Naruto now, said, "Almost everyone here is like family, so it might take some time before they'll warm up to you, but once they have it'll feel like you've lived here your whole life."

That's not what I want, though, Sakura. I want that with Master.

He heard Sasuke's voice from directly behind him. "There are some people that…maybe you shouldn't meet, though."

Haku turned around to answer Sasuke, but he felt eyes on him and he looked around to see whoever it was that was staring at him now. There was a young man watching him from a window in the southern tower.

Sakura realized that Haku had caught Sasuke's hint, and she said, "Oh, Sasuke's just talking. Don't listen to him."

Haku nodded, wondering why Sakura had tried to cover up Sasuke's advice.

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He found himself a short while later standing outside 'Godaime''s office, whoever that was, with Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. Kakashi and his Master were speaking with 'Godaime' now, probably working out the terms of Haku's stay.

Haku tried to hear what they were saying, but he couldn't hear a thing. Instead, he found himself constantly being distracted by the other three ninja waiting with him as he counted tiles on the hallway floor.

"…just fuck off."

"But Sasuke!"

"Naruto, shut up for a while."

"Come on, I want to know what you guys think of my idea!"

What…are they talking about now? It probably doesn't have anything to do with me. It's probably an inside joke, or maybe a shared experience. Something I have no part in.

That's right, Haku. You're here now, and these three kids won't pay as much attention to you anymore. Face it. There are strong relationships in this place, and you've felt them. Don't expect Naruto to be so warm with you now.

"We could do it at night. I have everything we need. It'll be neat, and fast, and a lot of fun."

Haku had tuned out for a minute, and he already didn't know what they were talking about.

You will be an outsider.

"You've been thinking about this for a while now, huh?"

"Well, yeah."

"Jeez, Naruto, you need to get some other hobbies."

You will be left out.

"Come on! You guys are so dull!" Haku turned to watch them talk. Naruto's back was to him, Sasuke was standing against a wall with his eyes closed and his head resting on one hand, and Sakura was looking out a window, trying to ignore Naruto.

You will be alone.

Naruto suddenly turned around and faced him. "You want to, Haku?"

Somewhat startled, Haku asked, "Want to what?"

The door to Godaime's office opened just then, and Naruto shushed him quickly. Putting an arm around Haku's neck, he whispered, "I'll tell you later. It'll be great!"

Now very confused, Haku let Naruto drag him into Godaime's office.

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The twenty-something blonde woman cleared her throat and extended her right hand to Haku. "I take it that you're Haku?" she asked, smiling so politely that she could have easily outdone Sakura.

"Y-yes," he said, taking her hand. He was almost certain that his Master would want him to respond in this way.

His Master, along with Kakashi, had left the office as soon as he had entered. He had not been able to catch his Master's eye then—or rather, the man had ignored his pleading look—so he had followed Naruto even after the blonde had let go of him.

Why am I meeting this woman? He wondered. It seemed as though she was this 'Godaime' person.

Haku released her hand, and she said, "I'm Tsunade, our temple's current Hokage. If you ever need anything during your stay here, just ask me, or, ask one of the kids here."

"Yes, ma'am," he said softly.

A look of utter horror found its way to her face and she held up her hands. "How old do you think I am, young man?" she asked with a nervous laugh. "Please, call me Tsunade! I'm not a 'ma'am'!"

Naruto scoffed. "You're at least fifty years old, Godaime-granny!" He nudged Haku's side. "This lady uses a genjutsu to-HEY!"

Haku stared, once again marveling at Naruto's relationship with his elders, as the blonde woman hit Naruto's head. She immediately drew her hand back as soon as Naruto had begun to whimper in pain, and smoothed out her green robe. "As I was saying, call me Tsunade."

Haku nodded quickly.

She sighed. "As far as your stay here goes, we've worked out an agreement with your teacher. I'll go over the details of if in a moment. First," she said, turning to the three fire-nin standing to Haku's right, "you three need to turn in your mission reports to Records. After that, Sakura," she said, looking at the pink-haired ninja, "your parents want to see you. You are dismissed."

Sakura bowed and left the office.

"Sasuke, your father asked that you come home soon. He's worried about you and came by earlier today to ask that you be sent home immediately. And I mean immediately," she said, giving Sasuke a level look before he said anything. "Don't get me into trouble with the head of the police department. You are dismissed."

Sasuke bowed and left, walking considerably more quickly than Sakura had.

Tsunade turned to Naruto. "Troublemaker, Yondaime wants to see you. Also, if you have anything to report on the progress of your 'meditation', then give your OTHER written report to Records."

Naruto smirked. "Old foxy is just fine! I even--"

She held up a hand. "I don't care. Tell records, or better yet Yondaime. You are dismissed."

Naruto turned to Haku. "I need to go see my guardian, but, um, you can find me in the north tower. Just ask for me and anyone can tell you where I stay."

Haku nodded and watched nervously as his lifeline left him alone in the office with Tsunade.

As soon as the door to her officer shut, Godaime sighed and sat down. "Have a seat, kid," she said to Haku. He quickly obeyed and she sat forward in her chair, chin rested on her interlaced fingers with her arms as support.

"I know that you're a slave."

Haku's eyes opened wide for a moment, then he nodded. "I see. My Master told you?"

Tsunade nodded. "Slavery isn't legal in this country, though. Well, it doesn't matter too much right now. You'll be staying away from him for a while, so it's not like anyone's breaking any law. I don't want to meddle with outsider's affairs anyway."

Haku nodded. "It's very much appreciated," he said in a soft voice.

She stared at him for a moment, then continued. "I've worked out an arrangement with your Master. In return for training, board, food, and everything else we'll give you, you have to help the other students at the temple train against water jutsu. Also…"

Tsunade took a breath. "Also, Kakashi told me that you might have….something of interest to the temple. You don't need to worry about this now, but if you do have it, we are allowed to study you to see what this…things's…potential is."

Haku wasn't sure of what to make of that, but he nodded. "If my Master allowed it…"

"It's nothing to worry about," she said, shifting her position so that she was leaning back in her chair with her arms behind her head. "If you have it, it would be a good thing, for both you and for the temple.

And one more thing—while you stay here, you are not a slave. You are a student. This means that you are the same as the other students, and none of the students will be told that you are a slave. It would be troubling if you were to reveal that you were a slave, so don't call Zabuza your 'Master' to the other's faces, and don't let anyone order you around."

Haku nodded, letting that sink in.

Tsunade watched him, and either she decided that he understood or she was tired of talking to him, because the next thing she said was, "Now, you should be able to find someone around here who can show you around. Don't be shy, and have a nice day." She dropped out of her relaxed pose and smiled at him politely with a look that said, 'Get the hell out'.

"Thank you," he said as he left her office.

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As Sasuke ran home to see his father, a sense of dread and foreboding overtook him. He neared the Uchiha district, and found that the people in the streets were quiet.

His heart rate increased as he ran harder. Something wasn't right.

Sasuke's house came into view, and the sense of foreboding became stronger. He threw open the side door as soon as he reached his house and—

"Mother FUCKER!" Sasuke shouted as a well-placed forehead flick nearly knocked him to his knees. He grabbed his forehead as he looked up to see his older brother standing over him.

"Hello, Sasuke," Itachi said, grinning in victory. "You're lucky that mom and dad didn't hear your foul language." He extended a hand to help his younger brother to his feet.

Sasuke pushed himself up on his own, ignoring his brother's hand. "It's your fault for flicking me!"

"And whose fault is it that you never see it coming?"

Sasuke glared at his older brother for another moment before asking, "Where is dad?"

"At the office, as usual," Itachi said, sitting down at the low table in the center of the room to drink a cup of tea. Sasuke noticed that there were two cups, though he didn't ask why.

"Thanks!" Sasuke said. He left quickly, taking to a sprint, and he briefly wondered how Itachi had known that he would arrive home at that exact moment.

He got lucky. He's usually on a mission when I come home.

And because of that, I usually don't get a 'welcome home'.

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Sasuke ran into his father on his way to the police station. The Uchiha family had been the civilian police for generations, and a ninja branch had been added recently—they were the 'elite' police, though not on the order of ANBU.

His father shook his head when he saw his son running towards him. Sasuke had slowed to a walk immediately, but his father had still caught him.

"Sasuke, what have I told you about running through the district?" his father asked. "When you act childishly, you mar the image of the Uchiha clan."

Sasuke bowed apologetically. "I'm sorry, father," he said while trying to catch his breath. "You wanted to see me after the mission?"

His father nodded. "Your brother will be staying home for a short while. You are not to distract him while he trains. Is that understood?"

He watched as his son nodded and bowed. "I will not keep Itachi from his training," he said.

That prodigy has already given up so much, his father thought sourly. Itachi turned down a position directly under me at the police station, a high honor worthy of his accomplishments, so that he could help Sasuke train when he was younger! And now, he still takes ANBU-level missions when he should be an ANBU captain!

Unconsciously, Sasuke's father shook his head as he began to walk home with his ordinary son.

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As Sakura ate dinner with her parents, she told them about what she'd done on the mission.

"You dressed as a prostitute?" her mother asked, laughing. "Oh, honey, I don't think you could pull that off."

"Not just dressed," Sakura said, beaming. "I acted! It was funny, actually, because I had my clone do it--"

Her father interrupted her. "Clone? What's that? And what business does your teacher have in making you do things like that?" Without waiting for a response, he said, "Those kinds of things don't suit you. If I had known you'd have to pretend to be a whore, for god's sake, I would have put my foot down!"

Sakura looked away. "Well, you know, it just kind of happened…"

Her father was still not pleased. "No more dangerous missions for you. Tomorrow, I'm going to see that Hokage woman and tell her not to put my little baby in danger like that."

"I can handle it, dad!"

Her mother put a hand on Sakura's arm. "Just let him try to protect you, honey. He's still your father, even if your growing up to be a big girl."

Sakura's parents were civilians. She was contstantly infuriated with their attitudes about her work. Her father had never wanted her to be a ninja in the first place, and her mother often belittled what she did or pretended that Sakura wasn't a REAL ninja like the ANBU she had seen during the Nine Tails attack.

Her parents started to talk about neighborhood gossip and she stared at her food.

I can't wait to go back to the temple.

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Yondaime's place was empty when Naruto arrived there. He unlocked the door and ran to his section of the apartment to shower and change.

The apartment was located in the temple, and its intended use was for the entertainment of foreign guests. Since the Nine Tails attack, though, the Hokage's living space had been taken by Godaime, and Yondaime (who wanted to stay at the temple, even in his weakened condition) had taken up residence there.

When he stepped out of his room, he found his guardian sitting in the study, looking over some sort of paperwork. Boring Stuff.

Naruto watched him for a moment before the blonde man turned to smile at him.

"Hello, Naruto. I see that you were able to make it home safely."

Naruto took that as his cue to enter his guardian's office. He took a chair on the either side of Yondaime's desk and waited for Yondaime to ask him a question about the mission.

"I've heard that you have a new friend?" he asked after what felt like hours.

Naruto, who could not go extended periods of time in silence, suddenly exploded. "Yeah, there's this guy Haku and he's going to stay here and I'm going to train him--"

Yondaime looked up from his paperwork and smiled. "I've heard from Godaime. It's good that you were able to make a new friend so easily."

His ward nodded, trying to keep silent. He wanted to tell Yondaime about the mission, but…

Restraint. Need to be peaceful. Don't blurt.

"I'm going to be here for a while," Yondaime said then. "Why don't you ask Iruka to take you out for ramen?"

"Sure!" Naruto smirked. "But first, I need to find Haku. He's probably lost without me!"

"Come back before dark," Yondaime said, letting Naruto leave.

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Haku had been able to find his living quarters after a few minutes. It seemed as though he would be rooming with Sasuke, who until then had occupied a room in the temple by himself. Once in the room, he tried to orient himself.

There were two beds on either side of the room. The furnishings were sparse, which he had expected of Sasuke. One of the beds was neatly made, and the other was laden with books and training manuals. There was a desk on the far side of the room, also covered with books.

He wanted to bath rather badly, so he cleared a space on the book-covered bad to set his travel pack down. He suddenly felt much lighter after setting it down, and he stretched before looking through his pack for a change of clothes.

Haku found his way to the bathroom with assistance from the same overweight young man he'd seen earlier, and he thanked him before entering the room. There were no noises, so he assumed that he was alone.

This place looked familiar…like one of the baths at his last Master's bathhouse. He shivered for a moment, then told himself, That won't happen, this is just a normal public bath.

Even so, he wrapped a towel around his waist before reentering the bathing area after taking off his dirty clothes. He washed quickly, then put the towel back on before entering the bath itself.

Haku tried to relax. He closed his eyes and thought, the water feels good. This is perfectly acceptable.

He opened his eyes as he saw someone staring at him from across the bath. Granted, the bath was very large, but….

The young man rolled his eyes as he saw Haku's surprise.

"W-were you here the whole t-time?" Haku asked nervously.

"Yeah," he said. Haku now recognized him as the unreliable ninja who had been training with the overweight guy who'd shown him to the bath room. "I don't see what the trouble is, though…" the unreliable guy added before relaxing.

Haku held his head in his hands. He saw me naked!

"By the way…I don't like introductions, but my name is Nara Shikamaru," the unreliable guy said. "I take it you're staying here for a while?"

Haku nodded, pulling his hands down from his face. "Yes, my name is Haku."

"Just Haku?"

"…yes."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Haku contemplated getting out. He wasn't comfortable in that situation, but he didn't want to admit it by scurrying out of the water.

He heard someone else enter the water, and he looked to his left to see a young man with dark brown hair. He looked familiar, though Haku wasn't sure of why.

Shikamaru seemed to stiffen as soon as he saw the newcomer, but he didn't say anything.

Haku nervously turned toward the newcomer and said, "Hello, my name is Haku."

As soon as Shikamaru heards Haku introduce himself, his attention shot back to him. The newcomer smiled, and Shikamaru knew from that grin that Haku's fate was sealed.

"Hello," he said, "My name is Sai."

"Sai?" Haku asked. It seems as though he doesn't have a last name either.

Sai nodded and watched Haku for a moment before asking, "What do you think of the bath here?"

Haku blinked before smiling back, as politely as he could, and answering, "Well, to be honest, I don't really like public baths."

"That's why you're wearing a towel, right?"

Haku blushed. "Yes."

Shikamaru stared as Sai smiled, and thought for a moment before saying, "I see you shave."

Haku's eyes widened. He hadn't realized that his current lack of body hair might catch anyone's attention…he had just done it for his Master…

"Hey, Sai," Shikamaru said.

Sai turned to him and said, "I know you're lonely without your older girlfriend to comfort you, but don't talk to me, Nara. I'm not a good replacement for her."

Haku wasn't sure why, but the unreliable guy looked flustered and said, "Whatever. Just don't do anything troublesome."

"I won't do anything to trouble you, Nara," Sai said. He turned back to Haku. "So, who did you shave your body hair for?"

Haku swallowed. He didn't know what to say. "I…nobody…"

"No one goes through all that trouble without a reason," Sai said. Haku blushed. "Did you want to look more like a girl?"

"Sai," Shikamaru warned.

Sai ignored him. "Did you shave everywhere, Haku?"

"That's…"

Sai edged closer and reached for his towel.

Fear took over and Haku grabbed Sai's wrist and twisted it behind his back. He only realized what he was doing when he heard Sai's wrist crack.

He released Sai quickly, and the other young man just smiled back at him.

"Not comfortable with that, are we?" he asked. "And I wonder why."

Haku stared at him as he realized that he had somehow made an enemy.

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Quick Quiz 6:

Pair Up Gaara! Provide your own answers!

ONCE AGAIN YOUR ANSWERS WILL NOT CHANGE SHIT. I WANT TO SEE WHICH OF YOU IS THE FUNNIEST. ALSO…WHO COULD YOU EVEN PUT HIM WITH? AND DON'T YOU DARE SAY KANKURO OR TEMARI.

Er, also, Sai is not an original character. He's in the manga. I won't give away too many spoilers here.