Hello all and welcome back to a whole new chapter of nonsense. This one might end up being important or not, it really depends on how much time I dedicate to unimportant side-story things. Which will probably be a lot because I'm in that sort of mood right now.
As usual I have very little to say here so let's get on with the terrible JOKE OF THE CHAPTER: Why is Yasuo the best roommate? Because he always HASAKI.
Feels like for a lot of people it will take a few minutes for that to make sense then they'll laugh awkwardly. I only say that because when I saw it that's what happened.
With that done I really don't know what to say so let's just get on with it.
Chapter 44: Balloon Buffoons
The weakest of breezes was enough to make me decide I didn't want to stay in that room any longer. Even under the covers of the bed with Zoh beneath me and a fire burning happily on the other side of the room I felt a shiver run down my spine. The badly crafted window frames let in a cold wind any time that there was a gust outside.
Zoh rubbed my back with his hands to warm me up but it didn't help much.
"I'm ready to go if you are." I whispered.
"Do you mean go as in 'go' or leave?"
"I would love to go again but I need a while to recover." I replied in a seductive tone, hoping to boost his confidence as much as I could.
"That's helpful because I am utterly shattered. You've once again proven yourself to be one of the only things that can tire me out this badly."
"Because no-one else knows how to get you to do so much… physical exercise in a way that you can't fix with technology."
"I could try…" He began before staring down my body and continuing "… but I'd much rather deal with this by myself."
Zoh gave me a kiss on the lips while squeezing my butt with his hands. I yelped against his lips at the unexpected but welcome groping. It took a second for me to build up the will to pull away from Zoh's face.
"How am I supposed to get out of bed if you do stuff like that?"
Zoh flashed me a cheeky grin just as a gust of wind blew over us and under the covers, making its way right down to my feet. That was enough to make all my bones want to escape my body and run to Shurima for a bit of warmth but I preferred to keep them so I got out of bed and pulled on my clothes. My favourite inventor sat up in bed staring at me with a dejected look upon his face. From his apparent mood, I expected him to whimper out something about being cold.
Instead, he exclaimed:
"This is exactly the kind of thing that makes me regret becoming a terrorist with you!"
The shouting brought out a look of determination upon his face that made me fully expect an epic speech to come bellowing out of his mouth.
"I swear upon whatever the hell we swear upon around here: I will win this war! For the properly sealed windows!"
"And the non-creaking beds."
"That too!"
"And the people who have died so far."
He suddenly appeared far less over-the-top in his posture and expression as if someone had splashed him with a bucket of 'calm-the-fuck-down'.
"Well yeah but that's like, the big, obvious one. It's not really… needing a mention…"
His face distorted into one of deep thought and his hand began scratching his chin. There was a flash of movement which ended with his hand turned to point at me and an overly-cheerful expression upon his face. Zoh was on the edge of saying something that he considered smart but I put my finger to my lips. He silenced instantly. Frozen in place. Waiting for what I had to say.
"Zoh, you know full well that I really enjoy these conversations of ours. I really do. However, on this occasion can you please shout whatever you're going to shout when you are not naked and we're heading up the hallway?"
He considered it for a moment but I added a bit to the end:
"I don't know why I phrased that as if you had a choice in the matter."
Zoh shrugged:
"Fair enough."
Later in the day (16:25):
There was a certain sense of child-like awe that permeated everything from the smallest of pebbles to the largest of warships in the sky-docks of Noxus. Even though we were walking into a compound of people who despised my very existence and had all the tools at their disposal to end it, I could not help but marvel at the makeshift blimps that were haphazardly docked nearby. Despite all logic, the nature of the machines of war had me beyond intrigued. Unlike everything Piltover and Demacia created, they had the appearance of being created with just enough skill and just enough luck to fly. Anything less and they would fall from the sky like bricks strapped to anvils with a child's balloon taped to the top.
That made me want one more than anything.
I almost thought that stealing one might be a good idea when Zoh noticed what had so deeply taken my attention.
"I hope you're thinking about what I'm thinking about."
My head flung around to look at him, throwing my hair around to hit a dock worker in the face. I heard a growling coming from behind me so I hurried my pace a bit while nodding frantically at Zoh. There was a smile of confirmation from Zoh as we both turned our attentions ahead of us. My hope was that he had a better plan than mine, though all along I knew that was probably not the case.
If we did go with my plan, it would not be anything that could even resemble the concept of 'easy'. The sky-docks were locked down tighter than a nun's underwear. There was not a single centimetre of ground that was not in view of a worker or soldier.
The docks themselves were built over nothing. Everything below was open air for hundreds of metres. In fact, the only thing keeping the whole place from plummeting into the rocks were the enormous metal beams that anchored the centre of the dock platform in the side of the mountain. Each beam was as thick as Alistar was tall and made from the same metal used in Riven's sword. All in all, four of the beams kept us all aloft. It didn't really feel like it was enough, as the docks themselves were a mile in each direction and square. The ground we stood on was made of solid steel enhanced by magic as were the buildings that dominated the surface. From what I could see from the entrance, the largest building was a warehouse that could have put the League building to shame and the smallest was a two-storey communication hub. The entire place was a hive of activity. Birds flew around without a care to give for the near-constant fuck-ups happening below. We were walking by a group of engineers when the pipe they were attempting to repair blew, spewing copious amounts of green gas into the air.
It was a real sight to see. The docks went on and on for as far as I could see and then further but every metre was occupied by something or someone. It sounded exactly as busy as it looked. The shouting was pretty much constant and accompanied, most of the time, by the clanging and tearing of hard labour. It did all stop for a few moments when something particularly large went wrong, but for the most part the noise was continuous. Very much like the smell which was a terrible mix of oil and rotting animals. Considering what kind of people were hanging around and what kind of city we were in, I didn't particularly want to find out why that smell was so pungent.
However, nothing on the surface could hold a century-old, burnt out candle to the monstrosities of Noxian science that floated around the docks. Each zeppelin had a balloon the size of an English football pitch and an undersection that ranged from single-man operations to carriages made to carry half of an army. The strangest thing about the airships was that they had four giant, metallic wings attached to the balloon. The wings were as long as the balloons themselves and all situated around the centre of the airship. Instead of being one on top of another, the wings on either side were one behind the other. What made them even more interesting was that their propulsion all came from rockets akin to what Zoh used when he wanted to make something go really fast and make a really big explosion.
Lady Luck smiled on me as one of the zeppelins powered up and prepared to launch. With a blast it took off into the sky, seemingly oblivious to just how silly it looked. Instead of just firing their engines constantly, the Noxians had decided that the best method was to angle their ships as vertically as they could before firing the engines to full for a few seconds. Once the captain decided they had gone up far enough they would deactivate the engines and angle the ship slightly below horizontal and glide to their destination.
As it floated away between some mountains I felt a tugging on my sleeve. When I turned to the source I found it was Zoh who appeared particularly joyous at that moment. I put my hand on his shoulder and stared him right in the eye.
"We are going to break one of those things in every way possible. And you're paying for it."
"What? Nah, I'm the one who has had to pay for everything else so far."
"I'm willing to bet that you still have more money than me."
"We got payed exactly the same amount of money back in League and I've been the one paying for all sorts of shit."
"But you still have way too much."
"Well, yeah, but that's not the point. You have way, way too much so you can pay for the big airship thing."
"How about we both pay half?"
"So you still end up with way more than me?"
"That is correct but really, it's a shared amount of money."
"Nope. If I agree to that you'll buy a planet or something."
"That's not such a bad idea. I can be an empress and you can be my jester."
"I've never heard a worse idea. The only jokes I know are references you wouldn't understand."
"Exactly why you would be the first person under the guillotine in my empire."
"Nice. That's a good thing to tell someone. I always love a bit of warning before someone removes my head." He concluded before going in the direction of a decidedly low-key building. It was one storey with a flat roof, one door and long, thin windows along the tops of the walls. On the roof was an assortment of communication dishes and generators. All of it was made of thick layers of solid steel.
Zoh went inside without even acknowledging the guards standing either side of the door. They didn't seem to mind so I followed in his tracks and it seemed to be going well until I reached for the metal door. Suddenly, there was a soldier blocking my way.
"Am I really going to have to do this again? Because I still haven't told Zoh about the first time and the last thing I need is him getting mad because I killed some twat for standing in front of the door."
The Noxian soldier stared down at me.
"No entry."
"Zoh went through literally seconds ago."
"No entry."
"I can't be bothered to deal with your shit." I sighed before back-handing the guard in the face. He fell to the ground and didn't get back up as I kneed the other guard in the balls. Neither even attempted to get up as they writhed on the floor in pain.
Feeling quite satisfied with myself, I turned the door handle and strode into the building. The inside was completely bare, save for a trap-door in the centre of the room. Four guards occupied the room, standing on each corner.
I didn't even get to take more than five steps before they all began moving towards me. One of them pointed and laughed:
"Look at this silly bitch? She thinks she can be in serious places!"
Another added, in a baby voice:
"Aww, are you lost? Do you want us to go find your man for you?"
I was one more insult away from killing them all so I decided, for their sake, to cut them off before they could continue the idiocy:
"I'm going to give you five seconds to run back to your corners of the room. That way, you can continue on with your boring lives and I can continue with my day. How does that sound?"
"Those are fighting words boys. I guess we'll just have to take her away kicking and screaming."
At that point they were arms-length away and drawing their weapons. It wasn't going to be particularly difficult to end them all so I took a moment to get an idea of weak points to take advantage of. They were all in the standard Noxian battle armour with a sword and spear each. The armour consisted of green robes with gold trimmings and plates. The chest was covered by two diamond-shaped pieces of armour, one being slightly smaller and fitted on top of the other. Both shoulders were protected by pointed and stylised plates of gold and they were connected around the back by a strip of gold plate. Normally, Noxian military personnel wore magic-infused helmets which shrouded their faces in darkness which was only allowed vision of a set of four red, glowing eyes; however these soldiers were not using them. This robbed them of the one bit of fear-factor they could have had.
It only took me a second to take in all the intricate details of their armour and its blatant weaknesses. The only protection it gave them was from basic, handheld weapons that you would expect their main enemies, Demacians, to wield. Their robes hindered their range of leg movement and their weapons were too large to swing freely inside. Just as they were about to grab me I jumped above their heads and kicked two in their faces. That dazed them for a moment as I dropped to the ground. I landed on one knee then immediately stuck my leg out and span, knocking them all over. As they fell onto the ground I stood up and set them all alight with spirit fire. It spread exactly as slowly as I wanted it to and didn't even flicker as they all frantically attempted to put it out.
I felt a twang of guilt as I heard them screaming, forcing me to show mercy and put the flames out with a flick of my wrist.
"I'm going to consider the silence an apology." I sighed while opening the hatch in the floor and jumping down. I fell a few metres before hitting the ground, rolling then hopping up to my feet. In front of me there was a very thin, unremarkable hallway. As I strolled down it I couldn't shake the sense of claustrophobia. My fox ears grazed the ceiling and my tails rubbed against the walls.
I didn't let it break my stride. The last thing I wanted was to look weak in any way as I entered the room at the other end of the hall. It was some sort of air control centre. The walls and floor were made entirely of glass and a couple dozen people were lounging about at desks, staring at flight instruments with nothing but boredom in their eyes. A few of them were lucky enough to have radar stations but most only had a phone and telescope. The tables were organised in rows and columns and all manned by Noxian citizens who wore a uniform I had not seen before and never expected to see in a city like Noxus. They had white shirts with rank slides on their shoulders and black trousers. A few wore Service Hats but for most it was far too warm in the room for that. Some fans were spread around the room, cooling it a bit but doing nothing to dispel the muggy aspect of the air that already had a bit of dew trailing down my tails.
"Ugh" A mumbled while wiping my tails off on one of the walls and peeking around one of the table blocking my view. In the centre of the wall to my left was a table loaded with water, biscuits and fans that were pointed down towards the other contents. Seeing as Zoh was on the opposite end of the room, speaking to someone behind a desk who appeared to be in charge, I decided that the refreshments could wait. As I made my way over to Zoh I barely got a single stare and the one guy that did had no anger in his face. He did appear rather impressed and lustful but that disappeared when I shot a smile at him. The guy was staring down at his flight instruments with his face in his hands in the blink of an eye.
I giggled under my breath as I took my place next to Zoh, just in time to hear the person he was speaking to explain:
"-but we haven't heard from him since his airship went beyond comm range. We did receive reports of an airship struggling to keep altitude in the nearby mountains, but that's both off his course and the reports detailed a regular airship. Not a Noxian one."
"It is possible that high winds or an over-confident pilot attempting to impress the Grand Admiral would push the airship towards the mountains and, as I see it, a loss of the Noxian wings would make be enough to convince the casual onlooker that it is not from here. Which would also explain the failure to maintain altitude."
"I'm sure it's fine. Lieutenant Piette! Get over here!"
One of the men rushed from his desk and was stood at attention on the side of the table in moments.
"Yes Captain?"
"Who was captaining the Grand Admiral's airship?"
"Sub Lieutenant Maximaz, Captain."
The Captain's face dropped and his eyes went wide in horror.
"Dispatch every search team this side of the Negtulon Ruptures to the last known location of the crashing airship! Send every airship, supply caravan and guardian patrol you can get hold of! I want that ship found and I want it done before I can finish my drink!" He ordered immediately before knocking his glass off the desk. The Lieutenant sprinted back to his desk and was instantly on his phone.
In front of me, the Captain stood up and stared at the rest of the people in the room who were looking right back, wondering what all the commotion was about probably.
"You heard the shouting! I want to see every single one of you contacting people immediately! I don't care if you have to let an airship crash into the side of this mountain from lack of direction, just get on with it before we all lose our heads!"
The room became alive with frantic movement and people shouting down their phones. As the Captain didn't appear to have anything urgent to do at that point, I decided to get a catch-up.
"Captain, if you don't mind me asking, what's so wrong with this 'Maximaz' guy?"
"He's probably the worst pilot we have. His technical skills are awful, hand-eye-coordination is non-existent and the worst part is, he thinks he is the best. The man has been gunning for my job unsuccessfully for years now. Amazing the Grand Admiral with a display of skill would help with that and the mountains provide a perfect obstacle to overcome in awe-inspiring fashion-" He was cut off by one of the other Lieutenants running up to the desk.
"Captain! The fleet cannot respond! We only have one ship docked and the rest are at bottom-slope. None have enough power for a launch and turn!"
"What about the ship still hooked in?"
"There's no-one around to fly it! We haven't trained enough crew yet!"
"Go find a different quick-response unit and use that! And find me a damn pilot!"
Zoh cleared his throat quite loudly.
"You can fly a Noxian airship?"
"I can fly pretty much everything else and I'm a fast learner so I'm probably your best shot here."
"… Alright, fine. That's good enough. Now go and try to calm the Grand Admiral before you bring him back."
"I'll try my best." Zoh concluded while saluting and jogging away. I did my best curtsey before jogging to catch up to my dude. When I caught him we went up the ladder one behind the other and then outside. The docks were considerably emptier as most of the soldiers had gone, presumably to look for the Grand Admiral. This meant that we could run across the docks without having to push past anyone.
It only took a few seconds to get to the last airship in the dock. We ran up the gangplank and into the small undercarriage where Zoh found the steering wheel and other controls in an instant. I closed the door as he familiarised himself. We were in a cabin only a few metres in each direction with windows on the sides and all the piloting equipment at the front, which consisted of a large wheel like you would expect to find on an old-fashioned ship, some levers and some things dangling from the ceiling. We also had a healthy amount of cannons but I didn't expect us to be using those any time soon.
"Are you sure you know how to fly this?"
"I'm normally fifty/fifty with this sort of thing but I'm not exactly having the best of weeks so it's probably more of a ten/ninety."
"Those aren't good odds."
"Yeah but all the excitement is almost making me forget about the soul-crushing sadness that is lingering inside of me!" Zoh declared before kicking a lever. The whole airship rocked as the chains holding it against the docks were released and the ship lurched upwards. I grabbed hold of one of the cannons as the airship came to a standstill with us pointing straight up.
"Is this how it's supposed to work?!" I yelled while trying to pull myself up to get a better grasp of the cannon.
"Pretty much, yeah! Cool isn't it?!" Zoh replied before pulling another level. We didn't move for a few seconds and all that lever seemed to do was make a low rumbling noise appear. It dawned on me what that noise was being made by when we began going up very quickly as the sound grew to almost deafening levels. A few seconds went by with us gaining altitude rapidly until Zoh pulled one of the dangly things. The sounds of rocket power died away as the airship levelled itself off incredibly quickly. The speed was enough to fling me off the cannon and into the ceiling. I landed on my side then rolled onto my back with a pained groan.
"That was considerably more painful than I expected."
I sat up and looked at Zoh who was staring in my direction with a smile on his face.
"You didn't wear your seatbelt." He explained while stepping over to, what looked like, a panel on the wall. He pulled the top of it down and I realised that it was actually a seat with a seatbelt attached. The same panels lined the walls all around so there was plenty to choose from.
"I didn't realise those were seats I thought they were just… panels. Like, for aesthetics."
"Fair enough. Maybe I should have explained it to you but that was fun anyway, right?"
"… Yeah, it kinda was up till the end there. Now get back to driving this thing. I don't want to die in an airship crash after everything I've been through."
"That would be awful anticlimactic." He admitted while stepping back to the controls. The realisation came to him at the same time as it came to me that there was no way of seeing anything that was not at the same altitude as us.
"Whoever designed the windows on this airship was a damn fool." Zoh concluded before pulling a bunch of the controls in random directions. A whole load of unhealthy noises came from the engines before the entire airship spun onto its side. I fell onto the wall that had become the floor but managed to stay on my feet. We somehow didn't begin plummeting to the floor or spinning out of control. Instead, we just floated along quite happily on our side.
"I found the right thing!" Zoh shouted as he hung onto the steering wheel with one hand and pulled a lever with another. The airship rumbled as the floor disappeared and I screamed. I closed my eyes and waited for a few seconds before realising I hadn't fallen. The floor and walls were gone but I was still standing on something.
"Since when did the Noxians create invisibility?"
Zoh shrugged then turned the steering wheel slowly until we were the correct way up again. I stared down and nearly passed out when I saw how damn high we were. I stared at Noxus and realised that even with my above-average vision I could barely make out where one house ended and another began. The entire city looked to be infested with specks that made ants seem like Wrending Titans by comparison. It would have made me reflect on my significance to the universe if I wasn't slowly coming to the realisation that heights that extreme were not my cup of tea.
From that height, even the mountains we were aiming for seemed insignificant. I did, however, notice a plume of smoke coming from in-between two otherwise unremarkable mountains. It was pretty much directly below us so I had no idea how we would possibly get there without a lengthy descent.
As I was wondering how to do it best, Zoh followed my gaze down to the plume.
"Good spot." He congratulated before turning the airship directly down. I found myself falling, again, through the interior of the airship until I landed on Zoh's back.
"Can you give me some warning for fucks sake?" I yelled while smacking him on the head.
"That would remove half the fun!" He exclaimed before pushing two levers as far forward as they would go. The rockets started up again and we were blasting towards the ground at insane speeds in no time at all. The exact details of the mountain range became clear as day and their jagged edges seemed poised to take another two souls when Zoh began turning the wheel.
"Hold onto something!" He shouted but the command had barely even registered in my mind by the time the zeppelin was pointed directly up once again. I fell from Zoh's back onto the back of the cabin. For once, my tails were in the way to cushion the fall, but that didn't do anything to console the irreconcilable sense of dread in my chest as we came within metres of smashing into the top of a mountain. Incomprehensibly, Zoh had managed to bring us to a complete standstill.
"Zoh what the fuck did you just do?!"
"Hey I gave you warning that time!"
"Not that! How did we stop?!"
"By the power of rockets!" He declared before turning the wheel and some levers until we were level again, still mere metres from the spikey death-trap that was the tip of the mountain.
As I stood up I got a view of where the smoke had been coming from. An airship had crashed at the very bottom of two mountains and spread a huge amount of fire over the surrounding area. We were close enough that I managed to make out the figure of someone surrounded by flames. They were standing on a bit of wreckage that was being consumed by flame slowly. I guessed that they had about a minute left.
"Zoh, someone survived that crash! We have to save them!"
"I agree. So, how about you just open up every panel in this thing?" He questioned while steering us carefully down to the crash site.
"How will that help?"
"I don't know. But there's a chance it will so open them all please."
Shrugging, I opened every panel I could see. Most of them were sheets but a few were storage compartments. One of them near the door caught my eye as it had a harness attached to a huge length of rope and a powered winch inside. It looked like the perfect thing for saving someone from a number of situations. The current one included.
"You'd better not mess around with this thing while I'm down there." I stated while strapping the harness on.
"Yeah, yeah. I'll keep it steady." Zoh assured as we got into position just above the stranded person.
I kicked the door open and jumped out. A short fall later and the rope was taut and I was surrounded by smoke. I could barely see a thing through the dense layers of grey but I could very clearly hear a man politely requesting assistance. It was only coming from a few metres away so I swung the rope in its direction. Eventually I swung far enough to see the man we were saving. I only got a glimpse of him before I went back in the opposite direction. The next swing had enough power behind it for me to slam into the man, grabbing him by the arm as I went. We were swinging close enough to the flames to feel it tickling our feet so I shouted for Zoh:
"Pull us up!"
The airship lurched right until we were safely away from the burning wreckage. As Zoh winched us in I looked at Ryker. He was wearing the same clothes as the people in the command centre but with more tabs and lanyards. The man himself had short, brown hair that was swept up and to the right. He had dark black skin, blue eyes, a flat nose, slightly thin eyebrows and very clearly defined features. I couldn't see much but it felt safe to say he had a decent level of muscle, being in the military after all.
"Did anyone else survive the crash?"
"I am unsure. The crew and my guard simply abandoned the ship to its fate at the first sign of issues. Truly, I do not have any ideas as to their fate. However, I would like to thank you for altering mine." He spoke with a soft, deep voice which carried an accent more alike to a Demacian than a Noxian.
"It's no problem. Although I'm going to have to ask you to order more obvious seats on these airships. It is very confusing."
"That is the least that I can do for this kindness." He declared as I stepped into the airship, hauling him up behind me shortly afterward. The moment he was inside his eyes went wide.
"What did you pull?" Ryker questioned Zoh whose face was becoming more concerned by the second.
"Uhh, like, everything… I wasn't supposed to do that, was I?"
"Depends on what you consider to be a bad thing. If, for example, you believe that crashing into the ground with a large amount of highly explosive, highly sensitive cannon rounds is a bad situation then yes, you have done a very terrible thing."
"… I'll work something out." Zoh concluded while rushing to the controls.
"That may convince your charming friend here, but it shall have no such affect upon me. Stand aside." Ryker commanded. Zoh clearly didn't feel confident in his flying abilities as he stepped away from the controls readily.
"Would every please take a seat. It has been a while since I have had to captain one of these myself."
"Were you any good?" I asked while taking up a seat next to Zoh, near the door.
"You don't get to be the Grand Admiral of the Noxian military if you can't fly our newest and most useful creations."
"I thought Admiral was a Navy thing."
"It is my dear. Right now, these are simply the newest addition to the fleet." He replied while aiming the airship up. The floor reappeared as we began blasting up into the open skies.
"You realise this isn't an ocean-based vehicle, right?" Zoh questioned as we left the mountain range behind. I could barely hear him above the sound of the rockets.
"I do. However, it is rather difficult to put together a whole new branch of the military when you only have one vehicle that necessitates it. The whole thing is progressing slowly but I am certain that we will get there in a matter of years. If you would like to help, we're currently working on a name for it. Any suggestion you have must be better than the current frontrunner: 'Sky Fighter Corps'." He replied as the engines cut out and we levelled off.
"How about 'Air Force'?"
"That sounds like a child's comic book."
Zoh looked rather disgruntled while mumbling:
"Works for everyone else but 'nooo we're Noxus we can't have the normal name that makes sense muhhh'."
I glared at Zoh for a second before my attention was taken by an awful smell hitting my nose. The second I realised what it was my body tensed in fear and I grabbed Zoh's leg and gripped it tight.
"Do you guys smell that?"
"What?" Zoh wondered.
"Fire."
"Well we were just surrounded by fire a few minutes ago-"
"No. This isn't smoke or ashes. This is definitely fire." I stated as the sound of flames crackling hit my ears.
I unbuckled my seatbelt and searched out the window. There was nothing below us on the ship but when my attention turned to the balloon above us I noticed the problem. It was very rapidly being disintegrated.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit."
Zoh got out of his chair and looked up as well.
"That can't be a good thing."
Ryker joined us by the window and he too stared up.
"That is indeed, not a good thing. Quite the opposite, really."
We stood there doing nothing for a few seconds as the balloon continued to disappear before our eyes.
"Zoh if you want to get us out of here any time soon that would really be appreciated."
"Uh, yeah, I was going to mention that, I sort of… can't. Pretty much everything I have is broken."
"Well what the hell do we do then?"
He thought for a second before shaking his head and looking at the floor. Somehow, there was a smile on his face.
"What is it?"
"I just had the worst idea of my fucking life but I really want to try it."
"Anything is better than certain death so whatever it is we'll try it."
"You say that, but you haven't heard the plan yet. The core principle here is: we have to get back to Noxus with at least most of us intact. As our current propulsion method is very much on fire I propose a new one. Namely, explosives."
"You're saying we should explode ourselves back to Noxus?"
"Yes."
"Well you were right about at least one thing. That is your worst idea yet."
Ryker joined in on the side of Zoh:
"While I do have reservations about the plan, it is my belief that it is currently our best and only option."
I stared between them quizzically then sighed.
"I guess I'd rather die by a cool looking explosion than by going splat on the ground. Just do it."
"Woo!" Zoh exclaimed before stepping away from the window and activating one of his suits of armour. It had two large scratch-marks down the sides but other than that it was par for the course. He grabbed the only two things left on the utility belt: a detonator and a rectangular block of plastic explosives. I began to reconsider my decision as he smashed the window at the front of the airship with a punch.
"Now I've just got to time this perfectly…" He muttered before waiting there for a few seconds. The moments felt like hours until, eventually, he threw the explosives and detonated them while diving back. We were immediately blasted off our feet as the carriage we were in was ripped away from the burning balloon. The noise of the blast deafened me for a few seconds as we span through the air. I got a brief glimpse of the window and saw we were rotating and flying towards Noxus at incredible speeds. I was grasping onto the same cannon as the Grand Admiral while Zoh stood on the other end of the airship, laughing maniacally. At that point I was pretty damn sure he had lost his mind, until there was a shake in the airship that made him stumble a bit. It stopped his laughing and he hunkered down.
"Sorry! Just had a bit of an evil genius moment there!" He shouted as we approached Noxus. A few seconds later we crashed into something that stopped the gondola in its tracks. We were all thrown through the craft. Zoh smashed through the wall without an issue, clearing the way for I and Ryker to follow behind him. We all came to the stop in the middle of a large, circular room. I noticed that huge bricks, glass and chunks of metal were all over the floor as I came to my senses. A glance around the room showed that everything was related to weapons in some way. I already knew where I was when one of the doors burst open to reveal Garen and Katarina. Both were in nothing but their underwear but they had their weapons with them and at the ready. They were also quite sweaty but I didn't dwell on why that was for too long.
"What the fuck have you done to my house!?" Kata shouted her question while staring at the debris.
"Ahh, Katarina. It is so good to see you." Ryker smiled while standing up and putting his arms out.
"Jeremy? What the fuck is going on?"
"We had a bit of a… incident. I'd rather not tell you of it right now as it seems you are preoccupied with Mr. Crownguard."
Katarina's eyes went wide and her cheeks reddened.
"Right, yeah. No clothes. Forgot about that. You're not… mad or anything? I'm not going to be pegged as a traitor or anything like that?"
"Of course not, we're in a time of peace! This kind of love is what will make that endure."
Garen scratched his head while putting his sword down.
"Thanks man. I don't think I could make it out of the city if you called the guards on me."
"Do not worry about that. Within the hour everyone in the city will know that you are to be allowed free movement wherever you please, within reason."
"Wow, thanks again. I promise I won't take advantage of this."
"There was never a doubt in my mind that you would use this freedom with honour. Now get back to what you were doing while I have some guards clear this up."
The two lovers disappeared back through the door in an instant as myself and Zoh got up from the floor. A considerable amount of me hurt but other than that the plan had gone way better than I had expected. As I took a second to stare at the mostly destroyed gondola that was half in the building and half out, the door on the other side of the room was kicked open and several Noxian soldiers ran through it. They had their spears ready but put them down pretty quickly when they realised who was in there.
"Ah, gentlemen, it is great to see your response time is so low. Now, if you would please organise yourselves to clear this mess up and get some builders in to fix the wall I would be most grateful."
The Grand Admiral strolled out of the open door as the soldiers got to work. I turned to Zoh and remarked:
"This is easily one of the most useful guys I've ever met."
"I know. Definitely multiple steps up from most of the other Noxians we've met."
We followed Ryker out of the door and caught up with him as he casually made his way down the street as if nothing had just happened. As I walked beside him I decided it was time to ask for his help:
"Hey, so the reason we were even at the dock to come save you is because we need your help. Essentially, we're going to be invading the League because the new leader of it is a total douche and we need all of Noxus behind us to pull it off. Can you help?"
"It only seems fair that, after this miraculous rescue, I give you my full support in all your endeavours so long as they are just. Right now, however, I shall be returning home to my husband. Good day to you." Jeremy wished us well before giving an informal salute while going through the gates of his castle. Zoh and I stopped walking outside the gate and waved a goodbye to him. I turned to Zoh and shrugged:
"I miss him already."
"Same. I wonder if the dude we sent Shen and Akali to deal with was as nice as Jeremy."
Shen's POV
"CALM DOWN SIR!" I shouted while repeatedly punching the Spymaster in the face as I pinned him to the ground.
"YOU JUST. NEED. TO. CALM. DOWN."
This bit right here is where the chapter ends. Fun facts.
Anyway, next chapter will be mostly Shen and Akali with almost no Zoh, Ahri or Zed.
Also, sorry this is a few days late. I've been playing a lot of League.
Other than that, I sincerely hope you've enjoyed the chapter as much or more than I enjoyed writing it (which is a lot) and I will see you in the next chapter which should (hopefully [but don't quote me on this]) be out on time.
Goodbye people.
