Hi! I have no idea when this will get released but oh well!

Because I'm not a very funny person I was thinking about replacing the ever-evasive pun section with random tales of games I have played. Just as a warning, I play some weird stuff. Full-attack-speed-defence-shred-Shen is the one I'm enjoying the most right now.

Oh yeah welcome to the pre-season. Season two begins… I don't know when but it will begin at some point. Not now though. This is the pre-season. Good then. We are in agreement…

On with the chapter I guess. Enjoy.

Chapter 26: Wedding crash

Zoh POV

"Oh that one almost hurt-"

"That one sounded like it should have but it didn't-"

"Okay it's obvious you're not achieving anything with this so try a few to the face-"

"Well that was a silly idea. I will admit telling you to punch me in the face was not my best plan-"

"I'm starting to get some déjà vu… hmm-"

"I think you dis-lodged the bones in my nose with that one."

"Shut the hell up you little brat!

"Why would I do that?"

"I'll break every bone in your god-damn body!"

"Not a great idea considering it's my wedding tomorrow."

"I'm sure you can think of a way to fix a few broken bones."

"Two hundred and six is not a 'few'. Also if you remember correctly I never had much interest in fixing broken bones. All the subjects exploded. Poor rats really."

He delivered a final hook to my jaw then walked to the door.

"Good to see you dad. This was fun."

He walked out and slammed the door shut. I looked around the room and came to the conclusion this was not a place made for fun. The walls were all stone and the only light came from a small dangling light above me. Other than that the room was completely bare, with the exception of the wooden chair I was tied to and the door.

"Funny, on some planets this would be considered a five star hotel."

"Who the hell am I talking to…"

"Must be going insane already. Wonderful."

Ahri POV

The next day (18th May 15:00):

"Ugh I'm so bored!"

I lay down next to the small device, preparing for a long wait for it to do something. The moment I did that it beeped and a hologram appeared from it. I sat up onto my knees and looked at it. It only took me a moment to realise I was looking at a church of some sort full of people in a mix of suits and military uniforms. Soldiers stood at every entrance in full armour with swords that sparked randomly. Zoh was standing opposite Lita and looked really quite irritated. A priest was saying something but I didn't listen to most of it.

"Now then Zoh has a few things to say to everyone. Now as much as none of us want to hear it he does have the God-given right so we have to let him."

"Thanks… whatever your name was. Anyway so I'll just start by saying you all know fuck-all about me. For some reason you all seem to believe that I would get myself in a situation like this un-willingly, yet my IQ is greater than the total sum of everyone else in this room. Although that's not saying much as my guess is a monkey has a higher IQ than everyone else in this room. But that is beside the point. Did anyone here even consider that the teleportation blocker you confiscated from me might not actually work and that I left the real one on Runeterra? But of course you lot won't be worried because I have no way to teleport myself anywhere. This is where the lovely lady who had just appeared on a hologram behind me comes in. Say hello to the people Ahri."

"Uh… hi... how's it going?"

"She's quite something wouldn't you say? Now if you would be so kind as to press the button in front of you I would very much appreciate it."

The guards were making their way towards Zoh so I quickly pressed the button that had appeared below the hologram. He appeared next to me and waved to the hologram.

"Well it was nice getting beaten up for a week but I've had enough of that planet so now teleportation is disabled and you're all stuck there. If you want to fly here in a spaceship it will only take… maybe two hundred light-years. Good luck. With that."

The hologram closed down to a chorus of angry shouting and swords being un-sheathed. We both got up and Zoh turned to me with a smile.

"That's sorted then."

I glared at him for a second before slapping him harshly on the cheek.

"Ooh lah, lah." He joked before pulling me into a kiss. I pushed him away a few seconds later, still trying to be annoyed at him.

"Why didn't you tell me about this plan?"

"I told you I had a surprise which would make it all better didn't I?"

"How was I supposed to deduce that meant you had a way to get back? And also, why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"Okay I didn't tell you because your reaction had to be genuine. Lita would have noticed something was up very quickly if I told you."

"Are you saying I can't fake emotions?"

"I don't know how well you can act. That's the problem."

"We could have gone through it."

"Ahri I came up with this plan just before we fell into that river on the way back."

"But still we-"

"I've had enough of this."

He pulled me back into a kiss but that time I couldn't force myself to push him away. I leaned on him and felt a rush I hadn't experienced since he left. Zoh let me go and I immediately wanted to go back in.

"I'm still mad at you…"

"What can I do to change that?"

"There are a few things… I haven't had sex since you left, for example."

"Perfect. Something we can do later and will likely both enjoy."

"We should probably go back home now. Sam is writing up the papers which say you are no longer able to be a champion at the moment. If you want to keep your job we should go tell him."

"Sorry to be difficult but I don't have any of my stuff. They destroyed most of it so that I could not use it against them while I was back on my planet."

"Ugh. Shen!"

Shen appeared in front of us and actually appeared to be happy under his face-mask when he saw Zoh.

"Zoh you're back. Thank god."

"Good to see you too Shen."

"Bro-hug?"

"Okay."

The two hugged and patted each other's backs.

"Wow. Shen gets a hug before I do."

Zoh let go and turned to me.

"Bro's before ho's."

"…"

"I… could have worded that better…"

I shook my head slowly at him. That was going to come back to haunt him later but I hadn't decided how yet. Eventually, Shen decided to break the silence:

"So then, did you just call me to welcome Zoh back or are you having problems?"

"Well, Zoh doesn't have his teleportation equipment and Sam can't hear me right now so we need help getting back."

"Oh yeah I can sort that. I borrowed this from Zoh ages ago." He stated while pulling a teleport button from his belt.

"The idea of borrowing something is that you eventually give it back." Zoh added before we all appeared back in our living room at the League. Zoh and Shen both stared at something behind me but I didn't realise what until I turned to see Rengar and Nocturne carrying their weight in Zoh's creations.

"Hi Zoh… didn't realise you would be coming back…" Nocturne muttered while putting down the pile of stuff.

"Hi. What were you doing with that stuff?"

"Well… we thought that this stuff would be more useful if we used it to kill some things… so… yeah…"

"I'm not sure how you plan to kill anything with the pieces of a device which turns lava to water but if you think you can go ahead. Not like I'm going to use it."

"I can think of a few ways… ha… good times are coming." Rengar laughed while Nocturne picked up the pile of stuff he dropped.

"So can I! Thanks Zoh. Welcome back by the way."

The two hurried out the door, chuckling as they went. We all looked back at each other and Shen gave a single wave:

"I'll see you two later. Got to get back to the sex-marathon me and Akali were having."

"Bye."

"See you later Shen."

He teleported out so I was alone with Zoh for a few seconds before Sam walked through the door, looking down at some paper he was holding in one hand.

"Hey Ahri I need you to sign this because you were the only other witness to Zoh being taken- oh… hi Zoh."

"Hi."

"I guess this is useless now." He admitted before igniting the paper in his hand.

"Sorry if I wasted a lot of your time."

"No worries. This was only the first of ten documents I would have had to write up so really you have saved me some time."

"Ah good."

"However I now have to go write up two documents on why I mistakenly got permission to write up those other documents. Life as a summoner is hard."

"I used to have a button which created stuff like that for you. Unfortunately it, along with all my other cool stuff, has been destroyed."

"Wow. That sucks. So you don't have your armour or anything?"

"Nope. I'll make some more later."

"If you want to wear any of the skin armours we made for you just ask someone else but me. I have work to do."

"I won't need it for a while so it doesn't really matter. Not like I have any matches coming up anyway."

"True. Just don't get into a fight with anyone bigger than you and you'll be fine."

He walked back out casually so I was finally able to sit down without being rude. Zoh sat down next to me so I put my head down on his lap.

"You have no idea how bored I was while you were gone."

"Still better than my experience away from you."

"What happened?"

"I spent all but one of the days getting beaten up without a chance to fight back. The only day I didn't get beaten up was today."

"You don't look like you've been beaten up at all."

"It was mainly my dad doing it."

"Oh so he went easy on you."

"Nope. He just has a really weak punch."

"To be fair you can take quite a beating."

"Yeah I had a lot of practice."

"…?"

"I've broken about fifty different bones and I got into way more fights than I should have as a kid."

"They can't have gone well considering you were, by your own account, a scrawny guy back then."

"Fights tend to go better if you have a cattle-prod."

"That seems a bit cruel."

"It's fine really. Only one guy had to go to hospital."

"Yeah sure. That's a perfectly normal result to a fight between children."

"On my planet that is good."

"Not here. Not anywhere but your planet. Hey can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Can you say you love me again?"

"I love you with every fibre of my being. Why do you ask?"

"I just like hearing you say it."

"Good because I like saying it."

I was about to continue the conversation when a man in armour similar to Zoh's but in grey not red strolled casually through the front door. He didn't have the banner and his head was covered by a hood which seemed to block all light from his head.

"Hi. Who are you?" Zoh asked.

"Oh, no-one important. I'm technically the Spirit of Defiance but my friends call me Dis."

"Okay but why are you here?"

"I'm just seeing how my favourite experiment is going."

"Your experiment is in here?"

"My experiment is sitting on the sofa with Ahri's head in his lap."

"How am I your experiment and how do you know Ahri's name?"

"It's a long story."

"I have a lot of time."

"Okay well basically, I saw you when you were young and decided you would be interesting to observe for a while. Most of your life I have been watching from the side-lines, only occasionally lending a helping hand when I see fit. Like when you were about to be killed, I thought it would be best to let you live. So I stopped time and scoured the universe for somewhere good to send you as I was bored of your planet. Eventually I found this place and saw a little fox that was about to become a human. The fact that she was perfect for you seemed like it would be interesting. Since then I've tried to take a more active part in your life. Like making that ship full sized and giving Lita that nuke while disguised as a scientist. Oh yes I also made the old you. He won't be bothering you anymore though."

"So you've been watching me since I was a child?"

"Yeah."

"Hmm… one question, did you inspire me to make that armour or did you copy me?"

"You made it and so I decided to update my look a little bit. I doubt you mind… well, I know you don't."

"Why have you decided to tell me this now?"

"Because since I teleported you here I've felt the need to get more and more involved. Now seemed like a good time to become a friend of sorts."

"I'd be fine with being your friend. Seeing your face would be a good start."

He pulled the hood back but there was nothing underneath it.

"Don't have one."

The spirit put his hood back up and took a seat opposite us.

"Well how about you close the door then we can get to know each other properly."

He flicked his wrist and the door closed.

"What do you want to know?"

"Uh… what do you actually do? Just piss about with the lives of people?"

"No not just that. I'm part of a council of spirits which work to stop the universe from fucking itself sideways. We only meet every few thousand years unless something really stupid happens so we all have our hobbies. Myself and the spirits of war and vengeance both do this a lot."

"How old are you?"

"How long has the universe existed?"

"Don't know."

"Longer than that. Not by much though."

"And you took an interest in me, why?"

"Because there's something about you that makes things happen in your presence. I don't know why but stuff always happens around you."

"So did you also stop me ageing?"

"Yeah. I saw that Ahri was going to have the same thing so I decided to let you two be together for a while?"

"Thanks. Ahri have you got anything to ask?"

"Yeah. How do we know that any of this is true?"

"How do you suppose I could prove it to you?"

"Tell me something that only I would know."

"… For your first hour as a human you mentally tried to say gloves but instead kept saying glubs."

"Okay I believe you. If I ever ask you a similar question say something that isn't so embarrassing."

"Would you prefer I say about how you covered up a fart by having an orgasm last time the two of you had sex?"

"Ugh… fuck you."

"I knew you were going to say that."

"Shall we go for a stroll through the League?" Zoh suggested.

"Yeah sure. It'll be fun having no-one know who I am but you two."

I lifted my head from Zoh's lap and got up off the sofa. Both of them followed suit and Zoh took hold of my hand.

"Oh yeah and I should probably warn you, if the higher level summoners realise who I am they will flip shits."

"Why?"

"I may have accidentally made their previous leader disappear from existence. It wasn't completely my fault though. The Spirit of Growth helped."

"How many of you are there?"

"There's one of me."

"You know what I mean."

"There are two hundred main spirits."

"Oh. So are you supposed to be gods or something?"

"Nope. To put it in a way you can both understand, the universe we come from was destroyed. The resulting explosion led to the creation of this universe. We were the only species to survive so we all took an oath to not let the same happen to this universe. After a while our job became considerably easier as the amount of magic in this place grew."

We got walking out the door and down the hallway. Along the way Dis explained a lot about his people and eventually we got onto a subject that seemed to disturb him quite a bit:

"So do you have a family or anything?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Come on, we are the best people to talk to if you have family problems. You know that better than most."

"Speak for yourself. I got on fine with my family." I retorted, only slightly offended by his words.

"The rest of your family are a different species. If that's not a problem I don't know what is."

"You just spent a week getting beaten up by your dad so I'd say my family situation is better."

"Yeah whatever. So what about your family Dis?"

"Eh let's not talk about it. They're like hipsters. Normal people just try to ignore them."

"Just tell us."

"Well… you see… the thing is… they are… all… nudists."

"Really?"

"Yeah… it's not a pretty sight."

"They don't… visit… do they?"

"Every few thousand years or so. We met last century so you're fine for now."

"Good because I don't think I would like what I would see if they did visit."

"You wouldn't. Trust me."

We got to the main hall of the League and received a few confused stares. Eventually Kayle flew over to ask the question everyone was thinking:

"Hey Zoh and Ahri. Who's this?"

"The Spirit of Defiance. His name is Dis apparently."

"Is that short for something?"

"Disocious-bakuda. But that's a mouthful so just call me Dis. Nice to meet you Kayle. I see those scars on your stomach you received yesterday are starting to recede."

"How do you know I have scars under my armour? Were you following me?"

"Of course not. I just looked back over your life now. Also I should say that no, you shouldn't go confront your sister today. She is on a romantic boat-trip around the Shadow Isles with Nocturne."

"How the hell do you know all this?"

"As I said, I just looked over your life a few seconds ago. Also I'm reading your mind right now."

"Alright then, what am I thinking?"

"You're saying I'm 'a bit of a freak'."

"Okay then I believe you. Are you here to become a champion or something?"

"No. I have no right to take part in the matches which decide the future of this world. I'm just here having a walk with Zoh and Ahri. You will probably see me around here more often from now on."

"Well if you are going to stay you'll need a visitor pass."

"I have one. See." He pointed out as a visitor tag appeared clipped to his armour."

"I'm glad you're not a champion. You'd be over-powered as hell."

"Yeah and if your summoner tried to control me he would be sent to court for attempting to wield more power than is safe to those nearby."

"Indeed. I will see you all later."

She flew away so we got on with out walk. I was starting to get annoyed by Dis taking away Zoh's attention from me. That was a mistake.

"Ahri I will leave you two soon. Don't worry, you will have Zoh's full attention soon enough."

Zoh gave me a look which instantly managed to make me feel selfish. That wasn't his intention so he let go of my hand and draped his arm over my shoulder, soon after placing a kiss on my cheek.

A few seconds later we all sat down by the fountain in the middle of the main hall. Out of no-where Dis had some champagne in his hand.

"So then, taking into consideration everything I have done for you, is there anything you would like to say to me Zoh?"

"Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. Especially helping me meet Ahri."

"You're welcome. I'm always happy to help a good person. Now unless you have anything else to ask me- oh wait, you do. This is always my favourite one."

"Why are you the Spirit of Defiance when you don't seem to do much defying?"

"We were all allocated to be the spirits of something when we signed out pact. I was randomly assigned to be the Spirit of Defiance. All it means is that I represent all the defiance in the universe when we have the council meetings."

"Thanks again for everything. I'll see you whenever."

"Goodbye. Oh yeah one more thing I don't observe you all the time. I know when something is about to happen which would be interesting to me. So I don't watch you two have sex or anything. That would be some kind of meta-porn. Or something."

"Bye headless guy." I concluded. Dis vanished a second later leaving just a glass of champagne where he was sitting.

A few hours later (21:00):

For the first time in far too long I was lying down on the bed with Zoh's hands on my back. He was massaging my shoulders and upper-back in the same way he had done a while ago. I hadn't intended on him doing this when I laid down but I would be the last person to complain about it.

"So this is how you say sorry for leaving me for a week? Not bad."

"What? I was just doing this because I wanted to."

"Are you half-naked for the same reason?"

"Are you complaining that I'm in just my boxers?"

"Of course not. I'm just curious like usual."

Instead of replying Zoh decided to pull the top half of my clothes off. I wondered why for a moment before he started massaging where my clothes were. He was doing a very good job so I stopped my tails from being annoying.

"If you could do the same thing on my front I would be more than okay with it."

"I'll get to there in a minute."

"Ooh that feels nice… hey can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Why did they let you live after you killed their emperor?"

"Because I'm more important than him."

"But isn't the point of an emperor that they are more important than anyone else?"

"I'll explain it in the best way I can. Say ten people were on an inflatable life raft in the middle of the ocean. However, the raft has a hole in it and the only way to keep it afloat is for someone to continually pump it up. Who would you say is more important, the guy who pumps it up day and night or the guy who is in charge because their dad did something important?"

"When you put it like that I see why they let you live. Although really if someone could continually pump up a life raft day and night I would be confused yet amazed."

"Eh, I could do it."

"Yeah, right. You can't even run for a few hours without getting tired."

"I can. I just prefer not to."

"Don't worry I was just irritating you for the sake of irritating you. We both know that you can go on for as long as you want. If you get what I mean…"

"Obviously. The only time we ever stop is when you accidentally knock me out."

"While I hate to admit it, sometimes it's not accidental. After a while I get tired but as I said I don't like to admit it so I just knock you out to allow myself to rest."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I don't want to have any secrets that I don't share with you."

"I guess this means you're going to want to ask me something that I wouldn't tell anyone else."

"Precisely. It's simple really; did you ever have a crush in school?"

"Nope. The bad part is I'm not lying."

"Oh really come on now. Surely there was someone who you were attracted to."

"Well, at the start of high school I noticed a few who were okay. The problem I always had was that I can't find someone attractive unless they have a nice personality. Unfortunately, all the women in that school were utter bitches."

"You seemed quite attracted to me when we met."

"Of course I was. When we met you were incredibly friendly. Nice people have nice personalities almost a hundred per cent of the time."

"I don't remember doing anything particularly friendly."

"You hugged me a few minutes after we met."

"Most people do that… Okay some… A few… I do."

"You have only done that for me."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time. Are you going to suggest you didn't enjoy it?"

"I never said any such thing and never will. Hell, it started this whole thing so I'm very happy with it altogether."

"We can hug now if you want."

"We can hug whenever we want. I'm barely ever in a mood where I will do this willingly so how about you enjoy this while you can?"

"Okay. You're doing a good job of making me forget about all the stress and sadness I've been through this past week."

"Once again let me just say how sorry I am for not telling you the plan. I'm not good with last second things."

"It's okay. You're here now and that's what matters."

"Yeah. Although I have to say it does feel weird to not have Lita being a constant worry anymore. I rather like it."

"I get the same feeling. The difference is I'm already mentally preparing for another person just like her to come in and annoy us."

"That would be a bit cliché don't you think."

"Maybe."

I brushed his hands off by back with a few tails then turned myself over. He stared at me with an eyebrow raised.

"Do you want to have sex now or shall we wait?"

"Would I be doing this if I wanted to wait?"

"Considering you do this all the damn time anyway it gets hard to tell."

"Ugh."

I slid the bottom half of my dress off and threw it across the room.

"How about now?"

"Normally I would take this is a message to close the window so you don't get cold. However, it's already closed so I guess you want to fool around."

"Finally he gets it. No get down there and do something kinky."

Zoh POV

A few hours later (19th May 01:00):

Already I was regretting the decision to re-forge my armour inside. The heat was really starting to get to me even though I had the window open and an electric fan blowing cold air into my face. I just reminded myself that I was almost done so I soldiered on.

After a few more minutes of trying not to focus on the many hundreds of negative things about the situation I was done. I took a moment to look at my new armour and felt like something was missing. For a while I stood over my still red-hot armour, utterly perplexed.

Suddenly I realised I still had the most difficult bit to do. My physics-defying axe.

"Zoh… why is there a medieval-looking forge in my room?"

"I'm re-building all my cool stuff."

"Okay."

"Aren't you annoyed?"

"Nope. Not after sex like that. I can't think about anything negative really."

"Good to know."

I put down the hammer I had been using on the anvil and turned around to face her. She was wearing, though very loosely, a silk dressing gown with her usual red and white colours.

Even in the dim light I could tell that she wasn't trying to be seductive as she looked barely awake. I let myself be a bit more at ease with that knowledge.

"It looks like you're done so why not come back to bed?"

"I'm not finished yet. Still got to make my axe."

"Fine then. I'll just stay here and wait."

"You can go back to bed if you want."

"I don't. It's not like I could get to sleep anyway."

She approached me and sat down on the floor. Ahri tugged my hand a few times so I sat down with her.

"How much sleep did you actually get while I was gone?"

"I got to sleep at about twelve then woke up at seven or, if I was lucky, eight. Most of the time I would wake up and try to cuddle with you then realise I was alone."

"Thankfully, that will never happen again."

"Good. It got really depressing. Now give me a kiss then get back to work. Unlike you, I have a match to take part in tomorrow and the last thing I want it another twat complaining that I'm a bit more 'sluggish' than usual."

"You realise it's one in the morning right now?"

"… Hurry up please."

I gave Ahri a kiss then stood up and got to work on rebuilding my axe. For some reason I already had a cast for my axe which I could not remember making. The first time I made my axe it was from many hundreds of smaller pieces that took a very long time to put together. When I found the time to make a cast of it escaped me until I remembered I made it for that exact situation when I realised that I didn't have to make it out of many pieces.

"Ahri what should I make my axe from: antimatter or dark matter?"

"Which one is better?"

"For this they are essentially the same."

"Antimatter."

"Good because I haven't spent the time to discover dark matter yet."

An hour of explosions and occasionally setting myself on fire later, the axe was done. I put it down next to the completed armour set then went back to sit down next to Ahri who was barely keeping herself awake.

"Can we go to bed now?"

"Yeah. Although before we do would you mind telling me where you got this thing. I'm sure we would have got it before if they were selling it locally and I would have carried it along with a ton of other stuff."

"I made it. While you were gone I learned to make stuff like this. I was going to use it when I wasn't trying to seduce you but it's so thin that I don't think that will work."

"Does it even keep you warm?"

"Not really. I only intended to use this in here and this place is constantly warm anyway."

"Oh. Well, all I will say is that you did a good job of it. Now let's go."

I pushed myself up and offered her my hand which Ahri used to pull herself up. Just before we walked out the door she looked back with a confused face.

"Why is all that stuff glowing?"

"It does that for a while before it gets put into the device."

"Why?"

"I don't know. As far as I'm concerned it is just to look cool. Which it does."

"Aren't you going to try it on before you put it in that thing? It could be too small or too big."

"Nope. I've made a ton of these so I don't think I could possibly make it wrong. Also there's something on it that I don't want anyone to see yet. It's a secret."

"Can I see?"

"Nope."

"You can show me."

"Nope."

"Why?"

"It's a secret made for you in particular."

"Ooh now I'm excited. Let's go to bed so that tomorrow comes faster."

Ahri pulled me by my arm out the door and towards my room. When we got inside she let go of me and started removing her dressing gown as she walked towards the bed. I followed her closely, trying to stop myself from staring down at her arse. A few seconds later we got to the bed and she got in. I got in next to her and found that a few seconds later she was clinging to my stomach.

"Having fun down there?"

"Shush. I want to get to sleep as soon as possible. Whatever this secret is I'm looking forward to it more than I should."

"It's not really that big of a thing."

"Hence why I said 'more than I should'."

"Good to know you're enthusiastic."

"Yep."

I drifted off to sleep slowly. The last conscious thought I had was of the little secret I made for Ahri.

Later that morning (10:30):

The outside was so dreary that, for the first time in ages, Ahri didn't want to go out and do something. Shen and Akali had 'duties' to attend to while Nocturne, Morgana along with Rengar were all out on a walk. Knowing them that probably meant they were ruining the lives of some innocent people for fun.

I was brought out of my daydreaming by the sound of Ahri groaning next to me. When I looked over she was slumped over the arm-rest of the sofa on her stomach. Her face was buried in the sofa with a pillow on top of her head. All of her tails were wiggling around randomly above her.

"You okay there?"

"No. Can you please tell me what it is?" She pleaded. Her voice was muffled but I could still easily understand what she was saying.

"That would ruin the surprise."

"I've been waiting long enough already. Why not just give me the surprise now?"

"The longer you wait the better it will be when you see it."

"Ugh!"

She thumped the sofa weakly with both hands and kicked her legs around. The way she was acting reminded me of when I was a child and my birthday was coming up. Back then my mother kept everything hidden so well that no matter what I did to find my presents I never got a thing before she decided it was time that I did. That reminded me that I should have probably gone to visit my mother at some point to say I was back.

Once again my attention was taken away from my thoughts and to Ahri who was now hanging by her knees from the backrest of the sofa. All I could see was her lower legs and feet but I could tell she was still using the inpatient frown from earlier.

I leaned over backwards to see that she was holding her thumb out in front of her and staring at it intently.

"Aha I found it!"

"Found what?"

"My blind spot."

"Well done… want me to applaud or something?"

She dropped her hand down and stared at me.

"How about you show me the secret as an award?"

"Okay if you really-"

I was cut off by the door opening. Ahri pushed herself up while I turned around to see Sam leaning against the doorframe.

"Hello. You two are going to need to come with me."

"Why?"

"Basically my bosses have said that every champion has to go to the meeting hall for a 'special announcement'."

"What's it about?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you but… it's Tryndamere's fault."

Next to me Ahri giggled a bit.

"Oh I know what this is about."

"What?"

"Tryndamere went to an interview and the interviewer asked him a basic science question which he got wrong. Twice."

"Ha! But what does this have to do with us?"

"We'll have to wait to find out."

"Come on now or we'll be late." Sam announced. We got up and followed him as he went out the door. As we walked along the halls I noticed that Ahri was trying to get my attention discreetly until eventually she decided to just punch me in the arm.

"What is it?"

"Since when did we have a meeting hall?"

"I was going to ask you the same question."

"Did either of you two ever wonder what most of this building is used for? You've seen maybe… a quarter of it."

"I just assumed the rest of it was extra space because they ran out of ideas to fill rooms." I admitted.

"There's so much you could use. As mentioned we have a meeting hall which is huge. But we also have a ton of science labs, a gym, an indoor snowboarding/skiing area and a room which has a bunch of materials and stuff for people to make whatever the hell they want with. Although most of it is being converted as part of a big operation we are doing at the moment. Hint: it's connected to the announcement."

We got into a long conversation where I slowly tried to get more and more information on the announcement from the summoner but to no avail. He was smarter than I thought, which was a welcome change from the normal level of intelligence at the League.

By the time the conversation had died down I was utterly lost but thankfully we turned a corner and I saw Kayle hanging out next to a door. The summoner stopped walking then indicated to the door.

"You two go ahead. I'm not needed in there so I'm going home."

"See you later."

"Goodbye."

He walked off as me and Ahri walked towards the door. When we got there Kayle signalled for us to go in with a smile. The moment we walked into the room I realised the scale of the meeting we were about to take part in. It had to be at least a hundred by hundred metre semi-circular room with a high ceiling. The floor went down the closer you got to the straight wall so that the people at the back could see over the people in front of them. Apart from that the room had hundreds of chairs for all the champions and summoners to sit on as well as a podium with microphones at the other end of the room to us.

Most of the chairs had already been filled but we found two quite close to the front with our names on them. On my right was Zac and on Ahri's left was Brand. Zac seemed friendly enough but Brand barely spoke a word and spent most of his time checking to make sure he was not setting anything on fire.

After a while of random chatter the entire hall turned quiet as a summoner stood at the podium holding a piece of paper.

"Welcome summoners and champions. Some of you may have guessed why we are here but for those who don't know: we have recently had a media disaster created by Tryndamere's lack of basic scientific knowledge. This has brought the fact that very few of you have had a formal education to light. So, we have decided that every champion must participate in a few tests before they are allowed to appear to the public outside of matches. Of course this means that everyone will also need to take part in a few lessons on the important subjects before they take these tests. Unfortunately we do not have nearly enough summoners with nothing to do to teach these subjects to the rest of you so a few of the more intelligent champions have been chosen to act as teachers until all the champions have done their tests. The teachers are as follows: Caitlyn shall be teaching English, Heimerdinger will be teaching maths, Zilean will teach history, Sona will teach music, Udyr shall teach geography, Zoh will be teaching science and Fiora will be supervising as a sort of 'headmaster'. Everyone else will be taking part in these lessons when they are not in matches. Timetables will be given out tomorrow and the first week shall begin next Monday. Hopefully you will all gain something from this and we might be able to avoid another incident. As always come and see me afterwards if you have questions. Dismissed."

Everyone started clearing out but me and Ahri sat still for a while. After a few more seconds I looked at Ahri who stared right back.

"So this is going to be fun."

"Yeah. It's a really great way for you to have another reason to think yourself above of other people."

"I don't think that… I know that."

She looked at me with a slight frown to which I returned a cheesy smile. A moment later I patted her on the head and got up to make my way to the summoner. Ahri got up and followed behind me.

"I hate it when you do that."

"What, you don't like being patted on the head?"

"No. It's condescending."

"Oh look you learned a big word. Must have heard it from me."

"…"

"I'm kidding of course. Tell you what I will make it up to you. No homework for a week. Actually that's too generous. No homework for a day. Maybe."

"You are too kind."

"That's a detention for sarcasm."

"If you think for even a second that I will be going to any detention you give me-"

"I was, once again, kidding."

We got to the summoner at the podium just as a few other champions said their goodbyes to him and walked away.

"Ah Zoh. Good to see you got back from that 'holiday' in time for this."

"Holiday? So that's what they're calling it."

"Indeed. It would look rather bad if we lost two champions in a day don't you think?"

"True. So can I just ask why it's me who is teaching this stuff? Obviously I can but there has got to be plenty of other people who could as well."

"Yes but the thing is none of them have the same… presence, as you. Most people still think that you are the big evil guy who committed genocide on his own people. That is the kind of person people fear which makes you perfect for the job of a teacher."

"But I spend most of my time walking around in a suit going to extreme lengths not to cause anyone or anything harm."

"Ever considered that a lot of champions have not worked out that you are the same guy as the one who takes part in the matches?"

"How? It's so damn obvious. I've even had an interview where I explained everything."

"We're very good at suppressing things like that. The reporter you talked to didn't publish the story in return for no small sum of money. As for the Journal articles you have had… well… let's just say people haven't trusted that newspaper since it came under this new management."

"Okay so am I going to need to wear my armour during lessons to keep up this charade?"

"Nah. Eventually we will have to tell people who the man in the suit is so it may as well be now."

"Fine. But next time please do tell me that I am being volunteered for something before you tell everyone else."

"I'm going to have to say maybe to that."

"Ugh. Sometimes you summoners really piss me off."

"Being an arse-hole is one of the perks of this job."

Now we can have some school dramas! Yay!

But I shall not dawdle on that. Rather I shall tell you about the notes which are coming up…

Now!

Number one: I have come up with a great idea for how to work this pre-season stuff. For now there won't be a 'bad guy'. Instead it's all going to be rather fun and sunshine filled until the next season starts at which point there will be a really bad dude. Or dude-ette. I have not decided that yet.

Number two: that main writing bit up there is around seven thousand, two hundred words. A big success in my opinion. These note bits make up the rest.

Number three: 20,000 views! Woo!

Number four: I'm adding Malzahar soon. And oh damn. I have a fun personality thought up for him. I'm getting giddy just thinking about it.

End of notes and end of chapter but beginning of pre-season!

Goodbye.

Hugs (-0_0)-