Hello and welcome to this assortment of letters!

Moving swiftly on, I have nothing to say particularly so I'll just hold on a second so that when I put the next segment it comes as a surprise.

Waiting.

Still waiting.

Nope, not waiting anymore. You are now at the PUN OF THIS CHAPTER: What is Akali's favourite breed of dog? A collie.

*canned laughter*

I'm going to say this will be about 35% stuff to 65% fluff.


Chapter 41: The factory

Ahri POV

Zoh flicked through the files with an increasingly worried face. Once he went past the last page he looked up and face-palmed.

"I fucked up so bad guys."

"What have you done?" Garen questioned while we all leaned in, eager to hear of Zoh's fuck-up.

"You see, the thing is, many years ago I was not very smart in a common sense sort of way. So, I designed a really big cannon thing because I was getting really pissed off with certain planets. You can kind of see where that was going. So long story short the League has managed to find the blueprints for the cannon and they've made a weaker version of it. There is a bright side though."

"I fail to see a good side to the League having a planet-destroying cannon."

"They have two according to this… but never mind that. The real advantage we have here is that, clearly, they haven't quite figured how to make the uncapped version. Which is great because this planet is kinda pretty so if it blew up I'd be real upset about it."

"They still managed to destroy an entire mountain with it." Akali interjected.

"Well, a mountain is not too difficult to blow up. A star system on the other hand… thankfully, I lost the back-matter designs in a wormhole so no worries on that front."

"Don't you mean black-matter?" I queried in a smart-ass fashion.

"No. Back-matter. If you destroy back-matter it sets the area around it back to what it was like at the beginning of this current universe. It could theoretically make you look younger if you fuck about with the time-line a bit but you might also turn into a gecko. Trust me, I learned the hard way."

"I… I'm not going to ask." Akali sighed while massaging her temples.

"Back to the topic at hand, all is not lost. If we just get rid of the manufacturing plant and destroy all of the blueprints then this problem will be over."

"But you said they already acquired two of these weapons. Is that not enough to destroy sizeable portions of the planet?" Garen inquired.

"I wouldn't worry too much about that. It only works once and if you try to fire it a second time the cannon's power core collapses the fabric of reality around it."

"That does not sound like a positive thing."

"It isn't for anyone or anything in the immediate vicinity. But it's only a metre tall and wide so we don't have to worry too much."

"So that leaves them with one functioning cannon if we destroy the factory. Could they not use that to force Demacia to help them once more?"

"That would be correct… bugger. I guess we're going to destroy the factory before heading to Noxus. The functioning one should be storied nearby."

Zoh went through the files again then pointed at something on the paper:

"It's located in the Freljord a few miles west of the Abyss."

Everyone let out disgruntled sighs and we began walking back down the road. After a minute we got to some cross-roads. We were about to head down the northern path when I heard someone shout "OI!" from down the road behind us.

Zoh's POV

I swung around and was immediately confused by the sight of my mother and sister strolling towards us. After a moment of hesitation while I tried to work out why they were so far from Ionia. I let Ahri step down from my shoulders shortly before pushing the chair into my armour. I felt a standard ping up as my mother got within a few feet of me. Garen and the ninja's got into a conversation circle, leaving me and Ahri alone to deal with my mother.

"Hi… what are you doing all the way out here?"

"That's no way to greet your mother young man."

"I know but… the question is still valid."

"Well, I was speaking to Dis and we got onto the topic of your failure to visit recently. Care to explain that?"

"Have you read a newspaper recently?"

"Yes and from what I can tell everyone else has been pulling their weight while you lot blow up mountains."

"First off, that wasn't us. It was actually a really big cannon that we're going to go destroy right now before it destroys something important."

"Oh no you're not. We are going to spend a few hours together while your friends over there deal with this 'cannon'."

"It's a really big cannon though."

"So you better give them a very big bomb to deal with it. Now hurry up, Megan wants to go bowling."

Ahri patted me on the arm before giggling:

"Good luck with that Zoh. I'll go help with the fun stuff."

She began strolling away when my mother stopped her dead by stating:

"You're not going anywhere little lady. If you expect to get the good bits from dating my son then you're sure as hell going to be around for the family excursions."

My mother and Megan began walked back down the road they came from so I sighed while going over to Garen and the ninjas.

"Alright guys, looks like you'll have to deal with this on your own. What I'd suggest is you use the working cannon to shoot the factory then hit its power core very hard until it starts leaking. At that point I'd suggest you run like hell. Good luck."

Garen grabbed my hand and shook it while replying:

"No, good luck to YOU."

After saying our goodbye's we went our separate ways. I would be lying if I said I was fully confident they could do it without me and Ahri. It all depended on how well protected the factory was and considering that Zed had just killed a council member and stole important documents, it was likely going to be on high alert.

Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do to sway my mother. She was definitely not in a good mood so it would have been a truly terrible idea to argue. I just had to hope that Ahri had caught on to the idea that my mother was not going to be very nice.

A short walk later we got to a town that was built into an abandoned quarry. It had no wall or really any defences at all. The thick swamp that surrounded it on all sides provided natural protection from wild animals or bandits. When we stood at the city limits I could see almost every part of the town. Houses and shops were built randomly and most used all the space they could. For a small town it was very densely populated. It was a hive of activity with people walking around town or visiting the stalls that lined the streets.

Strangely enough, colourful decorations brightened up the streets and buildings. As far as I knew there was nothing significant about that day so my guess was that the decorations were just there to make the town less drab.

It seemed like they worked. Everyone looked kinda happy anyway.

As we strolled down the bustling streets it felt like more and more people were staring in our direction. I wasn't sure if it was because of me or Ahri but I didn't feel particularly secure either way. In the distance I saw the bowling alley that my mother had presumably brought us to that town for. It was a few hundred feet down the road, right at the bottom of the quarry the town was built in.

People were still staring when I felt Ahri tap my arm.

"Hey Zoh, maybe you should just take the armour off."

"I feel like we're all a lot safer with me in this. Once we get inside I'll take it off."

"Don't you think you're attracting a bit too much attention with it? The League will have all its summoners out searching for Zed by now and right now you're a bit obvious."

"It's alright most of these people won't give a shit. They know they can't collect a bounty on me, if there is one, and I sincerely doubt any of them want to waste all of our time by alerting the local summoners. If there are any…"

"Fine. If we get in a fight it's going to make your mother's mood even worse though."

"For everyone's sake let's hope that doesn't happen."

We followed my mother and Megan all the way to the bowling alley then stepped inside. The moment I set foot inside I hit a wall of cool air. It was a very welcome change from the oppressively warm, damp air outside. I took my helmet off to let the cold hit my face. One thing that I had forgotten to add when I remade my armour was the air-conditioning so I had been sweating all day under the blazing sun.

I pressed a button and my armour faded away, exposing the rest of my body to the cool.

"This is the best room I've ever been in." I mumbled while stretching.

After a few seconds I felt someone poking me on the leg. When I looked down Megan was staring up at me.

"What size shoe are you?"

I had no idea. So, I reached down and pulled off one of my shoes. After a bit of searching I found a label on the inside that said it was a nine and a half.

"Let's just say it's a ten because this is a bowling alley."

Megan skipped back over to my mother who was at the desk. Ahri was there with them so I strolled over while looking around. Ten lanes with space for six people per lane on one side of the room and a bar on the other side decked up with all sorts of drinks. They also sold food there which brought me quite some relief.

Strangely enough for such a nice place there was not many people there. I guessed that it was not peak time. A good thing for us, at least.

I went over to the desk just as they all started walking away. My mother grabbed my arm and pulled me along behind them. She was either going out of her way to make me look like a child or something had hit her on the head hard enough for her to think I actually was one.

"Come on Zoh, we're at lane seven."

I frowned while getting dragged across the room. Something must have REALLY annoyed my mother.

We reached our lane and I was immediately sat down on one of the available chairs next to Megan. Ahri sat opposite us while my mother used the machine to put our names in. I stared at Ahri and we both smiled. At that moment it turned from mere bowling into a hyper-competitive battle. No-one else knew, but it was on.

Our stare-down was disrupted by my mother asking:

"Do any of you want to have the barriers up?"

Megan put her hand up.

"Honey you don't have to put your hand up, we're not at school."

"Okay mummy."

I looked down at my sister and poked her with my elbow.

"How are you getting on at school so far?"

"I'm doing really well, I've got six gold stars and James only has four."

"That's great. James will never catch up now."

"Yeah. He's a dummy."

"Well, he has four stars. He must be at least kinda smart."

"Nooooo… he got his from sports and stupid boy stuff."

"What did you get yours from?"

"Smart stuff. I got one for spelling 'elephant' correctly on my first try."

"That's very impressive. I didn't know how to do that at your age."

Megan's cheeks went red and she giggled. I patter her on the head then went on:

"You'll end up being smarter than me if you remember two things. Number one: science is pretty damn cool. Number two: explosions either mean you've done something very right or very wrong."

I ruffled her hair just as my mother called over:

"Megan you're going first. Then me, then Zoh then Ahri."

My sister hopped off her chair then went over to the rack to choose her ball. While my mother helped her get the hang of it I put my elbows on my knees and my hands under my chin. I stared at Ahri as she copied my actions then spoke up:

"I can't wait to see how well you can play this."

"I'd say I'm pretty good. It's one of those things where arm strength and precision are very helpful and where speed is utterly useless. I would hate to be someone who is entirely focused on speed right now…"

"If Megan is strong enough to play then I think anyone can do it. Really though, precision is the main thing. So I would HATE to be someone who somehow managed to miss my pussy with their dick. Twice."

We were both being as passive-aggressive as we could but Ahri was definitely better at it. I glared at her as she put on a smile, knowing full well that I had no come-back to that. Megan walked past me and sat back down so I got up and chose my bowling ball. The heaviest one felt appropriate so I stepped to the lane and tried to focus. I looked back for a second to find Ahri grinning at me. She was trying to put me off my game but I was determined to not let it happen.

I stared back down the lane then put all my strength into an underarm throw. The ball hit the floor a metre in front of me then sped down the lane and smacked into the pins, sending a few flying into the air. Once it was all settled there was one left on the far-right corner.

Hitting single pins was not my strongpoint so I waited a second for my ball to come back then I rolled it lazily down the lane. No matter how much or how little effort I put into it, the chance of me hitting the single pin was very low. I didn't even wait to see if it would hit before strolling away.

After a long game with a lot of glaring, I and Ahri were almost exactly even as I stepped up for my last shot. She was ever-so-slightly ahead of me so it was a critical moment. I steadied my breathing and tightened my grip. When I felt ready I threw my bowling ball down the lane. It immediately hit the floor then sped down the lane. All of the pins were knocked away.

I allowed myself to smile and hope. The only way Ahri would have been able to beat me was by getting a strike as well.

On the way back to my chair I passed her and we both took a second to stop and stare. I walked away a second later and sat down as she prepared. It was pretty obvious that I was slightly worried. If she did get a strike I would have definitely had to do something I wasn't one hundred per cent on.

I could barely watch as her ball went down the lane. It smashed into the pins with that satisfying crashing noise. In the end, one pin was still remaining and it was the exact same one that I had not got on my first try.

I jumped from my chair then threw my hands into the air while shouting:

"Woo! I finally won at something! Get destroyed Ahri!"

My celebration was halted by my mother standing up and stating:

"Actually, I think you will find that Megan won."

"Huh?" I queried while dropping my arms.

She pointed at the scoreboard so I looked at it and saw that Megan's worst shot took out seven of the ten pins.

"Oh. How the hell did you do that?" I asked while turning to my sister.

"I pushed the ball really hard."

"Hmm. Well… at least I beat Ahri."

Ahri stepped next to me and shrugged.

"I'll admit defeat here. As you won Megan, you can ask us both anything and we'll have to do it one time."

Megan made some exaggerated hand motions to make it look like she was thinking a lot about it.

"I want Zoh to take me to fun places while Ahri does the same thing for mum."

"Alright then. What do you consider to be a 'fun place'?"

"Dunno. What do you do for fun with each other?"

"Uhhh well… ah that's…. no we… you're not old enough to know about… that stuff… and even if you were we wouldn't… none of us could do that together." I mumbled, feeling quite uncomfortable.

"Okay. You can just figure it out as we go."

Megan slid off her seat then started skipping to the door. I followed while looking back at Ahri and my mother.

"You two have fun."

I caught up to Megan and handed in our bowling shoes as we left.

"So, do you have any idea what you want to do Megan?"

"I like ice cream."

"We'll start with that then."

Shen's POV

A snowstorm was approaching quickly from down the valley and the sun was being blotted out by a wave of clouds. The storm would be upon us within minutes so we had to make haste. The factory was in-between us and the wall of snow approaching so if we could get there before it hit we would have a considerably easier time.

I trudged through the layers of snow with Akali close behind me followed by Zed then Garen. It would have been a much more uncomfortable journey had we not stopped off at Varus' house to pick up some winter clothing. I was wearing my normal facemask, a thick coat with a hood that I kept up and some insulated trousers. It had all been given a snowy camouflage in case stealth was required.

Behind me, Akali was wearing similar clothes with the addition of snow-goggles. Zed was in his Shockblade gear and Garen was wearing his regular armour with some white paint to keep him hidden in the snow.

Once we were within a few hundred feet of the factory it became obvious that we would not be reaching it before the snowstorm. Soon enough we were being blasted by snow and my vision range was reduced to only a few inches ahead of me. Luckily for us, I could still sense the imbalance that the factory was creating. The power cores were not meant for this world and it showed.

It wasn't long before I found the wall of the factory. So far we had found no defences despite being right next to the factory. Either they were waiting to ambush us or the League was relying on no-one knowing of the factory's existence.

With all the possibilities in mind, I slowly made my way along the wall, keeping my hand on it at all times. Eventually I came upon a fire door then signalled for everyone to stop walking. With another hand signal they all stacked up behind me.

After a deep breath I kicked the door in, sending it flying off its hinges. We all rushed inside and my attention was immediately taken by the two huge cannons under construction. Between us and them was a group of at least two hundred summoners with Aatrox at their helm.

"This battle shall be a beautiful entry into the gallery of war."

Aatrox raised his weapon and the eyes of his summoners began to glow red. They all started charging at us with a deafening war cry as we drew our weapons. None of them seemed to want to use their magic, so we had a strong chance of victory.

For reasons I dare not attempt to understand, Aatrox made a b-line for me. He engaged with an overhead swing so I dived out of the way. His sword crashed into the ground and made cracks in the concrete. I took the opportunity to counter by slicing at his side with both of my swords. Just before my attack could connect he jumped back then immediately tried to thrust his weapon at my face. I crouched then kicked his weapon sideways. Aatrox immediately tried to swing it back around so I ducked then threw one of my swords at him. It impaled itself into his right shoulder but the Darkin didn't seem phased by it. He did not even pull it out before going for me again, this time with an upward-swipe. I flipped backwards to avoid it but definitely felt the edge of it graze my trousers in the exact spot where I never wanted anything to get that close.

Everywhere around me, summoners were being cut down but they just kept coming. I couldn't even see Akali behind all of the ones surrounding her.

I almost wanted to leave Aatrox for a bit to assist my friends but he was not inclined to allow that. Almost instantly after that near-miss I was being attacked again. Aatrox came at me with a flurry of strikes. I managed to avoid all of his attacks up until the point where he punched me in the stomach with his spare hand. It hurt like hell but I had to ignore it or I'd lose my head.

Aatrox attempted to finish me off with a double-handed smash from above but I decided to go for broke and catch it. With one hand I stopped his blade a foot from my head and with the other I embedded my other sword into him. With a great deal of effort I wrestled his blade from his grasp and threw it behind me. Well before he could react I grabbed his hands, jumped and kicked my swords into him. The hilts disappeared into his torso and I heard the blades squelch out the back. I dropped to the ground and let go of his hands as he fell to his knees, coughing up blood. Not wishing to waste time, I ripped my swords out of his back and went to help Garen who was being swarmed.

I was about to reach him when I heard something coming from behind me. When I turned Aatrox was flying and blood was being drained from all the nearby bodies. His wounds healed, his sword returned and parts of him began to glow a strange orange colour.

"Witness true power!"

He dived at me and landed a few feet away with a thud. I had to step back to avoid a small, red shockwave he created. Faster than most people could comprehend he was slicing in my direction with his sword which was a lot longer than I recalled. I dodged everything I could as there was no way I was going to block any of the attacks with my swords. Quickly I realised that Aatrox was slicing way too fast for me to continue to dodge them all. I had to break his stride.

With a bit of timing I am quite proud of I crossed my swords, bringing up my Feint shield. His weapon smashed into my shield, cracking the magical barrier slightly. He was thrown off balance slightly and I managed to get a minor slice again his chest before he attempted to sweep my feet out from under me. I jumped and avoided his foot only to have him smack me aside with his hand. I hit the ground on my back and had to roll out of the way instantly when I saw his weapon coming down towards me. He tried the same thing again so I repeated my actions. Aatrox was about to try again when he got hit by a kama. It got stuck in his arm just as Akali came diving in. She knocked Aatrox away from me and was about to do her usual thing when he grabbed her by the foot and threw her onto the ground. He was about to end her when I jumped in sliced his spare arm with both swords. They only stopped when I felt the blades hitting his bones. He growled from the pain but I didn't give him a second to channel that anger. I threw my swords into the air then grabbed his sword-arm. I kicked his elbow hard enough for it to bend the wrong way. He dropped his weapon and screamed in pain. I choke-slammed him onto the ground then got down and began punching him. I kept punching his face until he was thoroughly knocked out.

I wiped the blood from my fists on my coat and caught my swords as they dropped down. When I stood almost all of the summoners were dead. Aatrox's defeat took away their power and Zed was already cleaning up the last remnants.

Behind me, Akali was sitting on the ground. Rubbing her face where she had been thrown onto the ground. I offered her my hand and she took it. With a tug she was on her feet so, despite knowing fully well the answer, I questioned:

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Hopefully it won't bruise."

"I can imagine having to explain that it is not domestic abuse. That could be difficult."

"The only time you've abused me was when we were kids and you convinced me to spar with you multiple times. Let's not dwell on the past though. We should continue the mission."

"You go, I'm just going to need a minute."

Akali went and caught up with Zed and Garen who were installing the bomb on one of the guns. I put my swords away and looked around me. It truly had been a blood-bath.

"If there is one thing where I hope that Zoh is right, it is on the subject of spirituality. I would hate to explain this to a god."

Ahri's POV

The sun was getting low already and people were going home, tired from a long day of working and trading. Around us, the streets were getting clearer by the minute. I really did hope that the people sitting in the alleys and on the paths had somewhere to go. It was definitely going to be a cold night and I was already getting goose-bumps.

I hadn't said anything to Zoh's mother since we left the coffee shop so I decided to try to break the ice:

"How's it been going with Dis?"

"Good."

"Good, good… that's great… anything in specific that's going well?"

"I don't see why it concerns you."

"I'm just trying to start a conversation."

"If you want to start a conversation then why don't you tell me about yourself and Zoh?"

"I didn't think you'd be interested."

"Of course I'm interested, he's my son."

"Well, uh… it's been going like normal. As much as this all might look a bit weird, it's only slightly out of the ordinary for us. That mountain thing was a bit of a hiccup though."

"I asked about you and Zoh, not you, Zoh, Akali, Shen and Zed."

"If you really must know, we have had to set aside our personal stuff quite a lot recently. With everything that's happened, me and him have only done one romantic thing recently. Normally it would be hard for our friends to get a chance to talk to us with all the sex and stupid romantic gestures we used to do."

"What would you do if you didn't have to worry about fighting? What if it was all just gone and the only person you had to worry about was my son?"

"I'd pretty quickly get down to the dirty stuff. That would go on for a few days, only stopping to eat and occasionally sleep. After I'm satisfied I would just let Zoh do what he does normally while I tag along. We could visit new planets and talk."

"So sex, science and talking?"

"Yeah."

"You don't have any plans at all?"

"Not really."

"What if you get bored?"

"Why would I get bored? Space is pretty cool and Zoh might eventually get good at explaining things."

"I'll be perfectly honest here: I'm worried. For the longest time I thought you were just a fling that would leave as quickly as you entered. You're not really helping me discard such thoughts."

"I'm not sure if it's going to work in the end either, but I am willing to try. You're not going to catch me saying something stupid like 'our love is as pure as a daisy!' but we get on very well and he's the first person to have looked past my physical appearance and the first to have realised that I'm more than just a lusty fox-woman. That's good enough for me."

We got to the end of the road that opened into a small park. Zoh's mother stopped and put her hand on my shoulder while sighing. I feared what was coming until she spoke softly:

"I started today really wanting to dislike you. We've met before but I never felt like I really knew the real you until now. Everything I've found out about you up until now suggested that you were just another vapid celebrity who doesn't care about anyone but themselves. Now I realise you're a lot like me when I was younger except with a much better taste in guys."

"You know, I probably am vapid but for the life of me I have no idea what it means."

"So I guess Zoh is the brains of your relationship."

"And the brawn. I'm in charge though, so it works fine."

She removed her hand from my shoulder then rubbed her chin contemplatively.

"Do you have at least a tiny amount of common sense?"

"I'd like to think so."

"Well then, you've got that up on him. Did Zoh ever tell you about the time when he tried to put out a fire by bombarding it from orbit?"

"No."

"I'm not surprised. It was a little pan fire and we had a fire extinguisher in the kitchen at that time."

"So… why the orbital bombardment?"

"I don't even think he knows why he did it."

"Hm… is there anything else Zoh wouldn't tell me like that? The more embarrassing it is, the more useful it is for me."

"Well, when he was nine we were at the swimming pool in the T'kao district (that was the nicest one in the capital). But anyway, so we were in the medium pool and Zoh decides that he's going to jump on his dads' back. Unfortunately for poor little Zoh, his dad wasn't in that pool. Even more unfortunately, he thought his dad was. So he went up to this guy who had his back turned and jumped on his back while shouting 'dad!'."

"What happened next?"

"About five minutes of him apologising and trying to think up excuses. If you need to know how well that went, he was as good at bullshitting then as he is now."

"Oh god. That's just… too perfect. I'm going to remind him of it until he gets a mental scar."

"I've been doing that for years."

"Has it worked?"

Zoh's mother replied with an over-exaggerated, slow nod.

"Nice."

Zoh's POV

After only ten minutes at the ice rink, I was already starting to get annoyed at getting lapped so many times. While I fumbled around trying to simply stand up for longer than five seconds, Megan was gliding around like she had been ice skating since the moment she worked out what her legs were.

The rink was almost completely empty save for me, Megan and an employee who was cleaning the glass that separated the rink from the viewing area. That made it all the more irritating when she flew past me once again. I decided there that I had dealt with quite enough so I fished in my pockets and pulled out four tiny rockets. With the assistance of the ever-helpful duct-tape I attached the rockets to my skates. After doing some wiring and pressing some buttons I turned them on. After some wind-up I started boosting forward quite quickly. Very soon I needed to turn or hit the glass but when I tried to avoid it I tipped onto my side, ending up with my hands sliding along the glass as the one skate that was touching the floor boosted me along. The rockets continued to accelerate as I slid around the edge of the ice-rink, shouting "shit, shit shit, shit…" rapidly all the way.

I saw that Megan had stopped and was staring at me with a confused look.

"Stop moving Zoh!"

"I can't!"

"Just turn off your shoes!"

With great effort on my behalf I removed one hand from the glass and reached down to my right skate. I yanked the wires from between the rockets and immediately it sped up to incredible speeds. I was flung away from the glass and soon after found that I was spinning on the spot in the middle of the rink. The world span around me way too fast for me to get even a glimpse of my surroundings. It was all just a blur and all I could think to do was continue shouting profanities until the rockets ran out of fuel.

Seconds later the rockets fizzled out but I kept spinning. The ice barely helped to slow me at all and I was starting to feel ill. Very suddenly I came to an absolute halt, but I could not see what had stopped me or where I was. My vision was still wavy but I could tell that something was not quite right.

It took some time but eventually my eyes returned to normal and I noticed that my spinning had drilled me into the ice. I was about two feet deep into the ice and I could see the employee shaking his head.

"That's not my job or my problem." He stated before going back to cleaning the glass.

I shrugged while mumbling "Fair enough." With that, I tried my best to push myself up. A small hand dropped down in front of me, so I stared up to find its owner trying to look like she hadn't been laughing. I took her hand then pushed myself up, careful to put enough weight on her hand to make it feel like she was helping. Once I was up I let go of her hand while stepping out of the hole I had created. Megan reached into her coat pocket and pulled out a pink, plastic water-bottle. She unscrewed the cap and poured it into the hole before staring at me expectantly.

"It's not going to fill itself up."

"I don't have any water with me though."

"But you're supposed to be smart."

"Not to toot my own horn, but I am and I don't take water around everywhere with me."

"What do you drink then?"

"I don't bother most of the time. People just kinda assume I drink in the time we skip to keep these chapters the right length."

"What do you do with that time?"

"Tons of cocaine."

Megan was initially surprised then quickly started glaring at me.

"I'm kidding. You don't look this good if you do drugs. But anyway, someone come bandage the fourth wall while I show Megan here the drink that I have with me." I declared while getting into my armour. Once it was fully materialised I pulled a metal bottle from my belt. With a twist of my hand, it was open so I poured it into the hole. A green, viscus liquid dribbled out of the bottle and into the pool of water at the bottom of the hole. It fizzled on contact with the water and began to make popping sounds.

"Hmm…. That used to be lemonade." I stated while pointing at the hole with one hand scratching my head with the other.

"I had lemonade with my lunch." Megan added while staring up at me with a big smile.

"That's nice Megan but how about we focus on the goo for now?" I queried, getting a shrug in response.

"Is that a yes or a-" I began before getting cut off by a blood-curdling scream. I looked for its source while covering my ears to find that it was coming from the sizzling goo.

"Oh for fu…n's sake. Do you know swears yet?" I questioned Megan while attempting to think up a solution for the suddenly-sentient goo.

"Who is he?"

"Alright good. Now let us move on to the more pressing subject of the living goo that is currently screaming at us."

"Mum said you should always put wild animals you find back in the forest."

"I'm not sure I'm willing to put that thing in a forest. So tell me, what is the back-up plan for all circumstances?"

"Hugs?"

"No. A super death laser of course."

"Why the 'super'?" Megan asked while staring at me quizzically.

"A normal laser doesn't have a toaster in it."

My sister looked me in the eye with a serious face.

"I'm kidding. I know lasers are totally the coolest thing for people your age. In reality, the super laser combines multiple beams and focuses them at a single point for tons of damage. Also dark matter is involved somewhere but I have no clue why or how it is involved. I just know it is."

She stared intently at me for a few seconds in utter silence before pointing out:

"You ramble a lot."

"I know but I have a lot of weapons and I'm ever-so-slightly mad so no-one challenges me on it." I replied while pressing a button on my suit. After a few moments my axe had disappeared from my waist and a huge rocket-launcher-looking thing appeared on my shoulder. I took hold of it and pointed it at the goo. Before I shot it I took a moment to look at Megan and warn her:

"Move about five metres backward and you'll have a much better time."

She stepped backwards and, when I was sure she was far enough away, my attention went back to the goo and I fired. It was instantly erased from existence and, after a moment, I realised everything behind it was gone too. In fact, the laser had created an almost perfectly cylindrical hole in the ground that went down further than I could see. Realising my mistake I turned around and stared at the ice-rink employee.

"You would be amazed how often that has happened since I got this job."

"I'm sure I would. So, since you have experience, how do we deal with this?"

"I'll get Derek on it in the morning. If you could just leave for now so I can clean the glass in peace I would appreciate it."

"Whatever you say. Come one Megan, we can go find Ahri and mum."

"Yaay! I like Ahri, she has fluffy tails and I like fluff." Megan cheered while skating over to the exit. I got rid of the super-laser then followed her.

Akali's POV

From our observation point high up a mountain in the valley we prepared to detonate the explosives and end a threat before it began. Unfortunately, the detonator was created the man who didn't know the meaning of the word 'simplicity': Zoh. Shen was fiddling with the device while the rest of us sat around in the snow. It had been a minute already and Zed was very clearly getting frustrated by the wait:

"Is it really so hard for the Eye of Twilight to press a button?"

"This is not nearly as easy as your portray it." Shen retorted before turning the device so we could all see the side he had been fiddling with. It was a mess of buttons that was very poorly labelled and had lights and exposed wires all over the place.

"As you can see, this button is 'Start', this one is 'Initiate', this one is 'On/Off', this one is 'Ignite' and you get the idea."

I couldn't make any sense of the device and, from the silence, I guessed no-one else could either. It was a few seconds later when Shen disappeared then reappeared with Ziggs. Shen handed the device to the Yordle who inspected it then immediately figured it out:

"This is easy! Press this to turn the detonator on, this ignites the det-cord, this starts the countdown and this initiates the blast-" He laughed as the factory was broken into a billion pieces by a flameless explosion.

"Oh, that's disappointing." Ziggs sighed just before an absurdly large, fiery explosion obliterated the remains of the factory. A ball of flame rose into the sky as smoke billowed from the ground. The snow for miles around had melted, revealing the charred grass below. The Yordle watched on as the flame burned a hole in the clouds that covered the sky. When it was out of sight he burst into a mix of laughter and cheering.

"That never gets old!" He declared, being teleported away by Shen when it became clear that he would be cheering for a while.

Shen returned as the rest of us got ready to go find Ahri and Zoh. Just as we were about to get out of there, the distinct sound of someone shouting obscenities and getting closer to us reached my ears. I turned to the source and noticed that something was flying through the air towards us from the direction of the factory. As it got closer I realised it was Aatrox.

Seconds later he crashed into the snowy mountainside below us, a small pillar of smoke extending to the sky from his body. He weakly pulled his face from the ground and looked at us.

"You have won this bout."


Late as heck. Sorry.

On the bright side, it's here now. Although if you're reading this chances are you've just finished the chapter and have to wait for the next one. Sorry about that. I am not very good at putting stuff out on time.

I'll stop babbling so you can all get on with other things now. I sincerely hope you have all enjoyed this chapter and I also hope you will all enjoy the time you have between this chapter and the next one.

Bye.