EDWARD
It was a long day and I was exhausted. Bella had went to her bedroom over an hour ago. I knew it was so she could be alone and process the day's events. Settling in bed, I opened the folder Emmett gave me before leaving. I noted once again that the tab said "Renee Swan." I blew out a breath knowing it contained the documents Emmett sent me pictures of. Swiping a hand down my face, I picked up an envelope and opened it. A typed letter from Charlie greeted me. It was addressed to me, which surprised me.
Edward,
I'm a simple man. Period. That being said, I'll get straight to the point of this letter.
After you left the station, I had a detective run your name ran through all databases, and I'm sure I don't need to list them for you, given your profession. I was happy to find you don't have a police record in any country. The abundance of articles found was overwhelming. I read through several of them and learned you are a kind-hearted and charitable man. I have to wonder how you and my daughter crossed paths. But I see now there is more to you than meets the eye. The way you came to see me alone speaks volumes with me. It was brave and protective at the same time. That's what Bella needs – someone who will protect her. And I feel you are the man for the job.
I'm not sure what Bella told you about me. Here's the basics. I'm a single father and have been since she was three. Her mother, Renee, was taking away by the police and, well, I'm not proud to say this, it was for child endangerment and kidnapping. After a short trial, she found guilty of kidnapping in the second degree and for endangering the life of a child. She was give the maximum sentence for both felonies. I filed for a divorce two years into her prison sentence. Sadly, it took eight years for the divorce to be finalized. You see every time I went to the prison Renee refused to see me. I sent the paper through her lawyer. She refused to sign them. Finally, the court stepped in and granted the divorce. Bella knows nothing about this. I hope you can see I was trying to protect her. I didn't want her to know her mother is a felon, so I told Bella her mother died.
Months after the divorce was finalized, I received a letter from Renee. Inside was a seal letter addressed to Bella. I didn't have the heart to give it to Bella, but I kept it and every one since. I have to admit I read them. What Renee wrote was hard to read, but I'll write more about what was in those letters in a bit.
It was hard being a single father and a cop. In order to provide Bella with everything she needed, I volunteered for extra hours and worked holidays. Looking back, I hated I made those decisions. Hindsight is a bitch, especially after I talked with Emmett. What he told me opened up my eyes. I didn't want to believe it and refused to believe it. I love my daughter. She is precious to me. I realize now that I should have said the words to her more often. I was always there for her. Will always be there for her.
When I learned she was pregnant, I was shocked. My reaction was a knee-jerk one, plain and simple. Kicking her out was the worst thing I've ever done. Sure, I had rules and there were consequences. I am realizing some of the rules were cruel, but when I made them she was a pre-teen.
Again, hindsight is a bitch.
Once I calmed, I realized she is an adult who needed to talk to me. She needed my help. My understanding. I must admit, I walked in when she was telling Jacob and his rection may have fueled mine just a little. I tried calling Bella, only to be sent to her voicemail every time. I still hold on to hope that she will call me. Forgive me.
Time of more honesty, not that I haven't been honest in this letter.
After I reading the report on you, I had the same detective run Jacob's name. He has a rap sheet. You're a smart man, being a lawyer and all. I'm sure you'll be able to find out what's on that sheet, if you really want to know.
I am keen to think you are right about Jacob. I'm pretty sure Jacob's the father. Although, I see a legal way of obtaining his medical records. So, I have to take him at his word about him not being able to father children. Enough on him. Although I will say this, I wish I had thought to run his name sooner. He was the first post-high school guy I met. Not that there haven't been other guys she dated. Jacob was the first serious relationship she had been in. Not that she confided in me. She used to talk to my mother, but after she died, she turned to the person who picked me up tonight. It was this person who made me see things, made me start writing this letter this afternoon.
Now back to you for a moment.
I need to tell you where my thoughts went when you told me you would take a paternity test. And please don't take this the wrong way, I am trying to be as honest as I can. I thought you were the father for all of thirty seconds. My next thought was, why would anyone volunteer for such a test if they were the father? I'm sure you can understand a cop's perspective – if you lawyer up, you're hiding something and are possibly guilty. It's the opposite if you volunteer for any test in my book.
After hearing how far along Bella is, Jacob is the only man who could be the father. Unless, and again this is just me letting you know where my thoughts took me, Bella was seeing someone other than Jacob. Not that Bella would do anything of the sort. She loyal until you get on her bad side. There's a story here, but it's not mine to share. Ask her about it.
Before Jacob, there was Paul. As you might know, he is in the military and is out of the country. He has been for three months and Bella hasn't seen him in six. He was not the man I saw her with and was glad to hear they ended things. Not that I ever met him.
I want to go back a step, something I just realized. There's another thing I regret about the whole kicking Bella out situation – I wasn't able to walk her down the aisle. That's something I will never get to do. One day when you're a father, you'll understand. Being able to place your daughter's hand into the hand of the man she loves and knowing he would do everything to see to her happiness would have been the second happiest day in my life. The first being the day she was born. I don't count the day I married Renee as happy. Looking back, Renee was a mistake even if she did gift me with Bella. Renee and I were young and in love and very foolish.
Now, back to Renee and the letters to Bella. Like mentioned, I read every one but the latest. I was hoping when Bella retrieved her legal documents she would take the folder about her mother, but she didn't. She did however take the letters. You need to protect her, Edward, and not just from Jacob but from her mother.
Renee admitted in the letters to me that while she no longer wanted to married to me, she only refused to see me, refused to sign the divorce papers was because she didn't want Bella to come from a broken home. The thing was Renee didn't realize our home was already broken. That she put our daughter in danger. Yes, Edward, the child Renee put in danger was Bella. I was the one to call CPS, the one to file charges, to file for a restraining order. My profession as a cop, it wasn't something I chose. It chose me. I hated myself for years for being forced to press charges against my own wife. Before we could appear in family court, Renee violated the restraining order and took Bella from the preschool's playground. Again, placing Bella in danger. I can't put into words everything Renee did to Bella. Renee didn't write much of this in her letters to Bella. It was more along the lines of how much she missed her and couldn't wait to see her again.
It gets worse, Edward, and this is why Bella needs to be protected. Renee was released from prison four months ago. When I first met her, she was in league with two guys – Billy and Felix Black. Felix is Jacob's uncle, and Billy was Jacob's father. Billy died a few years ago. I have no doubt that she went back to Felix for a job. And Felix is the one who fired Bella from what I was able to find out today.
Read through the documents in the folder before you share them with Bella. They contain more information than I wish to put in this letter. I want you to be prepared for any reaction Bella has to the letters and the rest of the information.
It's time, well past time, for Bella to know the truth about her mother. It's going to hurt her when she finds out Renee is alive, Edward. Be there for her. She can call me any time of day if she wants to talk. I will always be here for her.
One last thing, I can't believe I was going to be a grandfather and am happy for her. She is going to be a great mother. I wish I could tell her myself, but like you said, she's not ready. I saw how not ready she is and will do as you suggest. I'll call and talk to you. If anything happens to her, please call me.
Charlie
A soft rap sounded on the door after I finished reading the letter from Charlie. "Edward, are you still awake?" Bella asked.
I cursed softly and gathered the folder up and slid it under the mattress along with the letter. Sure, Bella had been in our bedroom reading while I was going over a contract or other legal brief for a client, but this was different. What I was reviewing, was about her. I already felt I was intruding on her personal life, being told stuff that she may or may not want me to know at this time.
With a calming breath, I finally answered. "I am. Come on in."
Bella cracked open the door and slipped in, closing it behind her. Her lower lip was in between her teeth. I learned pretty fast what it meant. Something was on her mind and she needed to talk with someone.
"What's wrong?" I asked, patting the mattress.
She hesitated, looking around the room.
That's a first, I thought but remained quiet, giving her time.
It was two minutes later she climbed onto the bed with me and settled next to me. My arm wound around her. "Bella, what's wrong?" I asked again.
She shrugged. "It's been a rough evening," she whispered. "Seeing my dad was hard. All I wanted to do was run into his arms, but he never opened them to me. I miss him."
I rolled my head back, my neck stretching until I was looking at the ceiling. The last time she said something to that affect I suggested she called him and it hadn't blown over. Let's hope it doesn't blow up in my face again. "Why don't you call him," I suggested.
BELLA
I rested my head on Edward's shoulder as I thought about his suggestion. It's not like I haven't thought about doing so since he suggested it in Vegas, but what would I say. Sadly, I admitted, "I'm not ready to talk to him yet even if I do miss him."
Edward nuzzled my head with his. The action reminded me of tigers I saw in the zoo. Grandma Swan had explained that was one way cats, no matter how big, show affection for one another.
"This is nice," I remarked, snuggling closer to him. His other arm came around me thus cocooning me in his embrace.
"It sure is." His response was a mere whisper but I still heard him. "We should do this every night."
I wanted to laugh. We did snuggle every night, just not in bed.
He pressed his lips to my cheek. It astonished me how gentle and sweet he was with me. It was a stark contrast to how Jacob treated me.
Jacob never wanted to just hold me. All he wanted to do was fuck me. The sex wasn't all that great, not that I had anything to compare against. I wasn't even ready to take my relationship with him to the physical, but he wouldn't stop pressuring me. Sadly, I caved.
Not once , in the month I known and been married to Edward, has he asked for a more physical interaction between us. It was his right to ask me for that and more. Instead of asking me to share his bed, he gave me my own room, my own space. My first night in his home, he showed me to a room and handed me two keys.
"Huh?" I asked intelligently, looking at the two keys.
Edward shuffled his feet. "They're for the door. It locks."
I spared the door in front of me a brief glance. "Most bedroom door do... for privacy."
He chuckled. "True, but not many bedroom doors have locks that need a key like the ones you hold."
My eyes went back to the door and the handle. It had a lock, and not the run of the mill bedroom privacy door lock that can be picked with a bobby pin, but one like you would find on an exterior door. The door to my room had an actual key with different teeth lengths. I turned back to Edward wanting more of an explanation.
"Consider the room a small apartment, a studio, if you will. There's an attached bathroom only you have access to. The only thing missing is a kitchen area."
Okay that made sense, but it didn't explain the keys. I held the up the key ring and jiggled them.
Edward ran a hand through his hair. "Don't most apartment doors have locks to keep people out?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied as understanding came to me. "So, instead of keeping one, you're giving me both because…"
"Because," he picked up, "I want you to get to know me. Want it to be your decision to give me a key to your space."
Whoa! "But this is your house."
He chuckled again. "That's not how I see things. This is our house. In time, I hope you come to see that too. I'm not going to rush you or ask you to refer to this house as anything other than your home." He motioned to the room and door in front of us, before going on "This is your room. Your space. Your place. You control who has access to it. No one, not even the housekeeper, has a copy of the key. Before the handle was replaced, the room was cleaned."
I still haven't given him a key, though one was in my pocket. He's been so sweet and attentive. It was clear to me he cared more about building a relationship with me, than sharing a bed. And I had to admit, there was something growing between us. Something I couldn't name. All I knew was I wanted to stay in his arms. Wanted to cup his face in both of my hands and bring his lips to mine.
The realization hit me hard, and I wanted to run and hide. To not be faced with feelings needing to be named. Yes, I had kissed him earlier. I still wanted to leave and seek the safety of my room.
No, I told myself. You will not bolt. You will face and examine whatever was happening the two of us.
The mental pep talk bolstered me, challenged me to take action. Reaching up, I touched Edward's face. The day's growth of his whiskers tickled my fingers as he drew in a breath. Before my courage failed me, I lifted my face and pressed my lips to his. It took a moment before his came alive against mine. Instead, he drew me closer, drinking from my lips.
He moaned and I felt the vibration all the way down to my toes. Tentatively, I opened my mouth, my tongue darting out to taste his lips. As if he were reading my thoughts, Edward opened his. Pleasure coursed inside me when his tongue began to dance with mine.
Edward drew away briefly, taking several ragged breaths. He wasn't the only one breathing heavily.
In high school, my girlfriends would talk about kisses that were so intense, so mind-blowing, that they took your breath away. I'd never had a kiss...
He reclaimed my mouth, disrupting my thoughts. My hands moved up and behind his head, coming to a rest in his hair. He moaned again and again as my fingers massage his scalp. I couldn't get enough of him.
When he drew away again, I was giddy and grateful he was still holding me. Had he not been, I would have been a pile of goo on the bed. His smile was nothing compared to the kiss. "The kiss was powerful.
It was a few minutes later that Edward sighed. He sounded happy but sad. "It's been a long day. Would you consider not going back to your room?"
There was such longing in his question but no expectation. He worded it in such a way to say it was my choice. He had given me the same choice the night we got home from Forks. I had turned him down.
"You don't have to," he added.
He was being sweet again. I waited a heartbeat more before answering.
EDWARD
With bated breath, I waited for Bella's answer.
"I don't know why I went to the other room to begin with. Sleeping in here with you makes me feel…" she stopped and a rosy blush appeared on her cheeks.
She didn't finish the sentence and I had to wonder how she would have finished it.
Bella excused herself to change. I hadn't noticed she was still in her jeans and light sweater until then. Not knowing how long I had, I pulled out the folder and letter, I stashed them in my briefcase. I hated hiding them from her but until I read everything, it was for her protection and benefit.
I was settling back in bed when she came back in. A silent groan left me as I took her in. She was clad in a deep blue that made her skin glow. Blue was quickly becoming my favorite color on her.
The moment she was settled next to me, I wrapped my arm around her. I knew I couldn't ignore my growing feelings much longer. I had to tell Bella soon.
~~~ Reaching for Love ~~~
Morning came too soon for my liking and I would have stayed in bed if I didn't have an early client meeting. Bella was sound asleep when I slipped out of bed. Like every morning, a smile formed on my face as I walked into the bathroom.
There were consequences to having Bella beside me. For starters, her scent clung to me. I smelled of strawberries, not that I minded. Then there was the way I woke that only a cold shower could cure.
Bella was still sleeping like a baby when I came out of the bathroom, buttoning up my shirt. I kissed her cheek and watched as she swiped her hand across the spot. She was beautiful. God, I loved her.
Her eyes blinked open and she smiled up at me. "Good morning, Edward," she croaked.
"Morning, Bella." I returned her smile. "I have a meeting but I'll send a car to take you to your doctor's appointment and met you there."
She groaned. "I don't want to go."
With a shake of my head, I chuckled. "I know. You need to take care of yourself and are way overdue for a physical." Leaning down, I kissed her pouting lips.
"I know," she said before pulling me down to her again and kissing me.
She was really making it hard to leave.
"Go. Don't want you to be late."
"See you at eleven," I said, straightening and leaving our bedroom.
