Hi. I had an idea. Enjoy.

PUN OF THE DAY: What do you call an un-dead scientist? A Sion-tist.

Come on. That was good. I should get paid to come up with those.

Imagine if I got paid for writing this stuff… that'd be cool. Maybe then I would actually put these out on time… probably not.

Actually speaking of when these chapters are released all the other fan-fictions that I follow are taking ages to put out their chapters. I feel like I set the trend of ballsing up when these get released. The next thing I shall popularise is eating raw carrots with tomato ketchup! DO IT MINIONS! BAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh yeah one thing I should mention is this chapter was supposed to happen a few months ago. Unfortunately the meaning of the word 'banter' has be re-defined so many times recently that I've had to delay this. I think it's going to stay the way it is for a while now though.

P.S. if some random hipster says they commenced in banter before it was cool I will punch your face so hard you'll have to shit your nose out the back!

I'm going to go get something to eat then come back and finish these notes.

Kay I'm back.

End of notes.

Chapter 28: Banter-Klaus

After being in that room for a few minutes I had already decided I disliked it greatly. The rows of seats in front of me for the students looked more uncomfortable than my own and the giant window which replaced the wall on my right side was making me think that by the end of the day the right side of my face would be way more tanned than the left.

In my mind the worst part was that I had to take off my tweed jacket so that I didn't melt into a puddle on the floor.

A few seconds later I realised that everyone was finally in their seats so I got up from my wooden chair and went around to the front of my desk to address the class:

"Hello class I'm Zoh. Don't bother learning my name because I won't bother learning yours. Basically this lesson is going to be boring because I have to find out how smart you all are so I know where to start. So there is a test on all your desks. Do it. No talking or I will hurt you."

Everyone got on with their tests and in a few seconds a hand was already up.

"What is it Darius?"

"What's an atom?"

"…" I face-palmed for a moment then pulled my head back up.

"First off I can't tell you because it's a test. Secondly do you really not know what that is?"

"I do not."

I face-palmed again and continued speaking without bringing my head back up straight:

"Just guess. I don't care."

No-one else appeared to need help so I went back and sat down on my chair. Moments later I regretted sitting down.

I picked up a book I had on my desk but had to put it right back down when another hand went into the air. Of course, it was Ahri.

"What is it Ahri?"

"What are we getting for lunch later?"

"We aren't going to get anything if you don't get back to work."

"We could have a chat instead of doing work."

"Just get on with your test."

"Do you dislike talking to me that much?"

She turned to Diana who was next to her and continued:

"He's just dating me for my body."

"Are we really having this conversation right now?"

"Oh you know I'm just trying to antagonise you."

"Please, for the love of all that is holy, get on with the god-damn test."

"Kay. I was just waiting for the magic word."

She got back to work and immediately another hand was in the air. This time it was Yasuo.

"What is it? I swear to god if it's stupid I will throw something sharp or explosive at you."

"Lux keeps kicking me under the desk."

"He started it!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes you did!"

"Both of you stop kicking each other right now! I don't give a damn who started it because I'm finishing it!"

They both stopped kicking each other and got on with the exam. Finally no-one had any problems so I picked up my book and started reading it.

Quite some time later I decided they had been given enough time so I threw the book away and got up.

"Everyone put down your pens or pencils and pass your tests to the front."

A few seconds later I went around and took in all the tests. I sat on the front of my desk and looked through them all.

"Terrible, awful, not bad, good, copied from the guy before, copied from the guy who copied the other guy, utterly atrocious. Okay so this class is really quite a mixed bag. Because of that I'm going to just go through everything basic. Anyone got a problem with that?"

Out of the one hundred and twenty or so people in the room about five didn't put their hands up.

"Ah wonderful, because I don't care if you have a problem with that. Now we are going to learn about forces. Anyone know what they are already? Or can anyone guess?"

All the hands went down as soon as the last few sentences left my mouth.

"This is going to be a long day…"

A few agonising hours later (16:30):

Ahri stared intently at my choice of colour as if her decision actually mattered. We were standing in front of my upright armour, although she was taking so long I was beginning to consider sitting down.

Just as I was starting to get pins and needles in my feet Ahri pointed at it and declared:

"I think it would be better in blue."

"This armour is supposed to look over-bearing. Blue doesn't help that."

"Depends on the blue."

"Tell you what if you can find a kind of blue that looks threatening in some way I will get you an award."

"Didn't you say that the armour isn't supposed to look threatening?"

"I said that about my old armour. This armour is really supposed to be threatening."

"It looks pretty much the same though."

I pressed a button on the side of the helmet to bring up the HUD. After a few button presses I got it to display a big red button.

"Press that."

Ahri did as I asked and the moment she did the armour erupted into movement. Every spot which had been covered in darkness began emanating a dark red glow. From behind the helmet spires of volcanic rock shot up, covered in a thin layer of fire. The elbow and knee pads became spiked and sharp while a blood-red cape rolled out from the back of the armour. Everything on the helmet continued the theme of becoming spiked as the metal paint all over the armour burned away to reveal the matte metal underneath.

"I couldn't just meet a normal guy who has a normal job which doesn't include all this could I?" Ahri sighed.

"That would be rather boring wouldn't it? And, let's be honest, you could never live with anyone normal."

"Neither could you."

"Exactly. Normal stuff is boring. That's why I make stuff like this."

Ahri shrugged and sat down on the chair in our main room.

"So if you've spent all this time working on just this armour, what about the rest of your armour sets?"

"That's the beauty of this armour. It works as all of my armours."

"I'm not going to get dragged into a pronoun game with you so I'll just guess that you can press buttons on that hologram thing to make it change into various different types of armour."

"Exactly. I decided that having an axe which defies the laws of physics was not enough so I made armour which does the same thing. The coolest thing about this for me is that I have managed to compress matter." I stated while sitting down on the arm-rest of Ahri's chair.

"Is that difficult?"

"Yeah."

She grabbed my arm and squeezed it.

"That wasn't too difficult."

"Because that's not what I'm talking about."

"Fine… How did we get to this situation?"

"I was asking you what colour you think my armour should be normally."

"Oh. Just keep it red most of the time and some of them can be green or something. I don't really care."

"Fine."

I leaned over and pressed a button on the table to get rid of the armour. Once that was done I sat back on the chair and looked down at Ahri.

"Are you still feeling weird like earlier?"

"Yeah. I'm starting to get used to it actually. Although I still don't like it too much."

"Do you feel physically ill or is it more of a mental thing? Because I can solve both."

"Like I said before it's like I've lost something. Imagine if you suddenly didn't want to invent anything anymore. It's a bit like that."

"Sounds awful. I'm not a great psychologist so how about we go say thanks to Lissandra and Malzahar instead of dwelling on it?"

"Kay."

Before we could get up all the light was drained from the room. A second later a light flashed and Lissandra and Malzahar were standing in front of us. Before I could get a good look at them the light was gone again. By the time it returned they were sitting on the sofa casually.

"We are so damn dramatic." Lissandra stated.

"We are."

They high-fived then waved at us.

"Hi. I assume you're Lissandra and Malzahar." Ahri greeted.

"Please, I'm Banter-Klaus and this is Bantersaurus-Rex." Malzahar corrected while swatting away a tiny voidling that was pestering him like a fly.

"I don't get it."

"They're both banter puns. Do you know what that is?"

"Nope."

"Zoh you know right?"

"Yeah. The idea is that you ridicule someone for doing something wrong and both laugh about it because it's just banter."

"That sounds kind of cruel for someone who doesn't get it."

"Actually that is one thing you have to remember, never try banter with Americans. They usually just get offended."

"What's an American?"

"I can't really describe them without being offensive so I won't bother. Just forget I mentioned them."

"Sure."

All of a sudden Lissandra grabbed Malzahar's chest with one hand.

"Whoa, why are we here?"

Malzahar grabbed her hand and held it there.

"I have no idea. Also, why are you grabbing my clothes?"

"Don't know. I think I'm subconsciously comparing you to that guy."

"Why?"

"I don't know! I'm freaking out man!"

"Argh!"

"Let's go fight or something!"

"Yeah!"

"Such hype!"

They both disappeared before either me or Ahri could say our thanks.

"What strange people… we'll be good friends with them."

"Oh definitely."

Ahri rested her head on my leg then shifted it around to get comfortable. I took my chance to ruin the moment by patting her on the head in as patronising a way as I could.

"You're such a twat."

"I know."

"Ugh, your leg isn't even very comfortable."

"Funnily enough our species hasn't evolved comfortable legs. I wonder why."

"Clearly we aren't the same species then. Feel mine."

"Ahri I'm not going to feel your legs."

"Do it."

"Ahri-"

"Do it."

She moved her head off my leg so that I could reach down, which I did. When I felt her legs I found that they seemed like they would be quite comfortable. From the sofa I heard the sound of Dis chuckling.

"Kinky."

I removed my hand from Ahri's let and turned to face him.

"Speaking of which how was your time with my mother?"

"I don't mean to brag but… it makes that look like a handshake."

"She's had like, three kids now. It must be a train wreck down there." Ahri added.

"Ahri!"

"What? I'm just saying, it can't be holding together well."

"What the fuck?"

After some more laughing Dis came back into the conversation.

"Don't tell anyone this but; I have a few ways of… let's say 'tightening' stuff down there."

"I don't want to hear this!"

"Why would I care if you don't want to hear this? I can make the conversation go on for eternity in your mind if I want."

"I like this guy." Ahri giggled, much to the amusement of Dis.

"Don't get in a strop Zoh it's all in good fun. Anyway I came here with a purpose. That being, would you mind if I joined in for your next class? I have to take a few photos for your mother."

"Why?"

"I don't know. When you have lived as long as I have you realise that it is best to not look through the minds of a few people."

"If you must then you can but if you would please stay quiet for the most part I would appreciate it."

"It'll be like I'm not there."

"Is that all?"

"Actually one thing I should ask is: how close are you to inventing time travel? It's one of the things no-one can do properly except that Zilean guy but he's a douche about it."

"You know very well that I have never even bothered to try to invent it. If you want I could give it a try but having a time machine explode might be a bad thing."

"It will be. In about ninety of the hundred most likely outcomes it explodes. So uh… don't fuck up."

"What's the most likely one?"

"… I think it would best we don't think about it."

"If you say so. I'll figure something out."

"That would be great. Magic is fun and all but as soon as you try to use it for time travel it creates a small black hole. See you later or tomorrow or… you get the idea."

"Goodbye."

"Have fun with Zoh's mum."

He disappeared while I grumbled at Ahri's remark.

"Damn it Ahri."

"As he said earlier it's all in good fun."

After glaring at Ahri for a moment I looked back over at the sofa and realised that there was a note on it. I walked over to it and picked it up.

"What does it say?" Ahri asked.

"It's from Dis. Apparently he has worked out why you're feeling weird and he finds it hilarious. Also we should try finding out what it is ourselves before night."

"What does he mean by that?"

"I don't know."

"Hey Zoh what science are you going to learn next?"

I shrugged at her while still reading through the many P.S's on the note.

"Okay then you're going to learn psychology."

"Aw but it's so dull until you get good at it."

"Does it look like I care?"

"You know I used to carry a paintbrush around with me so that I could draw on people's faces to make it look like they cared after saying something like that."

"If you paint on my face I will kick you in the balls."

"That's why I said 'used to'."

"Good. Now put that down and come over here."

I did what she said and sat back down on the arm-rest.

"This is why we normally sit down on the sofa." I joked, prompting Ahri to stand up.

"Sit down properly." She stated, an order I was all too happy to follow. When I was sat down in the chair she sat on top of me and wrapped one arm around the back of my neck. Her tails pulled together into one and draped over the arm-rest.

"Now then, I have a few all-important questions to ask you. Well… one of them is important the other is just important to me."

"Don't blame me if my answers are a bit nonsensical."

"Why?"

"Because I can't stop staring at those."

"I thought we got over this?"

"So did I but… just look at them. Magnificent doesn't do them justice."

"Yeah I know right." Ahri laughed reminiscently, leaving me unsure what she was actually reminiscing about.

"But anyway, first question is: what kind of music do you like? It occurred to me recently that we have never talked about it."

"This might make me sound like a bigger twat than usual but I don't like a specific genre of music but instead I just appreciate talent. For example, I utterly despise everything about the kind of music you sing but I still enjoy your music because you're actually a good singer. Another example would be that I like a few of the songs in the new Pentakill album yet really don't like Thornmail and Orb Of Winter. To be honest, they're a bit shit."

"I don't like any of it really. Although I got to say those muscles are amazing. Much better than yours."

"Okay then I'll go spend a few months exercising on some random planet and you can stay here waiting. But don't worry, when I come back I'll look like man-sized bicep with a face glued on."

"Please don't. Also I've just come up with another question: how come you can put together a black-hole toilet in a few seconds yet it took you a few hours to make the pool table?"

"Can I first say that a black-hole toilet sounds like an amazing idea and I really want to try it. The answer to your question is that I could have thrown together a pool table in a few minutes if I wanted. But, I realised that it was something I wanted to keep in my room so it had to be high quality. If you went and looked at it now you would see something that you hadn't noticed before because it is full of little intricacies that make it better than a metal box."

"So basically if I ever buy you wine it would have to cost the same as a diamond the size of Volibear?"

"Actually I wouldn't really care because I know what's on your mind if you buy me wine."

"I don't think I ever had before."

"Actually you did. Some time after a years' worth of alcohol and sex in a few hours we must have forgotten about it. I'm only remembering it now because I was and still am surprised by how much you can drink and still stay standing. Seriously, that is a skill."

"Thanks. Now that you mention it we haven't gotten properly pissed in a while."

"I know. Really disappointing isn't it?"

"Yep. Now this is the serious question so I'm just going to do something first." Ahri announced before pulling up her dress so that my view was blocked.

"You have probably been asked this a million times but… why don't you spend your time solving all the world's problems? Curing all the diseases, destroying all the warmongers, etc."

"Do you want to know what happened last time I tried that? One planet got so far ahead that it managed to become an empire that seemingly had no end. By the time I attempted to help other people they were already being beaten and brutalised to the point where they didn't want to fight back."

"But surely curing the worst diseases can't have a bad effect."

"It does. I can't go around giving the cure to every individual person so I give it to a group who can then deal with it. You can tell how well that would work out."

"The moment you left they would see the cure as a way to get power…"

"Exactly. I can't trust anyone because no-one else sees things the same way I do."

"You can trust me, right?"

"Yeah I was just exaggerating for dramatic effect. I trust you more than anyone else. Even more than my mother."

"You don't mean that."

"I do. After everything that's happened I can't help but trust you completely."

"Sounds like it's as good a time as any to bring this out."

I was expecting a few things at that point. To my surprise, her tails pulled up a bottle of wine and two glasses from somewhere.

"This is why I asked. Morgana helped me pick it out. Apparently she's a wine connoisseur."

After one look at the price tag on it I let out a gasp.

"Is this stuff made from liquefied happiness or something?"

"No but apparently the guy who made it spent fifty years of his life trying to make the perfect wine and this was it."

"How did you afford this?"

"We get paid SOOO much Zoh. We never spend any of it because everything gets paid for us here, so it just accumulates in our banks."

"Got to love this job."

After a few glasses of wine we decided to go build some sandcastles. Of course we decided it was an activity best done in swim-wear.

While I worked on the main castle Ahri created the towers and courtyards. Only when I realised I was no longer taller than it did I stop building upwards. Before I started on the inside I looked down to see how Ahri was getting along to find that she had finished the towers and was building an entire village around the castle with a market and town hall.

It was cool at first but when I realised she had built a house around my feet the expression on my face dropped drastically.

"Did you have to build around my feet?"

"I asked you to move but you didn't answer me. It looked like you were in some kind of trance so I just built around you."

"Well now I'm going to ruin it."

I kicked up the sand around my feet and stepped outside of the sand village. Ahri dropped her head in disappointment while I built a reached over the tiny village to continue with the inside of the castle.

"I could have moved it without you ruining it but okay. Fine. Whatever."

"You could have but you took too long."

"Tell you what I'm going to build a memorial on the remains. Then no-one will ever forget that you don't care about what I build."

"I'll just destroy that too."

"If you do that I'll introduce your face to something heavy."

"I guess I won't be doing that then."

After a while of interior modelling I was done so I looked to see how Ahri was getting along. By the looks of it she had been done for a while and was sunbathing on the beach. There were so many things I wanted to do at that moment but to my dismay I heard a faint voice that sounded a bit like Rengar. Upon looking around I realised that he was nowhere to be seen.

A moment later I felt something hit my cheek from the direction of the sandcastle. When I looked where it came from I saw a tiny version of Rengar on a balcony in the castle. I leaned in closer to hear what he was saying.

"Help me you lemming-brained twat-nugget!"

"That's quite colourful language for someone so small and cute."

"Shut up and help me or I'll rip your intestines out and strangle you with them!"

"How did you end up like this?"

"I tried to hit Lulu with a sledgehammer and this happened!"

"You're just lucky she turned you into this instead of a cupcake or something."

"Now will you please get me back to normal size? I've been running from things which I would normally not even waste my time killing!"

"I'll go find a way to get you back to normal. To be nice I will even get Ahri to keep you company. Hey Ahri. Come over here."

She got up and walked over to me.

"Is that…"

"Yeah Rengar got shrunk. Make sure he doesn't get lonely while I find a way to get him to be normal again."

Ahri POV

Zoh walked off while I picked up Rengar to look at him properly. He growled at me but I just found it incredibly cute. I petted him on the head, much to his irritation.

"So Rengar, how's life being small?"

"It's worse than having no limbs!"

His high-pitched voice made him even cuter. I smiled gleefully at the tiny lion-thing as Zoh walked up behind me. He was holding a tiny bottle of a clear liquid which he handed to Rengar.

"Drink that."

Rengar did as Zoh said but nothing happened.

"I don't think it worked Zoh." I muttered.

"Yeah can you just hold onto his legs for a second?"

"Okay… why?"

"Just hold on."

I took hold of his Rengar's legs while Zoh took hold of his arms.

"What are you guys doing?"

"It will hurt less if you don't talk."

Zoh started pulling on Rengar's arms, stretching the lion as he went. After a while Zoh had pulled Rengar back to full size at which point, after some delay, he returned to his normal weight. Immediately neither of us could hold the lion anymore and he dropped to the ground. Rengar got up and gave a hearty laugh.

"That didn't hurt at all! Now I shall kill some things! Something from the void would be nice."

He turned to walk away just as all his hair turned a dark shade of blue. He froze in place and looked around for a moment. Zoh jogged over to me and whispered in my ear:

"That's not supposed to happen."

"You don't say."

Rengar turned around to look at us and slowly pulled off his eye patch.

"I feel… badass! I've got to go make some new equipment for this! Ha-ha! So many things are going to die!"

He laughed all the way to the button then disappeared.

"So… we just stretched a lion from about a foot tall to almost seven, then he turned blue and is now about to go on a killing spree…"

"Yeah… at least the medicine I made worked."

"Was it supposed to turn him blue?"

"No."

"It didn't work then."

"No. It did its job… and a bit more…"

"Oh well. They'll probably make a skin of it."

"Yep."

"…What shall we do now?"

"I have no idea."

"This would be a great time for Shen to appear…"

Many miles away:

Akali looked on as Shen repeatedly bashed Baron Nashor's head with the sledgehammer.

Ahri POV

"He's probably doing something." Zoh concluded while taking a seat on the warm sand.

I sat down next to him and pulled Zoh's arm around me. He pulled me in closer so I took the chance to put my head up against his shoulder. My right hand almost instinctively moved onto his leg, very close to his manhood. Despite that move I didn't feel even slightly in the mood.

"Zoh how the hell am I not feeling anything right now?"

"There are two possible reasons in my mind. A good one and a bad one. Although I don't really lose either way."

"What are they?"

"The bad one would be that you're bored of it all. The good reason is that you have managed to get rid of all the built-up sexual desire from not being human most of your life."

"How do we know which one it is?"

"Hmm…"

Zoh reached down into my private area and did some rather dirty things with his fingers.

"Your cheeks are red, it's the second one."

"Doesn't seem very conclusive but just keep doing what you're doing and I'll be fine."

"It's not really a choice right now. Look where your hand is."

I turned my stare down to see my hand was holding Zoh's in place tightly. How it managed to move without me noticing confused me slightly but my focus was all over the place by that point so I didn't dwell on it long. He pushed his fingers further inside and I completely lost it.

"Ahri quiet down a bit. You're going to wake up people from miles around."

In a weak attempt to shut him up I pushed him down onto the sand and got on all-fours above him.

"Well now I've gone from being gripped by your hand to being gripped by… yeah…"

Moments later I was collapsed on Zoh and he was pulling his fingers out. He flicked his fingers away to dry them then wiped what was left on his swimming trunks. Before he had a chance to say anything I pressed my lips firmly against his.

Of course, Shen was ready to ruin it.

"So this is what you would call 'awkward', isn't it?"

I opened my eyes and stared to my right to see Shen lying on his side, holding his head up with his hand.

"Or would it be fear? I have experienced neither in so while."

Zoh broke away to reply:

"It's the former."

"Ah. Wonderful! So, how's it going?"

"Fine. How's it been for you?"

"I've had a brilliant day! Akali and I were tasked with catching a bigger Baron for the new Summoners Rift. We found a really nice one and I got to hit it with a hammer."

"Whose hammer was it?"

"Why do you assume it wasn't mine?"

"Whose hammer was it?"

"Okay. It was Poppy's."

"That's fine. She never gets picked for matches anyway so it's not like she needs it."

"Shen how long have you been here?" I asked.

"Long enough to know I ended something just before it could get properly started."

"Of course. So apart from breaking this up, why are you here?"

"Basically a bunch of us decided that we should all go on an airship vacation for a day or something. The problem is: none of us know how to fly an airship."

"So you assume I know how to fly one." Zoh asserted.

"Yeah."

"Damn good thing I do then."

"So you'll do it."

"Before I agree to anything I'll need to know how many people will be there and who those people are."

"Only a few people. To be specific: me, Akali, Morgana, Nocturne, Rengar, Yasuo, Lux, Malzahar, Lissandra and you two."

"So basically all my friends."

"Exactly. It was Morgana's idea. Apparently it's to celebrate an anniversary of some sort."

"Oh yeah it is. Yours."

"Is it?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

"Shit."

"There's still a few hours left of the day. I suggest you go get a present."

"Good idea."

With that Shen teleported away and we were alone again. I made sure to take back Zoh's attention as quickly as I could by putting my arms around his neck and pulling myself up him. He put his hands on my sides and kissed my cheek.

"I already know the answer but I might as well ask anyway: am I going to have to help on the airship?"

"Yeah. I thought that an air stewardess would suit you best."

"It was worth a try. Oh well, at least it sounds interesting."

"Hopefully. I've got a few ideas for things you could do."

"What do you mean by that?"

"If we are going to be on that airship for a day then we're going to need to set up some entertainment, food, drinks, etc."

"You say 'we' but there is very little you can do to make me help you with that."

"I would say please but I'm not sure how much that will achieve."

"Very little. If I were you I would get going. There's a lot of work to do."

The next day (June 6th 09:00):

The sound of the engines outside was the sign that I had to hurry up yet still I gave myself one last check. I was wearing something that Zoh gave to me with a few adjustments I made. I had a very short blue skirt on which only got half way down my upper leg. My shirt did a similarly bad job of covering everything up. I had folded up the sleeves so they hung around my elbows and I had simply cut the lower section of the shirt off so that it didn't connect to the skirt. The inside of the shirt was blue so the outside of the collar and the folded parts of the sleeves broke up the otherwise completely white shirt. It did have a pocket on the chest but I wasn't going to try to get anything in there. To finish off the look I had a blue fez despite knowing very well that Zoh would never stop staring at it while talking to me. After thinking on it for a moment I came up with a plan which probably wouldn't hold up too much scrutiny. I un-did a few of the top buttons, hoping that Zoh would try to stare at the fez and my chest at the same time and end up staring somewhere in the middle.

I heard the sounds of engines starting up outside so I slipped into some blue high-heels and jogged out of my room. After walking hastily through the main door I got my tails to close the door behind me. On the way through the League building I caught a few people staring at me, each time I did my ego grew slightly.

Eventually I walked into the sunlight and stared at the giant airship ahead of me. The balloon was a few hundred metres long and the gondola was the size of a small building. Even though it was on the ground it still dwarfed the League building behind me. Everyone was standing next to a ramp which led up to the gondola.

As I walked to them I realised just how odd our group was to look at. The scene looked like something taken straight out of a late-night sit-com made in Piltover.

When I got to the group I found my way to Zoh who was in a pilot's uniform that matched my clothes in colours. One notable detail on the uniform was a shiny, gold eagle symbol on his service cap that matched one on the side of the airship.

"Ah, Ahri you… made a few adjustments to that. Nice hat though."

"Yeah. Where did you find these?"

"Akali made them while I sorted out the airship."

"You got Akali to waste her night helping you?"

"She offered. Apparently Shen was out fist-fighting bears all night and she wasn't tired."

"Sounds relatively tame for Shen."

"They weren't normal bears."

"Oh. Would you mind telling me why Lissandra and Malzahar are here? We've talked to them for like, five minutes."

"Yeah but Shen has known them both for ages apparently."

"Kay. So when will we be able to take off?"

"Uh…"

Zoh turned around and looked at the two propeller engines at the back-end of the gondola. A stupid bird flew into one of them and exploded into feathers. Zoh turned around and shrugged:

"I'd say that's good enough. Alright everyone please board we will take off in a few minutes!"

Everyone went up the ramp followed by me and Zoh. The moment I walked in I hit a wall of cool air. It was a pleasant change from the nearly uncomfortable heat of the outside. When I was done revelling in the lovely temperature I took a moment to survey my surroundings. In front of me was what looked like a buffet of sorts. Although the buffet was mostly made up of a barbeque there was some assorted salads etc. To my right was a plain wall with a door in it and to my left was another wall with two openings where it met the side of the gondola. From what I could see the room had no lights as the windows on every wall provided plenty of light.

I walked through one of the openings in the wall into a room with a much higher ceiling. This room had replaced the walls with windows completely, providing a good view of the surrounding area which was just starting to come into view out of the early morning fog. In the middle of the room was a circular bar with stalls all around it. A few people were sitting around it while Sam stood inside, serving drinks to those who asked. I waved to him before heading up the grand staircase which took up a large part of the room. When I got to the top I saw a low sofa which circled around a similarly low table. Just beyond that was Zoh behind a large steering-wheel, all raised up slightly from the rest of the room so he could see over the people on the sofa. For a second I thought that the reason for the windows replacing all the walls was so he could see but that was proved wrong when I realised he had holograms that could only be seen from the right angle in front of him which provided views of every side.

I put my hand on his shoulder just in time to grip it tightly when we suddenly ascended quickly. When I looked out the window I realised just how quickly we were going up.

Seconds later we slowed down until we were still just below the clouds. My stomach caught up with us a few moments later and I nearly puked.

"Zoh please don't tell me we're doing that again. Ever."

"Oh yeah you haven't ever been I a rocket have you?"

"No. Why?"

"Cause that was like a really slow rocket launch. Too late to do it slower now."

"Just don't do it again when we go back down."

"Fine then. Be boring."

"It's not boring. It's safe."

"Don't bring health and safety into this! That stuff makes everything terrible."

"How?"

"I had to send an official request to the old emperor to open a black hole in the centre of my old planet. How dumb is that? It's not like black holes ever hurt anybody."

"From what I know of black holes they could very well hurt everyone if given the chance."

"Pff…"

"That's what I thought. Now what are we going to do for entertainment?"

He turned to me and smiled before pulling an airsoft gun up.

A few hours later (12:00):

Despite being one of the victors I didn't feel like much of a winner after that. The rest of the blue team seemed to have fared no better. If I had to rank them in terms of the amount of injury sustained from highest to lowest it would be: Shen, Me, Lissandra, Nocturne then Yasuo. If I did the same for the enemy team it would go: Zoh, Rengar, Akali, Lux, Malzahar then Sam. Although that was because I was aiming for Zoh above all else.

After a moment Akali and Shen (the team leaders) went to meet in the middle of the room. They both bowed then shook hands. Akali looked around then to Zoh.

"What do we win?"

A cake on a circular platform rose from the table in the middle of the room just next to Shen and Akali.

"That."

"Do we get anything?" Rengar questioned.

"Yeah."

Another, slightly smaller cake repeated what the other had done.

"That."

From above twelve paper plates dropped down slowly on strings.

"I may have got bored and hurried this bit."

After everyone was done with their cake we all looked at Zoh and I asked what we were all thinking:

"So, what's next?"

"One question first: do any of you know how to play table tennis?"

Next chapter is going to be fun. Probably. Only I know why. Tee hee.

So then, one important thing to say: I have received the greatest review of all time. It's from a guest and goes like: "Wtfis happening GOD DAMN".

That is the exact reaction I want everyone to have to this. It's brilliant.

Oh yeah and I'm not adding any new characters except for the occasional bad guy/girl.

Bye.