Greetings everyone!

I'm pretty damn excited right now because it's late and I'm at the awkward middle-ground between drowsy and barely managing to stay awake where I end up being far more cheerful than at any other point in the day. Except for just after I have a bunch of soft drinks. After that I am generally quite excited about the universe for a few hours then it slowly fades away. I never get the hyper-crashes that other people get. Probably because I drink a lot.

Before you worry, I clean my teeth well.

PUN OF THE MONTH (I SUPPOSE): Why does Shyvana beat every other champion when it gets into the late game? Because she out-scales them.

( ゚ヮ゚)

Also I should mention that I am really bad with computers apparently. I don't know how or why, but I've done something which won't let me play SW:TOR. Literally, I bring up the client then click 'Play' and it just closes the client. It doesn't start the game. I want to play the new expansion :C

At least it has got me playing unhealthy amounts of League. Gnar is fun. I like Gnar. Good champion. Well done Riot.

Fluff-To-Stuff Ratio is about 70/30.

I suppose I'll just go ahead and start writing something. Maybe.


Chapter 37: Rogue Planet

Morning (09:00 13th):

Ahri POV

Zoh was never very good at mornings. He never seemed to get any grasp of the idea that you generally wait for everyone else to be up before you do something very loud. I couldn't even tell what it was, it was just something far too loud. The worst part was that I could never rely on Akali or Shen to shut him up. Those two slept like bricks.

After a few minutes of unsuccessful attempts at using the covers and pillows to block out the noise I gave up and put my clothes on. I had a few seconds where Zoh stopped making noise and I could enjoy the feel of freshly washed silk. It was my reward for having actually done a few productive things the day before, though when I thought of it that did bring the idea into my mind that Zoh was making tons of noise in some misguided attempt at revenge.

I stopped pondering as the noise resumed then went through the door then up the stairs. I continued outside into the morning sun and found Zoh working on some kind of new armour. Just from his expression I could tell that he had found the coffee and that we were going to need to get more.

It was difficult not to simply watch as he hammered away at the somewhat unique-looking armour. I couldn't really get a good look before he noticed me and immediately threw the hammer away to greet me:

"Good morning! I had a really dangerous and possibly idiotic idea so I had to make it!"

"Don't you think it is a bit early for this?"

"Well normally yeah it would be but not now because I woke up early then went to get some water but decided that instead I would get coffee because I found coffee so then I had a bit much then I thought up an idea for bendy gauss compressor tubes then I came up with the idea to put them in armour so I'm putting them in armour come look cause-"

"Zoh, take a breath." I interrupted while making my way over to where he had made his armour. It was just on the floor with his tools laid around it. From a distance it was nothing spectacular but up close I realised how strange of a thing it really was. The entirety of it was made of little segments of metallic tubing that were all a light grey colour. There were also a few red arrows painted neatly on top to indicate something. I assumed Zoh knew what they did. It looked mostly complete except it was missing a helmet or face-mask.

"Do you want to see how it works?"

"Alright. But after you've shown me we're going back to bed."

"Yeah, yeah sure whatever I will probably okay." He muttered before picking the armour up off the ground and pulling it apart down the middle.

"Magnets." He chuckled while putting on both sides of the armour then sticking the magnets back together.

Zoh did a few flexes and stretches inside the armour before looking at me.

"Cool, right?"

"I don't see what is so different."

"Like, all the things! I have so much new flexibility!"

"Don't you have a set of armour which is just made of bendy metal? That is basically the same thing."

"No you don't get the idea behind this. And plus, you're referring to my stealth armour. What this stuff allows me to do is mount scaled armour plates on top to have strong armour and lots of manoeuvrability."

"Why can't you do that with the other armour?"

"Because scaled armour plates are really damn heavy. If you tried to hold my normal armour up you would realise why it has to be so big."

"So what you're saying is this stuff goes below normal armour so you can have smaller armour that is as effective."

"Yeah."

"So you won't use your normal armour?"

"No. I like my armour. It has sentimental value and is a reference to marines from space. How could I not wear it?"

"What's a marine and why is it in space?"

"Just… just stop. Please. Learn at least a little bit of nerd-culture."

"What is that? You're not making any sense!"

"This is making me so disappointed. I was really up there after the coffee and you've brought me right down. I want to teach you this stuff but I don't even know where to start. There's so much… we really need the internet here. I mean even then there's like, a few weeks worth of Star Wars stuff alone. That is if you are a quick reader. I don't even know. So, uhh… yeah. Maybe by the time you're thirty you'll be caught up. Then this relationship will be able to move along properly."

"So this is something you actually care about then?"

"Of course. I'm a man of the internet age! And SCIENCE! But that is irrelevant."

"You can just go ahead and stop with this right now or I'm gonna slap you."

"That would be awful rude of you to do."

"If I cared, I wouldn't do it."

"I don't know… I think you're bluffing."

Zoh irritated me just a bit too much with that so I back-handed him. His face was knocked to the side and he appeared to be in a decent amount of pain.

"Alright then, that hurt. I feel like this is something that should not be happening. Is this normal for relationships?"

"Probably not. But I doubt there is another relationship in the universe between a nine-tailed fox woman and a dude from space who shouts 'SCIENCE!' far more than can possibly be normal."

"Good point. Shall we go sleep now?"

"Please."

San struggled to get out of his armour then threw it aside before taking my hand and walking with me inside.

A few hours later (12:00):

Despite it all, I had fallen asleep at some point. Akali and Shen were doing something outside and Zed was slashing away at something but I still drifted off. It was difficult to tell how long it was before I woke up but for once it was actually my choice when I did. There was no massively loud noise, no earthquake caused by Zoh, no falling out of bed. I just got to wake up. It felt even better knowing that Zoh was actually there with me for once. It was a bit warm with his arms around me but I didn't mind it enough to shove him away. Instead, I nuzzled against him and curled up slightly to enjoy a little bit of nothing as much as possible.

For a little while nothing happened until I felt a bit of sudden movement from Zoh. I was genuinely concerned that I would have to wake up until I realised that it was just Zoh moving his arm to stroke my head. He kept on stroking my hair for a while until I stopped his hand with a tail and pulled my head away from his chest.

"I think we might have to wake up soon. But… let's give it a minute. I feel like we're back in a more care-free time and I want to make the most of it."

"Well, I bet I can guess how you want to do that. Mostly because it's what I want to do as well and we normally agree on this stuff."

I pushed Zoh onto his back then got on top of him, letting my breasts dangle in his face for a moment. He put his hands on my waist just as I shifted down his stomach to give him a kiss. I grabbed the back of his head with my hands and held onto him as he slowly caressed my thighs. Zoh's hands plucked at my underwear but he didn't try to pull them right off, instead just teasing me with the possibility. He stopped after a second then moved both hands onto my butt. I felt myself getting a bit hot so I pulled away before it got out of hand.

"That's enough for now Zoh. We don't have enough of the time or privacy we need. If you can keep up this enthusiasm for later it would be nice."

"I don't think that will be too difficult." He whispered before giving me a quick kiss on the lips. I pulled his hands off my arse then got off him. Zoh got out of bed and started to get dressed as I laid in bed. As he got into his clothes I sat up on my knees and put my hands in the air. He stared at me for a second with a confused expression on his face so I explained:

"I'm not really feeling energetic today so dress me please."

Zoh put on his jacket then looked around for a moment until he found my fresh set of clothes. I reached out for them as Zoh stepped over to me and pulled the clothes over my head. He adjusted it so that my chest was as barely-covered as usual then sorted out the sleeves. Zoh picked up my shoes then waited for me to move my legs out so that he could put them on. I smiled down at him as he tied my shoes then kissed my legs.

"Thanks Zoh. If you ever want me to dress you I'll probably do it."

"I feel like we would get about half-way through that process before getting undressed and having sex. And it would almost certainly be your fault."

"You don't know that."

Zoh stared me straight in the eyes for a few seconds while I attempted to stare back. Unfortunately for me, I was not nearly as certain of my position as he was so I had to look away.

"Exactly. It would be exceptionally strange for you to be able to get that close to me in that way without something happening. I imagine it would start off well, with you putting on my shirt and keeping your composure, for the most part. But we both know as soon as you began putting on my trousers something would happen which would quickly spiral into things I will not describe in pleasant company."

"It's oral isn't it? That's where it would start."

"Yeah that's generally where we tend to go from. Sometimes we go straight into the deep end, both figuratively and literally, but that's not the norm."

"Pretty sure we talked about not speaking of this stuff."

"No, we agreed to not talk about this stuff in front of other people. When it's just us, we can say whatever."

"I don't remember this happening."

"Strange, I remember it perfectly. It was a few weeks ago and we were just chatting like normal on the sofa. One thing led to another and we got talking about a few rules to avoid embarrassments. I suggested that we not talk about anything intimate in front of other people but you weren't sure so I had to do some… 'convincing' in order to get you to agree. We then got totally wasted."

"That sounds like it was a great time for me. Wish I remembered it better."

"It was pretty fantastic for all involved. Pretty soon after the drinking began Nocturne showed up. Who would have thought he could get pissed?"

"Yeah I was surprised when he first got drunk. Then again I was surprised when Rengar got drunk for the first time so apparently I have no clue how alcohol works."

"Well it-"

"I don't want you to explain it to me."

"Okay good because I was just going to guess. I have no idea how it works and I don't care to find out."

"There is no amount of money I wouldn't bet on you getting curious and finding out at some point."

"I could literally live for the rest of time if I avoid danger so of course I'll find out at one point or another."

"That's why I would bet infinite amounts of money on it. Now to find someone stupid enough to make that bet…"

"Good luck with that. Anyway, we should probably go find something to do. We don't want to be talking all day."

"Yeah I suppose that does sound like the worst thing that could possibly happen in the entirety of galactic history."

We both moved over to the door and I opened it to find that Zed was standing right in front of me holding a plastic bag.

"On behalf of myself, Shen and Akali I would like to present you with this. Ahri, you receive this and an order to use it to address a grievance that other members of this group have brought to my attention."

I took the plastic bag from his hand and looked inside. Surprisingly, there was a pricey-looking bra inside.

"Why are you giving me this?"

"You sleep-walk. We noticed last night that you do not use one of these however you do wear the other thing. Akali picked this out for you. Noted that it matched well."

Zed bowed his head then closed the door. I turned to Zoh with an eyebrow raised. He never told me that I sleep-walked before then.

"In my defence, I didn't tell you because I think it's cute."

"How is sleep-walking cute?"

"You act like a cat. It's really quite adorable."

"A cat? Really?"

"Yeah. You sort of crawl around on all-fours and paw at things with your hands. Then, after a while, you get into bed and curl up next to me."

"That's… weird."

"I know, but I ain't complaining."

After a moment of thinking about the idea of sleep-walking and acting like a cat I removed the bra from the bag and held it up in front of me. To my surprise it perfectly matched the rest of my clothes, being predominantly red with white edges and golden symbols dotted around. I couldn't help but admire how well it went with my panties; though I was concerned that Akali had seen my panties enough times to find something that would so precisely match them. Zoh seemed to appreciate them as well.

"She knows your style very well it appears."

"I know. I'm not quite sure whether or not I should be worried or thankful."

"You've never been too worried with people seeing your womanly-bits before so worried wouldn't be my response were I in your situation."

"Can't really deny that one. Really I'm only worried about it when I think someone else might not want to see me half-naked. That's something I should probably ask Akali."

"Yeah. We already know Zed and Shen's views on the subject. We'll go ask in a minute. Come on, I'll help you get that on."

I gave the bra to Zoh then pulled my clothes down just enough to reveal my breasts. Zoh gave the bra back to me so I put it on as he walked around me. He tied it up then helped me pull up my clothes over it before stepping around to look at me from the front.

"Yep, there's just as much cleavage as before. The only difference I can see is the strings over your shoulders. Hold on, I've got an idea." He commented before getting hold of the end of the string where it attached to the main part. For a moment I thought he was just fondling my breast, which I was perfectly okay with, but it turned out that he had found some way to detach the string. He did the same with the other then went around me to detach them at the back as well.

"At this point I am starting to question if Akali actually bought this or made it herself."

"I can't lie, it does seem very oddly suited to your needs." He replied before throwing the bits of string onto the bed.

"That's another thing we can ask. We've practically planned out the main bits of the conversation already."

"From experience, that is always a good thing."

Zoh opened the door for me then we both went out into the main room. Akali was sitting at the table with her legs up all by herself. She appeared to be quite relaxed.

"Hey Akali. Enjoying yourself?"

"Yeah. I'm having a bit of time off."

"Isn't most of your time spent doing not much these days?"

"I normally think about work and make plans in my head all day because Shen asked me to a few days ago but I must have done something right cause I get to sit around all of today and do nothing."

"He makes you think about that stuff all day?" I asked while taking a seat opposite her.

"Eh, when he first asked I wasn't too excited about it but when they're not glowing yellow he has really good puppy-dog eyes."

"I thought those were his eyes all the time."

"Nah, they only do that when he's looking for problems with the balance of the world around him."

"That's nice I suppose." I concluded while kicking my feet up onto the table. Zoh tapped my shoulder then whispered into my ear:

"I'm going to go outside. There's some stuff I've got to do."

"Do you need any help?"

"Not really. It's all pretty mundane stuff."

"Mundane for you is very different to actual mundane."

"That doesn't matter. I'll see you in a minute."

Zoh gave me a kiss on the cheek then went up the stairs. I heard his footsteps trail away until the sounds of wind and birds covered them completely. Akali stared at me from across the table with an intrigued expression.

"What do you think he's gonna to do?"

"I don't know. It's normally best not to think about it."

"Don't you ever wonder though? We could have some fun spying on him."

"Well… doesn't this seem a bit bad to you? Like, he does have rights and everything."

"Oh come on, we're his friends aren't we?"

"Uh… I'm still not comfortable with this."

"Oh come on how different is it to what we did yesterday?"

"We knew what they were doing yesterday, but not how they would do it."

"Ahri it's not like he will care. Let's be honest, he might get into a situation where he needs help. Plus, he said it would only take a moment."

"Alright, fine… but if he catches us this is a hundred per cent your idea and I'm getting dragged along unwillingly."

"Eh, I can live with that. Come on before he gets too far away."

We both got up then jogged up the stairs. We emerged into the outside world and, as expected, could not see anything of Zoh. Akali must have noticed something I did not as she got close to the ground and began examining a specific bit of ground.

"Zoh teleported away from this spot to another planet."

"How can you tell?"

"I spent a year meditating in a long-forgotten temple nestled high in the snow-capped peaks of the Freljord to discover how to identify such things."

"Wow. That's impressive."

"Nah I'm just kidding I found something Zoh made that does it. Look:" She laughed while standing up and showing me the device.

"Fair enough."

"To be fair, I have spent a few weeks on the mountains in the Freljord but it was for a skiing holiday that me, Shen and Kennen went on a few years ago."

"That's nice. So what are we going to do now? It's not like we can follow Zoh all the way to another planet."

"Yeah we can-" She retorted before quickly pressing a few buttons on the device. There was a bright flash of orange light as I felt the normal sensation of being instantly moved a huge distance. I clenched my eyes shut for a second in reaction to the light but when I felt that it was done I opened my eyes and almost wished I hadn't. We were definitely on another planet.

I panicked for a second and looked frantically for Akali, only calming a little when I found her.

"Ahri, is the sky normally on fire? I feel like it shouldn't be on fire."

With a bit of hesitation I stared up. The sky was genuinely burning a bright mix of red and yellow. Tendrils of super-hot blue fire lashed out towards the ground and giant waves swept through it like far more terrifying versions of those found in water. The only time the fire was parted was when meteorites flew through it, crashing into the ground with enough force to level entire buildings.

"I am really starting to think we should have just left this one to Zoh." I noted while keeping my gaze in the sky out of fear.

"You know, I'm thinking the same thing. What the hell would make Zoh come here?"

Despite all of my survival instincts urging me against it, I dared look down from the sky and survey our surroundings for answers. From memory I worked out that we were probably inside a caldera; in other words, a massive volcano with the funnel blocked. There were a few trees that were not burned out husks but it was mostly barren. The ground in the caldera was slanted massively so that we were a few hundred metres above the lowest part of it. Thanks to our vantage point I could see that there was a town down near the lower end of the caldera. It was then that I realised the reason for Zoh going to that planet: a small army was amassing outside of the town walls.

"Akali look there!"

"Holy fuck that's a lot of people. Do you think Zoh is going to try take all of them on alone?"

"If he is even thinking about it I'm going to beat him. There is no way I'm letting him die because he wants to be heroic."

"Yeah. The three of us will take them on together!" Akali beamed just before running in the direction of the town. It was a few miles away so we had a bit of a way to go.

"Akali I don't think the three of us can take all of them on. There's got to be tens of thousands of people in that group."

"That just means it will take a while."

"We can't take on that many people! Let's at least try to think of an alternative way to sort this out first."

"Yeah sure whatever as long as it isn't boring."

We kept running for a few minutes until we found Zoh strolling casually in the direction of the town, whistling all the way. He was still in his suit and had his hands in his pockets. When we got within a few metres of him Zoh turned and smiled at us as we slowed to his pace.

"Hello both. I was just wondering when you would catch up."

Akali stared at me and I shrugged in response before looking over to Zoh.

"You knew we were going to follow you?"

"Yeah I wanted to get you here without groaning about the, you know, fire and stuff. So, I put that device Akali got her hands on in a very specific place for her to find. Then I got Shen to give Akali a day off and it all fell into place from there."

"So you planned all of that out just so that we didn't groan about having to come to this planet with you?" Akali questioned.

"Yes."

"You have too much free time."

"I won't deny that."

"Alright so why are we all here anyway?" I queried as Zoh checked his watch.

"This:" He declared while gesturing to everything around us.

"I've been studying this planet for years now. It's an incredibly rare type of rogue planet. What makes this planet so cool is that, despite not having a star to orbit, it is viable for life. Normally rogue planets are far too cold for this sort of thing but at some point something happened which made this one the exception."

"That's really nice but what does it have to do with us?"

"Well, as you can see that town is about to get destroyed in a big way. The thing is, that's the last remaining town on this with citizens from the species that inhabits this planet normally. And that army… that's from my people. Apparently there has been a bit of trouble in the empire of late with various military leaders vying for power. The way the guy in charge of this lot has decided to show his strength is by committing genocide. Bit of a douche if you ask me."

"Yeah I'd say so. Do you have a plan for how we can kick this guy's face in?"

"Essentially we're going to be all stealthy like and get into the enemy camp in a few minutes. Once inside we will have only a few minutes to take out the three generators powering a shield around the main tent where the douche and his buddies will be. We will take out the generators then sneak into his tent and confront him. Now remember, everyone in that army will be wearing the standard battle armour that I designed; however they will have removed the function where I can turn them all off for a couple minutes by now."

"Alright so who is this guy?"

"No idea. I never really paid much attention to who the higher ups were and he hasn't been in the open so far. All I know is people have been calling him a dude so we know that much."

"If your plan should succeed, what do we do to prevent the army from marching on the town?" Akali questioned.

"Standard military procedure is to pull back and reinforce position until a new commander has been selected. What I plan to do is wait until they are deciding then show up with something scary going on around me to force them all to bugger off. They won't return here afterwards because the only one really into the whole genocide thing is their commander."

"That's the theory."

"When have I ever been wrong? Excluding all the times I have been wrong."

"I can already see that we are going to be making things up as we go along quite a bit here. Before we get on with it, is there any reason why they have three generators for a shield?"

"Because the assassin teams of most civilisations are made up of two people."

"Alright then let's get on with it."

We began on our way to the ever-increasing camp. Even then there was still a steady stream of soldiers marching into the camp in preparation for the attack. Seeing the sheer amount of movement in the camp made me doubt if my sneaking skills would be good enough. They were never something I spent much time on.

After a short walk we were nearing the makeshift walls of the camp. They were only a few metres high and made of what looked like some sort of flimsy metal. Thankfully, the makeshift nature of them made sure that no guards could stand on them and keep watch so all we had to look out for was the occasional patrol. As we had very little time before the town was destroyed, Zoh immediately sliced a hole in the wall with his axe and we rushed in. We ducked behind some cover before Zoh whispered:

"Akali, you take the generator in that direction. Ahri, you take the one on the opposite side of the camp. I'll take the one farthest from us then we all meet in the main tent. We'll have a few seconds to get there after the power goes off before they get wise on what's happening. If you're not in the main tent by then prepare for a long and hard fight."

I and Akali nodded simultaneously then started sneaking our ways in the directions Zoh had pointed while he fumbled with some small creation. Realising my situation I turned my attention back to what was around me to find, unsurprisingly, a hive of movement. Soldiers were running around in groups, all kitted out with their armour and guns. Fortunately I had a lot of supply boxes and tents to hide behind. There was no way in hell I was going to survive more than a second if they were alerted to my presence. It also helped that the helmets they wore blocked their peripheral vision almost completely, something I had learned while annoying Zoh.

I was making good progress until my attention was taken by an argument between a few soldiers. They were a few metres away so I could easily hear that it was about one of them supposedly stealing from the other. I looked on curiously through the space between two of the smaller tents as the situation escalated. One was about to throw a punch when a sword smashed into the ground between them, sending lighting off which shocked both of them. Suddenly another soldier in shining silver armour and wings appeared next to the sword, slowly pulling it from the ground. The sense of dread among the onlookers and the two soldiers who were on the ground was palpable.

"Death strikes all those who assault their allies." She declared before pointing the sword at the soldier who threw the punch.

"Consider yourself lucky I prevented you from doing so. Next time, the same luck will be nowhere to be found."

"For you, or your family."

With that she was gone and the two soldiers struggled to their feet then hurried away from one-another. I almost jumped out of my own skin when someone spoke up from behind me:

"That resolved in a rather odd fashion." Shen noted just before I turned to look at him.

"Shen what the hell are you doing here?"

"Long story short we made a bet and I lost so now I have to help you guys so he can do some personal stuff back on Runeterra. What's up with the sky?"

"Can you at least try to keep it down? I'm kinda trying to be sneaky here."

"If you insist." He whispered before taking a look around.

"So what are we doing here?"

"There's some generator thing I have to destroy. Not really sure where it is."

"You mean that contraption there?" He asked before pointing to a machine about twice my size in the middle of a very open area. It was also surrounded by people.

"Yeah. How the hell do we get to it?"

"I have a plan. Hold on."

Shen jogged away then returned a few seconds later dragging a set of armour.

"How did you get that?"

"I asked someone nicely."

"And they just gave it to you like that?"

"No. They refused so I just hit them over the head with a large rock. Turns out it's women's armour so you're going to have to wear it."

"Fine." I reluctantly agreed before putting it on, with considerable help from Shen.

"I always hated this stuff. How does anyone move around in these things?"

"To be fair to Zoh, it isn't going to be exactly your size. Now go put something explosive on that thing, set a timer then run like hell. I'll be watching."

"If this doesn't work it's on you."

"It's going to work. You have my word."

He patted me on the back as I began stumbling towards the generator. It was like walking on stilts while carrying a few kilos of weight on your back. My tails were all squished in the tiny space behind my back and my ears were pressed onto my head by the helmet. I could barely see and the list of annoyances only grew as I got into the open. Already I was beginning to sweat and the owner of the armour must have had really small boobs because mine were not even close to fitting. I was still mentally listing off my grievances when I reached the generator. Not really knowing what to do I just knelt down and was about to put what looked like an explosive on it when someone spoke from behind me. I quickly put what I hoped was an explosive out of sight then spun around to see it was the lady in silver armour from before.

"Greetings soldier. I require you to join me in my tent for a private meeting. Whether you are in trouble or not has yet to be decided."

"Uhh… can I just finish here first? If I leave it the generator might have a malfunction."

"Of course."

I turned back around and placed the thing I was assuming to be explosive and set a timer on it for a few minutes.

"Soldier, I do not mean any offence but your accent has changed slightly since last we met. May I ask why?"

I swung back around to her and tried to think up an excuse which could work.

"I'm… kind of ill. It's nothing serious just a bit bunged up. And, you know, been hanging around soldiers from different places. Kind of picked up some stuff."

"I shall take your word on the matter. Should your condition worsen please wait until the battle-wounded have been processed before seeing a medic. Are you finished?"

"Yeah looks like it."

"Very well. Follow me."

She began walking in the direction of the main tent, a stroke of luck for me. I followed and motioned for Shen move with us.

It was not long before I was led into a tent slightly larger than the average and only a few metres from the dome-shaped shield of the main one. I was quite frightened when I walked in but that evaporated when she spun around and hugged me.

"I missed you so much. Every moment I spend stopping these stupid cunts from tearing each other apart makes me want to see you more if only to stop me from going totally fucking mad."

I gingerly hugged back and tried to make sense what I'd just heard. At that point I had to channel my inner actress to sound convincing while replying:

"Yeah I missed you too. Being surrounded by these obnoxious twats has gotten on my nerves as well."

It was difficult to tell what kind of relationship the person who's armour I was wearing had with this other woman so I had to choose my words carefully.

"You knew what you were getting in for when you joined. I came into this blind." She joked before letting go and removing her helmet. Her long, red hair immediately flew out and made me slightly envious. She was a good-looking girl with blue eyes and the cutest of all features: dimples. Definitely not what I expected from how she acted outside of that tent.

"So, are you going to take your helmet off too?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm not going to kiss a helmet."

"Oh you wouldn't want to look at me right now. I made the mistake of putting some make-up on and it's all messed up."

"Alright then." She replied before closing her eyes and puckering her lips.

I considered leaving right there but if I did she would know something was wrong and the whole plan would fail. After a lot of arguing with myself mentally I decided that Zoh would understand so I pulled off my helmet and kissed her. She put a lot of passion into it but I couldn't really force myself to return it so I ended it as soon as it felt like she was done and put my helmet back on.

"You really must be ill. I expect better performance later on."

"Will do. I'll probably get over it in a few hours."

"Good luck in the battle and try not to get yourself killed." She concluded before putting her helmet back on and disappearing. As soon as she was gone I realised that Zoh had been sitting on a chair behind her the entire time. He looked quite angry.

"Zoh I can explain-"

"Oh no I don't need any explanation. You just decided all by yourself to go and do something really hot and not even tell me about it. You're lucky I was already hiding in here."

"You're not mad?"

"Nope. Technically that was cheating I suppose but I wouldn't really say it counts. Any straight man can appreciate what you just did."

"Oh, well it's all good then."

A second later something exploded quite a bit of distance behind me.

"Sounds like you just did your job. Let's go get in a fight." Zoh announced before going through the back entrance of the tent. I followed him then we both tried to walk casually towards our objective.

"Zoh can I take this stuff off before we go in there?"

"No time. You'll just have to keep it on until we are done here."

I groaned as Akali and Shen joined us. We strode through the tent doors and found that there was a distinct lack of guards. It was just us and two people in golden armour with red capes sitting at a table with a map of the area in the middle. They looked up at us but their attention was taken by Zoh alone after a second, presumably because he removed his helmet to speak:

"Hello! How are you?"

They both stood up and removed their helmets, revealing one to be Lita and the other was Zoh's dad.

"Oh look, it's the two people I hate most. I guess I shouldn't be surprised really. Going to punch Dis next time I see him."

"Look at that, your plan worked Lita. Zoh is here just as planned. Men! Kill the intruders and bring me Zoh's head!"

Out of nowhere we were surrounded by many soldiers who did not look all too friendly.

"I was going to be nice but now I'm going to destroy you for threatening to remove my head. I like my head. It works fine where it is."


Ahahh so elephant in the room this is absurdly late. Like, a month late. Essentially what happened was I decided to catch up on my college work and also watch all of seasons 1-3 of Game of Thrones and there was Christmas stuff etc. etc. I apologise. This will hopefully not happen again, or at least not to this extent.

I hope you all enjoyed this anyway. Goodbye.