Hellosies! Making up words again. Cause that's what I'm best at.

Oh yeah and being bad with computers. I'm great at being bad with computers.

There's a thing below this with its own damn title!

PUN OF THE WEEKLY, DEEKLY DOO DAA: What do you call it when Skarner is refusing to surrender? Time wa-sting!

See? I'm a very punny person. Get it? Cause punny is close to funny. Except it's got 'pun' in it. Cause I made a pun before and puns are supposed to be funny… I'll stop now…

Fun fact, I was actually going to put that in a comment on Keyori's most recent video but I thought it was good enough to go here.

I'm gonna go watch Doctor Who then come back and think up a title.

That was a good episode.

Chapter 33: Side-tracked


Early morning (05:00am):

The air was refreshingly cool in the mountain base, though not cold enough to keep me from drifting off to sleep. In fact, the only thing stopping me from passing out completely was Zoh's moaning and groaning from across the table. I made no attempt to understand or even properly listen to what he was saying, only working out enough to realise it was far too technical for me.

Maybe this was his way of dealing with being tired and bored. Of course, we weren't simply subjecting ourselves to such negative things for the fun of it. We had to stay up and keep an eye out for and Summoners who may have followed us at the same time as making sure the female Summoner we had picked up on the way back was not doing something stupid.

"Honestly Zoh, I don't see the appeal of thinking up new technology aloud to get over boredom. I don't even pretend to know why you make it sound like just the act of speaking is a great pain upon your soul."

"If you listened, you'd realise I'm trying to think how to turn a black hole back into a star. Its way harder than I thought it would be, so I'm getting mad."

"When would you ever use that?"

"I could probably use it to… no that wouldn't help…"

"Keep going."

"I'd use it to… have something get put into a black hole then turned into a star so I can say I that part of the star is made up of the thing. Like, a yoghurt star. Or something."

"It's so that you can just say you made it, right?"

"Pretty much."

"I think you have a problem."

"The 'a' should be replaced with 'many'."

"'I think you have many problem?'"

"You get the idea, it's five am!"

I rolled my eyes at him and we both went back to our own private ways of staying awake. My eyes felt incredibly heavy and barely a minute went by where I didn't yawn at least once. Putting my head on the table I turned it slightly so I could see into the room to my left, where the Summoner was sleeping atop our bed. 'Peacefully' would not be a word any sane person would use to describe the Summoner, but there was no way anyone could get me to try solve her problem. She had the emotional stability of Shaco and was more jumpy than Fizz. Even the slightest knock would make her shoot up.

I could have sworn that she rolled around in her sleep when Zoh whispered to me:

"I'm starting to think we should have just shot her out of a cannon in the opposite direction of the League."

"Keeping that out of mind, what are we going to do with her anyway?"

"I suppose we'll teach her how to not cry at every damn thing that happens then ask if she knows anything useful. After that I guess we should probably just drop her off in Ionia or somewhere that the League won't find her."

"Wouldn't the Freljord be a better spot for that?"

"There's no point lying, she'd probably die."

"I'll trust your judgement on this one."

As the conversation died out I turned my head over then stared into Akali and Shen's room. They were both sleeping soundly, having not moved an inch since the group returned to the base. I was starting to feel really weak when Zed walked down the stairs, his metal boots clinking against the stone floor. I sat up respectfully, even though every part of me wanted to collapse down again.

"Greetings. How is the prisoner faring?"

"She's not a prisoner. And, as far as I can tell, she's fine. I don't want to wake her up because she may have a panic attack."

"Is that why she has been crying constantly when awake?"

"Yes. After initial tests it appears her mind has been mentally scarred, likely resulting from a traumatic event from her childhood."

"Is there any cure? I have very little patience for people who cry."

"I can't, in all good conscience, say that I know of a cure. Nor can I think up one… Psychology is not my strongest area."

"The blade cures all ailments."

"Your idea of cure is far different to mine."

By the time Zed had made his way to the table and took a seat I was close to making a decision on whether or not to join the conversation. Even the chilly air was failing to keep me from sleeping right there on the table, so the best I could do was to join in:

"Couldn't we just be nice to her and gain her trust?"

"I'm not exactly an immediately likeable person at the best of times." Zoh replied, followed quickly by Zed:

"Don't look at me. I'm more likely to kill her than talk to her."

"What about Shen or Akali?" I asked, making Zoh shake his head.

"Akali has stated that she doesn't trust her in the slightest and Shen… he's Shen."

"So it falls to me then?"

Zed and Zoh nodded simultaneously.

"Well I am not starting now. And it's not just because I'm procrastinating."

"No-one likes getting woken up at this time so that makes sense."

"Yup. So, why are we still up at this time?"

"We're on lookout duty. I'd hate to get my face set on fire while I sleep because a Summoner followed us here."

"Surely you have something that can do this for us. I doubt Zed wants to be up at this time either."

"That's an accurate statement." Zed added while putting his hand up then down again before Zoh got a chance to reply.

"While I really do not enjoy admitting things like this, I never really bothered to do things like that. I never really was the kind of guy to make things which improve the living standards of average people in ways like that. In fact, I don't really invent much for civilian use. Everything is either far too dangerous for normal people or has no use for them."

"Maybe you should focus on that from now on. Might be helpful."

"I promise that when civilians find a use for uranium-powered pencils I'll start making stuff for them."

"Well… that's a start I suppose. Considering that all, when ARE we going to sleep?"

"Tomorrow."

"Ugh…" I groaned while dropping my head onto the table.

"A good way to think of it is that when we do eventually get some sleep it's going to be wonderful."

"Don't blame me if I can't quite see it from that point of view."

"Yeah I never really expected you to. Makes me feel good pretending to help though."

I waved my hand dismissively at him as Zed got up and went outside.

"Okay. Bye I guess." Zoh mumbled as Zed disappeared from sight.

"A goodbye would have been nice."

"He's probably got something important to do so I suppose I'll just forget about it."

Behind me a single beam of light shone down the stairway. It almost made me want to go outside to enjoy the sunshine but I knew from experience that the early morning light was not enough to counteract the chill still present from the night before. At that moment I decided the thing I missed most about being a fox was definitely the fur. Even at the time I guessed it was probably over exaggeration but it was almost certainly in the top five things I missed.

As I thought I didn't realise that I was falling asleep very quickly. I didn't even realise my eyes had closed all on their own. When, after some considerable effort, I managed to open my eyes and push myself off the table I found that the Summoner was strolling lazily into the room. She had her hood up but I could just about see that her eyes were not watering up. At least she wasn't sobbing again, though I was a still a bit worried about why she was ever crying in the first place.

A moment later she got to the table and sat on the chair to my left and Zoh's right. She crossed her arms on the table and planted her head in them. She did nothing else for a few moments so I looked over to Zoh and mouthed 'what do we do?'. He shrugged back so I tried to improvise and just decided to make small-talk.

"Hey… bit cold this morning isn't it?"

She didn't even react in the slightest so I tilted my head to make sure she was still breathing. I could just barely see that her chest was moving so I put my head back to its normal place and sat forward slightly.

"So then, do you have a name? I'm not sure about all the cultures here but I assume you have a name."

The summoner mumbled something into her arms but even with my exceptional hearing I couldn't make out what she said.

"Say again."

She lifted her head from her arms but didn't look up before retrying:

"Joy."

The irony kept me silent for a few moments as she put her head back down.

"So uhh… Joy… how did you end up doing what you're doing?"

"What, the never-ending stream of sadness or terrible job?"

"Time isn't exactly of the essence so how about we do both?"

"Feels like all the time I have left is going to be a countdown to death anyway so it doesn't matter."

"Okay Debbie Downer let's start from the beginning. Did you start being sad after joining the League or before and if it's the second one how about you tell us when that was?"

"I've been like this since I was ten." She replied, ending with a deep sigh as if her mood was made worse just by thinking about it.

Before I had a chance to continue with my questions Zoh butted in with the most unhelpful comment he could think up:

"Hmm, very descriptive."

"Shut it Zoh."

"Thought we were going to do the good-cop bad-cop thing."

"What's that?"

"Oh surely you know. The:" He stopped before standing up, pulling out his axe, slamming it sideways onto the table and continuing:

"Where's the damn drugs! We know you and your friends hid them! Give up or I'll cave your skull in with a coffee mug!"

She pulled her head from her arms and stared at him with a look of utter confusion on her face.

"I have no idea… what is he talking about?" She asked while turning her focus to me.

"You know, I've known him for a while now and I honestly can't tell you. Pretty sure it's the lack of sleep."

He deleted his axe from existence then turned and flipped his chair over.

"It's not a table but it'll do!"

"Zoh, honestly, what the hell is wrong with you right now?"

"I may be having random but violent mood-swings, likely caused by a lack of sleep and irritation with our current situation. Right now I'm feeling a strange mix of enlightened and excitement to be enlightened so I suppose I shall go create something. If you hear many explosions, chances are that means I've created something awesome. Cause I'm awesome like that. Actually I'm just awesome in every way! Ahhh these swings are getting kind of fun."

He skipped over to the stairs and went up, whistling a tune as he went. I was no-where near bothered enough to follow so I stayed there with Joy. She had been watching the entire thing with interest.

"That was… strange. He's a friend of yours I guess?"

"Bit more than a friend. You were spot-on about the strange part though."

"You're lucky. I don't have any friends at all."

"How? There's nothing wrong with you from what I can tell."

"People always laugh at me. No-one takes the time to even talk to me unless they are taunting me."

"Why? And also, point me in the direction of the people you're talking about and I'll break some faces."

"Bit late for that. You and your friends already killed most of them."

"Well, now I feel slightly better about killing people. I can't stand bullies."

"To be fair, they did have some good reasons for being nasty to me."

"I'd like to hear those reasons so that I can laugh at them."

She started mumbling something but was almost instantly cut-off by the sound of an explosion outside followed by Zoh's shouting:

"That's the best orange-peeler I've ever made!"

"… As I was about to say, it was mostly because I said that Summoners should go out and help people on a town-by-town basis. You know, making wells and fending off bandits and stuff. It was a stupid idea really."

"I think I may be the stupid thing in this case as I'm really struggling to get how that is not a good plan."

"We can do more in a single League match than we could hope to achieve after helping a hundred towns."

"That's utter bullshit. We could do that, but only one match in every thousand is not just practice. And what is the damn point of helping anyone at all if you are not going to help actual people? There are around ten Summoners needed for a proper game in the League, but we have literally hundreds of Summoners. What the hell are they doing that is important enough to not go out and help people survive? Accounting? Merchandise-creation? Lunch-making? Who gives a damn? If I had it my way, all the Summoners would be out helping ordinary people for most of their work-time and champions would all live their ordinary lives out in the world with their own houses and shit, then when someone important does something stupid we can all get together and sort it out. We don't need a multi-million-gold costing building or enough gardens to cover a small planet! The money and effort that went into making that marble goliath could have given food to the population of an entire country for weeks!"

"But… the older Summoners said that we had to have a large building to show our strength…"

"I really doubt any king, queen or emperor is ignorant enough to not realise that Summoners are strong! They're more OP than Lucian for fucks sake!"

"Well… I… let's talk about something else shall we?"

"Not until you admit that you were right all those days, months, years ago when you said Summoners should help people directly."

"But why would they not want to help normal people like I did?"

"Because people don't want to give up things like the huge building and massive pay-cheques. Why would they? If you came up to me and said that you were going to take my clothes away and give me a towel in return I'd be quite mad, even if my clothes were used to help someone… somehow. And I bet you would be too."

"So you're saying that the Summoners were so greedy that they demanded the creation of Runeterra's biggest building, only to then not really need it at all?"

"Something like that."

"I always knew they were not the nicest of people but I didn't realise greed was so widespread and so powerful."

"I think Zoh found a planet with an expression for situations like this… 'Bad things are created from the best of intentions'. Or, you know, something similar sounding to that."

"Speaking of which, where is he from? The backstory I heard doesn't seem to be very true after meeting him…"

"All you really need to know is that he's from another planet and is handsome, strong, and intelligent at the same time as being irritating beyond belief, romantically inept and a danger to everyone within a hundred mile radius. He doesn't go around killing people unless someone he cares for is in danger but everything he has ever made has had the ability to kill or maim. Apart from that he's a devoted kind of guy and I'm currently trying to force him to train in the art of massaging. Oh yeah and he has to do everything I tell him to if I'm being serious. Anything else you need to know?"

"Not really. That seems pretty comprehensive."

"Yeah well I think we can both agree that it's easier for me to just tell you all this now so that we can avoid the drip-feeding of information that would have otherwise happened."

"Oh. Well, he seems interesting at least. A bit mentally unstable but I think I'm that too so I can't judge."

"We all are sometimes. I won't tell you how I was after becoming human... That was a difficult time for poor old Zoh."

"Oh, I heard what happened. You have no idea how much talk I overheard from the male Summoners about what they would do in Zoh's situation. And a few female ones too." She replied while pulling her head from her arms and slouching back in her chair.

"No joke but if Zoh wasn't around I would have done so many people. Females included."

"Why didn't you? From what I hear you two didn't start dating for a while."

"You know when there's something you want so bad that everything else seems insignificant? That's what he has always been for me. Like, why would I go out and bang a bunch of random people when I could be working towards the ultimate goal?"

"Because I imagine it would be more fun."

"You would be surprised how entertaining it was to make Zoh squirm. Figuratively of course."

"Thought so. I'd like to do that to someone someday."

"There's no time like the present."

"I haven't found the right person yet."

"Sounds to me like you aren't looking."

"To be fair to me I have only just properly got into this job, well… my old job, so I never get the time to find anyone who wouldn't just brush me aside."

"Why would anyone do that?"

"I'm not good with people."

"That's a skill you can learn. And I can teach you! It's going to be guesswork mostly but I'm sure we can work it out."

"How is this supposed to help your little group?"

"It won't. I could just use a hobby."

"Alright then. Can I ask: is this going to help me make friends or only help me get laid?"

"Friends are more important so let's do that then move onto getting laid."

"Sounds fun. When and how do we start?"

"Uh…"

Another explosion went off outside followed by more of Zoh's shouting:

"I'm not sure what caused that but it was awesome!"

I looked over to Shen and Akali who were still sleeping peacefully then to Joy.

"We'll start once I have gone out and stopped him from getting himself killed."

"Alright. I'll just wait here and… think or something."

She slumped back into her chair and waved as I got up from mine. It dawned on me as I walked to the stairs that the Summoner sat in that chair was incredibly different to the one we found in shackles behind a tree. Even as I walked up the stairs to the sound of Zoh creating something I couldn't help but worry that it was more than just her coming to terms with the situation.

"I really wish Zoh was a psychologist…"

A few steps later I was in the small wooden hut which concealed our home. It was quite damp and water was still dripping from the ceiling, though not enough for it to be raining outside. When I hopped out onto the water-soaked mud I felt a few of my tails brush against the wet, wooden doorway. A shiver went down my body and up to the ends of my tails when I felt cold drips of water stream down my foxy limbs. No water was falling from the sky but everything above me was cloaked by a thick layer of dark grey clouds. It was an awful day but Zoh didn't seem to have a problem with any of it. He appeared to be perfectly okay with being covered head to toe in mud, though he did attempt to clear it off his face a few times.

"Oh hey Ahri! Look, I made a toaster!" He declared with a huge, cheer smile. I looked over at what he was pointing to, finding a small metal box on the floor some explosives strapped onto it on every side. I couldn't see the details of it from a few metres away and I didn't care to discover them as Zoh was already in the process of laying toast on top of it and attaching a wire to some of the explosives. He rolled the wire out as he ran towards me.

"Ahri get behind the glass. It's gonna be a big one!"

I stared to my left and found that there were three tall bits of glass planted into the ground next to each other. There was a detonator behind it which Zoh was already in the process of connecting to the wire.

"Why do you have to wire it up? You normally just use signals, don't you?"

"Yeah but it's not a satisfying as this. I'll use remote detonators when it's better suited for the situation at hand."

"… Okay… whatever."

I gave in and strolled over to the glass, getting behind it just as Zoh got up and wiped some mud off his face.

"So how exactly did you get covered in dirt?"

"I made a dirty-bomb. I'll admit, it wasn't my best work. Kind of does exactly what is says on the packet."

He put his hands on the part of the detonator then paused for a moment before removing them.

"Why don't you do the honours?"

"If it's going to be a nice explosion then I will."

"Depends on your definition of nice really."

I shrugged before stepping over and putting my hands on the detonator, making sure to avoid the bit that Zoh had gotten muddy with his hands. With a bit of effort I pressed it down yet nothing happened for a moment.

"Hmm." Zoh murmured before the wire he had laid out burst into flames, setting off the explosives immediately after. A huge shockwave was followed by a ball of flame rising into the sky. It formed into a sort of mushroom cloud, though it was not as big as the ones Zoh had told me of before. It dissipated into smoke and a few sparks just before Zoh jumped and caught a bit of burnt bread.

"What a catch!" He declared while landing and examining the bread. As I removed my hands from the detonator I realised that the bread would be more accurately called charcoal than toast. It even had its own miniature plume of smoke.

"Zoh I'm taking you back inside now."

"Yeah I'm not really getting anywhere with this whole 'toast' thing so let's go. I'll just sharpen my axe instead. That's always quite calming."

He flung the charcoal over his shoulder as I grabbed his hand and began leading Zoh towards the hut.

"I should probably clean myself off first." He noted while pulling his hand away from mine and running over the pile of stuff. After some rummaging he grabbed what he had told me was called a 'water-gun' then pointed it at himself. I watched on as he washed himself off with the oddly colourful weapon then threw it away and jogged back to me. It mostly worked, though I was still going to force him to make a shower then use it.

We got inside just as the skies unloaded an ocean and a half onto the ground behind us. Immediately we both stopped moving and spun around to look at it. I grabbed Zoh's hand as we turned, causing him to look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh so are we doing this now?"

"Well if we are going to be together for a while it's probably a good thing to get into."

"Don't you think we look like some douchy twenty-something's with no idea what to do with our relationship?"

"Yeah. Cause we are precisely that."

"Oh yeah… it's great being twenty isn't it? Everyone knows that you are not quite adults yet but you're allowed to do adult stuff. I love it."

"Don't forget the part about not having enough experience to not do pointlessly self-destructive stuff. Like drinking our weight in alcohol."

"Got to love it. Although don't you think Shen and Akali should really try to give us some advice about how much is too much. Or you know, at least stop us before we destroy some organs. Our own, to be specific."

"They're around our age as well so I don't expect much from them."

"You realise that they are both in their mid-thirties right?"

"What!? Since when?"

"Since thirty-something years ago I think."

"What- you- shut up and answer the main question!"

"Shen is thirty six and Akali is thirty four."

"Thirty four… I'm not going to look that good when I'm thirty."

"You're going to look exactly as you are right now."

"Oh yeah. Woo."

"It's great, right?"

"Yeah. I might change my hair colour every few years though."

"Sure, but I get to grow a tache every once in a while as well."

"I'm going to have to ban that."

"Why?" He cried with over-exaggerated sadness painted on his face.

"Because I don't want to feel your moustache on my face every time we kiss. Which we do a lot."

"That's a weak reason to deprive me of my male birth-right to a glorious moustache."

"Your arse must be jealous of all the shit coming out your mouth."

"Woah! Where did THAT come from?"

"I'm tired and staring at rain while we talk about moustaches. Joy is not exactly flowing through me right now."

"Speaking of which, how'd your conversation with her go?"

"Quite well actually. I kind of forgot what I was actually doing but she seems like a nice person and I think we could be friends so it doesn't really matter."

"That sounds a lot like what you were supposed to be doing anyway so all's well!"

"You know we should probably go talk to her instead of staring at water falling from the sky like some sort of crazy tribals trying to appease their rain-god."

"Mhmm. By the way do you think we should tell the world about the total lack of gods?"

"Nah they seem happy enough. If they start making wars over it though I'm going to burst that bubble with a rocket launcher."

"I can't wait. At best I'll have to wait a few years before we get to do that."

"You're not swinging into a pessimistic mood, are you?"

"Nah it's fine. I'm just always pessimistic about religion."

"I don't see the problem with most of them."

"Normally there isn't much wrong with them. Once they start trying to shove it in people's faces I'm going to pull out the axe."

"And I'll get my… I don't know… I suppose I'll just get my Orb and start throwing it."

He used his free hand to thumbs-up as I started pulling him down the stairs. It got very suddenly warmer a few steps down, causing my tails to spread out subconsciously. One of them rubbed against Zoh's face so I decided to wrap it around his shoulders and leave it there. He moved it about a bit to get it comfortable as we got to the bottom of the stairs. It was brilliantly warm compared to what had become of the outside, but I could not see what created the out-of-place temperature. Although I didn't care to find out at that point because Akali and Shen were gone, leaving Zed to talk to Joy.

"So then… ever killed anyone?"

"Zed stop talking."

He looked over to me and sighed.

"I was the only one contributing anyway. Going to go talk to my students."

He vanished into thin air just before me and Zoh sat down next to each other; opposite Joy.

"That guy doesn't have many conversation topics." She noted while sitting up in her chair.

"It's just Zed. Talking isn't his strong point. By the way, do you know where Shen and Akali went?"

"They said they were going to 'obtain drinks and remove specific Summoners from the equation'."

"I wonder how they plan to do that…"


General POV

Miles away from the rest of the group, the two Kinkou warriors found themselves in a small village which Shen vaguely recognised from a particularly inebriated night. If his memory served him as well as he believed it did, there was a brewery at the other end of the village right next to a market square. Whether or not the market was out entirely depended on how willing the townspeople were to get up early to put the stalls in place. If they weren't, Akali knew of another village not far from where they were which would certainly have its market stalls up but would also certainly have Summoners browsing them.

One taken corner later their questions and worries were put to rest by the sight of a somewhat bustling market set on a stone town-square with plant-life of all shapes, sizes and colours dotted around. If not for the encroaching clouds it would have been a nice day, but neither ninja was too bothered about the conditions so long as they could get what they came for.

Having already discussed the plan, they split up and each headed towards a different part of the market. Akali quickly spotted the thing she was looking for, a butcher's stall. She hastily strolled to it and pointed out everything she needed to the woman behind the stall. Akali couldn't help but feel considerably better about her appearance when compared to the butcher. Even with those thoughts still flying around in her mind, she put on a smile and accepted the plastic bag in one hand while handing the woman more than enough gold coins to cover it. The stall owner saw through Akali's fake smile but gave just as weak of one back despite that.

Hastily making his way from the stall, Shen found himself getting more than a few sideways glances. The emotions behind the glances varied so wildly that he could not come to any proper conclusions about what it was they were looking at him for. The ninja hoped that they were mostly negative, purely so that when they got the population on their side it would be all the more satisfying.

Shen took his mind off the pointless subject and peeked through the hustle and bustle whenever he could to see where Akali was. She was perfectly on time so it was no surprise when they were reunited back where they had split before soon.

"Everything accounted for?"

"Got everything we could need. Do you have all the drinks and bread?"

Shen nodded then began making his way with Akali out of the village. They were, however, intercepted at the exit of the village. A group of Noxians of all people, led by Darius, stood in their path. The ninja's stood at about two to nine with houses on either side and a long, empty street behind them. On a normal day, Shen would teleport away without an issue. Unfortunately for the Noxians, Akali was with him. Leaving a fight as the only viable option.

"Halt, criminal scum! Grand General Swain has ordered your heads to be delivered to his desk! I shall deliver them!"

Both ninja's attempted to put their plastic bags on the ground, only for the ground under them to be punctured by arrows. Shen considered that a challenge for him to fight with his shopping in-hand. Akali did what Shen did, believing there to be a logical reason behind it.

In an instant the Noxians were diving towards Akali and Shen, who were only just getting to pulling one of their weapons out each. The first clang of metal came from Akali's Kama hitting a Noxian two-handed sword. She barely managed to push the sword back then deliver a kick to his jaw. It knocked the man onto his back long enough for Akali to stab his leg, keeping him out of the rest of the fight. She looked over to see Shen fighting Darius as another Noxian moved to engage her in combat.

Shen's shopping bag was nearly sliced in half by Darius' last swipe. He only avoided that terrible outcome by smacking the Noxian's empty hand with his sword, though it caused no long term damage due to the Summoners magic. That also meant that somewhere Summoners were paying enough attention to keep Darius' invulnerability spell active. Which also meant reinforcements would be arriving soon.

After striking another Noxian who attempted to help their leader, Shen waited then ducked when Darius attempted to attack him. Just as planned, Shen got Darius' axe under his shoulder and tugged on it. Immediately the Noxian was put off balance so the ninja took advantage and jumped atop him and drove Darius down to the ground, smashing his head into the rough gravel. The Noxian roared in anger before Shen kicked his head as hard as his legs would allow, knocking Darius out cold.

Suddenly Shen felt a sensation he had not since they left the League. He looked down to the source and found a spear-tip poking through the side of his stomach. It didn't hit anything important but it did really quite hurt.

"Rude." Shen declared before pushing the spear back through his stomach, smacking the wielder of it hard enough in the stomach to take the wind out of their lungs. The ninja then elbowed the keeled-over Noxian on the head, knocking him to the ground. When he looked up Akali was done with the rest of them. She stared back and instantly her eyes were full of concern.

"Shen we have to take you back home. Zoh should be able to patch you up."

The ninja nodded then put his weapon back in its sheathe and held his wounded side.

"Are you going to be alright to walk there or will you bleed out before then?" Akali asked while moving over to Shen and pulling his arm over her shoulder to support him.

"I'll be able to make it there. Death by bleeding out is not the way I plan to go."

As they walked away from the town, Akali couldn't help but be concerned by Shen's last sentence.

"So, how do you plan to go?"

"I haven't thought of all the details as of yet but the one thing I am certain of is I want to be with you until the bitter end. With that said, I think I may have lost my ability to act without bias."

"And I don't care. All that matters right now is that I feel the same way about everything you just said." Akali replied while kissing Shen's face-mask.


Ahri POV

I was really beginning to enjoy Joy's tendency to not pay any attention to Zoh what-so-ever. He was clearly getting annoyed by the way she was acting. It seemed as though he was not even there. She was just telling me about stories from before she joined the League when Zoh began down the road of abnormal irritation.

"So you're saying that you dyed your hair green to make fun of other people?"

"Yeah. I was taking the mick of them hippy bastards."

"I like it. I might even try something similar one day. What do you think Zoh?"

"Do whatever you want-" He started before being cut-off by Joy:

"So Ahri how was life like when you first became a human? Did you have to learn everything we do or was it already in your head?"

Zoh stood up then flipped his chair and threw his hands in the air.

"I'm done."

He walked into our bedroom and jumped onto the bed.

"Don't mind him. He's having a tantrum."

"He wasn't really helping the conversation along anyway."

"Yep. He just isn't used to not being the centre of attention. Aren't you Zoh?" I declared, raising my voice near the end.

"Just keep talking to your new best friend!"

"Stop crying you big baby."

He picked a pillow up from under his head then dropped it on his own face. Joy must have seen the look in my eye when I was staring at him.

"So I take it I should go and give you guys a while." She asserted while pushing her chair back so that she could stand up.

"No, no, don't bother. I'll probably just snuggle with Zoh later."

"What shall we do until then?"

"I don't know."

A moment later Akali and Shen stumbled into the room from the stairs, blood dripping down Shen's side. They dropped some plastic bags by the door then Akali sat Shen down on the chair. I was still in awe by the time Zoh looked over and ran in. Something must have gone very wrong for Shen to get injured.

"Oh my- Shen what happened?"

"I got stabbed and am now bleeding profusely from the wound."

"Yeah, I noticed. Get on the table and I'll improvise something."

Zoh pressed a button which made a white and red version of his normal armour appear on him, except the symbol on the front was replaced by a red cross.

"Okay Shen I'm going to need you to stand up and take your shirt off, or at least just pull it up from the wound."

Shen stood and tugged his shirt off with the help of Akali. Zoh knelt down and stared through the hole in Shen's side. It was quite a large hole, all things considered.

"Damn. I'll be honest with you Shen, this is going to be a lot of guesswork."

Zoh pulled a bottle out of a backpack and dabbed it against some cloth before using it to clean the wound up.

"Alright girls if you could just move the chairs away then help him get sat up on the table. In a few seconds it's going to be very difficult for Shen to do basic functions."

I blinked out of my haze then got up and threw all the chairs near me to the side. Akali and Joy helped, and then myself and the female ninja grabbed one of Shen's arms each to put him up on the table. Seconds later he blacked out completely from loss of blood, forcing Akali and I to hold him up so Zoh could work.

"Oh thank god he's unconscious. This next bit would really hurt." He explained before pulling out some metal and a blow-torch, which he then used to make the metal red-hot.

"You have teleportation and an axe which defies the laws of physics yet you still need cauterise the wound!?" Akali exclaimed quizzically just before Zoh pressed the metal against Shen's wound. I cringed at the sound as a tiny bit of smoke went up into the air.

Somehow it must have been enough to wake Shen up.

"How unfortunate, that sort of hurts." He explained while scratching his head.

"Yeah so… that wasn't the painful bit…" Zoh noted while pulling out a large needle from his backpack.


Will Shen make it? Will Joy get laid? Will Zoh get to play crazy-doctor? All this and more will be answered in the next episode!

Aww does anyone else remember when TV shows had those at the end. It was always the same guy and they never really answered any of the example questions. Those were the days.

Yeah I really don't have anything else to say so I'll just think up a joke and put it in the pun section way above.

Cya everyone! As always, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.